The Art of Improving

[To Be Announced]

As usual, MPW demonstrated why it is one of the most dominant shows in the business right now. Endless action and excitement, unexpected twist after twist, and a standing ovation from the crowd during and after every single match. But for me, the greatest moment of the night was after that epic X-Core championship match. Even though I lost, even though I failed to fulfill my promise to my fans, as I finally walked up the ramp, feeling the effects of the brutal war, the arena was suddenly flooded with applause. I turned around to see each and every person on the crowd on their feet, clapping their hands, showing their appreciation for what they had just witnessed. I looked around, but I was the only competitor present, all the others had already left. That was when it hit me. They were applauding me. Even though I failed to keep my promise, they still appreciated my efforts. I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live.

Of course it took a little while to recover from my wounds, but after seeing who I was going up against next, I knew that I had to prepare myself. And that's why, as usual, I'm here at a gym. But today, I'm not going through my regular training schedule, oh no. I'm going up against one of the most intense guys I've ever met in the business. If I'm going to take this guy on, I'm gonna have to up my game a bit. Quite basically, I need to study a martial art.

Chicken: So then, you're my trainer?

Kenji Hakuri: Please Chicken-san, put your hand up before asking a question. But in answer to your question, yes. I am Kenji Hakuri, and I will be your Judo instructor.

That's right. I'm thinking of studying Judo first. What's wrong with that? If anything, I need more takedowns in my arsenal, this could really help me with my grappling game. I just wish this was a private class, and I wish I didn't have to wear this damn woman's uniform...

Kenji Hakuri: Okay class, now I will demonstrate the basic hip throw. May I have a volunteer? How about you Chicken-san?

Chicken: Uh, okay then...

Kenji Hakuri: Okay now, first of all, we bow. Good. Now we just take hold...and then the throw...

Chicken: OOF!!

Kenji Hakuri: Excellent. Now did everyone watch that? Good. Thank you Chicken-san.

Yeah, thanks for throwing me like a bloody sack of potatoes...

Kenji Hakuri: Now, if everyone would like to pick a partner, we can begin.

Oh sure, pair me up with Shaquille O'Neal lookalike! Quite frankly, this Judo class is a bad idea. Worse beating than the actual X-Core title match! I don't need this! Oh well, we still have the rest of the week. Maybe I should try Taekwondo next...




*fast forward two days to the first Taekwondo class...*

Taekwondo Instructor: Okay class, I'm now going to demonstrate the basic front snap kick. Can I have a volunteer please? Chicken, how about you?

It's basically the same abuse I took in my Judo class, only kick-based! Damn instructor almost kicked my ribs into spaghetti, even with the body armor on! Oh well, maybe my third class will be better...




*fast forward another two days to the next class...*

Capoeira Instructor: Okay, now let's begin the roda!

The what now? Oh crap, there's no way I can do this! I'm out...




*the following day...*

Boxing Trainer: Okay, so would you like to step into the ring?

What the hell am I thinking!? Fuck no!!




*later that night...*

Tasha Jordan: Thank you so much for having us over Chicken.

Chicken: It's my pleasure Tasha, might I say how lovely you look this evening?

Tasha Jordan: Why thank you, you're as sweet as ever.

Okay, so none of my classes turned out to be helpful. Don't worry, that doesn't matter, as I shall explain in this interview...

Tasha Jordan: Okay so, first things first, how are you feeling after your match at After Shock?

Chicken: Well, I'm still feeling the odd bruise here and there, but don't worry I'll be fit and ready to compete in time for TNT.

Tasha Jordan: Speaking of TNT, your first match returning from After Shock will be a singles contest against Ryu Kobayashi, who is fresh from earning the victory against Tyler Rose in what was an astonishing battle. Are you worried that he may keep that momentum rolling when you two meet?

Chicken: There's no question that Ryu put up one hell of a battle, but then again, so did I. There were two differences between our battles though. Oh sure, he came out on top while I didn't, while I took on four other guys in a truly career altering match, he took on an actor for just over fifteen minutes. As impressive as that match was, and as impressive as you were, Ryu will have to realize that on Thursday, he will be taking on a different kind of competitor altogether. You see, I'm not a very good actor, and I certainly don't look like any kind of movie star, but there's one thing that I will do, and that is bring the fight to you. Ryu, you may very well be the most intense guy around here, but I must warn you, don't underestimate me, because one mistake will be all it takes for me to humiliate you in that ring.

Tasha Jordan: Okay thanks...now to move on, there are rumors circulating that you participated in several martial art classes in the week...

Chicken: Well I don't...

Tasha Jordan: Many of your fans have been on Twitter commenting that some of them spotted you around Nevada taking part in these classes, one in particular a Judo class right here in Las Vegas. Are these rumors true?

Chicken: Yep, all true.

Tasha Jordan: Any particular reason why you decided to attend these classes?

Chicken: Umm...well, I just thought...

Tasha Jordan: And do you intend to continue these classes?

Chicken: Actually no. I actually don't need any of these classes. Let me tell you something. After my match at After Shock, as I was leaving ringside, the entire crowd stood up and applauded my efforts. That moment will stay with me until the day I die, and you know why? Because it's for moments like that why I wanted to be a professional wrestler in the first place. I've always wanted to make a name for myself, and when all those people stood up and cheered for me as I walked out, even though I lost, I finally realized that I have. Title or no title, my fans love me no matter what. I don't know why it took me so long to realize, but actually, I don't need to take any of these classes. If these fans love me for who I am, then why should I change?

Tasha Jordan: Umm thanks Chicken. Before we leave though, do you have any last comments for Ryu Kobayashi?

Chicken: Sure. At After Shock, I took on an insane hardcore freak, a member of the True Wrestling Icons, a giant monster, and who I believe to be the future of this business, all at the same time, in a King of the Mountain match, and I survived. Do you think I'm gonna be intimidated by a guy like Ryu Kobayashi? Exactly. Now Ryu, you may have some unfinished business with Tyler Rose or whatever, but at TNT, you have me to deal with, and I hope you don't get distracted, because I want to see what you're really made of.

Tasha Jordan: Thanks, and thank you so much for having us here Chicken.

Chicken: No problem Tasha. Hey, fancy sticking around for a little while? Sweeney's gonna pop up soon with some Chinese food...

Tasha Jordan: No thanks...

Damn, so close to actually having my first takeaway with a woman! Damn...