Post by Roxi Johnson on Dec 6, 2012 7:13:02 GMT -5
And once again, our heroine triumphs. Another evil-doer vanquished at my hands. No doubt that Brandon Nytrus was a really tough cookie to crack, but in the end, I once again came out on top and I'm still your MPW Television champion. But, alas, no time to savor the victory, because the machine rolls on as it were.
Oh, Jason Xavier won number one contendership to my title. Congrats, bud. Just one thing I ask of you: Please, please don't tell me your going to become the Tele- never mind, you already did. Well Jason, like Brandon, you're going to find out that just saying you're going to take my title, doesn't make it so. You have to physically beat me in the ring. And by my count, I'm up 1-0. Yeah, you did beat me in a tag match, when my partner decided that losing was the way to go, but you and I in the ring together one on one, I got the better of you. It wasn't luck, it wasn't a fluke.
Just ask Brandon.
Not to mention that the odds were stacked against me, as seems to be a recurring theme here. But, I always like when my back's against the wall, and people are underestimating me. It makes that plate of crow I serve all the more delicious in the end.
Moving on, Thursday, I take on Laura Tavares. Some call her mean, some call her vicious, some even call her the town bicycle. Or...so I've heard. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to wrestle. And that's what you and I get to do Thursday. And...like some many others, you think you are just going to waltz in to Takedown and beat me. Like I didn't just compete in, and win, mind you, MPW's first ever hell in a cell match. Like I haven't been undefeated in two months. Like I haven't been on a huge roll.
Nope, just me, Roxi Johnson, Television champion for no apparent reason.
I remember a few weeks ago, we were partners, you remember that right? You remember how well we worked as a team. Of course, I like to share the glory, but I think you may be letting that go to your head. As if it weren't big enough already.
We're not "besties" or anything Laura, but it seemed that you were at the very least, a reliable, talented partner. But now, here comes the real Laura Tavares. The one who is great at sneak attacking people and running her mouth after a couple of wins. The one who has tried to turn MPW into MPW High school.
Yeah, I was never the prom queen or voted most popular, nor did I ever aspire to be those things. High School is a popularity contest, and I was never going to win. There were girls who were prettier, smarter, skankier, and way more whorish that I can ever aspire to be. Aiming that low I guess is good for people like you, who need to be popular for the sake of their own ego, but for me, it just doesn't fit with my lifestyle. I read comic books for crying out loud. I guess what I'm getting at is....I will probably not be as popular with the boys like you are. But, from where I'm sitting, that's a good thing.
But here I am, sitting here insulting you, and you probably missed off it. So, I guess I can say something that maybe you'll understand: There's a word for people like you, but it isn't used by intelligent people. Outside of a kennel.
But I'm sure our match on Thursday will be fantastic. You are a great athlete in the ring. And out of it from what I hear. But inside the ring, you're not going to be using me as any sort of stepping stone to a world title match, Although I'm sure Johnny Clash wouldn't mind it if he got to touch you, or any other girl in from of thousands of people either. No Laura, let me explain what's going to happen, you, like a lot of other people here, are going to be a road block...no, an obstacle....no...a speed bump that I will again run over as I continue on my path. Where does that path lead? I'm not sure exactly, but I do know it will not be altered by Laura Tavares. Despite how dangerous you think you are, it's not going to be you, sneaking up on me, and trying to choke me out. And there's nothing you can say to make me scared of the girl who...wrestled another girl and got covered in cake.
So Laura, as much fun as it will be to wrestle you, it'll be more fun to beat you and move on to bigger things. And you can go back to screwing your boyfriend and he can fill your head with nonsense about how great you are.
What is going on with people today? Has the whole world gone topsy-turvy? Is the girl who reads comic books the only person with her head on straight?
[ Roxi rests up in her apartment, but of course, she's doing something dumb, leaning back in a chair, making it stand on two legs instead of all four....She reaches for a switch... ]
Come on....almost...there....all...most...
Vision - Roxi?
Roxi - WHOA!
[ Of course, she loses her balance and falls to the ground.
Ow! That's gonna leave a mark.
Vision - You okay?
Roxi - Ugh. Everything was great til you came in.
Vision - Roxi, I think we need to talk.
Roxi - So talk.
Vision - Well, it's about what you saw.
Roxi - I know what I saw Vision
Vision - You say it was you.
Roxi - Yes. Well, no. It wasn't me.
Vision - Then who was it?
Roxi - It was Lady Bedlam.
Vision - But that's you.
Roxi - I know - Hey, don't turn this it's a freaking Abbot and Costello routine. It was someone dressed as me, okay?
Vision - Right. So, now that we have that out of the way, Care to explain a little further?
Roxi - She came in, and took the guys out and saved me. Then she...left.
Vision - Where did she go?
Roxi - How should I know. I didn't follow her.
Vision - This isn't making a lot of sense. Did she know you?
Roxi - I don't think so.
Vision - Could it be just some...fan?
Roxi - I doubt it. That skill level was incredible.
Vision - Better than you?
Roxi - Please. I'm at the top of my game.
Vision - You just fell out of your chair.
Roxi - Because of you!
Vision - My point still stands.
Roxi - Ha! Very funny. How long you been saving that one?
Vision - Long enough.
Roxi - I'll bet.
Vision - But seriously...I think this calls for the Guild to investigate.
Roxi - No!
Vision - What? Why not?
Roxi - Let me handle this one.
Vision - Oh no, you're not doing any hero work. I'm not getting in trouble for you.
Roxi - But if I figure this one out on my own, I'll be back in their good graces again.
Vision - No. I'm not going to allow it. There's too much we don't know.
Roxi - Well, do they have anything on Claire yet?
Vision - There's nothing. The bodies had to have burned up.
Roxi - I just...I need to be sure.
Vision - I promise, I'll let you know whenever I know something.
Roxi - Any chance I get my costume back any time soon?
Vision - They're going to meet on the subject soon. I'll let you know that too.
Roxi - Ugh. It's so boring not fighting crime.
Vision - I think you needed the rest.
Roxi - Me not fighting crime, someone doing it in my place...has the whole world gone crazy?
Vision - You sound like you need more rest.
Roxi - (muttering) Don't remind me.
Vision - What?
Roxi - Nothing.
Vision - What? is something stopping you from sleeping too long too?
Roxi - ....No.
Vision - Good. Now I'm going to take the surveillance camera footage, and see if I can identify our little imitation heroine.
Roxi - What am I supposed to do?
Vision - I don't know...go see a movie or something.
Roxi - I....I could do that.
Vision - Just...try not to get kidnapped again.
Roxi - Ha. Ha. Ha.
Vision - I need to get back to work.
Roxi - Wait. Can you....do me a favor?
Vision - I already told you. I cannot build you a house made out of gingerbread. It won't work.
Roxi - No. Can you look up something for me?
Vision - What's that?
Roxi - Can you look up everything on...Clint Renner.
Vision - Clint? He's dead. What do you need his info for?
Roxi - To make sure he really is dead.
Vision - What?
Roxi - I'll explain later. Just...please?
Vision - ....Fine.
Roxi - You're a real pal, You know that?
Vision - I try.
Roxi - Alright, I'm off to the movies!
So, here I am in the line for this movie double feature. Let's talk to these girls behind me, since they don't want to shut up.
Roxi - So, girls, pretty exciting isn't it?
{They stare at Roxi, ignoring her}
Well, at least that shut them up.
Girl #1 - Who are you supposed to be, Bella?
{The three girls giggle.}
Roxi - No, I'm a reporter, and I want to know why you like these movies.
Girl #2 - For what?
Girl #3 - Why do you even care?
Note to self: Twilight fans suck.
{Roxi turns away from the girls, and there is a guy in front of Roxi, so, she talks to him.}
Well, I know guys hate Twilight, so, this should be fun.
Roxi - can you believe this?
{The guy turns around, surprised}
Guy - Are you talking to me?
Roxi - Yes. I'm from uh, Newsweek., and I'm trying to find out the appeal of Twilight. So, why are you here?
Guy - Uh, I don't know.
Roxi - Well, what do you like about Twilight?
Guy - Um, the Vampires.
This guy is a little slow.
Roxi - Vampires? Can you be more specific?
Guy - You know, The vampire guy. He loves Bella because of… a reason… and they fight werewolves and love werewolves and look at each other. It’s just all so awesome.
Is this guy serious?
Roxi - Scooter--and I don't know if you're actually called Scooter, but I'll be damned if you don't act like one--I'll be honest with you it sounds like you know nothing about Twilight, why are you even here? Are you just trying to meet girls?
Guy - .....
{the guy shrinks in his coat, avoiding the camera, and turns back around.}
Wow. That was bad. So very, very bad. How can anyone like Twilight? Seriously. It's the kinda thing Laura Tarvares likes probably maybe. I don't know. But what I do know is that people gave this movie a standing ovation. I mean, seriously. We just can't have that. This is why I pledge to defeat Laura on Thursday. Think about it people, who would you rather cheer for: A girl who thinks Batman is awesome? Or Edward Cullen? Choose wisely. Anyway, My conclusion: Twilight fans are cold-blooded harlots, possible pedophiles or 12-year-old girls. How we as a society deal with these parasites is a complicated issue, but pelting them with rocks would be far from the worst option.
Just saying.
Remember: The awesome, talented Batman-loving girl or not awesome, semi-talented, sex-crazed Edward Cullen-liking girl. You're choice MPW.
Kisses.
Oh, Jason Xavier won number one contendership to my title. Congrats, bud. Just one thing I ask of you: Please, please don't tell me your going to become the Tele- never mind, you already did. Well Jason, like Brandon, you're going to find out that just saying you're going to take my title, doesn't make it so. You have to physically beat me in the ring. And by my count, I'm up 1-0. Yeah, you did beat me in a tag match, when my partner decided that losing was the way to go, but you and I in the ring together one on one, I got the better of you. It wasn't luck, it wasn't a fluke.
Just ask Brandon.
Not to mention that the odds were stacked against me, as seems to be a recurring theme here. But, I always like when my back's against the wall, and people are underestimating me. It makes that plate of crow I serve all the more delicious in the end.
Moving on, Thursday, I take on Laura Tavares. Some call her mean, some call her vicious, some even call her the town bicycle. Or...so I've heard. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to wrestle. And that's what you and I get to do Thursday. And...like some many others, you think you are just going to waltz in to Takedown and beat me. Like I didn't just compete in, and win, mind you, MPW's first ever hell in a cell match. Like I haven't been undefeated in two months. Like I haven't been on a huge roll.
Nope, just me, Roxi Johnson, Television champion for no apparent reason.
I remember a few weeks ago, we were partners, you remember that right? You remember how well we worked as a team. Of course, I like to share the glory, but I think you may be letting that go to your head. As if it weren't big enough already.
We're not "besties" or anything Laura, but it seemed that you were at the very least, a reliable, talented partner. But now, here comes the real Laura Tavares. The one who is great at sneak attacking people and running her mouth after a couple of wins. The one who has tried to turn MPW into MPW High school.
Yeah, I was never the prom queen or voted most popular, nor did I ever aspire to be those things. High School is a popularity contest, and I was never going to win. There were girls who were prettier, smarter, skankier, and way more whorish that I can ever aspire to be. Aiming that low I guess is good for people like you, who need to be popular for the sake of their own ego, but for me, it just doesn't fit with my lifestyle. I read comic books for crying out loud. I guess what I'm getting at is....I will probably not be as popular with the boys like you are. But, from where I'm sitting, that's a good thing.
But here I am, sitting here insulting you, and you probably missed off it. So, I guess I can say something that maybe you'll understand: There's a word for people like you, but it isn't used by intelligent people. Outside of a kennel.
But I'm sure our match on Thursday will be fantastic. You are a great athlete in the ring. And out of it from what I hear. But inside the ring, you're not going to be using me as any sort of stepping stone to a world title match, Although I'm sure Johnny Clash wouldn't mind it if he got to touch you, or any other girl in from of thousands of people either. No Laura, let me explain what's going to happen, you, like a lot of other people here, are going to be a road block...no, an obstacle....no...a speed bump that I will again run over as I continue on my path. Where does that path lead? I'm not sure exactly, but I do know it will not be altered by Laura Tavares. Despite how dangerous you think you are, it's not going to be you, sneaking up on me, and trying to choke me out. And there's nothing you can say to make me scared of the girl who...wrestled another girl and got covered in cake.
So Laura, as much fun as it will be to wrestle you, it'll be more fun to beat you and move on to bigger things. And you can go back to screwing your boyfriend and he can fill your head with nonsense about how great you are.
What is going on with people today? Has the whole world gone topsy-turvy? Is the girl who reads comic books the only person with her head on straight?
[ Roxi rests up in her apartment, but of course, she's doing something dumb, leaning back in a chair, making it stand on two legs instead of all four....She reaches for a switch... ]
Come on....almost...there....all...most...
Vision - Roxi?
Roxi - WHOA!
[ Of course, she loses her balance and falls to the ground.
Ow! That's gonna leave a mark.
Vision - You okay?
Roxi - Ugh. Everything was great til you came in.
Vision - Roxi, I think we need to talk.
Roxi - So talk.
Vision - Well, it's about what you saw.
Roxi - I know what I saw Vision
Vision - You say it was you.
Roxi - Yes. Well, no. It wasn't me.
Vision - Then who was it?
Roxi - It was Lady Bedlam.
Vision - But that's you.
Roxi - I know - Hey, don't turn this it's a freaking Abbot and Costello routine. It was someone dressed as me, okay?
Vision - Right. So, now that we have that out of the way, Care to explain a little further?
Roxi - She came in, and took the guys out and saved me. Then she...left.
Vision - Where did she go?
Roxi - How should I know. I didn't follow her.
Vision - This isn't making a lot of sense. Did she know you?
Roxi - I don't think so.
Vision - Could it be just some...fan?
Roxi - I doubt it. That skill level was incredible.
Vision - Better than you?
Roxi - Please. I'm at the top of my game.
Vision - You just fell out of your chair.
Roxi - Because of you!
Vision - My point still stands.
Roxi - Ha! Very funny. How long you been saving that one?
Vision - Long enough.
Roxi - I'll bet.
Vision - But seriously...I think this calls for the Guild to investigate.
Roxi - No!
Vision - What? Why not?
Roxi - Let me handle this one.
Vision - Oh no, you're not doing any hero work. I'm not getting in trouble for you.
Roxi - But if I figure this one out on my own, I'll be back in their good graces again.
Vision - No. I'm not going to allow it. There's too much we don't know.
Roxi - Well, do they have anything on Claire yet?
Vision - There's nothing. The bodies had to have burned up.
Roxi - I just...I need to be sure.
Vision - I promise, I'll let you know whenever I know something.
Roxi - Any chance I get my costume back any time soon?
Vision - They're going to meet on the subject soon. I'll let you know that too.
Roxi - Ugh. It's so boring not fighting crime.
Vision - I think you needed the rest.
Roxi - Me not fighting crime, someone doing it in my place...has the whole world gone crazy?
Vision - You sound like you need more rest.
Roxi - (muttering) Don't remind me.
Vision - What?
Roxi - Nothing.
Vision - What? is something stopping you from sleeping too long too?
Roxi - ....No.
Vision - Good. Now I'm going to take the surveillance camera footage, and see if I can identify our little imitation heroine.
Roxi - What am I supposed to do?
Vision - I don't know...go see a movie or something.
Roxi - I....I could do that.
Vision - Just...try not to get kidnapped again.
Roxi - Ha. Ha. Ha.
Vision - I need to get back to work.
Roxi - Wait. Can you....do me a favor?
Vision - I already told you. I cannot build you a house made out of gingerbread. It won't work.
Roxi - No. Can you look up something for me?
Vision - What's that?
Roxi - Can you look up everything on...Clint Renner.
Vision - Clint? He's dead. What do you need his info for?
Roxi - To make sure he really is dead.
Vision - What?
Roxi - I'll explain later. Just...please?
Vision - ....Fine.
Roxi - You're a real pal, You know that?
Vision - I try.
Roxi - Alright, I'm off to the movies!
So, here I am in the line for this movie double feature. Let's talk to these girls behind me, since they don't want to shut up.
Roxi - So, girls, pretty exciting isn't it?
{They stare at Roxi, ignoring her}
Well, at least that shut them up.
Girl #1 - Who are you supposed to be, Bella?
{The three girls giggle.}
Roxi - No, I'm a reporter, and I want to know why you like these movies.
Girl #2 - For what?
Girl #3 - Why do you even care?
Note to self: Twilight fans suck.
{Roxi turns away from the girls, and there is a guy in front of Roxi, so, she talks to him.}
Well, I know guys hate Twilight, so, this should be fun.
Roxi - can you believe this?
{The guy turns around, surprised}
Guy - Are you talking to me?
Roxi - Yes. I'm from uh, Newsweek., and I'm trying to find out the appeal of Twilight. So, why are you here?
Guy - Uh, I don't know.
Roxi - Well, what do you like about Twilight?
Guy - Um, the Vampires.
This guy is a little slow.
Roxi - Vampires? Can you be more specific?
Guy - You know, The vampire guy. He loves Bella because of… a reason… and they fight werewolves and love werewolves and look at each other. It’s just all so awesome.
Is this guy serious?
Roxi - Scooter--and I don't know if you're actually called Scooter, but I'll be damned if you don't act like one--I'll be honest with you it sounds like you know nothing about Twilight, why are you even here? Are you just trying to meet girls?
Guy - .....
{the guy shrinks in his coat, avoiding the camera, and turns back around.}
Wow. That was bad. So very, very bad. How can anyone like Twilight? Seriously. It's the kinda thing Laura Tarvares likes probably maybe. I don't know. But what I do know is that people gave this movie a standing ovation. I mean, seriously. We just can't have that. This is why I pledge to defeat Laura on Thursday. Think about it people, who would you rather cheer for: A girl who thinks Batman is awesome? Or Edward Cullen? Choose wisely. Anyway, My conclusion: Twilight fans are cold-blooded harlots, possible pedophiles or 12-year-old girls. How we as a society deal with these parasites is a complicated issue, but pelting them with rocks would be far from the worst option.
Just saying.
Remember: The awesome, talented Batman-loving girl or not awesome, semi-talented, sex-crazed Edward Cullen-liking girl. You're choice MPW.
Kisses.
