Post by ethancage on Oct 31, 2012 21:45:00 GMT -5
((OOC Note: Jordan's parents played by actors. Also, if Jordan doesn't put up another, then you can ex-nay this one. Also so had stop coding, It IS Halloween night after all. Enjoy your night))
-Press Start-
Halloween Night
The camera opens up on Ash Soulsfate, who is dressed in something fairly similar to Jason Storm's ring attire. He's also wearing a, "Hello, My Name Is.." badge and in sharpee is written in sharpee is the name Jordan Storm. And Poe is dressed as Michelle Pfiefer Catwoman, a very tight vinyl suit, complete with stitching. The camera comes in on her as she is bending over, it's fixed on her profile shape as she pulls herself up, she moans as she does this and then she turns towards the camera and meows, mimicking the exact way Pfiefer did in Batman Returns. Ash as Jordan Storm smirks. Behind Ash is an airport full of people, who look to be ...Australian..not to look at them of course...but the Welcome to Australia sign gives us a big clue. But why is Ash in Australia, so close to his match where he must be in Vegas. That's what we are here to find out...mates. Ash rises from his seat, he picks out a wedgie and shakes his head.
Ash: How does he wear this ridiculous shit?
Poe: A better question is why?
Ash: Perhaps the snugness of how it cradles the balls.
Poe: Yes my love, perhaps if he had them, that would be the reason.
Ash: Touch'e my love....touch'e.
Poe: Why is it we are here again.
Ash: Well, Poe, I've been here for what, six hours now?
Poe: Yeah, the land down under should really stay this way.
Ash: Beautiful in scenery?
Poe: No...down under.
Ash: Well, me being dressed like this moron has not gotten me the attention that he says he gets.
Poe: Well, he's been lying about everything else. Maybe he's just a dumb shit.
Ash: Well that's neither here nor there my darling.
Poe: Well, he joined the MPW to gain status.
Ash: No, why would he do that, he's held a world championship for 730 straight days.
Poe: It must be a weiner eating contest, have you seen his mouth?
Ash: Straight men don't pay attention to men's mouths.
Poe: The stretch marks around his mouth are a great indication that he's a great weiner eater.
Ash: Now, now we don't want the GLAAD people on us again.
Poe: Hey, I'm talkin' Oscar Meyer, not Brokeback....but now that you mention it-
Ash: Come on.
Poe: Jordan Storm, and that ponytail, the fact that he wears neon. Sometimes, I think I could wear his silly little outfits.
Ash: Let's change the subject, he's queer, but he's not gay.
Poe: I don't follow.
Ash: Maybe he's in the closet.
Poe: Yeah, but his closet is full of his outfits.
Ash: I guess there's just no stickin' up for the poor kid.
Poe: "Stickin' up" is a bad choice of words don't you think?
Ash laughs.
Ash: I still feel ridiculous wearing this.
Poe: Well, let us get this over with before you get Storm bashed.
Ash: Right.
Ash begins to walk through the airport and still no one recognizes him or even that he's in costume.
Voice: Oy, ain't ya Ash Soulsfate?
Ash: Damn it...no, I'm Jordan Storm.
Ash turns around.
Ash: Don't you see, I'm not afraid of Ash.
Man: Well if you're not afraid to wear that in public, I bet you're not really afraid of anything.
Ash: I was a world champion for 730 days!
Man: That's convenient to have it end on such a round number like that. I mean two years to the date.
Ash: Imagine being in a company where I, Jordan Storm would be a world champion for two years.
Poe: I've heard that North Korea use footage of his matches as torture.
Ash: Well it sure ain't his promos, they don't last long enough. They bring a whole new meaning to irrelevance.
Man: With her being Catwoman, why weren't you Batman?
Ash: Do you normally come up to strangers and start babbling?
Man: Hey, I have a.d.d and your little outfit has me mesmerized.
Ash backs off.
Ash: I'm not...into men.
Man: No, like that. I'm just wondering why cool, collected, calm Ash Soulsfate is wearing such a lame outfit.
Ash: It's a costume. I wanted to know what it'd feel like to be a loser once in my life.
Man: Well anyone that dresses like that must be a loser.
Ash: Well this Jordan Storm is from here, Australia.Melbourne, Victoria actually.
Man: Oy, no wonder he left mate, we probably booted him from 'ere.
Ash: Ouch.
Man: Anyway, good luck walking around 'ere in that.
Ash: Thanks?
Man: No, thank you...I needed a good laugh.
The man pats Ash on the pat still laughing. Ash shakes his head.
Ash: How does he do it? He wants to be the X-Core Champion?
Poe: What you have to ask yourself Ash, is how would Jordan Storm hold up against Chicken, Brandon Nytrus, Kuk Killswitch and Jason X?
Ash: Well, clearly it would've been a lot harder on Jason, because all those guys are beneath me, but against Jordan Storm, he wouldn't have even been a factor.
Poe: Let's get out there and see who knows Jordan Storm.
Ash: I don't see why.
Poe: Now, come on, you can be a loser for a little bit longer.
Ash: I guess I should, I'm never going to be one again. I guess I should take in the feeling so that I know what it's like and never want to be one again.
Ash and Poe head out of the double doors and the sun hits them in the face. A busy airport, Ash finds himself within a crowd of people, no one caring. Ash makes his way to a woman.
Ash: Excuse me lady.
Woman: What do you want?
Ash: I've been the world champion for 730 days in wrestling, would you go out with me?
Woman: If I had a drink in my hand, I'd throw it at you....glass and all.
Ash: A simple no would suffice. I'm the Thunder from Down UNDER!
Woman: What does that mean?
Ash: You know, I really don't know, it's sort of something I say to distinguish me from the other wrestlers in MPW.
Woman: And that's the best you've come up with?
Ash: Well, my name is Jordan Storm and I'm clearly a virgin.
Woman: Well, as long as you wear that, you'll always be.
Ash: Being a champion of some nonexistent company for two years won't help?
Woman: Sadly no.
Ash: I'll have to look into this.
As the woman walks away annoyed, Ash throws a boomerang at the back of her head.
Woman: OW!
The woman turns around to see Ash pointing at a taxi driver. The woman drops her purse and begins to pounce on the driver and choke him.
Poe: Was that necessary?
Ash smirks.
Ash: No but I've always had a thing for Batarangs, wanted to see what it felt like.
Poe: Where did you get a boomerang?
Ash: Gift shop.
Poe nods.
Poe: Oh.
Ash: Shall we?
Ash extends his arm out to Poe.
Poe: We shall.
Ash and Poe walk off camera.
Scene 2: The Zoo...or in Australia...Outdoors
The camera comes in on Ash and Poe walking through a zoo, Ash still in the same costume as is Poe. Just incase you need a reference, look below.
Yummy right?
Moving along, as Ash and Poe make their way, they see a koala bear in the tree.
Ash: Yo, Koala, I'm Jordan Storm and I've been a champion for two years!
The kaola doesn't budge.
Ash: Honey, the koala isn't impressed.
Poe: Perhaps he doesn't watch wrestling.
Ash: Yeah. I'm Jordan Storm.
The camera stays on Ash, who now makes an astonished face.
Ash: Did that koala just give me the finger?
Poe: Perhaps Jordan Storm is actually from Australia, he inspires the same response from you all the time.
Ash continues on through a path, when he comes up to a kangaroo behind a glass wall.
Ash: Hey kangaroo....I'm Jorda-
The kangaroo begins to hop and hit his feet against the glass...and hard too.
Poe: He seems annoyed.
Ash: I give the fan's their money's worth!
Ash does the Jordan Storm thumbs at himself thing. And the kangaroo hits the glass until it cracks.
Poe: We should probably go.
Ash: I concur.
Ash and Poe rush off camera.
Scene 3: The Son No One Wanted...No One
Ash and Poe come to the door of a house in a rental tiny car, white and looks like it's going to go out, the next time they turn the ignition.
Poe: And you found this house how?
Ash: Madd Katt's secretary.
Poe: Excuse me?
Ash: Hey, she did all the work, I just sat there.
Poe: You're not making things better for yourself.
Ash laughs.
Ash: My bad.
Poe: We're going to talk about this when we get home.
Ash: Maybe I better stay as Jordan Storm.
Poe: You want to be a man with no title, women or respect for himself?
Ash: Damn.
Poe: Let's go visit mommy.
Ash and Poe get out of the car and begin to walk towards the front door. Ash rings the door bell.
Ash: Trick or treat.
Female Voice from inside: What the hell? That sounded like a full grown man.
Ash: Well...sort of.
The woman opens the door, she has the exact ponytail that Jordan Storm has.
Poe: I see which parent Jordan decided to take after.
Ash: Hello ma'am.
Mom: Since when do you call your mother ma'am.
Ash looks at Poe.
Poe: Just go with it.
Poe shrugs.
Ash: 'ello mom.
Mom: You going to America, you must've gained an American accent.
Ash: Sure. Are you glad I'm back?
Mom: Honestly when you told of that ridiculous dream of being a wrestler, I was glad to see you leave.
Ash: But I became one.
Mom: Son, you lost every match you were ever in, here at home.
Ash: I'm going against a man for the X-Core Championship tomorrow.
Mom: Is the other man in a wheelchair?
Ash: No.
Mom: Then why don't you save yourself the embarassment and stay home. Your father has some chores for you to do.
Ash: I was a champion for two years.
Mom: I know honey, I have the picture.
Poe: Jesus Christ, I was right.
Ash: What have I missed while I was gone?
Mom: Your herpe subscriptions been here for years, have you been treating it. It really is something you should've told this woman in black you seem to be with. Aren't you going to introduce?
Poe: Lightning.
Mom: If you two get married, your name would be Lightning Storm, that sounds like a match made in weather heaven. I'm so glad to tell your father you like women, I guess he lost that pool at work. And gladly I'm sure.
Ash laughs.
Ash: This is bad. My father bet on me being gay?
Mom: He almost bet the house on it, luckily he didn't. He was so sure too.
Ash: I suppose I should get going.
Mom: You don't want to see your old room?
Ash: No thanks!
Poe: Yes Mrs. Storm, I would love to see Jordan's old room.
Mom: Come on then.
The three get up and head to the room, the mother turns on the light and Ash's eyes grow big seeing the room.
Ash: This is so bad.
Poe laughs.
Poe: What the hell man?
Mom: You can see why your father wanted to bet the house. You so adored the color pink.
Ash: Why is there so much pink though?
Mom: You could never get enough weenies and pink.
Ash: I'm facing this man this week. I don't think I want to be in the ring with him.
Mom: With who?
Ash: Nevermind, mom I have to leave.
Mom: Again?
Ash: That's right.
Mom: But your father isn't home from work yet. I'm sure he'd like to see you, you've been such a stranger for so many years.
Poe: He's the Thunder from Down Under.
Mom: You grew up, you used to be the failur'a from Australia.
Ash: Was I always a loser?
Mom: You said, that when you left, you would become a whole new person, bury your past as if it never happened. That you would tell grand stories of your time here at home. And that no one would ever talk down to you again. Also, you said that would stop playing with your imaginery friend Velvet Diamond.
Poe: His girlfriend?
Mom: Girlfriend, it was Jordan Storm in a dress. Do you remember that Jordy, when you were on your tip toes dancing to Debbie Gibson?
Ash is stunned silent.
Poe: He's just stunned by all the memories. I'll have you know that Velvet Diamond is a real girl now.
Mom: Ah yes, the prostitute he paid to play his girlfriend, he said it reminded him of the movie Pretty Woman, cleaning up a prostitute to do honest work.
Poe: Oh my god, even I'm beginning to feel bad.
Mom: But that's all over with now, you're home Jordy. Now you have all that business with touching boys out of the way, it's out of your system.
Poe: Mrs. Storm, we really have to be going, if we want to settle into our new home here in...Australia.
Mom: Okay dearie, I'll tell father you're here to stay. Hey, if you come back in a few hours, I'll make a pile of hot dogs for you.
Ash: That'd be swell.
The mother's smile very genuine making this whole scene fairly scary that this was someone's actual life. Ash and Poe step outside and right away, once outside, Ash takes down the straps and makes his way to the sidewalk. Ash looks at the ugly car and takes his hair out of the pony tail and lets it down and dawns once again, the smirk you've come to know. Poe whistles and down comes a limo, that pushes the rental out of the way, the door swings open to reveal Ash's agent Bobby Ball.
Bobby: Is this nonsense over?
Ash: Yeah, I'm not liking what I found.
Ash and Poe get in.
Bobby: Driver...airport.
The limo takes off.
The Mo' Fucin' Promo
Ash is sitting on a ladder, yes the same ladder he climbed during the X-Core title match. Ash as it would seem has kept it as a souvenir on the top four rungs it reads, Kuk Killswitch, Jason X, Brandon Nytrus and Chicken. Ash sits there at the top, but his title is not where it should be...over his shoulder, no, it's hanging above him the way it was in the King of the Mountain match, and Ash very much is that.
Ash: It would seem that to get this title in the first place, that I would have to go through hell on earth to get it, however to be a contender for it, all you have to do is beat up some punk rock chick who could give a shit about her career. Jordan, you stand there and act like you deserve a title shot. You stand there and act like you're the underdog and you've been striving for this opportunity and finally have your chance to shine. Well little star, you won't be doing anything but collecting your teeth and what's left of your pride when this is all over. I'm the man to beat here in this company, and though I'm not holding the most prestigious title, I am holding thee most dangerous one. And that makes me a very dangerous man, but you already knew that. After what I've done to Frost, Primal, Brooklyn and the people named on this ladder, you already knew that didn't you?
Ash: I hope you enjoyed our little visit to Australia, I know I did. I got to find out a lot about you and how you are a pathetic liar. I also found out things I never wanted to know about you. Scary shit.
Ash: What's scarier is that you want to represent the X-Core division as it's champion. Look at you in your promo, breathing heavy, not believing the situation you're in. You've been telling everyone you were a champ for two years yet you're panting at the thought of being in a title shot with me. Now I know I'm a bad ass, but at least show a little courage, make it the least bit interesting. You're already walking in beaten but you should at least not have it written on your face.
Ash: And you know what's really sad, you're showing people a title from a company that is dead. And for some reason, that's supposed to mean something to people...and you know what, it does, it means that you were a champion of that place for two years and it went out of business because you as a star drained all their money, no one had interest in you, no matter how much they promoted you. Each month was just as lackluster as the last month, and you know what's sad, you don't even fuckin' get it. You're carrying around the straw that broke the camel's back like it's an achievement, when it is a reminder to the world why you shouldn't be the champion of anything. You're a hack you dumbshit, get that into your head. But I must admit, it's going to be far more fun to pound it into your head.
Ash: You're talking about how when you were champion the attendence grew?....Oh that's right, management must've hated all the money you were bringing them in and must've shut down due to the annoyance. Wow, you're an idiot, maybe they didn't shut down. Maybe they fired you just to get you to leave and get a real chance at a successful company. You are like the lard in a hamburger, you look gross, and that company spit you out because you had no worth.
Ash: It's funny that you're talking about losing a title to people who don't deserve it. Because that's what every single person is thinking about this match. They are begging me to be me and just whip the shit out of you. They are begging me to stand up to you and stomp you down until you realize that you are not worthy of being in a title match and more than that you sloppy ass psuedo wrestler, you're not even fit to be in the ring with me. See to me, you're not some young punk, have you seen yourself in a mirror pal, you look older than me. You are a moron pretending to be a star. Good thing it's Halloween, because this is the one day you can pretend to be whatever you want. But there's one thing you can't pretend to be, and that's a winner. Because within that winner costume lies a big fuckin' loser who will never amount to anything. A man that is shunned by his family and country, a man that doesn't realize that MPW in his case is doing him the favor by picking up scraps. Being that this company went down to one show, doesn't realize that right now, there is someone more deserving than him to be here for a title shot or to be within the confines of this company. If this were Hollywood, I would suspect that you are someone's nephew, a man that didn't earn his way here, he just knew someone who blew someone to get here. That is of course, if you weren't doing the blowing yourself. Maybe you were the only man to make "Madd" Katt..."Happy" Katt.
Ash: But that's neither here nor there.
Ash leans in.
Ash: Well motherfucker, if you tell the world I don't scare you, you better open your eyes because I damn well better scare you. I'm the heartless one, the one that will not give a shit if you died on the way to the arena. I'd shrug and enjoy my day off, and I'd spit on your grave just so you'd know I mean nothing but disrespect. I'd write my name in piss on your head stone, because that's what your career here will amount to.
Ash: You tell the world that this is not about being the best, well bitchtits, it actually is. I don't believe in luck, I believe in talent and ring saavy and those are two things you clearly don't have. So before you try to convince the world that a company failed because you weren't here, ask yourself this, what the hell have you done for this company....answer, not a god damned thing. I am the rightful champion and it hangs above me because I am the king of the mountain. You are but the first of many victims to attempt to take it from me, you will be the first body laid to waste, that's all there is for you here dear boy, pain, anguish and resentment towards me for having the charisma that you'll never have, for being the ring general that you'll never be. I hope you enjoy that fact, because I will revel in it.
Ash: You may be ready to fight with everything you've got, but what will you do when you find out that it's simply not enough. I hope you go out like Whitney and we find you in a tub. And then you're poor drunk mother can sing I will always love you while the MPW moves on without so much as a ripple.
Ash: You hope I'm ready for the big fight...I'll let you know when I've found it, 'cause pal, you ain't it. You're not even the parceli of a meal, you're that wrapper that they put on the toothpick, what the hell is that for? It's the same sense people have, after your matches.
Ash: Why do I say that, well you had Christian Carter, the Sin City Champion with you in a tag match and lost. How the hell does that happen. Sure Carter was pinned and you weren't but one has to ask, where were you, oh that's right, the man ready for the big fight was in his corner too scared to take on Primal and Andrews. Good job kid.
Ash: Then in your second match, you win against the nonexistent Calista Vandal, congrats kid. And then, against Jason X, you get hit with the X-Driver II and get pinned. And then you had a week off, so in reality, there has only been one match you've won and it was for a title shot. You couldn't beat one of the men I've beaten at After Shock and you lose against Primal, whom I've beaten and Ian Andrews who stands absolutely no shot at even comparing to me. So is that why you brought up this ridiculous title business, because you have nothing to gloat about here in MPW. Do you think that in my first defense, that would be your second win here in the MPW. Is that what you THINK?!
Ash laughs.
Ash: Truth is, I'm going to bury you faster than a miner in the midwest. And only you won't be remembered, the world will be relieved by your absense...and a sigh of relief of never having to hear from you again. All this week, they tell me a storm's coming.....and I say yes it is coming.....for me to put it out of his misery.
Ash looks up at the X-Core Championship and thinks of Jordan's chances of winning it and simply shakes his head. And the camera goes to....
-Black-
-Press Start-
Halloween Night
The camera opens up on Ash Soulsfate, who is dressed in something fairly similar to Jason Storm's ring attire. He's also wearing a, "Hello, My Name Is.." badge and in sharpee is written in sharpee is the name Jordan Storm. And Poe is dressed as Michelle Pfiefer Catwoman, a very tight vinyl suit, complete with stitching. The camera comes in on her as she is bending over, it's fixed on her profile shape as she pulls herself up, she moans as she does this and then she turns towards the camera and meows, mimicking the exact way Pfiefer did in Batman Returns. Ash as Jordan Storm smirks. Behind Ash is an airport full of people, who look to be ...Australian..not to look at them of course...but the Welcome to Australia sign gives us a big clue. But why is Ash in Australia, so close to his match where he must be in Vegas. That's what we are here to find out...mates. Ash rises from his seat, he picks out a wedgie and shakes his head.
Ash: How does he wear this ridiculous shit?
Poe: A better question is why?
Ash: Perhaps the snugness of how it cradles the balls.
Poe: Yes my love, perhaps if he had them, that would be the reason.
Ash: Touch'e my love....touch'e.
Poe: Why is it we are here again.
Ash: Well, Poe, I've been here for what, six hours now?
Poe: Yeah, the land down under should really stay this way.
Ash: Beautiful in scenery?
Poe: No...down under.
Ash: Well, me being dressed like this moron has not gotten me the attention that he says he gets.
Poe: Well, he's been lying about everything else. Maybe he's just a dumb shit.
Ash: Well that's neither here nor there my darling.
Poe: Well, he joined the MPW to gain status.
Ash: No, why would he do that, he's held a world championship for 730 straight days.
Poe: It must be a weiner eating contest, have you seen his mouth?
Ash: Straight men don't pay attention to men's mouths.
Poe: The stretch marks around his mouth are a great indication that he's a great weiner eater.
Ash: Now, now we don't want the GLAAD people on us again.
Poe: Hey, I'm talkin' Oscar Meyer, not Brokeback....but now that you mention it-
Ash: Come on.
Poe: Jordan Storm, and that ponytail, the fact that he wears neon. Sometimes, I think I could wear his silly little outfits.
Ash: Let's change the subject, he's queer, but he's not gay.
Poe: I don't follow.
Ash: Maybe he's in the closet.
Poe: Yeah, but his closet is full of his outfits.
Ash: I guess there's just no stickin' up for the poor kid.
Poe: "Stickin' up" is a bad choice of words don't you think?
Ash laughs.
Ash: I still feel ridiculous wearing this.
Poe: Well, let us get this over with before you get Storm bashed.
Ash: Right.
Ash begins to walk through the airport and still no one recognizes him or even that he's in costume.
Voice: Oy, ain't ya Ash Soulsfate?
Ash: Damn it...no, I'm Jordan Storm.
Ash turns around.
Ash: Don't you see, I'm not afraid of Ash.
Man: Well if you're not afraid to wear that in public, I bet you're not really afraid of anything.
Ash: I was a world champion for 730 days!
Man: That's convenient to have it end on such a round number like that. I mean two years to the date.
Ash: Imagine being in a company where I, Jordan Storm would be a world champion for two years.
Poe: I've heard that North Korea use footage of his matches as torture.
Ash: Well it sure ain't his promos, they don't last long enough. They bring a whole new meaning to irrelevance.
Man: With her being Catwoman, why weren't you Batman?
Ash: Do you normally come up to strangers and start babbling?
Man: Hey, I have a.d.d and your little outfit has me mesmerized.
Ash backs off.
Ash: I'm not...into men.
Man: No, like that. I'm just wondering why cool, collected, calm Ash Soulsfate is wearing such a lame outfit.
Ash: It's a costume. I wanted to know what it'd feel like to be a loser once in my life.
Man: Well anyone that dresses like that must be a loser.
Ash: Well this Jordan Storm is from here, Australia.Melbourne, Victoria actually.
Man: Oy, no wonder he left mate, we probably booted him from 'ere.
Ash: Ouch.
Man: Anyway, good luck walking around 'ere in that.
Ash: Thanks?
Man: No, thank you...I needed a good laugh.
The man pats Ash on the pat still laughing. Ash shakes his head.
Ash: How does he do it? He wants to be the X-Core Champion?
Poe: What you have to ask yourself Ash, is how would Jordan Storm hold up against Chicken, Brandon Nytrus, Kuk Killswitch and Jason X?
Ash: Well, clearly it would've been a lot harder on Jason, because all those guys are beneath me, but against Jordan Storm, he wouldn't have even been a factor.
Poe: Let's get out there and see who knows Jordan Storm.
Ash: I don't see why.
Poe: Now, come on, you can be a loser for a little bit longer.
Ash: I guess I should, I'm never going to be one again. I guess I should take in the feeling so that I know what it's like and never want to be one again.
Ash and Poe head out of the double doors and the sun hits them in the face. A busy airport, Ash finds himself within a crowd of people, no one caring. Ash makes his way to a woman.
Ash: Excuse me lady.
Woman: What do you want?
Ash: I've been the world champion for 730 days in wrestling, would you go out with me?
Woman: If I had a drink in my hand, I'd throw it at you....glass and all.
Ash: A simple no would suffice. I'm the Thunder from Down UNDER!
Woman: What does that mean?
Ash: You know, I really don't know, it's sort of something I say to distinguish me from the other wrestlers in MPW.
Woman: And that's the best you've come up with?
Ash: Well, my name is Jordan Storm and I'm clearly a virgin.
Woman: Well, as long as you wear that, you'll always be.
Ash: Being a champion of some nonexistent company for two years won't help?
Woman: Sadly no.
Ash: I'll have to look into this.
As the woman walks away annoyed, Ash throws a boomerang at the back of her head.
Woman: OW!
The woman turns around to see Ash pointing at a taxi driver. The woman drops her purse and begins to pounce on the driver and choke him.
Poe: Was that necessary?
Ash smirks.
Ash: No but I've always had a thing for Batarangs, wanted to see what it felt like.
Poe: Where did you get a boomerang?
Ash: Gift shop.
Poe nods.
Poe: Oh.
Ash: Shall we?
Ash extends his arm out to Poe.
Poe: We shall.
Ash and Poe walk off camera.
Scene 2: The Zoo...or in Australia...Outdoors
The camera comes in on Ash and Poe walking through a zoo, Ash still in the same costume as is Poe. Just incase you need a reference, look below.
Yummy right?
Moving along, as Ash and Poe make their way, they see a koala bear in the tree.
Ash: Yo, Koala, I'm Jordan Storm and I've been a champion for two years!
The kaola doesn't budge.
Ash: Honey, the koala isn't impressed.
Poe: Perhaps he doesn't watch wrestling.
Ash: Yeah. I'm Jordan Storm.
The camera stays on Ash, who now makes an astonished face.
Ash: Did that koala just give me the finger?
Poe: Perhaps Jordan Storm is actually from Australia, he inspires the same response from you all the time.
Ash continues on through a path, when he comes up to a kangaroo behind a glass wall.
Ash: Hey kangaroo....I'm Jorda-
The kangaroo begins to hop and hit his feet against the glass...and hard too.
Poe: He seems annoyed.
Ash: I give the fan's their money's worth!
Ash does the Jordan Storm thumbs at himself thing. And the kangaroo hits the glass until it cracks.
Poe: We should probably go.
Ash: I concur.
Ash and Poe rush off camera.
Scene 3: The Son No One Wanted...No One
Ash and Poe come to the door of a house in a rental tiny car, white and looks like it's going to go out, the next time they turn the ignition.
Poe: And you found this house how?
Ash: Madd Katt's secretary.
Poe: Excuse me?
Ash: Hey, she did all the work, I just sat there.
Poe: You're not making things better for yourself.
Ash laughs.
Ash: My bad.
Poe: We're going to talk about this when we get home.
Ash: Maybe I better stay as Jordan Storm.
Poe: You want to be a man with no title, women or respect for himself?
Ash: Damn.
Poe: Let's go visit mommy.
Ash and Poe get out of the car and begin to walk towards the front door. Ash rings the door bell.
Ash: Trick or treat.
Female Voice from inside: What the hell? That sounded like a full grown man.
Ash: Well...sort of.
The woman opens the door, she has the exact ponytail that Jordan Storm has.
Poe: I see which parent Jordan decided to take after.
Ash: Hello ma'am.
Mom: Since when do you call your mother ma'am.
Ash looks at Poe.
Poe: Just go with it.
Poe shrugs.
Ash: 'ello mom.
Mom: You going to America, you must've gained an American accent.
Ash: Sure. Are you glad I'm back?
Mom: Honestly when you told of that ridiculous dream of being a wrestler, I was glad to see you leave.
Ash: But I became one.
Mom: Son, you lost every match you were ever in, here at home.
Ash: I'm going against a man for the X-Core Championship tomorrow.
Mom: Is the other man in a wheelchair?
Ash: No.
Mom: Then why don't you save yourself the embarassment and stay home. Your father has some chores for you to do.
Ash: I was a champion for two years.
Mom: I know honey, I have the picture.
Poe: Jesus Christ, I was right.
Ash: What have I missed while I was gone?
Mom: Your herpe subscriptions been here for years, have you been treating it. It really is something you should've told this woman in black you seem to be with. Aren't you going to introduce?
Poe: Lightning.
Mom: If you two get married, your name would be Lightning Storm, that sounds like a match made in weather heaven. I'm so glad to tell your father you like women, I guess he lost that pool at work. And gladly I'm sure.
Ash laughs.
Ash: This is bad. My father bet on me being gay?
Mom: He almost bet the house on it, luckily he didn't. He was so sure too.
Ash: I suppose I should get going.
Mom: You don't want to see your old room?
Ash: No thanks!
Poe: Yes Mrs. Storm, I would love to see Jordan's old room.
Mom: Come on then.
The three get up and head to the room, the mother turns on the light and Ash's eyes grow big seeing the room.
Ash: This is so bad.
Poe laughs.
Poe: What the hell man?
Mom: You can see why your father wanted to bet the house. You so adored the color pink.
Ash: Why is there so much pink though?
Mom: You could never get enough weenies and pink.
Ash: I'm facing this man this week. I don't think I want to be in the ring with him.
Mom: With who?
Ash: Nevermind, mom I have to leave.
Mom: Again?
Ash: That's right.
Mom: But your father isn't home from work yet. I'm sure he'd like to see you, you've been such a stranger for so many years.
Poe: He's the Thunder from Down Under.
Mom: You grew up, you used to be the failur'a from Australia.
Ash: Was I always a loser?
Mom: You said, that when you left, you would become a whole new person, bury your past as if it never happened. That you would tell grand stories of your time here at home. And that no one would ever talk down to you again. Also, you said that would stop playing with your imaginery friend Velvet Diamond.
Poe: His girlfriend?
Mom: Girlfriend, it was Jordan Storm in a dress. Do you remember that Jordy, when you were on your tip toes dancing to Debbie Gibson?
Ash is stunned silent.
Poe: He's just stunned by all the memories. I'll have you know that Velvet Diamond is a real girl now.
Mom: Ah yes, the prostitute he paid to play his girlfriend, he said it reminded him of the movie Pretty Woman, cleaning up a prostitute to do honest work.
Poe: Oh my god, even I'm beginning to feel bad.
Mom: But that's all over with now, you're home Jordy. Now you have all that business with touching boys out of the way, it's out of your system.
Poe: Mrs. Storm, we really have to be going, if we want to settle into our new home here in...Australia.
Mom: Okay dearie, I'll tell father you're here to stay. Hey, if you come back in a few hours, I'll make a pile of hot dogs for you.
Ash: That'd be swell.
The mother's smile very genuine making this whole scene fairly scary that this was someone's actual life. Ash and Poe step outside and right away, once outside, Ash takes down the straps and makes his way to the sidewalk. Ash looks at the ugly car and takes his hair out of the pony tail and lets it down and dawns once again, the smirk you've come to know. Poe whistles and down comes a limo, that pushes the rental out of the way, the door swings open to reveal Ash's agent Bobby Ball.
Bobby: Is this nonsense over?
Ash: Yeah, I'm not liking what I found.
Ash and Poe get in.
Bobby: Driver...airport.
The limo takes off.
The Mo' Fucin' Promo
Ash is sitting on a ladder, yes the same ladder he climbed during the X-Core title match. Ash as it would seem has kept it as a souvenir on the top four rungs it reads, Kuk Killswitch, Jason X, Brandon Nytrus and Chicken. Ash sits there at the top, but his title is not where it should be...over his shoulder, no, it's hanging above him the way it was in the King of the Mountain match, and Ash very much is that.
Ash: It would seem that to get this title in the first place, that I would have to go through hell on earth to get it, however to be a contender for it, all you have to do is beat up some punk rock chick who could give a shit about her career. Jordan, you stand there and act like you deserve a title shot. You stand there and act like you're the underdog and you've been striving for this opportunity and finally have your chance to shine. Well little star, you won't be doing anything but collecting your teeth and what's left of your pride when this is all over. I'm the man to beat here in this company, and though I'm not holding the most prestigious title, I am holding thee most dangerous one. And that makes me a very dangerous man, but you already knew that. After what I've done to Frost, Primal, Brooklyn and the people named on this ladder, you already knew that didn't you?
Ash: I hope you enjoyed our little visit to Australia, I know I did. I got to find out a lot about you and how you are a pathetic liar. I also found out things I never wanted to know about you. Scary shit.
Ash: What's scarier is that you want to represent the X-Core division as it's champion. Look at you in your promo, breathing heavy, not believing the situation you're in. You've been telling everyone you were a champ for two years yet you're panting at the thought of being in a title shot with me. Now I know I'm a bad ass, but at least show a little courage, make it the least bit interesting. You're already walking in beaten but you should at least not have it written on your face.
Ash: And you know what's really sad, you're showing people a title from a company that is dead. And for some reason, that's supposed to mean something to people...and you know what, it does, it means that you were a champion of that place for two years and it went out of business because you as a star drained all their money, no one had interest in you, no matter how much they promoted you. Each month was just as lackluster as the last month, and you know what's sad, you don't even fuckin' get it. You're carrying around the straw that broke the camel's back like it's an achievement, when it is a reminder to the world why you shouldn't be the champion of anything. You're a hack you dumbshit, get that into your head. But I must admit, it's going to be far more fun to pound it into your head.
Ash: You're talking about how when you were champion the attendence grew?....Oh that's right, management must've hated all the money you were bringing them in and must've shut down due to the annoyance. Wow, you're an idiot, maybe they didn't shut down. Maybe they fired you just to get you to leave and get a real chance at a successful company. You are like the lard in a hamburger, you look gross, and that company spit you out because you had no worth.
Ash: It's funny that you're talking about losing a title to people who don't deserve it. Because that's what every single person is thinking about this match. They are begging me to be me and just whip the shit out of you. They are begging me to stand up to you and stomp you down until you realize that you are not worthy of being in a title match and more than that you sloppy ass psuedo wrestler, you're not even fit to be in the ring with me. See to me, you're not some young punk, have you seen yourself in a mirror pal, you look older than me. You are a moron pretending to be a star. Good thing it's Halloween, because this is the one day you can pretend to be whatever you want. But there's one thing you can't pretend to be, and that's a winner. Because within that winner costume lies a big fuckin' loser who will never amount to anything. A man that is shunned by his family and country, a man that doesn't realize that MPW in his case is doing him the favor by picking up scraps. Being that this company went down to one show, doesn't realize that right now, there is someone more deserving than him to be here for a title shot or to be within the confines of this company. If this were Hollywood, I would suspect that you are someone's nephew, a man that didn't earn his way here, he just knew someone who blew someone to get here. That is of course, if you weren't doing the blowing yourself. Maybe you were the only man to make "Madd" Katt..."Happy" Katt.
Ash: But that's neither here nor there.
Ash leans in.
Ash: Well motherfucker, if you tell the world I don't scare you, you better open your eyes because I damn well better scare you. I'm the heartless one, the one that will not give a shit if you died on the way to the arena. I'd shrug and enjoy my day off, and I'd spit on your grave just so you'd know I mean nothing but disrespect. I'd write my name in piss on your head stone, because that's what your career here will amount to.
Ash: You tell the world that this is not about being the best, well bitchtits, it actually is. I don't believe in luck, I believe in talent and ring saavy and those are two things you clearly don't have. So before you try to convince the world that a company failed because you weren't here, ask yourself this, what the hell have you done for this company....answer, not a god damned thing. I am the rightful champion and it hangs above me because I am the king of the mountain. You are but the first of many victims to attempt to take it from me, you will be the first body laid to waste, that's all there is for you here dear boy, pain, anguish and resentment towards me for having the charisma that you'll never have, for being the ring general that you'll never be. I hope you enjoy that fact, because I will revel in it.
Ash: You may be ready to fight with everything you've got, but what will you do when you find out that it's simply not enough. I hope you go out like Whitney and we find you in a tub. And then you're poor drunk mother can sing I will always love you while the MPW moves on without so much as a ripple.
Ash: You hope I'm ready for the big fight...I'll let you know when I've found it, 'cause pal, you ain't it. You're not even the parceli of a meal, you're that wrapper that they put on the toothpick, what the hell is that for? It's the same sense people have, after your matches.
Ash: Why do I say that, well you had Christian Carter, the Sin City Champion with you in a tag match and lost. How the hell does that happen. Sure Carter was pinned and you weren't but one has to ask, where were you, oh that's right, the man ready for the big fight was in his corner too scared to take on Primal and Andrews. Good job kid.
Ash: Then in your second match, you win against the nonexistent Calista Vandal, congrats kid. And then, against Jason X, you get hit with the X-Driver II and get pinned. And then you had a week off, so in reality, there has only been one match you've won and it was for a title shot. You couldn't beat one of the men I've beaten at After Shock and you lose against Primal, whom I've beaten and Ian Andrews who stands absolutely no shot at even comparing to me. So is that why you brought up this ridiculous title business, because you have nothing to gloat about here in MPW. Do you think that in my first defense, that would be your second win here in the MPW. Is that what you THINK?!
Ash laughs.
Ash: Truth is, I'm going to bury you faster than a miner in the midwest. And only you won't be remembered, the world will be relieved by your absense...and a sigh of relief of never having to hear from you again. All this week, they tell me a storm's coming.....and I say yes it is coming.....for me to put it out of his misery.
Ash looks up at the X-Core Championship and thinks of Jordan's chances of winning it and simply shakes his head. And the camera goes to....
-Black-