Post by electrastevens on Oct 21, 2012 23:09:52 GMT -5
OOC: A couple things. first off read the "Revealing the Truth" & "It ain't easy" RP's
This takes place after the ppv, Second, this will be 3rd part with 1 more to follow, so hope you enjoy it!
Big Thanks to my writing buddy Holly for helping me on it!
~*~
Lexi looks up at the man sitting across from her and can’t read his expression. Seeing as how he’s a lawyer she assumed he’d gotten pretty good at using a poker face. On either side of her are people she both loves and cares about. One is holding her hand firmly but not too hard, giving her a little squeeze of reassurance whereas the other is shaking, mostly from anger.
Chrissy had been a ball of tension since Lexi had called her in LA to tell her what the plan was.
Mr. Rogers opened a folder in front of him and cleared his throat.
Mr.Rogers: So I can understand how hard this must be for both of you. I also assume that since you hadn't kept in contact with your Step-Father that you were unaware of his deteriorating condition as of late. He had expressed to me not to tell you ladies unless it got to this point.
Lexi took a deep breath.
Lexi: Forgive me Mr.Rogers but I don’t exactly know what it is that’s wrong with him. I know about his... other disabilities but since the last time I’d had contact with him he was still mobile and able to function normally day to day....
Mr.Rogers: Cancer. Testicular I believe.
Chrissy smirked and one of Caine’s eyebrows shot skyward, thoughts of how karma really could be a bitch wafting through his brain. He fought back the urge to make a smartass comment and was able to keep quiet. This wasn’t about him today. Lexi squeezed Chrissy’s hand a little harder as a warning.
Lexi: I’m sorry to hear that. I contacted you and came as soon as I was able to. I’ve had a lot of personal things going on in my life as of late that took precedence. considering the situation you understand that I wouldn’t put Daniel first in my life.
Mr.Rogers: of course. And he understood that as well. he did always say that he didn’t want to bother you ladies with his condition. He was actually insistent about it.
Lexi was a little surprised. Had Daniel really turned over a new leaf or was he still petrified that she would come back to finish the job she started. Mr. Rogers cleared his throat and pulled at the folds of his suit jacket briefly as he glanced back down at the paperwork in front of him.
Mr. Rogers: Now, let’s get to what we are all really here today to discuss. Have the two of you talked? Discussed what your wishes are concerning your step-father’s current status and agreed upon what the next step you wish to pursue is? The ball really is completely in your court, legally speaking, and as far as the money is concerned it would of course be divided up equally between you but once it has been signed over to you then it will be completely up to you as far as what you wish to do with it.
Lexi looked at Chrissy. When she’d asked her about the money part of it, she’d seemed reluctant to talk about. She’d even said that she didn’t care, she just wanted to see the bastard die. It made lexi feel uncomfortable but she’d let Chrissy rant a little and when she’d looked at Caine during it, he also seemed uncomfortable.
Lexi: We haven’t exactly agreed on that part yet. I know this will sound awful but how much are we looking at exactly? I know he did have his charities that he donated to and probably wanted a portion to go to them... and then there’s that house....
Mr.Rogers: Somewhere in the degree of 3.5 million. As for the house... I don’t know if you know but that house has been a part of the Finch family for years. I did get several requests from historical agencies about wanting to make it a museum. They wouldn’t be able to offer you much for it but if you're not going to be using it for personal use it might be something to consider.
The colour drained from Lexi’s face and again she felt Caine’s fingers tighten around her own, having seen the new expression that had crossed her face. If only the ‘historical’ society knew what exactly had happened in that house. She was sure they wouldn't want it as any kind of museum.
Lexi: We will consider it. I’m not exactly interested in keeping the house, I just wanted to know if he had written anything into his will about it.
Mr.Rogers: Actually all he wanted in his will was that you and your sister were to get everything. He didn’t even want any of his money divided among his favourite charities at all. I was actually quite surprised by that. Then when he got cancer... he wasn’t allowed to change his will, Canadian law dictates that when a person becomes terminal they can’t change it....but even so he remained adamant that it was you and Christabel.
Lexi: What about his condition? Has there been any change since you sent the letter?
Mr. Rogers shook his head.
Mr.Rogers: Unfortunately not. The doctors are still pressing for you to make a decision regarding him. They say that the Cancer has spread to pretty much most of his body and without the machines he wouldn’t last more than a few minutes.
Lexi: So he’s awake?
Mr.Rogers: sometimes but with all the drugs he’s on he’s not lucid.
Lexi gripped Caine’s hand in hers, without looking at him. Instantly his second free hand came around to cover her’s in a sign of silent reassurance. Both of them had simply assumed the man would have been one step above vegetable so this news was both surprising and unexpected. Caine shifted in his seat, asking a question he suspected Lexi might be having and knowing he certainly would like to know the answer.
Aidan Caine: So by not lucid... can he recognize people? Can he talk? Can he actually understand anything being said to him?
The attorney shot Caine a dubious look, frowning down his nose at the much larger man across from him. Instead of answering Caine’s question he simply glanced over at Lexi, the disdain heavy in his voice.
Mr. Rogers: Erm, remind me again, who is this gentleman with you? Legally speaking we need to document every individual present during these things. Is he someone that needs to be here right now? We have an excellent waiting area just outside....
Why you little pencil of a man...
Caine leaned back in his chair, biting his tongue. If Electra and Chrissy would rather he leave and not be a part of this very personal family matter he was fine with it. But it was something entirely different to essentially told to wait outside by the suit. Mr. Rogers apparently felt the need to clarify.
Mr. Rogers: This is just a very delicate situation and we often have experienced eh... how shall I put this... money hungry boyfriends clouting the judgements of our clients. So we simply want to make sure nothing like that happens here, especially considering we are talking about a very large amount of financial gain for you both.
Lexi smirked and tilted her head to one side.
Lexi: Mr.Rogers, Adian is not here to try and get any money that my sister and I are entitled to, in fact he’s got a very large financial gain of his own already and has no reason to want to try and steal from us. he’s here because we want him to be here. I support my sister and he supports me. but his question was a valid one. Can Daniel communicate?
Mr.Rogers: he has a chalk board. The breathing tubes keep him from actually using his voice, but lately every time I’ve gone to visit him, he’s been out. From what the doctors and nurses say, there are few times that he actually opens his eyes, but he has asked for you Electra.
Lexi’s hand trembled. Both Caine and Chrissy looked at her. Feeling her hand shaking Caine leaned over, whispering into her ear.
Aidan Caine: Are you okay? Do you need a minute? We have all the time in the world baby. Just remember that. This is your meeting.
Lexi took a deep breath and looked over at Caine with an appreciative smile.
Lexi: I’m okay.
Mr.Rogers: So that’s Aidan....
he started to write something down on a paper and Caine gave an upward nod in the man’s direction.
Aidan Caine: What’s that?
The attorney didn’t even look up.
Mr. Rogers: Oh nothing. Just documenting something...
Aidan Caine: Well, hey, I’m sorry but uh, I have one more question.
Rogers sighed and rolled his eyes as he looked up. He hadn’t been prepared to deal with this clown.
Mr. Rogers: Yes?
Aidan Caine: I know, I know, I ask a lot of questions but, who owns this building?
The smaller man looked confused at the question but answered anyway.
Mr. Rogers: Well... we are currently leasing it from the Wells Fargo bank, my partners and I... why?
Because after we leave here I’m going to the bank and buying this building out from under you and kicking you out of it...
Aidan Caine: Oh, no reason.
He smiled briefly before removing his hand from Lexi’s grasp and putting his arm around her, deciding to shut up now that he’d given her some time to collect her thoughts. The fact her stepfather could communicate, even a little, had been a shocker.
Lexi: Well the way you described him in your letter... I... we were under the impression that he was pretty much out of it.
Mr.Rogers furrowed his brow.
Mr.Rogers: I understand that you and your step-father had a falling out but don’t you think that in his last days that you should at least try to make amends. it would at least give him some peace in his last moments. He seemed to care quite a bit about both of you,more so you Electra.
Lexi: I'm sorry? What do you mean by that?
Mr.Rogers shrugged.
Mr.Rogers: he was always saying how much he regretted your decision to leave. That having you and Christabel in the house gave him pleasure....
Chrissy’s hand squeezed at the same time that she clenched both of hers. Caine couldn’t keep quiet any longer and before he could stop himself he heard his voice filling the room, the long suppressed anger not so suppressed anymore.
Aidan Caine: Hey! Do you have any idea what kind of man your client is? Do you have any clue as to why these girls, Electra especially, are not exactly fond of him? No, I bet you don’t. I bet you don’t know shit. So how about you stop talking about what this guy wants and what this guy thinks and says and focus a little more on what these women want, hmm? Think you could do that?
Mr.Rogers looked a little frightened at Caine’s outburst and leaned away from him in his chair.
Mr.Rogers: I apologize but I don’t understand what I’ve said that was wrong? I’m not only Mr. Finch’s lawyer but I've also been a personal friend of his for many years. My understanding was that both girls left when they came of age because of domestic issues, such as teenage rebellion and such.
Caine was not a naturally angry man. In fact he was just about as laid back as they came but he’d heard enough. Now knowing that this guy was a personal friend “for many years” it was enough to send him over the edge and into a territory he rarely visited. Lexi had never seen Caine snap before, at least not in person, but she was about to, abet on a smaller scale. Silently Caine pushed back his chair and stood, leaning over the table so his face wasn’t far from the suddenly timid Mr. Rogers. His voice had a slight tremor in it as Caine struggled not to let his voice get too loud. The end result however made him appear only more frightening and potentially a little more off his rocker.
Aidan Caine: Teenage rebellion and such? Teenage... rebellion. You might want to think long and hard before you tell anyone that you are this guy’s personal friend again Mr. Rogers and I’ll tell you why. Because it’s very likely to get you decked. See, your “personal friend of many years?” He tortured that beautiful woman right there for over two years and, as her boyfriend, I can honestly say that I don’t think a day or a night’s sleep has gone by that she hasn’t thought about it or had it affect her in some way. Now she’s too good of a person to tell you where your can stick your friendship with your client, but I’m not. Your client, your buddy, likes to abuse and sexual assault helpless little girls and young women. And I’m going to tell you right now, your client is very, very lucky that I’m not the one who gets to choose the circumstances of his death. These two women owe that man nothing. They left because they had to... God know’s what would have happened if they hadn’t. Now Mr. Rogers, now you know what you said wrong and, for your sake, I’d watch everything else I said in this meeting very, very carefully.
Caine’s blue eyes all but bore a hole in the man’s face and there was a long tense silence before the big man slowly moved back to his seat. He’d come within a finger’s width of punching this guy’s teeth down his throat but at the last minute his reason had seeped back in and he was reminded that this guy, though a prick, had not been the one to personally terrorize his girlfriend and plague her older sister with guilt for years. If he weren’t worried about the negative affects his behavior might have on the women and this meeting, he would have gotten a lot more aggressive. But now he simply sat with his arms crossing his chest, glaring at the suit as the silence briefly continued to fill the air and no one moved an inch.
Rogers still had a shocked expression on his face and held up his hands.
Mr.Rogers: Look... I’m just telling you what I know. None of that information was given to me and frankly as it stands, it doesn’t matter.... not that any abuse that the girls faced doesn’t matter, only that in this legal matter... the will... it doesn't’ matter because no charges were ever laid and nothing was mentioned. I was certainly not told that. Mr. Caine if you can’t control your temper I will have to ask you to leave the room.
He turned then to Lexi and Chrissy.
Mr.Rogers: Forgive me... I have no idea what exactly the reason behind anything is. I may be a friend of mr.Finch but he didn’t give me too much detail about your lives. We became friends after you both had been out of his life for some time. I remember simply asking once during a party about two pictures on his desk of young girls when I knew he didn’t have any living relatives...that’s when he mentioned briefly that you were his step-daughters and that there had been some arguments that caused you to leave.
he shook his head, purposely avoiding anybody’s eyes.
Mr.Rogers: Now in regards to Mr.Finch’s condition. As I said the doctors would like to have a decision sooner rather than later. he’s been unchanging for several months, exhausting provincial money when there is no chance of recovery. I hate to sound cruel or uncaring but it is what it is. They know that Electra is the power of attorney and are waiting for her to come to the hospital to sign the papers. If he did do what you say he did, You have no obligation to actually go into his room and see him. That’s completely up to you...
Caine smirked. Little did this nerd realize this was Caine controlling his temper. He turned to Lexi and tried to read her face, genuinely worried and concerned for her and how she was feeling. He hoped he hadn’t just crossed a line and it only just hit him that maybe he had. It hadn’t been his place to say anything to the attorney. He whispered to her again.
Aidan Caine: You okay? Do you want me to leave?
Lexi shook her head and reached for his hand again, squeezing it in reassurance.
Lexi: Mr.Rogers, you have no idea how much pleasure it would give me to do more than just sign a paper to end his life. Tell me something... do you have a daughter? a neice? even a cousin that’s a girl?
Mr.Rogers: My daughter is 16....
Lexi laughed a little.
Lexi: Hmm, just about the same age I was when I started having to endure that torture. Just imagine how you would feel if you found out that someone was doing stuff to your daughter, blackmailing her with potential harm to someone she loved dearly. I think I might just pay a visit to dear old dad. Which hospital did you say it was?
Mr.Rogers’s face was now the one that was white as a ghost.
Mr.Rogers: St.Michaels....
Lexi: I’ll be back and we can actually sign whatever you need me to sign in order to start the things needed to transfer it all over....and yeah, find out some more about that historical society or whatever. I don’t even want to go near that house again so I don’t care what’s inside it.
Mr.Rogers: Very well....
Lexi stood and glared at the man a minute before turning and leaving the room. Soon after Caine and Chrissy exited as well. Lexi had an unreadable expression on her face. Caine glanced at Chrissy and then walked to Lexi’s side. He was worried about her. In a situation like this it was easy to get emotional and when people got emotional they got sloppy, they made mistakes, and people could get hurt. He needed to make sure, for his sake and her’s, that she was ready for this.
Aidan Caine: Are you sure you want to do this? I’ll be there every step of the way if you want or I’ll just wait in the car if you’d prefer but are you going to be okay with this when we go home?
Lexi: I really wish that he’d just died on his own you know... maybe I wouldn’t have gotten any closure but at least I wouldn’t have this lying on my conscious. After I nearly killed him... i blackmailed him, said that if he ever said that I was the one to do it I’d make sure that he paid and he knew I could do it. He didn’t want to die then, so he kept my secret and also he paid for Chrissy to go to school too.
Chrissy: You said that was a scholarship from a private donor....
Chrissy looked furious at it.
Lexi: Technically it wasn’t a lie. Would you have taken it if I said Daniel gave me that money? Probably not. Please Chrissy, don’t start getting all high and mighty on me when you were ranting about how you wanted to just pull out all his tubes and wires and let him gasp for air.
Chrissy looked guiltily at the floor and didn’t say another word.
Lexi: I have to be the one to make this decision and until I do, they’ll be calling me everyday asking me if I will sign the papers. he’s using up resources that could be better used on someone else that can actually be cured or helped. I want to talk to him, even if he doesn’t hear me or see me....then maybe I’ll know that it’s the right decision to let him die.
Chrissy: Damn straight it’s the right decision...what he did to you Lex....
Lexi: I appreciate that you're angry Chrissy but in all fairness it was me he did that to, not you.
Chrissy: It could have been both of us...
Lexi: I know why he did that...so I wouldn’t tell anybody...so I wouldn’t fight him. He did those things to me not to punish you or me but to punish our mother for dying. I look like her and in his sick perverted mine, he was hurting her. I’d like to go and get something to eat and then... then we’ll go and see him... I need both of you right now more than I think I’ve ever needed anybody...
Chrissy looked worried.
Chrissy: I don’t want you to get too stressed out... your still early along and anything could happen....
She looked cautiously at Caine, hoping he wouldn’t be upset at lexi for telling her about the baby. Caine assumed that Lexi would tell her sister, considering how close the two of them were. It wasn’t lexi’s family he was worried about. Feeling more safe than he had in weeks because he knew he was far from Vegas and he could rely on the fact dirt sheet reporters wouldn’t be in a law firm, Caine stepped even closer to Lexi, studying her. Without even realizing he was doing it he’d put one hand on her stomach. He’d caught himself doing it a lot lately.
Aidan Caine: Chrissy’s right. You haven’t been taking very good care of yourself lately. You aren’t sleeping and you don’t eat enough. I know, I’ve been through this once before remember? If you feel you can do this, if you feel you need to do this for you then okay. But if you are or start feeling sick or anything you need to say something okay?
He knew she wasn’t the type to complain about anything or admit when she wasn’t well. So maybe he was coming across as overly protective but damnit, it might be his kid in there and he wanted to make sure him or her lived to be more than just a blob on an ultrasound picture. Not to mention Lexi was his girlfriend and he loved her and at this particular moment she was looking very pale and a little shaken. It made her look even more petite than she already was. Like she would break if he hugged her too tightly.
Lexi: I know. A lot has happened in such a short period of time and yes, I’m a little on edge right now learning that not only is he kind of awake but he’s been asking for me? I don’t know exactly how to take that or what he’s going to say to me. I mean even it’s just to say hey “fuck you Electra” before taking his last breath....
she closed her eyes for a second and Caine’s voice suddenly had a nervous lilt to it as he put one arm around her.
Aidan Caine: Baby? Let’s just do this tomorrow or something. We can get a hotel or go stay with your sister if she’s feeling generous. We’ll go get you something to eat, preferably with a lot of protein, and you can rest for the rest of the day and then tomorrow, when you’ve rested some more you can go see him if you still want to. Don’t worry about him and what he’s going to say to you. Just focus on you.
Chrissy: I think Adian’s right honey. I can see how tired you are. with everything that’s happened, I think you just need some down time. the man isn’t going anywhere. You guys are always welcome at my house.
She rolls her eyes at cain for the insinuation that they wouldn’t be invited back.
Chrissy: I’ll phone Terry and have him start something for supper. he was actually hoping you guys wouldn’t just dash off. He was excited to talk to someone about something other than the baby for a change and I think some guy time would be good for him, as long as you don’t mind entertaining him for a little while tonight Adian.
Lexi: Okay... you guys win. I know that I haven’t been taking care of myself like i should be but I will be going tomorrow... I don’t want to wait any longer than that.
Caine nodded and took her hand, glad she had agreed to rest some. He chose to stay close to her as he glanced over at Chrissy, commenting about how he’d be more than happy to keep Terry company while the man put on his “pretty apron” and made him dinner. It got a playful slap on the arm from Chrissy and normally he felt Lexi too would have had some kind of reaction but instead she was silent. Perhaps she was simply lost in her thoughts but he worried it was more than that. She really didn’t look like she felt well. Caine drove all three back to Chrissy and Terry’s place, he and Lexi having picked her up earlier before the meeting. When they arrived Terry and Caine greeted one another like best friends before Terry told them he’d already made sure the pool house was ready for them. After a few moments of discussion Caine and Lexi headed toward the French doors leading out to the pool area. He figured Lexi might be able to wear something of Chrissy’s if she wanted the next day but he had no idea what he’d wear. Terry was nowhere near his size. Luckily they’d thought to stop at a drug store for basic toiletries so they had those at least. As they started outside Caine put one hand on Lexi’s shoulder. She’d been so quiet that it was starting to scare him.
Aidan Caine: Lex, you’d tell me if something were wrong right?
Lexi smiled up at him.
Lexi: of course I would. I promised you in vegas that i would try not to hide anything from you anymore. It’s just more of the same things that I told you guys about... Part of me is still scared of that man even though I know there is no way he could possibly hurt me ever again. It really bothers me that he really could have the last word in and just wondering what those last words could be. I know I shouldn’t let it worry me and everytime I try to think about something else, it just comes right back to that thought that tomorrow I’m going to be responsible for killing a man that I’ve felt guilty about almost killing 12 years ago....
They reached the pool house and she rushed in, feeling the cold of the Chilly October air. She saw the bed and immediately sunk down into it and laid back on the pillows, feeling some of the tension of the day start to fade.Caine sat their few belongings down by the door and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge beside her and lovingly reaching up to move a stray blonde strand behind her ear and out of her face. Then he moved lower on the bed and pulled off her shoes, beginning to massage her feet as he spoke.
Aidan Caine: Maybe you shouldn’t think of it so much as being responsible for killing a man that has made you feel so much guilt for so long. The guy has a death sentence whether you are the one that pulls the plug or not Lexi. Maybe this could just be a way for you to get some closure. A final way of letting him know what you are thinking and have been thinking for a long time now. Either way baby, he’s going to die, and if you can’t physically do it, someone else will. You have nothing to feel guilty or bad about. Especially after what he did to you.
Lexi opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile.
Lexi: I know. and I’m not sorry for actually hurting him, what I feel guilty about was the fact that I had let my anger overwhelm me like that and despite what anybody does to me, I could never actually kill someone. I guess it’s not really killing him...it’s taking away the borrowed time he’s been living on. You know what... I’m just not going to think about it right now. I don’t have to until at least tomorrow when I talk to his doctors. Let’s talk about something happier... like maybe the fact that I’ve 12 weeks now... Dr.Louie is amazed.
Caine found himself grinning and he crawled further up on the bed so he was lying alongside her. He propped himself up on one elbow, resting his head on his closed fist and turning on his side so he was facing her, his blue eyes taking her in as his left hand once again gravitated to her stomach.
Aidan Caine: Is there ever going to be a time where he thinks we may be in the clear? Where the risk is less? When Lauren was pregnant with Gracie the doctor said he’d never seen a more textbook, perfect pregnancy so I guess this time I’m in uncharted waters. I was asleep for a lot longer than I thought at first too. I feel like I’ve missed a lot. You’ve seemed... and looked, different since I woke up. It’s kinda weird I guess. Missing the natural progression.
He was secretly terrified but he wasn’t going to tell her that. She didn’t need anything else to worry about right now. Still, every time she so much as sneezed he worried about her and the baby. He didn’t know how he would last six more months of this. Of just never knowing and always trying to prepare for the worst.
Lexi: I see the doctor every 2 weeks.... normally they would see me every month until I hit 32 weeks. he’s keep a careful eye on me because of all the problems I have with my plumbing but generally speaking, once you get over 12... the chances of miscarriage are almost none. I think he’s more just keeping tabs on me because I had such a hard pregnancy with Matthew but so far... this one has been a breeze in comparison...except for the being so damn tired all the time. the doctor doesn’t have many worries about whether or not I’ll make it at least 36 weeks. he’s pushing for a c-section though and I refuse. I didn’t need it with matty and he was a big baby.
She smiled a little.
Lexi: I don’t want to push Adian but you know that this is a two way street right and that if you want to talk about Lauren I don’t mind. If what we have lasts longer and I’m there to watch Gracie grow up I want to be able to tell her how much her father loved her mother because when you have talked about her I can see that. I'm not offended by it and I'm not jealous. But whatever you want to share with me is fine, but you don’t have to walk on eggshells. god knows I’ve probably bored you to tears with my talking about my past....
No sooner had she said Lauren’s name than she’d felt Aidan tense up beside her. He dropped his gaze, suddenly absolutely fascinated by the pattern on the soft downy comforter. He was quiet for several long minutes before finally speaking. He didn’t sound angry or upset in any way, just thoughtful and slightly... well she wasn’t exactly what that hint of something in his voice was...
Aidan Caine: Is there anything in particular you want to know about her or when she and I were together?
Lexi reached for his hand with hers and squeezed it.
Lexi: honey you can tell me whatever you want to tell me. I don’t know anything about her, except what I see in Gracie that’s obviously not you. You can start from the beginning if you're up to it or you can tell me to mind my business. I just wanted you to know that I’m there for you as much as you're there for me and well... although my past has a lot more weight to it, I know you have one too. Like you said, sometimes just talking about it helps you to feel better.... so with that... I leave it up to you and even if you never tell me anything other than her name I’ll respect it.
Inside Lexi was curious about the woman but again, she didn’t want Adian to feel as if she were prying into things he wasn’t ready to talk about... but it was important to her that he knew that she was understanding and that she wasn’t going to be one of these women that constantly threw it back in their boyfriend’s face about past relationships, no matter how they had ended. He still wouldn’t look at her for the longest time and when he finally did turn his face back up toward her’s she saw how his normally bright cerulean blue eyes had darkened almost to a stormy grey. His voice was very low as he began, faltering uncharacteristically after every couple of words.
Aidan Caine: I know you’d listen, I just... I don’t think you really know what you are asking. I want to tell you whatever you want to know but... well, I know you aren’t the kind of woman to ever use exes as weapons. I know I can talk to you. I just don’t know that I should... about certain things. I think they would definitely change the way you look at me if you knew some things. And right now... with things being a little more... strained I guess, I’m not sure the way you would see me would help us in any way. I think it would just hurt us. If any of that makes any kind of sense at all. Lauren... God I can’t believe how hard it still is to say her name... well, there was more to it than what I told everyone. I even had to go see someone for a while after which is why I can tell you that sometimes talking to someone makes things easier or at least more bearable... I just... I don’t want to push you away anymore by telling you truths you probably don’t really want to know. But if you want me to, I will tell you anything you want. I just want you to know that my having not told you more about... the past... has nothing to do with you or how I see you.
Lexi looked down to her stomach and back up to him before averting her own gaze.
Lexi: Gracie wasn’t planned either... was she?
Lexi then shook her head.
Lexi: Wait... no you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’ll take whatever you want to offer me and if you really don’t feel comfortable then that’s absolutely fine...but know that there isn’t anything that would make my feelings change or cause me to love you any less than I already do.
For a moment a shadow of disbelief crossed his face but then it was gone so quickly it was almost as if it had never been present in the first place. He hesitated and then lowered his eyes so he wasn’t looking at her directly anymore but at a long jagged white hint of a scar that wove in between his third and fourth fingers, down his palm and several inches past his wrist. It was a scar she’s noticed before but had written off as a battle wound. In their line of work it was a common occurrence. Her assumption was wrong.
Aidan Caine: Gracie was an accident. A terrible, wonderful, perfect little accident that both ruined and made everything. We didn’t want her. Technically we weren’t even a couple when we made her. In fact we’d only had sex once. Apparently... from the looks of things... I’m just a little too damn fertile huh?
His words had no playfulness to them, something she would have normally expected. His tone was simply blunt, to the point, and void of emotion as he continued.
Aidan Caine: We weren’t going to keep her. Got as far as filling out the paperwork in the clinic before we both said we just couldn’t do it. It was more our parents’ doing than anything. Everyone told us we were crazy and ruining our lives. Six months later we were parents. Two months after that she was dead. I proposed to her when she was about as far along as you are now. I’d loved her for a long time before we’d ever even gone on our first date. I actually met her when she began to date Josh believe it or not. A lot of you and I reminds me of she and I sometimes. In how quickly everything happened. And now... with this pregnancy being a little more dangerous for you and the baby... well, anyway... we did everything the wrong way. Had sex too soon, got pregnant too soon, moved in together too soon, we were going to get married too soon... and she died too soon.
Aidan always had the gift of gab. He could talk to just about anybody about anything. But for the first time since she’d known him Lexi saw Caine’s words falter as he said that final sentence and he didn’t look like he could carry on. It was as if all the air just left his lungs and she could see his shoulders visibly collapse as he looked away from her, rolling onto his back in the bed but not moving to get up.
Lexi frowned and moved so that she was looking down at him... again a guilty feeling washing over her, even though she’d told him that he didn’t have to, she now felt like she’d maybe pushed too much.
Lexi: If you thought I would lose respect for you because you guys almost went through with an abortion then I guess you’d have to lose a little more respect for me too. I almost did the same thing... after... well let’s just say that I didn’t think I could do it, knowing how Ryan could be... but Justin and Chrissy convinced me not to and I’m so glad I didn’t. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that although I know you can’t help but feel that way, especially with seeing how perfect she really is. I’m sure that if my mom had been alive when I’d met Ryan she’d had probably told me that I was ruining my life too. I can’t fault you for loving someone. I can’t fault you for doing what you thought was the right thing and it’s certainly not your fault that she died. You said congenital heart problem right? Something that no one could ever have guessed? Adian... it’s unfortunate that it seems that history is repeating itself right now but you know what... I'm actually happy. I mean I do care who the father is... of course I do but part of me doesn’t care cuz I know that no matter if this baby turns out to be Ryan’s or yours it’s not going to matter to you. You treat Matty like he could be your son and you have no idea how much that means to me or to him even. Like I said... i still love you, maybe even a little more now than I did 5 minutes ago because you just proved even more what it is that made me start liking you in the first place.
she smiled down at him and cupped his face, forcing him to look into her eyes.
Lexi: Do you hear me? You are still the same man you were a couple minutes ago, a couple hours ago... 12 weeks ago. Even the same man that said that I had no self respect and needed to eat more. I wanted to hate you then but part of me couldn’t get past how darn cute you were... plus... I wasn’t exactly free then either. But here’s the point of all that... like you told me a couple days ago I will not hold your past against you all I care about is the present and future.
She leaned down and kissed his forehead, brushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen, realizing now that since his extended stay in the hospital he probably was due for a trim...not that it bothered her at all. He gave her a light close-lipped smile, silently praying it the bitterness or cynicism he was feeling wasn’t conveyed in it. He couldn’t tell her now. His Lexi. His dear, sweet, kind, loving, and naive Lexi. She honestly thought that the only reason he was worried she would think less of him was because he and Lauren had almost had an abortion? He wished it had been that simple. He’d always felt guilty for it yes but there was so much more to it than just that. He couldn’t tell her now though. She was suddenly looking more content than he’d seen her look in days. He couldn’t tell her the rest of the truth now. He couldn’t tell her that Lauren’s death hadn’t been as simple as he’d made it out to be and that yes, he really could blame himself for it, for reasons she didn’t even know. It was also not the only blood that had stained his hands back then. But lying in the bed, looking into her trusting, caring eyes he didn’t want to tell her about any of that. He glanced once more at the long silvery scar that ran from between his two fingers halfway to his elbow. He wore the scars of that day on both the inside and the outside, and nothing would change that or make them go away. She still thought he was the same man. She still loved him and she’d agreed that the past didn’t matter. He couldn’t risk changing her opinion. She’d said she was happy and that was all that mattered to him. And she was right, even if this kid turned out to be Ryan’s it had come to not even matter to Aidan. It would hurt. It would be another mental hurdle. But it ultimately would not matter to him one bit. Because lying there, in that bed with his girlfriend, he couldn’t imagine being happier anywhere else. So he kept quiet and let her assume she’d gotten to the core of his problems while the truth was she’d barely scraped the surface. As she played with his longer than normal hair he pulled her closer to him, wrapping both his arms around her and gently pulled her face to his in a passionate kiss unlike any they had shared since he’d woken up. It was the kind of kiss that took your breath away and made you feel like such a small piece of a big picture. He couldn't give her up. He couldn't risk losing her. So he simply forced another smile on his face and kissed her again, whispering softly into her ear the only three words he could honestly say in the moment.
Aidan Caine: I love you.
This takes place after the ppv, Second, this will be 3rd part with 1 more to follow, so hope you enjoy it!
Big Thanks to my writing buddy Holly for helping me on it!
~*~
Lexi looks up at the man sitting across from her and can’t read his expression. Seeing as how he’s a lawyer she assumed he’d gotten pretty good at using a poker face. On either side of her are people she both loves and cares about. One is holding her hand firmly but not too hard, giving her a little squeeze of reassurance whereas the other is shaking, mostly from anger.
Chrissy had been a ball of tension since Lexi had called her in LA to tell her what the plan was.
Mr. Rogers opened a folder in front of him and cleared his throat.
Mr.Rogers: So I can understand how hard this must be for both of you. I also assume that since you hadn't kept in contact with your Step-Father that you were unaware of his deteriorating condition as of late. He had expressed to me not to tell you ladies unless it got to this point.
Lexi took a deep breath.
Lexi: Forgive me Mr.Rogers but I don’t exactly know what it is that’s wrong with him. I know about his... other disabilities but since the last time I’d had contact with him he was still mobile and able to function normally day to day....
Mr.Rogers: Cancer. Testicular I believe.
Chrissy smirked and one of Caine’s eyebrows shot skyward, thoughts of how karma really could be a bitch wafting through his brain. He fought back the urge to make a smartass comment and was able to keep quiet. This wasn’t about him today. Lexi squeezed Chrissy’s hand a little harder as a warning.
Lexi: I’m sorry to hear that. I contacted you and came as soon as I was able to. I’ve had a lot of personal things going on in my life as of late that took precedence. considering the situation you understand that I wouldn’t put Daniel first in my life.
Mr.Rogers: of course. And he understood that as well. he did always say that he didn’t want to bother you ladies with his condition. He was actually insistent about it.
Lexi was a little surprised. Had Daniel really turned over a new leaf or was he still petrified that she would come back to finish the job she started. Mr. Rogers cleared his throat and pulled at the folds of his suit jacket briefly as he glanced back down at the paperwork in front of him.
Mr. Rogers: Now, let’s get to what we are all really here today to discuss. Have the two of you talked? Discussed what your wishes are concerning your step-father’s current status and agreed upon what the next step you wish to pursue is? The ball really is completely in your court, legally speaking, and as far as the money is concerned it would of course be divided up equally between you but once it has been signed over to you then it will be completely up to you as far as what you wish to do with it.
Lexi looked at Chrissy. When she’d asked her about the money part of it, she’d seemed reluctant to talk about. She’d even said that she didn’t care, she just wanted to see the bastard die. It made lexi feel uncomfortable but she’d let Chrissy rant a little and when she’d looked at Caine during it, he also seemed uncomfortable.
Lexi: We haven’t exactly agreed on that part yet. I know this will sound awful but how much are we looking at exactly? I know he did have his charities that he donated to and probably wanted a portion to go to them... and then there’s that house....
Mr.Rogers: Somewhere in the degree of 3.5 million. As for the house... I don’t know if you know but that house has been a part of the Finch family for years. I did get several requests from historical agencies about wanting to make it a museum. They wouldn’t be able to offer you much for it but if you're not going to be using it for personal use it might be something to consider.
The colour drained from Lexi’s face and again she felt Caine’s fingers tighten around her own, having seen the new expression that had crossed her face. If only the ‘historical’ society knew what exactly had happened in that house. She was sure they wouldn't want it as any kind of museum.
Lexi: We will consider it. I’m not exactly interested in keeping the house, I just wanted to know if he had written anything into his will about it.
Mr.Rogers: Actually all he wanted in his will was that you and your sister were to get everything. He didn’t even want any of his money divided among his favourite charities at all. I was actually quite surprised by that. Then when he got cancer... he wasn’t allowed to change his will, Canadian law dictates that when a person becomes terminal they can’t change it....but even so he remained adamant that it was you and Christabel.
Lexi: What about his condition? Has there been any change since you sent the letter?
Mr. Rogers shook his head.
Mr.Rogers: Unfortunately not. The doctors are still pressing for you to make a decision regarding him. They say that the Cancer has spread to pretty much most of his body and without the machines he wouldn’t last more than a few minutes.
Lexi: So he’s awake?
Mr.Rogers: sometimes but with all the drugs he’s on he’s not lucid.
Lexi gripped Caine’s hand in hers, without looking at him. Instantly his second free hand came around to cover her’s in a sign of silent reassurance. Both of them had simply assumed the man would have been one step above vegetable so this news was both surprising and unexpected. Caine shifted in his seat, asking a question he suspected Lexi might be having and knowing he certainly would like to know the answer.
Aidan Caine: So by not lucid... can he recognize people? Can he talk? Can he actually understand anything being said to him?
The attorney shot Caine a dubious look, frowning down his nose at the much larger man across from him. Instead of answering Caine’s question he simply glanced over at Lexi, the disdain heavy in his voice.
Mr. Rogers: Erm, remind me again, who is this gentleman with you? Legally speaking we need to document every individual present during these things. Is he someone that needs to be here right now? We have an excellent waiting area just outside....
Why you little pencil of a man...
Caine leaned back in his chair, biting his tongue. If Electra and Chrissy would rather he leave and not be a part of this very personal family matter he was fine with it. But it was something entirely different to essentially told to wait outside by the suit. Mr. Rogers apparently felt the need to clarify.
Mr. Rogers: This is just a very delicate situation and we often have experienced eh... how shall I put this... money hungry boyfriends clouting the judgements of our clients. So we simply want to make sure nothing like that happens here, especially considering we are talking about a very large amount of financial gain for you both.
Lexi smirked and tilted her head to one side.
Lexi: Mr.Rogers, Adian is not here to try and get any money that my sister and I are entitled to, in fact he’s got a very large financial gain of his own already and has no reason to want to try and steal from us. he’s here because we want him to be here. I support my sister and he supports me. but his question was a valid one. Can Daniel communicate?
Mr.Rogers: he has a chalk board. The breathing tubes keep him from actually using his voice, but lately every time I’ve gone to visit him, he’s been out. From what the doctors and nurses say, there are few times that he actually opens his eyes, but he has asked for you Electra.
Lexi’s hand trembled. Both Caine and Chrissy looked at her. Feeling her hand shaking Caine leaned over, whispering into her ear.
Aidan Caine: Are you okay? Do you need a minute? We have all the time in the world baby. Just remember that. This is your meeting.
Lexi took a deep breath and looked over at Caine with an appreciative smile.
Lexi: I’m okay.
Mr.Rogers: So that’s Aidan....
he started to write something down on a paper and Caine gave an upward nod in the man’s direction.
Aidan Caine: What’s that?
The attorney didn’t even look up.
Mr. Rogers: Oh nothing. Just documenting something...
Aidan Caine: Well, hey, I’m sorry but uh, I have one more question.
Rogers sighed and rolled his eyes as he looked up. He hadn’t been prepared to deal with this clown.
Mr. Rogers: Yes?
Aidan Caine: I know, I know, I ask a lot of questions but, who owns this building?
The smaller man looked confused at the question but answered anyway.
Mr. Rogers: Well... we are currently leasing it from the Wells Fargo bank, my partners and I... why?
Because after we leave here I’m going to the bank and buying this building out from under you and kicking you out of it...
Aidan Caine: Oh, no reason.
He smiled briefly before removing his hand from Lexi’s grasp and putting his arm around her, deciding to shut up now that he’d given her some time to collect her thoughts. The fact her stepfather could communicate, even a little, had been a shocker.
Lexi: Well the way you described him in your letter... I... we were under the impression that he was pretty much out of it.
Mr.Rogers furrowed his brow.
Mr.Rogers: I understand that you and your step-father had a falling out but don’t you think that in his last days that you should at least try to make amends. it would at least give him some peace in his last moments. He seemed to care quite a bit about both of you,more so you Electra.
Lexi: I'm sorry? What do you mean by that?
Mr.Rogers shrugged.
Mr.Rogers: he was always saying how much he regretted your decision to leave. That having you and Christabel in the house gave him pleasure....
Chrissy’s hand squeezed at the same time that she clenched both of hers. Caine couldn’t keep quiet any longer and before he could stop himself he heard his voice filling the room, the long suppressed anger not so suppressed anymore.
Aidan Caine: Hey! Do you have any idea what kind of man your client is? Do you have any clue as to why these girls, Electra especially, are not exactly fond of him? No, I bet you don’t. I bet you don’t know shit. So how about you stop talking about what this guy wants and what this guy thinks and says and focus a little more on what these women want, hmm? Think you could do that?
Mr.Rogers looked a little frightened at Caine’s outburst and leaned away from him in his chair.
Mr.Rogers: I apologize but I don’t understand what I’ve said that was wrong? I’m not only Mr. Finch’s lawyer but I've also been a personal friend of his for many years. My understanding was that both girls left when they came of age because of domestic issues, such as teenage rebellion and such.
Caine was not a naturally angry man. In fact he was just about as laid back as they came but he’d heard enough. Now knowing that this guy was a personal friend “for many years” it was enough to send him over the edge and into a territory he rarely visited. Lexi had never seen Caine snap before, at least not in person, but she was about to, abet on a smaller scale. Silently Caine pushed back his chair and stood, leaning over the table so his face wasn’t far from the suddenly timid Mr. Rogers. His voice had a slight tremor in it as Caine struggled not to let his voice get too loud. The end result however made him appear only more frightening and potentially a little more off his rocker.
Aidan Caine: Teenage rebellion and such? Teenage... rebellion. You might want to think long and hard before you tell anyone that you are this guy’s personal friend again Mr. Rogers and I’ll tell you why. Because it’s very likely to get you decked. See, your “personal friend of many years?” He tortured that beautiful woman right there for over two years and, as her boyfriend, I can honestly say that I don’t think a day or a night’s sleep has gone by that she hasn’t thought about it or had it affect her in some way. Now she’s too good of a person to tell you where your can stick your friendship with your client, but I’m not. Your client, your buddy, likes to abuse and sexual assault helpless little girls and young women. And I’m going to tell you right now, your client is very, very lucky that I’m not the one who gets to choose the circumstances of his death. These two women owe that man nothing. They left because they had to... God know’s what would have happened if they hadn’t. Now Mr. Rogers, now you know what you said wrong and, for your sake, I’d watch everything else I said in this meeting very, very carefully.
Caine’s blue eyes all but bore a hole in the man’s face and there was a long tense silence before the big man slowly moved back to his seat. He’d come within a finger’s width of punching this guy’s teeth down his throat but at the last minute his reason had seeped back in and he was reminded that this guy, though a prick, had not been the one to personally terrorize his girlfriend and plague her older sister with guilt for years. If he weren’t worried about the negative affects his behavior might have on the women and this meeting, he would have gotten a lot more aggressive. But now he simply sat with his arms crossing his chest, glaring at the suit as the silence briefly continued to fill the air and no one moved an inch.
Rogers still had a shocked expression on his face and held up his hands.
Mr.Rogers: Look... I’m just telling you what I know. None of that information was given to me and frankly as it stands, it doesn’t matter.... not that any abuse that the girls faced doesn’t matter, only that in this legal matter... the will... it doesn't’ matter because no charges were ever laid and nothing was mentioned. I was certainly not told that. Mr. Caine if you can’t control your temper I will have to ask you to leave the room.
He turned then to Lexi and Chrissy.
Mr.Rogers: Forgive me... I have no idea what exactly the reason behind anything is. I may be a friend of mr.Finch but he didn’t give me too much detail about your lives. We became friends after you both had been out of his life for some time. I remember simply asking once during a party about two pictures on his desk of young girls when I knew he didn’t have any living relatives...that’s when he mentioned briefly that you were his step-daughters and that there had been some arguments that caused you to leave.
he shook his head, purposely avoiding anybody’s eyes.
Mr.Rogers: Now in regards to Mr.Finch’s condition. As I said the doctors would like to have a decision sooner rather than later. he’s been unchanging for several months, exhausting provincial money when there is no chance of recovery. I hate to sound cruel or uncaring but it is what it is. They know that Electra is the power of attorney and are waiting for her to come to the hospital to sign the papers. If he did do what you say he did, You have no obligation to actually go into his room and see him. That’s completely up to you...
Caine smirked. Little did this nerd realize this was Caine controlling his temper. He turned to Lexi and tried to read her face, genuinely worried and concerned for her and how she was feeling. He hoped he hadn’t just crossed a line and it only just hit him that maybe he had. It hadn’t been his place to say anything to the attorney. He whispered to her again.
Aidan Caine: You okay? Do you want me to leave?
Lexi shook her head and reached for his hand again, squeezing it in reassurance.
Lexi: Mr.Rogers, you have no idea how much pleasure it would give me to do more than just sign a paper to end his life. Tell me something... do you have a daughter? a neice? even a cousin that’s a girl?
Mr.Rogers: My daughter is 16....
Lexi laughed a little.
Lexi: Hmm, just about the same age I was when I started having to endure that torture. Just imagine how you would feel if you found out that someone was doing stuff to your daughter, blackmailing her with potential harm to someone she loved dearly. I think I might just pay a visit to dear old dad. Which hospital did you say it was?
Mr.Rogers’s face was now the one that was white as a ghost.
Mr.Rogers: St.Michaels....
Lexi: I’ll be back and we can actually sign whatever you need me to sign in order to start the things needed to transfer it all over....and yeah, find out some more about that historical society or whatever. I don’t even want to go near that house again so I don’t care what’s inside it.
Mr.Rogers: Very well....
Lexi stood and glared at the man a minute before turning and leaving the room. Soon after Caine and Chrissy exited as well. Lexi had an unreadable expression on her face. Caine glanced at Chrissy and then walked to Lexi’s side. He was worried about her. In a situation like this it was easy to get emotional and when people got emotional they got sloppy, they made mistakes, and people could get hurt. He needed to make sure, for his sake and her’s, that she was ready for this.
Aidan Caine: Are you sure you want to do this? I’ll be there every step of the way if you want or I’ll just wait in the car if you’d prefer but are you going to be okay with this when we go home?
Lexi: I really wish that he’d just died on his own you know... maybe I wouldn’t have gotten any closure but at least I wouldn’t have this lying on my conscious. After I nearly killed him... i blackmailed him, said that if he ever said that I was the one to do it I’d make sure that he paid and he knew I could do it. He didn’t want to die then, so he kept my secret and also he paid for Chrissy to go to school too.
Chrissy: You said that was a scholarship from a private donor....
Chrissy looked furious at it.
Lexi: Technically it wasn’t a lie. Would you have taken it if I said Daniel gave me that money? Probably not. Please Chrissy, don’t start getting all high and mighty on me when you were ranting about how you wanted to just pull out all his tubes and wires and let him gasp for air.
Chrissy looked guiltily at the floor and didn’t say another word.
Lexi: I have to be the one to make this decision and until I do, they’ll be calling me everyday asking me if I will sign the papers. he’s using up resources that could be better used on someone else that can actually be cured or helped. I want to talk to him, even if he doesn’t hear me or see me....then maybe I’ll know that it’s the right decision to let him die.
Chrissy: Damn straight it’s the right decision...what he did to you Lex....
Lexi: I appreciate that you're angry Chrissy but in all fairness it was me he did that to, not you.
Chrissy: It could have been both of us...
Lexi: I know why he did that...so I wouldn’t tell anybody...so I wouldn’t fight him. He did those things to me not to punish you or me but to punish our mother for dying. I look like her and in his sick perverted mine, he was hurting her. I’d like to go and get something to eat and then... then we’ll go and see him... I need both of you right now more than I think I’ve ever needed anybody...
Chrissy looked worried.
Chrissy: I don’t want you to get too stressed out... your still early along and anything could happen....
She looked cautiously at Caine, hoping he wouldn’t be upset at lexi for telling her about the baby. Caine assumed that Lexi would tell her sister, considering how close the two of them were. It wasn’t lexi’s family he was worried about. Feeling more safe than he had in weeks because he knew he was far from Vegas and he could rely on the fact dirt sheet reporters wouldn’t be in a law firm, Caine stepped even closer to Lexi, studying her. Without even realizing he was doing it he’d put one hand on her stomach. He’d caught himself doing it a lot lately.
Aidan Caine: Chrissy’s right. You haven’t been taking very good care of yourself lately. You aren’t sleeping and you don’t eat enough. I know, I’ve been through this once before remember? If you feel you can do this, if you feel you need to do this for you then okay. But if you are or start feeling sick or anything you need to say something okay?
He knew she wasn’t the type to complain about anything or admit when she wasn’t well. So maybe he was coming across as overly protective but damnit, it might be his kid in there and he wanted to make sure him or her lived to be more than just a blob on an ultrasound picture. Not to mention Lexi was his girlfriend and he loved her and at this particular moment she was looking very pale and a little shaken. It made her look even more petite than she already was. Like she would break if he hugged her too tightly.
Lexi: I know. A lot has happened in such a short period of time and yes, I’m a little on edge right now learning that not only is he kind of awake but he’s been asking for me? I don’t know exactly how to take that or what he’s going to say to me. I mean even it’s just to say hey “fuck you Electra” before taking his last breath....
she closed her eyes for a second and Caine’s voice suddenly had a nervous lilt to it as he put one arm around her.
Aidan Caine: Baby? Let’s just do this tomorrow or something. We can get a hotel or go stay with your sister if she’s feeling generous. We’ll go get you something to eat, preferably with a lot of protein, and you can rest for the rest of the day and then tomorrow, when you’ve rested some more you can go see him if you still want to. Don’t worry about him and what he’s going to say to you. Just focus on you.
Chrissy: I think Adian’s right honey. I can see how tired you are. with everything that’s happened, I think you just need some down time. the man isn’t going anywhere. You guys are always welcome at my house.
She rolls her eyes at cain for the insinuation that they wouldn’t be invited back.
Chrissy: I’ll phone Terry and have him start something for supper. he was actually hoping you guys wouldn’t just dash off. He was excited to talk to someone about something other than the baby for a change and I think some guy time would be good for him, as long as you don’t mind entertaining him for a little while tonight Adian.
Lexi: Okay... you guys win. I know that I haven’t been taking care of myself like i should be but I will be going tomorrow... I don’t want to wait any longer than that.
Caine nodded and took her hand, glad she had agreed to rest some. He chose to stay close to her as he glanced over at Chrissy, commenting about how he’d be more than happy to keep Terry company while the man put on his “pretty apron” and made him dinner. It got a playful slap on the arm from Chrissy and normally he felt Lexi too would have had some kind of reaction but instead she was silent. Perhaps she was simply lost in her thoughts but he worried it was more than that. She really didn’t look like she felt well. Caine drove all three back to Chrissy and Terry’s place, he and Lexi having picked her up earlier before the meeting. When they arrived Terry and Caine greeted one another like best friends before Terry told them he’d already made sure the pool house was ready for them. After a few moments of discussion Caine and Lexi headed toward the French doors leading out to the pool area. He figured Lexi might be able to wear something of Chrissy’s if she wanted the next day but he had no idea what he’d wear. Terry was nowhere near his size. Luckily they’d thought to stop at a drug store for basic toiletries so they had those at least. As they started outside Caine put one hand on Lexi’s shoulder. She’d been so quiet that it was starting to scare him.
Aidan Caine: Lex, you’d tell me if something were wrong right?
Lexi smiled up at him.
Lexi: of course I would. I promised you in vegas that i would try not to hide anything from you anymore. It’s just more of the same things that I told you guys about... Part of me is still scared of that man even though I know there is no way he could possibly hurt me ever again. It really bothers me that he really could have the last word in and just wondering what those last words could be. I know I shouldn’t let it worry me and everytime I try to think about something else, it just comes right back to that thought that tomorrow I’m going to be responsible for killing a man that I’ve felt guilty about almost killing 12 years ago....
They reached the pool house and she rushed in, feeling the cold of the Chilly October air. She saw the bed and immediately sunk down into it and laid back on the pillows, feeling some of the tension of the day start to fade.Caine sat their few belongings down by the door and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge beside her and lovingly reaching up to move a stray blonde strand behind her ear and out of her face. Then he moved lower on the bed and pulled off her shoes, beginning to massage her feet as he spoke.
Aidan Caine: Maybe you shouldn’t think of it so much as being responsible for killing a man that has made you feel so much guilt for so long. The guy has a death sentence whether you are the one that pulls the plug or not Lexi. Maybe this could just be a way for you to get some closure. A final way of letting him know what you are thinking and have been thinking for a long time now. Either way baby, he’s going to die, and if you can’t physically do it, someone else will. You have nothing to feel guilty or bad about. Especially after what he did to you.
Lexi opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile.
Lexi: I know. and I’m not sorry for actually hurting him, what I feel guilty about was the fact that I had let my anger overwhelm me like that and despite what anybody does to me, I could never actually kill someone. I guess it’s not really killing him...it’s taking away the borrowed time he’s been living on. You know what... I’m just not going to think about it right now. I don’t have to until at least tomorrow when I talk to his doctors. Let’s talk about something happier... like maybe the fact that I’ve 12 weeks now... Dr.Louie is amazed.
Caine found himself grinning and he crawled further up on the bed so he was lying alongside her. He propped himself up on one elbow, resting his head on his closed fist and turning on his side so he was facing her, his blue eyes taking her in as his left hand once again gravitated to her stomach.
Aidan Caine: Is there ever going to be a time where he thinks we may be in the clear? Where the risk is less? When Lauren was pregnant with Gracie the doctor said he’d never seen a more textbook, perfect pregnancy so I guess this time I’m in uncharted waters. I was asleep for a lot longer than I thought at first too. I feel like I’ve missed a lot. You’ve seemed... and looked, different since I woke up. It’s kinda weird I guess. Missing the natural progression.
He was secretly terrified but he wasn’t going to tell her that. She didn’t need anything else to worry about right now. Still, every time she so much as sneezed he worried about her and the baby. He didn’t know how he would last six more months of this. Of just never knowing and always trying to prepare for the worst.
Lexi: I see the doctor every 2 weeks.... normally they would see me every month until I hit 32 weeks. he’s keep a careful eye on me because of all the problems I have with my plumbing but generally speaking, once you get over 12... the chances of miscarriage are almost none. I think he’s more just keeping tabs on me because I had such a hard pregnancy with Matthew but so far... this one has been a breeze in comparison...except for the being so damn tired all the time. the doctor doesn’t have many worries about whether or not I’ll make it at least 36 weeks. he’s pushing for a c-section though and I refuse. I didn’t need it with matty and he was a big baby.
She smiled a little.
Lexi: I don’t want to push Adian but you know that this is a two way street right and that if you want to talk about Lauren I don’t mind. If what we have lasts longer and I’m there to watch Gracie grow up I want to be able to tell her how much her father loved her mother because when you have talked about her I can see that. I'm not offended by it and I'm not jealous. But whatever you want to share with me is fine, but you don’t have to walk on eggshells. god knows I’ve probably bored you to tears with my talking about my past....
No sooner had she said Lauren’s name than she’d felt Aidan tense up beside her. He dropped his gaze, suddenly absolutely fascinated by the pattern on the soft downy comforter. He was quiet for several long minutes before finally speaking. He didn’t sound angry or upset in any way, just thoughtful and slightly... well she wasn’t exactly what that hint of something in his voice was...
Aidan Caine: Is there anything in particular you want to know about her or when she and I were together?
Lexi reached for his hand with hers and squeezed it.
Lexi: honey you can tell me whatever you want to tell me. I don’t know anything about her, except what I see in Gracie that’s obviously not you. You can start from the beginning if you're up to it or you can tell me to mind my business. I just wanted you to know that I’m there for you as much as you're there for me and well... although my past has a lot more weight to it, I know you have one too. Like you said, sometimes just talking about it helps you to feel better.... so with that... I leave it up to you and even if you never tell me anything other than her name I’ll respect it.
Inside Lexi was curious about the woman but again, she didn’t want Adian to feel as if she were prying into things he wasn’t ready to talk about... but it was important to her that he knew that she was understanding and that she wasn’t going to be one of these women that constantly threw it back in their boyfriend’s face about past relationships, no matter how they had ended. He still wouldn’t look at her for the longest time and when he finally did turn his face back up toward her’s she saw how his normally bright cerulean blue eyes had darkened almost to a stormy grey. His voice was very low as he began, faltering uncharacteristically after every couple of words.
Aidan Caine: I know you’d listen, I just... I don’t think you really know what you are asking. I want to tell you whatever you want to know but... well, I know you aren’t the kind of woman to ever use exes as weapons. I know I can talk to you. I just don’t know that I should... about certain things. I think they would definitely change the way you look at me if you knew some things. And right now... with things being a little more... strained I guess, I’m not sure the way you would see me would help us in any way. I think it would just hurt us. If any of that makes any kind of sense at all. Lauren... God I can’t believe how hard it still is to say her name... well, there was more to it than what I told everyone. I even had to go see someone for a while after which is why I can tell you that sometimes talking to someone makes things easier or at least more bearable... I just... I don’t want to push you away anymore by telling you truths you probably don’t really want to know. But if you want me to, I will tell you anything you want. I just want you to know that my having not told you more about... the past... has nothing to do with you or how I see you.
Lexi looked down to her stomach and back up to him before averting her own gaze.
Lexi: Gracie wasn’t planned either... was she?
Lexi then shook her head.
Lexi: Wait... no you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’ll take whatever you want to offer me and if you really don’t feel comfortable then that’s absolutely fine...but know that there isn’t anything that would make my feelings change or cause me to love you any less than I already do.
For a moment a shadow of disbelief crossed his face but then it was gone so quickly it was almost as if it had never been present in the first place. He hesitated and then lowered his eyes so he wasn’t looking at her directly anymore but at a long jagged white hint of a scar that wove in between his third and fourth fingers, down his palm and several inches past his wrist. It was a scar she’s noticed before but had written off as a battle wound. In their line of work it was a common occurrence. Her assumption was wrong.
Aidan Caine: Gracie was an accident. A terrible, wonderful, perfect little accident that both ruined and made everything. We didn’t want her. Technically we weren’t even a couple when we made her. In fact we’d only had sex once. Apparently... from the looks of things... I’m just a little too damn fertile huh?
His words had no playfulness to them, something she would have normally expected. His tone was simply blunt, to the point, and void of emotion as he continued.
Aidan Caine: We weren’t going to keep her. Got as far as filling out the paperwork in the clinic before we both said we just couldn’t do it. It was more our parents’ doing than anything. Everyone told us we were crazy and ruining our lives. Six months later we were parents. Two months after that she was dead. I proposed to her when she was about as far along as you are now. I’d loved her for a long time before we’d ever even gone on our first date. I actually met her when she began to date Josh believe it or not. A lot of you and I reminds me of she and I sometimes. In how quickly everything happened. And now... with this pregnancy being a little more dangerous for you and the baby... well, anyway... we did everything the wrong way. Had sex too soon, got pregnant too soon, moved in together too soon, we were going to get married too soon... and she died too soon.
Aidan always had the gift of gab. He could talk to just about anybody about anything. But for the first time since she’d known him Lexi saw Caine’s words falter as he said that final sentence and he didn’t look like he could carry on. It was as if all the air just left his lungs and she could see his shoulders visibly collapse as he looked away from her, rolling onto his back in the bed but not moving to get up.
Lexi frowned and moved so that she was looking down at him... again a guilty feeling washing over her, even though she’d told him that he didn’t have to, she now felt like she’d maybe pushed too much.
Lexi: If you thought I would lose respect for you because you guys almost went through with an abortion then I guess you’d have to lose a little more respect for me too. I almost did the same thing... after... well let’s just say that I didn’t think I could do it, knowing how Ryan could be... but Justin and Chrissy convinced me not to and I’m so glad I didn’t. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that although I know you can’t help but feel that way, especially with seeing how perfect she really is. I’m sure that if my mom had been alive when I’d met Ryan she’d had probably told me that I was ruining my life too. I can’t fault you for loving someone. I can’t fault you for doing what you thought was the right thing and it’s certainly not your fault that she died. You said congenital heart problem right? Something that no one could ever have guessed? Adian... it’s unfortunate that it seems that history is repeating itself right now but you know what... I'm actually happy. I mean I do care who the father is... of course I do but part of me doesn’t care cuz I know that no matter if this baby turns out to be Ryan’s or yours it’s not going to matter to you. You treat Matty like he could be your son and you have no idea how much that means to me or to him even. Like I said... i still love you, maybe even a little more now than I did 5 minutes ago because you just proved even more what it is that made me start liking you in the first place.
she smiled down at him and cupped his face, forcing him to look into her eyes.
Lexi: Do you hear me? You are still the same man you were a couple minutes ago, a couple hours ago... 12 weeks ago. Even the same man that said that I had no self respect and needed to eat more. I wanted to hate you then but part of me couldn’t get past how darn cute you were... plus... I wasn’t exactly free then either. But here’s the point of all that... like you told me a couple days ago I will not hold your past against you all I care about is the present and future.
She leaned down and kissed his forehead, brushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen, realizing now that since his extended stay in the hospital he probably was due for a trim...not that it bothered her at all. He gave her a light close-lipped smile, silently praying it the bitterness or cynicism he was feeling wasn’t conveyed in it. He couldn’t tell her now. His Lexi. His dear, sweet, kind, loving, and naive Lexi. She honestly thought that the only reason he was worried she would think less of him was because he and Lauren had almost had an abortion? He wished it had been that simple. He’d always felt guilty for it yes but there was so much more to it than just that. He couldn’t tell her now though. She was suddenly looking more content than he’d seen her look in days. He couldn’t tell her the rest of the truth now. He couldn’t tell her that Lauren’s death hadn’t been as simple as he’d made it out to be and that yes, he really could blame himself for it, for reasons she didn’t even know. It was also not the only blood that had stained his hands back then. But lying in the bed, looking into her trusting, caring eyes he didn’t want to tell her about any of that. He glanced once more at the long silvery scar that ran from between his two fingers halfway to his elbow. He wore the scars of that day on both the inside and the outside, and nothing would change that or make them go away. She still thought he was the same man. She still loved him and she’d agreed that the past didn’t matter. He couldn’t risk changing her opinion. She’d said she was happy and that was all that mattered to him. And she was right, even if this kid turned out to be Ryan’s it had come to not even matter to Aidan. It would hurt. It would be another mental hurdle. But it ultimately would not matter to him one bit. Because lying there, in that bed with his girlfriend, he couldn’t imagine being happier anywhere else. So he kept quiet and let her assume she’d gotten to the core of his problems while the truth was she’d barely scraped the surface. As she played with his longer than normal hair he pulled her closer to him, wrapping both his arms around her and gently pulled her face to his in a passionate kiss unlike any they had shared since he’d woken up. It was the kind of kiss that took your breath away and made you feel like such a small piece of a big picture. He couldn't give her up. He couldn't risk losing her. So he simply forced another smile on his face and kissed her again, whispering softly into her ear the only three words he could honestly say in the moment.
Aidan Caine: I love you.