Just for Shits and Giggles

[Christian Carter]

~The scene opens with Christian Carter sitting on a black sofa with an Xbox controller in hands. He has a pork rinds bag next to him which he brings to his mouth and shakes the crumbs in. The door opens as Jake Cage runs in and slams it shut behind him like Kramer from Seinfeld~

Christian Carter: what the hell? What are you hiding from Jake?

Jake Cage: he's going to rob us! Hide your laptop... And this too!

~Cage walks over to the Xbox and turns it off. Christian drops his controller~

Christian Carter: you serious man!? I was about to prestige!

Jake Cage: no we have to get out of here he's coming. He's after us. He might be armed also. Quick pack your things

~Cage runs in to the bathroom with a duffle bag as Carter watches confused~

Christian Carter: Jake what the hell is going on. We can't leave now we have a tag title match tonight

~Jake walks out of the bathroom with rubber duckies and a ninja turtle bath towel pouring out of his bag~

Jake Cage: listen Christian you gotta trust me on this one. Lets go.

Christian Carter: fine Jake

~Carter starts packing his bag as there's a knock on the door. Cage gasps and drops his bag~

Jake Cage: he's here. We're trapped! Why are there never windows in these locker rooms!

Christian Carter: honestly how bad could it be...

Jake Cage: Christian no!

~Carter opens the door to see Tim Bowers standing there with a microphone~

Christian Carter: Jake it's only Bowers calm down

Jake Cage: that's him! He's after us!

Tim Bowers: I'm just here for an interview....

Jake Cage: sure you are buddy. Just want you to know I am fully armed and not afraid to pull the trigger mister!

~Cage reaches in his bag and pulls out a water gun he hides behind his back. Carter laughs and walks towards Jake who is trembling~

Christian Carter: Jake put the "gun" down. He just wants an interview what is your problem.

Jake Cage: my mother always told me never to trust a colored man. He looks dangerous.

Christian Carter: he's harmless! We get interviewed by him all the time. Now come on let's talk to the man.

Jake Cage: just one question. Since when did Oj Simpson do interviews...

Christian Carter: my god Jake. Come on

~Carter pulls Cage outside with Tim and gets ready for the interview. Cage stands close to Carter stiff as a board~

Tim Bowers: I am here with Christian Carter and Jake Cage, the promised ones. Guys you have a huge match tonight which will kick off Uncivil War Are you ready to win those tag titles?

Christian Carter: you know Tim, I created all of these teams in No Mercy for N64 and me and Jake, we won that simulation and we will win again tonight. They have nothing on us. Taufik and Ian are a complete joke of a team and can't be taken seriously. Same goes for Real Steele. These guys haven't proven anything besides how dumb they are.

Tim Bowers: okay well what about the Tag Team Champs violet impact?

Christian Carter: piece of cake. Terrin reign is a fighter but you get him grounded and it's game over. So anyone who doubts us you will find out tonight why we are the promised one.

Tim Bowers: well that certainly is a tall statement. Cage do you have anything to add?

Jake Cage: well let me tell you something Mean Gene!

~Cage points at the camera with his eyes wide and a scowl on his face~

Jake Cage: tonight the Road Warriors, the Rockers and The Heart Foundation will feel the wrath of the Promised Ones!

~Carter smiles at Jake with a confused look~

Jake Cage: I have no problem stepping in there with the big man Terrin Reign and I will body slam him like I did to Andre the Giant at Shea stadium in front of thousands of screaming Cageamaniacs.

Tim Bowers: well okay than. You heard it folks.

Jake Cage: I'm not done! Whatcha gonna do when Jake Cage and Christian Carter run wild on you brother! .... Thanks Oj.

~Cage walks back in the locker room as Carter and Tim shrug at each other. Scene fades~