Post by To Be Announced on Dec 20, 2012 13:46:58 GMT -5
Normally I don't wear sunglasses, usually think they're just for people who think they're cool, but tonight, I do feel cool. Why? Because things are finally going my way! On my way to my hometown for this week's episode of TNT, where no doubt the hometown crowd will cheer me on for my match against some schmuck who's apparently in love with that douchebag Nytrus. But this time on the road, me and Sweeney have got some company...
Chicken: Are you okay back there sweetie?
Ms. Biguns: Piss off!
That's right. Guess who has Ms. Biguns in the backseat of his car? Long story short she found herself in a bit of bother after this whole wedding fiasco, and out of the kindness of my heart, as well as the bonus in my paycheck, I decided to help her out, buy her contract and keep her job here in MPW under one condition. I told you. I fucking told you didn't I? And now here I am, on my way to TNT, where the beautiful Ms. Biguns will finally debut as my manager. MY MANAGER!! Feeling like the cock of the block right now!
Sweeney: So Ms. Biguns...I still haven't heard you thank my buddy here for saving your ass last week...
Ms. Biguns: And who the fuck are you? Why don't you keep your nose out of my business?
Sweeney: Alright, chill out. Just saying that's all...don't eat me...
Ms. Biguns: The heck you say?
Sweeney: Oh nothing. You just keep eating that donut you have there...
Glad to see that Sweeney is getting along with her nicely...
Chicken: Hey man, back off. Ms. Biguns has had a rough couple of weeks, the last thing she wants is someone like you in her face.
Sweeney: Dude, I'm not being funny, but why did you spend so much money just to save that cow's ass? Especially after what she put you through with Johnny Clash.
Chicken: Sweeney, you know how much I wanted this? All I ever wanted was to be with Ms. Biguns. Sure there were obstacles along the way, and maybe she hasn't completely opened up to me yet, but as long as she's my manager, I have the chance to show her what I can offer her, how much she means to me, and maybe she will finally share those feelings I have for her with me.
Sweeney: But dude, you already had something going on with Tasha Jordan! Two weeks ago she called you to apologize for not answering your calls, and what did you do last week? You blew her off for a woman who clearly doesn't like or respect you!
Chicken: Don't get me wrong, I still like Tasha, and I do feel bad about blowing her off, but she's been doing the same to me for weeks! But now I'm with the right woman. I know I am. It's gonna take some work, but I know that I will make her love me just as much as I love her!
Sweeney: Well at least call her again later! If you ask me I think you should dump that fat pig behind us and hook up with Tasha. I seriously think that she's into you...
Ms. Biguns: Who are you calling a pig you dickhead!?
Sweeney: Oh, finished your donut have you? What was that, like the fifth one today?
Ms. Biguns: Third actually! Can we pull over?
Sweeney: Not again! Maybe if you laid off the fizzy drinks you wouldn't need to piss so much!
Ms. Biguns: Fuck you I have a weak bladder! Chicken, can we pull over pretty please?
Chicken: Okay!
What timing. What a perfect spot to park the car. Right by the sign of my home state. It's so good to be home after living in Las Vegas for so long, after driving on the road for weeks. Shame it's so damn cold though...
Oh god...
Chicken: Sweeney, what the hell? Can't you keep that damn camera to yourself for five minutes?
Sweeney: Come on mate, we gotta make another promo this week. Stand by the car and talk about the match!
Chicken: Fine. So who am I facing again? Oh yeah, that's right. Brandon's little buddy. Evidently the Duke of Extreme can no longer fight his own battles alone, so he picked up some dull-as-rock punk to help him out. Guess that plan didn't work out for you last time, since you ended up in hospital. Oh, and I heard what you said. Aaron Cruz is it? You think that I'm some kind of jobber? Don't worry, I'll let you off this time since you're new, but this week, the hometown hero will show you why I am not some jobber. I am the real deal mate, I am the fucking cock of the block! Yeah I'm a little disappointed that I can't get my hands on that pussy Nytrus again, but at least I can do the next best thing and take a wash rag like you, beat you and then stick it in his dumbstruck face.
Wow, this little speech is firing me up!
Chicken: Oh sure, that twat Nytrus will be at ringside, and maybe that little strumpet Nikki might be there too, but that doesn't matter because we will be on equal terms. Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I have Ms. Biguns in my corner!
Perfect timing, here she comes.
Ms. Biguns: What the...
Chicken: That's right bitches, with the lovely Ms. Biguns by my side, I will be unstoppable and do you know why? This woman was not only the GM of Monday Night Main Event, and this woman led Johnny Clash to become the MPW World Heavyweight champion! Sure, she did end up getting screwed out of her GM job, and sure Clash did leave her with a face full of cake at her own wedding but still...she is a great manager, and I know that she will help me become a champion here in MPW!
Ms. Biguns: Yeah right...
And there she goes, back in the car. Don't worry, a couple more weeks and she will be speaking passionately on my behalf...
Chicken: But not only that, but do you know where we'll be? My hometown baby! Denver, Colorado! My family will be watching, my friends will be watching, heck the entire city will be watching and cheering me on as I beat your ass in my own backyard! So Aaron Cruz, next time try to learn something about your opponent before you go calling him a jobber. You don't want to become as boneheaded as that giant pussy in your corner do you?
Sweeney: And cut! I'll send that to the board right now!
Ms. Biguns: Can we go now? I'm hungry...
Sweeney: What a surprise...
Chicken: Okay. Hey Ms. Biguns, I know this nice little diner where I grew up. Maybe me and you can go there after the show?
Ms. Biguns: Sounds good...
Chicken: You serious?
Ms. Biguns: Yeah why?
Chicken: Oh, no reason...
SHE SAID YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Chicken: Are you okay back there sweetie?
Ms. Biguns: Piss off!
That's right. Guess who has Ms. Biguns in the backseat of his car? Long story short she found herself in a bit of bother after this whole wedding fiasco, and out of the kindness of my heart, as well as the bonus in my paycheck, I decided to help her out, buy her contract and keep her job here in MPW under one condition. I told you. I fucking told you didn't I? And now here I am, on my way to TNT, where the beautiful Ms. Biguns will finally debut as my manager. MY MANAGER!! Feeling like the cock of the block right now!
Sweeney: So Ms. Biguns...I still haven't heard you thank my buddy here for saving your ass last week...
Ms. Biguns: And who the fuck are you? Why don't you keep your nose out of my business?
Sweeney: Alright, chill out. Just saying that's all...don't eat me...
Ms. Biguns: The heck you say?
Sweeney: Oh nothing. You just keep eating that donut you have there...
Glad to see that Sweeney is getting along with her nicely...
Chicken: Hey man, back off. Ms. Biguns has had a rough couple of weeks, the last thing she wants is someone like you in her face.
Sweeney: Dude, I'm not being funny, but why did you spend so much money just to save that cow's ass? Especially after what she put you through with Johnny Clash.
Chicken: Sweeney, you know how much I wanted this? All I ever wanted was to be with Ms. Biguns. Sure there were obstacles along the way, and maybe she hasn't completely opened up to me yet, but as long as she's my manager, I have the chance to show her what I can offer her, how much she means to me, and maybe she will finally share those feelings I have for her with me.
Sweeney: But dude, you already had something going on with Tasha Jordan! Two weeks ago she called you to apologize for not answering your calls, and what did you do last week? You blew her off for a woman who clearly doesn't like or respect you!
Chicken: Don't get me wrong, I still like Tasha, and I do feel bad about blowing her off, but she's been doing the same to me for weeks! But now I'm with the right woman. I know I am. It's gonna take some work, but I know that I will make her love me just as much as I love her!
Sweeney: Well at least call her again later! If you ask me I think you should dump that fat pig behind us and hook up with Tasha. I seriously think that she's into you...
Ms. Biguns: Who are you calling a pig you dickhead!?
Sweeney: Oh, finished your donut have you? What was that, like the fifth one today?
Ms. Biguns: Third actually! Can we pull over?
Sweeney: Not again! Maybe if you laid off the fizzy drinks you wouldn't need to piss so much!
Ms. Biguns: Fuck you I have a weak bladder! Chicken, can we pull over pretty please?
Chicken: Okay!
What timing. What a perfect spot to park the car. Right by the sign of my home state. It's so good to be home after living in Las Vegas for so long, after driving on the road for weeks. Shame it's so damn cold though...
Oh god...
Chicken: Sweeney, what the hell? Can't you keep that damn camera to yourself for five minutes?
Sweeney: Come on mate, we gotta make another promo this week. Stand by the car and talk about the match!
Chicken: Fine. So who am I facing again? Oh yeah, that's right. Brandon's little buddy. Evidently the Duke of Extreme can no longer fight his own battles alone, so he picked up some dull-as-rock punk to help him out. Guess that plan didn't work out for you last time, since you ended up in hospital. Oh, and I heard what you said. Aaron Cruz is it? You think that I'm some kind of jobber? Don't worry, I'll let you off this time since you're new, but this week, the hometown hero will show you why I am not some jobber. I am the real deal mate, I am the fucking cock of the block! Yeah I'm a little disappointed that I can't get my hands on that pussy Nytrus again, but at least I can do the next best thing and take a wash rag like you, beat you and then stick it in his dumbstruck face.
Wow, this little speech is firing me up!
Chicken: Oh sure, that twat Nytrus will be at ringside, and maybe that little strumpet Nikki might be there too, but that doesn't matter because we will be on equal terms. Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I have Ms. Biguns in my corner!
Perfect timing, here she comes.
Ms. Biguns: What the...
Chicken: That's right bitches, with the lovely Ms. Biguns by my side, I will be unstoppable and do you know why? This woman was not only the GM of Monday Night Main Event, and this woman led Johnny Clash to become the MPW World Heavyweight champion! Sure, she did end up getting screwed out of her GM job, and sure Clash did leave her with a face full of cake at her own wedding but still...she is a great manager, and I know that she will help me become a champion here in MPW!
Ms. Biguns: Yeah right...
And there she goes, back in the car. Don't worry, a couple more weeks and she will be speaking passionately on my behalf...
Chicken: But not only that, but do you know where we'll be? My hometown baby! Denver, Colorado! My family will be watching, my friends will be watching, heck the entire city will be watching and cheering me on as I beat your ass in my own backyard! So Aaron Cruz, next time try to learn something about your opponent before you go calling him a jobber. You don't want to become as boneheaded as that giant pussy in your corner do you?
Sweeney: And cut! I'll send that to the board right now!
Ms. Biguns: Can we go now? I'm hungry...
Sweeney: What a surprise...
Chicken: Okay. Hey Ms. Biguns, I know this nice little diner where I grew up. Maybe me and you can go there after the show?
Ms. Biguns: Sounds good...
Chicken: You serious?
Ms. Biguns: Yeah why?
Chicken: Oh, no reason...
SHE SAID YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D