Post by Matt Steele on Dec 12, 2012 2:24:43 GMT -5
Once again we find Jimmy Fatal at one of his weekly A.A meetings, its still early and not many of the others have come yet, only Bill and two new guys. They are setting chairs up, while talking. Its cold inside the small room, where the walls are filled with motivational posters, message boards and all kinds of religious material. Jimmy is standing over by the coffee table, in the opposite side from the others, he pours himself a cup of bad coffee, it tastes awful, but he has actually started to like it, or at least was getting used to it. The people in the other end of the room start laughing, Jimmy wished he could join them, but not today, his head was occupied by thoughts and his mind controlled by emotions. All day he had been in a foul mood and been waiting for the meeting to get it out.
People start to come in, Jimmy sits in the corner, trying to keep invisible to some of the more talkative members of the group. Normally he didn't dislike the smalltalk before the meeting, he had a hard time doing it, but found it calming. Today was different, he didn't wish to snap at anyone and feared that it could happen if they got to close. Despite his effort, it wasn't long before a squeaking voice penetrated the mumbling from the crowd and found his ear
Jimmy!!!
Marcy and Steve emerged from the crowd, Marcy waving manically, Steve just lifted his hand looking a bit discomforted by his wife's outburst
Hey guys
How are you doing Jimmy? We saw your match last week, great show there, but sad thing that he got you after the match
Well that's how it goes in the end I won and that's what matters
That is true, but still you should have laid the smackdown on that guy
Both Jimmy and Marcy stare at Steve, it was a surprise to see him act so much out of character, normally he was a shy mild mannered guy, but now he showed signs of anger and what can best be described as blood lust
uhm yeah sure
Jimmy answered feeling the situation to be a bit awkward
OH Steve you big macho, you make me so hot right now, maybe we could....
She whispers something in Steve's ear, who starts blushing as she lays out her plan. Jimmy feels really uncomfortable especially as the two stare at each other with sleazy smiles, before, luckily, running off giggling like schoolgirls. Jimmy shakes his head, a small smile starts playing on his lips. It feels good, smiling, he actually got a few minutes of freedom from his own little world, but now the meeting starts and its time to face and share his fears.
The first part of the meeting was the usual formalities. Jimmy had been to so many meetings, all over the country, that he new it by heart, the never changing description of the organization, its purpose and principles. The handing out of medallions, acknowledging the anniversaries and welcoming the new. Finally Bill asked if anyone had something they wanted to share, Jimmy raised his hand and stood up in front of the group.
I'm Jimmy and I'm an alcoholic
The group replies in usual manor, as their eyes fixates on Jimmy, he can almost feel them, their anticipation and well willing towards him.
So its been a year and ten months, since I had my last drink and I truly feel like I'm being tested by my higher power. This week I have to return to the place, where I had that last drink, I have to return to the same place doing the same thing. Or almost the same, I'm going there to wrestle...
The discomfort of the situation, makes his throat feel dry and the words get stuck, he takes a few seconds to regain his composure and clear his throat
Almost two years ago in the locker room of that arena I drank that last drink, knowing it would be my last, planning it would be my last. I had swallowed a large amount of pills and was planning to wash them down with a bottle of whiskey. I was lost, felt that my life had no purpose and that I had no will to continue it.... Thankfully my higher power had different plans and send me, my saviors in form of my now former tag partner David Alexander and my mentor Mike Steele. They got me to the hospital and afterward to my first A.A meeting and well the rest is history.
Now I have to return to the same place and it frightens the hell out of me, I really fear to face the demons I left in that locker room. I feel so frustrated and helpless, I even considered no showing, but that would mean giving up my job and losing my new found purpose, the purpose made clear to me by Mike and David.... Yesterday I asked my higher power for guidance and I think that helped me finding my answer... I can't change, what happened there, but I can follow my purpose and show the way for the three young men I am facing, men who have succumbed to the dangers in the wrestling industry, the glamor and spotlight, that I was blinded by.... thank you.
Slowly he sits down, feeling relieved finally having put his frustrations and fears into words, and finally finding his way away from them and towards his purpose.
The rest of the meeting continued with reading from the Big Book and reflections on Bill's Story, Jimmy was feeling almost euphoric, lifted up in the clouds by the revelations of the task before him. A broad smile was planted on his face as they all stood hand in hand saying the Serenity prayer.
God,
grant me the Serenity to accept,
the things I cannot change
the Courage,
to change the things I can
and the Wisdom,
to know the difference
The next day Jimmy is still in great spirits as he heads to MPW headquarters for an interview. Normally he would feel irate towards it as he never felt he had anything to say, but today was different, cause he wanted to tell the world of the challenge in front of him and his way to redemption from the demons of his past.
As he enters the building, he sends the young receptionist a million dollar smile, which makes the young girl blush, lowering her head and hiding her beautiful facial features behind the blond her. Jimmy continues walking down the narrow corridors, he looks at the pictures of the roster priding the walls. Suddenly he stops and stares at one, his smile fades and an intense seriousness appears instead. The picture is of himself together with David Alexander, standing in the ring before a match. Its been a while since he really thought back to those days, but every time he does, it reminds him of why he has to do, what he does, no matter if he is jeered and hated for it.
I promise you David, I'll win this for you
He almost whispers to himself as he looks at the picture and thinks of David, who now is in Los Angeles with his family, not able to fulfill his dream of being a wrestling superstar. The words bare a conviction and intend to follow his way to live his purpose.
As he proceeds down the hallways a more hardened and determined expression has taken him over, he turns a corner and knocks on the door to the studio, before entering. Inside the room a camera crew and Jay Wyatt are waiting for him, he nods to greet them, before going straight onto the set and sits down in one of the chairs in front of the large MPW logo in the background, Wyatt looks a bit overtaken by the lack of pleasantries, but quickly sits down and gets the interview started.
Welcome everybody, Jay Wyatt here with MPW's recently returned superstar Jimmy Fatal, and welcome to you Jimmy
Jimmy sends him and ice cold stare as he rights himself in the chair and leans back
Thanks Jay, but I'd prefer you NOT call me as a superstar, I'm a wrestler, nothing more, nothing less
Wyatt again looks confused and smiles nervously while loosening his tie a little
So Jimmy, this week you'll face three new faces in MPW, who like yourself must be out to make an impact in the Energy Solutions Arena, what are your thoughts going in to this match
Fatal leans a little forward, as he pulls up the sleeves on his blue and white shirt, with his name written inside the A.A crest, the logo he had chosen to symbolize, his perspective on life.
Well Wyatt, I got a history in the Salt Lake area, and in particular in that arena, that was where I drank my last drink and it was there I was saved. So going into this match means facing the demons of my past as much as facing these three men. This match is my chance to seek redemption for some of my sins and at the same time show these men, that you don't need flashy moves or styles to be a great wrestler and that the spotlight isn't everything in life.
He shoots Wyatt a small smile as he finishes, seemingly calming the interviewers nerves, as he continues with a more confident tone in his voice
You've been talking about this in recent weeks, claiming that most of the younger talent is in this business for the glamor and fame, but isn't that what every person in this industry searches for, isn't that the whole point of the exposure that follows a wrestler in his career?
Again Jimmy's expression turn aggressively serious and intense as he again rights himself
I've been telling it as I seen and lived it!... last time I wrestled in that arena I had hit the bottom of the pit, that this industry can push you in. I wanted to be acknowledged, cheered and paid big time, but in the end I ended up in despair, without purpose nor will.... I want to save these men from that feeling, back then it was a man like them that saved me, he dreamed about the fame and spotlight, but in the end it was the need to out stage everybody else that left him with a busted back. You ask me if fame and glamor isn't the nature of the business and yes it is, but so is pain and suffering. You yourself is the only one who can keep you save and that's not done doing acrobatics.
Again Wyatt starts to play nervously with his time as he is about to ask the next question, but Jimmy stops him
I'm sorry Jay, I didn't mean to make you nervous, but David was my savior and in the end I couldn't save him, which is a mistake I'm not going to make twice and that is why I invest myself in this
Its OK Jimmy, but talking about your opponents, what are your thoughts on the men you are going to face on TNT?
Well they are three very talented guys, but in the end it will be their talent that will be their downfall. There is Capt'n Crunch, who thinks this business is all about power and big moves, he fails to see that in the ring you can have as big an arsenal of moves you want, but in the end a quick punch or a swift kick can prohibit you from using them. I showed you last week that you just need to make that one mistake and its all over. Then we have Nathan Styles, in this business, his kind of wrestler is a dime a dozen, he can fly around and do tricks to entertain the children, but there is a reason that jumping around is called high risk, cause it only acquires you to make one mistake and then your done, The last guy, this “Samurai” I don't know much about, but from what I gathered of Intel, he is a person, who hasn't learned his lesson. He was sidelined with an injury and still refuses to see the error of his way, still thinking that flying around is the way to go, with the added insanity of doing it in hardcore style. Now don't get me wrong I am a hardcore fan myself and love this type of match, but destroying yourself to take out your opponent, isn't a sound strategy in my mind. Although I guess he lives by the word of Yamamoto Tsunetomo
“Bushido is realised in the presence of death. In the case of having to choose between life and death you should choose death. There is no other reasoning. Move on with determination “
And this could be said about every single of these three guys, cause come Thursday they all made that Fatal Mistake of stepping into the ring with Jimmy Fatal.
A sick grin spreads on Jimmy's face as he stares straight into the camera and lets out a rolling laughter. Wyatt almost looking scared moves nervously in his chair
This is about all the time we have folks. Thank you for coming in Jimmy I think our fans will follow the match with great interest.
The shot fades with the image of the grinning Jimmy Fatal.
I'm really starting to look forward to this match, I know that the arena will bring up my demons, but I feel prepared. I have my mission and found my way, now its time to lay the past behind me and move forward. I wont forget the path I followed to get here, but I wont go down it again.
Its late in the evening, Jimmy has finally got around to training and is standing by a sandbag unleashing a series of left and rights, while still keeping up on his toes, still moving around. He loves doing this gives him time to think and still get rid of pend up anger and frustrations.
Its funny, but the whole deal with these guys, has given me a whole new perspective on things, I don't really want to hurt them, but its the only way they learn.
Finally his done and sits down on a training bench, with a bottle of water
I need to get more focused, I can't underestimate these guys, I can't risk becoming as reckless as they are.
He looks through a big glass window at the far end of the training center. It leads into a room where a climbing wall is set up. Jimmy laughs to himself as he gets up and starts walking towards the room.
Damn I need to be a little extreme to get my head straight and this wall will help me getting rid of the last bit of insecurity and doubts I might have.
He disappears out the side door that leads into the wall
People start to come in, Jimmy sits in the corner, trying to keep invisible to some of the more talkative members of the group. Normally he didn't dislike the smalltalk before the meeting, he had a hard time doing it, but found it calming. Today was different, he didn't wish to snap at anyone and feared that it could happen if they got to close. Despite his effort, it wasn't long before a squeaking voice penetrated the mumbling from the crowd and found his ear
Jimmy!!!
Marcy and Steve emerged from the crowd, Marcy waving manically, Steve just lifted his hand looking a bit discomforted by his wife's outburst
Hey guys
How are you doing Jimmy? We saw your match last week, great show there, but sad thing that he got you after the match
Well that's how it goes in the end I won and that's what matters
That is true, but still you should have laid the smackdown on that guy
Both Jimmy and Marcy stare at Steve, it was a surprise to see him act so much out of character, normally he was a shy mild mannered guy, but now he showed signs of anger and what can best be described as blood lust
uhm yeah sure
Jimmy answered feeling the situation to be a bit awkward
OH Steve you big macho, you make me so hot right now, maybe we could....
She whispers something in Steve's ear, who starts blushing as she lays out her plan. Jimmy feels really uncomfortable especially as the two stare at each other with sleazy smiles, before, luckily, running off giggling like schoolgirls. Jimmy shakes his head, a small smile starts playing on his lips. It feels good, smiling, he actually got a few minutes of freedom from his own little world, but now the meeting starts and its time to face and share his fears.
The first part of the meeting was the usual formalities. Jimmy had been to so many meetings, all over the country, that he new it by heart, the never changing description of the organization, its purpose and principles. The handing out of medallions, acknowledging the anniversaries and welcoming the new. Finally Bill asked if anyone had something they wanted to share, Jimmy raised his hand and stood up in front of the group.
I'm Jimmy and I'm an alcoholic
The group replies in usual manor, as their eyes fixates on Jimmy, he can almost feel them, their anticipation and well willing towards him.
So its been a year and ten months, since I had my last drink and I truly feel like I'm being tested by my higher power. This week I have to return to the place, where I had that last drink, I have to return to the same place doing the same thing. Or almost the same, I'm going there to wrestle...
The discomfort of the situation, makes his throat feel dry and the words get stuck, he takes a few seconds to regain his composure and clear his throat
Almost two years ago in the locker room of that arena I drank that last drink, knowing it would be my last, planning it would be my last. I had swallowed a large amount of pills and was planning to wash them down with a bottle of whiskey. I was lost, felt that my life had no purpose and that I had no will to continue it.... Thankfully my higher power had different plans and send me, my saviors in form of my now former tag partner David Alexander and my mentor Mike Steele. They got me to the hospital and afterward to my first A.A meeting and well the rest is history.
Now I have to return to the same place and it frightens the hell out of me, I really fear to face the demons I left in that locker room. I feel so frustrated and helpless, I even considered no showing, but that would mean giving up my job and losing my new found purpose, the purpose made clear to me by Mike and David.... Yesterday I asked my higher power for guidance and I think that helped me finding my answer... I can't change, what happened there, but I can follow my purpose and show the way for the three young men I am facing, men who have succumbed to the dangers in the wrestling industry, the glamor and spotlight, that I was blinded by.... thank you.
Slowly he sits down, feeling relieved finally having put his frustrations and fears into words, and finally finding his way away from them and towards his purpose.
The rest of the meeting continued with reading from the Big Book and reflections on Bill's Story, Jimmy was feeling almost euphoric, lifted up in the clouds by the revelations of the task before him. A broad smile was planted on his face as they all stood hand in hand saying the Serenity prayer.
God,
grant me the Serenity to accept,
the things I cannot change
the Courage,
to change the things I can
and the Wisdom,
to know the difference
The next day Jimmy is still in great spirits as he heads to MPW headquarters for an interview. Normally he would feel irate towards it as he never felt he had anything to say, but today was different, cause he wanted to tell the world of the challenge in front of him and his way to redemption from the demons of his past.
As he enters the building, he sends the young receptionist a million dollar smile, which makes the young girl blush, lowering her head and hiding her beautiful facial features behind the blond her. Jimmy continues walking down the narrow corridors, he looks at the pictures of the roster priding the walls. Suddenly he stops and stares at one, his smile fades and an intense seriousness appears instead. The picture is of himself together with David Alexander, standing in the ring before a match. Its been a while since he really thought back to those days, but every time he does, it reminds him of why he has to do, what he does, no matter if he is jeered and hated for it.
I promise you David, I'll win this for you
He almost whispers to himself as he looks at the picture and thinks of David, who now is in Los Angeles with his family, not able to fulfill his dream of being a wrestling superstar. The words bare a conviction and intend to follow his way to live his purpose.
As he proceeds down the hallways a more hardened and determined expression has taken him over, he turns a corner and knocks on the door to the studio, before entering. Inside the room a camera crew and Jay Wyatt are waiting for him, he nods to greet them, before going straight onto the set and sits down in one of the chairs in front of the large MPW logo in the background, Wyatt looks a bit overtaken by the lack of pleasantries, but quickly sits down and gets the interview started.
Welcome everybody, Jay Wyatt here with MPW's recently returned superstar Jimmy Fatal, and welcome to you Jimmy
Jimmy sends him and ice cold stare as he rights himself in the chair and leans back
Thanks Jay, but I'd prefer you NOT call me as a superstar, I'm a wrestler, nothing more, nothing less
Wyatt again looks confused and smiles nervously while loosening his tie a little
So Jimmy, this week you'll face three new faces in MPW, who like yourself must be out to make an impact in the Energy Solutions Arena, what are your thoughts going in to this match
Fatal leans a little forward, as he pulls up the sleeves on his blue and white shirt, with his name written inside the A.A crest, the logo he had chosen to symbolize, his perspective on life.
Well Wyatt, I got a history in the Salt Lake area, and in particular in that arena, that was where I drank my last drink and it was there I was saved. So going into this match means facing the demons of my past as much as facing these three men. This match is my chance to seek redemption for some of my sins and at the same time show these men, that you don't need flashy moves or styles to be a great wrestler and that the spotlight isn't everything in life.
He shoots Wyatt a small smile as he finishes, seemingly calming the interviewers nerves, as he continues with a more confident tone in his voice
You've been talking about this in recent weeks, claiming that most of the younger talent is in this business for the glamor and fame, but isn't that what every person in this industry searches for, isn't that the whole point of the exposure that follows a wrestler in his career?
Again Jimmy's expression turn aggressively serious and intense as he again rights himself
I've been telling it as I seen and lived it!... last time I wrestled in that arena I had hit the bottom of the pit, that this industry can push you in. I wanted to be acknowledged, cheered and paid big time, but in the end I ended up in despair, without purpose nor will.... I want to save these men from that feeling, back then it was a man like them that saved me, he dreamed about the fame and spotlight, but in the end it was the need to out stage everybody else that left him with a busted back. You ask me if fame and glamor isn't the nature of the business and yes it is, but so is pain and suffering. You yourself is the only one who can keep you save and that's not done doing acrobatics.
Again Wyatt starts to play nervously with his time as he is about to ask the next question, but Jimmy stops him
I'm sorry Jay, I didn't mean to make you nervous, but David was my savior and in the end I couldn't save him, which is a mistake I'm not going to make twice and that is why I invest myself in this
Its OK Jimmy, but talking about your opponents, what are your thoughts on the men you are going to face on TNT?
Well they are three very talented guys, but in the end it will be their talent that will be their downfall. There is Capt'n Crunch, who thinks this business is all about power and big moves, he fails to see that in the ring you can have as big an arsenal of moves you want, but in the end a quick punch or a swift kick can prohibit you from using them. I showed you last week that you just need to make that one mistake and its all over. Then we have Nathan Styles, in this business, his kind of wrestler is a dime a dozen, he can fly around and do tricks to entertain the children, but there is a reason that jumping around is called high risk, cause it only acquires you to make one mistake and then your done, The last guy, this “Samurai” I don't know much about, but from what I gathered of Intel, he is a person, who hasn't learned his lesson. He was sidelined with an injury and still refuses to see the error of his way, still thinking that flying around is the way to go, with the added insanity of doing it in hardcore style. Now don't get me wrong I am a hardcore fan myself and love this type of match, but destroying yourself to take out your opponent, isn't a sound strategy in my mind. Although I guess he lives by the word of Yamamoto Tsunetomo
“Bushido is realised in the presence of death. In the case of having to choose between life and death you should choose death. There is no other reasoning. Move on with determination “
And this could be said about every single of these three guys, cause come Thursday they all made that Fatal Mistake of stepping into the ring with Jimmy Fatal.
A sick grin spreads on Jimmy's face as he stares straight into the camera and lets out a rolling laughter. Wyatt almost looking scared moves nervously in his chair
This is about all the time we have folks. Thank you for coming in Jimmy I think our fans will follow the match with great interest.
The shot fades with the image of the grinning Jimmy Fatal.
I'm really starting to look forward to this match, I know that the arena will bring up my demons, but I feel prepared. I have my mission and found my way, now its time to lay the past behind me and move forward. I wont forget the path I followed to get here, but I wont go down it again.
Its late in the evening, Jimmy has finally got around to training and is standing by a sandbag unleashing a series of left and rights, while still keeping up on his toes, still moving around. He loves doing this gives him time to think and still get rid of pend up anger and frustrations.
Its funny, but the whole deal with these guys, has given me a whole new perspective on things, I don't really want to hurt them, but its the only way they learn.
Finally his done and sits down on a training bench, with a bottle of water
I need to get more focused, I can't underestimate these guys, I can't risk becoming as reckless as they are.
He looks through a big glass window at the far end of the training center. It leads into a room where a climbing wall is set up. Jimmy laughs to himself as he gets up and starts walking towards the room.
Damn I need to be a little extreme to get my head straight and this wall will help me getting rid of the last bit of insecurity and doubts I might have.
He disappears out the side door that leads into the wall