Post by ethancage on Jan 3, 2013 12:01:55 GMT -5
Press Start
How Taveres Got Her Tits
The camera comes in on a game show type setting. And out walks Ash Soulsfate reprising his role as Killswitch as he did weeks ago, complete with some random horrible "nobody knows who they are, "but fuck you, you don't know music if you don't, pretentious band" t-shirt, ripped sweats and dried blood on his face. But this time, Ash's "Killswitch" is wearing an arm sling and head bandage, a representation of what Ash did to him over the course of their fights. Ash mocks a Killswitch laugh and teeth fall out of his mouth.
"Killswitch": I am reckless, I am hardcore. Oh and after facing Ash, I guess I am now...toothless....
"Killswitch" makes it to the center stage and holds out his one good taped up arm.
"Killswitch": Well hello there gents and germs, I am your host Killswitch and I know I know, you are used to my ridiculous show where someone ends up in spikes or dead, or even seeing me all bitchy and emo because I can't beat Ash nor live out my claims of being the king of hardcore but I decided I'm going to do something I little special this week. I thought Killswitchie Poo, what could be more fun, what could lift my spirits more than a family show. And after what Ash Soulsfate did to me, I needed a little more of a cheer up than when I when I lost my first X-Core title shot. So which was my favorite family game show growing up, and I have to tell you kiddies, it was Family Feud. And that's right Drew Carey who I've stored in the back against his will, well I really can't say against his will, all I had to do was lock him in a room with donuts and he went slaughtering them like the Tasmanian Devil, faster than Taufik running the English language. What's funny is that it's actually John " Hurley that hosts this show, so that one was just for fun. Well, now that I've explained everything to you people which I really didn't have to, let's bring out our first family. They are a family of four, they are the Tavares'es.. The Taveresees... um, the Laura's.
The "Laura's" family comes out including Poe playing Laura Tavares, and in a weird bit "Laura" is dressed in a powder blue sweater with a teddy bear holding a lolli pop on the front and pig tails and her very popular sunglasses but Poe's breast are covered by the heavy sweater making her look flat chested. And the father looks to be a drunk in a trucker hat, the mother is done up like a light green zombie, a steering wheel sticking out of her head and tons of flesh wounds, wearing a "Don't Text and Drive" t-shirt.
And complete with little brother who is picking his nose.
"Killswitch": Well don't you four look happy. Let's get to meeting you kids. Let's start with Dad. Here is Onyx Tavares.
Dad: Hello Killswitch.
"Killswitch": Well I gotta ask all the families this. Should you win today, what will you use the money for?
Dad: A family vacation Killswitch, a place that is not afraid of zombies so probably Florida.
"Killswitch": Ah yes, zombies, you are referring to your wife Diamond Tavares. Care for some bathsalts should you win?
Mom: Arrhhhhhh Brains.
"Killswitch": Well, I guesss I don't have to ask what you're going to use the money for. Let's move on to Laura Tavares.
"Laura": Hello Killswitch, I'd use the money to buy friends. See, as a flat chested, dorky brunette, with braces, I find it hard to find friends.
"Killswitch": Have you tried the internet?
"Laura": We are the only family that exists on dial up Killswitch, and it's because we only have one income due to my mother being dead.
"Killswitch": Awkward, let's move on. And next to you we have, Cubic Zerconia?
Dad: He's adopted Killswitch, after my wife's death, she went baron, no matter how hard I tried or how much I filled her with my semen, sometimes not even mine, I'd bring friends over and after several drinks and bangs, still no kids. We decided to adopt.
"Killswitch": How you doin' CZ?
Cubic: My sister has no tits Killswitch. It's legal if I bang her, but what's the use?
"Killswitch": Aint that the truth?
"Killswitch" stares at Laura's chest.
"Killswitch": It's like ground zero there.
......
"Killswitch": Moving on! Our next family is not a family not all, but they are by bond a so called family. They are the X-Core losers! Now I'd be the leader of this group, with the most failed attempts at the X-Core title, but I'm hosting.
Another set of actors come out as X-Core losers, with "TJ Pain" acting and also dressed like white Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. "Killswitch" shakes his head and rolls his head.
"Killswitch": Let's just get this over with. Who are you?
"Nytrus": Brandon Nytrus, In Nytrus, they trust yo! You know, unless I'm in a title shot, then they don't trust me at all, because well...I've never had a title Kuk.
"Killswitch": That sounds retarded, what have you done for them to trust?
"Nytrus": ...... It's the beard Kuk, you just trust the beard. And you can trust that I'll have a decent record and fail when it comes to titles.
"Killswitch": I don't get it, was that supposed to be a positive thing? Let's move on. What would you use the money on Nytrus?
"Nytrus": More chest hair Killswitch!
"Killswitch": Are you a cartoon? If I punch you will you bleed or will my fist disappear into your face and make an Acme sound effect.
"Nytrus": My favorite cartoon is Gem, Killswitch!
"Laura": Me too!
"Nytrus": I was her for Halloween eighteen years running.
"Laura": Me too.
"Nytrus": Maybe your X-Core loser material.
"Laura": Really?
"Nytrus": You trust the Nytrus?
"Laura": I will trust the Nytrus.
"Laura" says bouncing up and down in excitement.
"Killswitch": TJ Pain, what will you use the money for?
"TJ": A 10 piece bucket.
"TJ" looks nervously at Nytrus who is shaking his head and sweats while panicking.
"TJ": I mean, I'd buy a baby, Killswitch. You know after you killed mine.
"Killswitch": How much do you think you're actually winning on this show TJ?
"TJ": Enough to buy us "We went to the ultimate X-Core title match and all we got were these cool" shirts, I have a homie who makes them, silk screen bitches.
"Killswitch": I immediately regret my decision to host this show. Who is this young man holding up a "Have you seen me sign"?
"Carter": I'm Christian Carter, have you seen me?
"Killswitch": No, you work in the MPW?
"Carter": Sort of, I'm a waste of space like Dixon over there. I was in the main event, Ash helped me get the world title, but somehow I still fucked it up.
"Killswitch": Oh, I thought Clash was facing a crash test dummy. What would you spend your money on?
"Carter": A personality Killswitch, I'm as generic as a polo shirt.
"Killswitch": You want to buy a personality? How about this, you use the money to buy someone who gives a shit about you? That's what Clash did, you think he could get Laura Tavares without money, look at his haircut for Christ's sakes.
"Carter" looks at Nytrus who gets an approving nod.
"Carter": Yes, I would use the money for that Killswitch!
"Killswitch": And finally, let's move on to Dixon.
"Dixon": BAnnnnnne
"Killswitch": What?
"Nytrus": He can't help it, Batman and Robin was the last thing he saw we left the house.
"Killswitch": Wait you guys all live together?
"Nytrus": Hell yeah man, we got this quiet little spot under Johnny Clash's mom's house. He's got the penthouse though....he calls it the attic.
"Killswitch": You four live in your parent's basement?
"Nytrus": I'm her legal tenent, so really she's my land lady. I'm a grown up, yo!
"Killswitch": This is just getting worse by the minute.
"Laura": Hi Nytrus.
"Nytrus": Sup Skank!
Dad: Don't you dare call my flat chested daughter a skank!
"Nytrus": She's comin' on to me bro.
Mom: BRainnnsss.
"Dixon": Baannneee.
"Killswitch": Why in all my promos I have my gun and in this one, NOTHING!
"Killswitch" walks towards the exit.
Voice from above: Where are you going?
"Killswitch": I haven't killed anyone in the last fourteen minutes, I just need a moment.
Voice: Cool, we'll just call Ash Soulsfate to come pay you a visit.
"Killswitch" gets on his knees"
"Killswitch": No wait, did I say I'm leaving, I said I needed to ...fart. But since you said Ash Soulsfate, I shat my pants, so, you know, problem solved. Let me just make my way towards the Tavares'es, Tavares', Taveresk? Whatever.
"Killswitch" heads to the Tavares'.
"Killswitch": Name something that you might find in the bathroom.
"Nytrus": Wait a second bro, don't we gotta do the buzzer thing?
"Killswitch": Was is it you do to be handed title shots, Nytrus? Does your beard tickle Clash's balls when you blow him, you tickle him into submission, ...freak.
"Nytrus": He said he wouldn't tell anyone. I'm the most hated man in wrestling, but he does so love me on my knees. That's the real reason for my knee pads, Kuk.
"Killswitch": That's something to be proud of, for a man with such low standards for himself such as you. But hey, if you and Clash want to play State Prison, that's all you. So what, you, Laura and Ms. Biguns all take turns? Or is it one takes the dick and the others handle the balls?
"Nytrus": That's harsh bro.
"Killswitch": Can I get back to hosting, the quicker we do this, the quicker we get out. Onyx Tavares, things in a bathroom.
Onyx and the family huddle.
Dad: Shower massager Killswitch.
"Killswitch": Why would you say that?
Dad: Well they make me use the hose outside, but one time I got to use the shower and wouldn't you know it, it massaged my head but I found it really useless, I mean why massage your head?
"Killswitch": It's because you're lacking in the ol' sack -a-roo.
Dad: That's funny....Laura never complains.
"Killswitch": And they call me a sick fuck. Let's see Shower Massager!
"Killswitch": Being that this is a family show, I highly doubt that would've been on there. Let's go to X-Core rejects!
"Killswitch" makes his way over to the X-Core losers' side.
"Killswitch": Nytrus, things in a bath room!
"Nytrus": Playgirl magazines!
"Killswitch": What the FUCK is wrong with you people, this is a family show, why would that be on the god damn boards?!
"Nytrus": That's what I got in ....
"TJ": Tell them....tell them about us Nytrus!
"Nytrus": I don't wanna lose Nikki, bro.
"TJ": Fine, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
"Nytrus": We all sleep on a couch.
"TJ": But not all of us do that thing with my knuckle where I-
"Killswitch": Dude, this is just gross.
"Laura": Can I live with you guys?!
"Carter": You have small tits.
"Killswitch": And no one believes you've ever been with a girl.
"Carter": Yeah but the X-Core losers said I would only embarass myself in a match so I'm on this show.
"Killswitch": Whoo dee doo.
"Killswitch" makes his way over to the Tavares' again.
"Killswitch": Let's just change the category to....things I'm wearing right now. Tavares!
The family huddles once more.
Mom: Brainnnnss.
"Killswitch": How am I wearing a brain on me. It's in my skull you stupid bitch!
"Killswitch": X-Core losers, I'm going to fuck a hole in your skull if you can't look at my clothing and pick one thing I'm wearing!
"TJ": Pink thong!
"Killswitch" eyes go big.
DING!
"Killswitch" checks under his pants.
"Killswitch": But I'm not wearing -
DING!
"Laura" runs over to "Nytrus"and embraces him in a hug.
"Laura": Can I be in the X-Core losers.
"Nytrus": You're going to need to lose the braces and get a tit job, you gotta make me look straight. And when you get bigger tits, you better not leave me for someone like Rage or Johnny Clash..
"Laura": Done.
"Dixon" makes over "Laura's" zombie mother.
"Dixon": Baaaane.
Mom: Braaiiinns.
"Dixon": Bane?
The mom nods.
Mom: Brains.
"Dixon" smiles and extends his arm as in an invite.
"Dixon": Baanne.
"Dixon" gives a thumbs up to the camera before exitting.
"Nytrus": Killswitch, we're going to use our money to pay for Laura's boob job!
"Killswitch": What about the chest hair?
"Nytrus": I'll just shave my back and glue it to my chest. Nikki, my cousin, only by blood, can help me do it.
"Killswitch": But I've seen you kiss her.
"Nytrus": We keep it in the family bro....that's the real family feud.
"Killswitch": Well, now that the show is over, I get to leave. Ladies and gentlemen, this was family feud.
Behind "Killswitch" is "Laura" pining for "Nytrus"as him and "TJ" are comparing body poses. And "Carter" acts lost, even more lost than his points or meanings within his promos.
As the camera fades out and comes back on to-
This is the End of Your Road
The camera comes in on Ash Soulsfate in a spotlight on a turntable slowly turning. An obvious promo for Army of One, Ash stands still in his wrestling gear. A blue hoodie vest and long blue wrestling trunks, his wrists taped. The previous opponents of his X-Core run plays within the room, on the projector plays clips of Ash's past Thursday Night Takedown matches. The first voice that plays for the promo is Jason X and Kuk Killswitch from their After Shock promos.
"Jason X: Ash Soulsfate mock my name all you like it doesn’t matter the truth is I will overcome the odds stacked against me and I will become X-Core champion.
"Killswitch: I know that if I can beat you now, when I cash in, I can definitely beat you! My time is coming! My time! MY TIME!"
The scene clips over to After Shock early October.
[Jason Xavier and Kuk Killswitch are released from the penalty box at this time. They rush the ring. Ash turns around and hits the “ill always be better” on Kuk Killswitch and the “Adios Motherfucker” On to Jason Xavier! He takes the belt and starts climbing the ladder. Ash gets to the top. He reaches up and he hangs the belt from the hook! The fans cheer as the bell rings]
Honey Winters: here is your winner and NEWWWWWW X-Core Champion!!! Ash Soulsfate!
Thomas Simon: Oh my god! Ash Soulsfate is the King of the Mountain and the first ever X-Core Champion!
"Jason Storm: I told you last week, I'm ready to step up. I'm ready to fight with everything I've got."
The scene clips over to TNT November 1st.
[Storm then decides to climb up to the top rope. He waits as Ash slowly makes his way up and as he turns to face him Storm jumps off going for a double axe handle off the top rope but Ash was ready for it! Spear!]!
"kuk killswitch:"Ash, I respect you, I really do. It's these fans that I hate! It's management that I despise! It's this company that I don't need! Ash, Uncivil War, Me and You, Mono E Mono! That X-Core Championship is coming to where it belongs!"
The scene clips over to Uncivil War November 29.
[Ash climbs up to the top rope and stands straight up for a moment before jumping off and connecting with an elbow drop onto the trash can! The crowd explodes after Ash hits an elbow drop off the top rope onto the trash can that was over the head of Kuk Killswitch!]
And finally Ash's latest defense of the title.
"Killswitch: The end of the war. Will Ash get Kuk'd or will Kuk just be another fallen challenger? Tune in to Thursday Night Takedown to find out!"
And TNT December 20th
[Ash wastes no time as he gets up, picks Kuk up, and immediately hits him with Adios Motherfucker in the middle of the ring!]
The turntable stops at the camera.
Ash: I am Ash Soulsfate, I am what this company has been needing, ever since I set foot in this company, I've set it on fire. I've made my way here out of fate, out of this company's necessity for new blood, not just new blood, this is about new upper echelon of this great company. Ever since walking through those doors, I've been showing this company just what I could do. I've broken hearts, I've shattered dreams, I've made you laugh and I've made you hate the very fiber of my being. Here's the point, one way or another, you know me. This place was made for me, and it's prime for me to move in. I got the looks, I got the smile, my words are like blades and I wrestle the way a motherfucker should wrestle. I've raised the bar, and it's only the beginning, this opportunity means a lot to me. And as Nytrus believes, he tends to get what he wants, well he has no idea of the drive in me. He just knows he gets angry just hearing the sound of my voice. I will get this X-Core title off that X and I will walk into Army of One holding it. You all think The Steele Brothers, Andre Dixon, Myra Pwnage's, have any of these jackasses done anything that I have in their time here, and they act like that the grounds have shifted. Well, they didn't count on me being the complete asshole that I am, and an unforgiving one at that.
A look of not giving a fuck on his face.
Ash: You three and I are presented with an opportunity to be in the annals of MPW's history forever. Now of course I have it with my being the very first X-Core Champion and I have beaten an unclaimed legend, a former title holders,the current tag Champions men that thought they were better than me, as we've pointed out, besides X-Core losers, you just can't beat men that even have a bit of worth.
Ash shrugs.
Ash: But as you can see, once again, I've brought up the X-Core championship to the main event. You three are walking into my world, you know what's funny, everyone that is a "hardcore reject" or "hardcore icon" or "The Baltimore Badass", all these people with these laughable "nicknames" and they've never held a title, more than that, they've never held MY title. So the real king will always be me, do you understand that every single one of you are getting what you deserve. You are getting title shots and going home without titles, and yes, that's how it fuckin' should be. With the exception of Christian Carter, who's Sin City title reign lasted, what, a very forgettable month. So what I'm putting out there in this promo, is that obviously all three of you bitches are losing. And what I can tell you is that I'm going to make this ultimate X-Core match, MY match. This is MY match, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Do you think Johnny Clash smart enough to put a match like the Ultimate X-Core match together, well you give him more credit than I'd ever give him, for those wondering, the answer is no. You see, I told you all that when I should leave behind my title, I would still leave it as it's king. I will not release it and have anyone beat me for it, be any means necessary. I am it's first champion and in the eyes of the many, I will remain it's true champion, and in leaving it behind as part of my legacy, a month and a half ago I went into Madd Katt's office and told him of this idea, the ultimate X-Core match. And well, as Madd Katt couldn't get around to it, due to him being unconscious and all, wouldn't you know it, Johnny Clash comes up with an idea that isn't his. Of course, he does it in front of the audience to make himself look like the genius, but that's just part of his, stealing his ideas and making them his own program. Seems to be working, until you get a guy like me that's going to call him on his horse shit.
Ash Soulsfate raises an eyebrow.
Ash: Well, now getting deeper into this, I'm going to start with Brandon Nytrus. Saw your little complaint promo. That's a real champion isn't it? A guy that rolls the camera, basically says, "fuck it, I'm not going to win anyway", and in the end, when I once again beat you, you'll say that it's to keep me happy. Because I am in many eyes, considered the upper echelon of this company, or being groomed to be as such. And then I look over at your promo, with a complete opportunity at a chance at my title, a chance to really become what you claim, the hardcore icon. And you know what, fuck you, you deserve to be where you're at, you half hearted bitch. You deserve even less, and you know what, I'm going to even say this, I don't even know how you beat Kuk Killswitch with this snobby mall female teenager act you're putting on. That man should've planted his boot in your ass, because at least that kid has heart, and determination. And it's guys like you, who think you're going to lose to keep me happy, that thinks there's some conspiracy to keep you down, never putting in thought that your promos are half assed, have nothing really to say, and talk more about your complaining than your matches. Yes, Nytrus, you're going to stay down, you may win my title one day, but I will be long gone, and much as you're showing you will be, you will be a paper champion. A vessel, just a carrying case until you have to defend it and lose it, i.e, see Christian Carter's Sin City Championship. You want to blame someone for you sucking, blame yourself, blame your genetics, blame the fact that sucking dick may get you the title shots, but they'll never have you win them. So wipe your mouth, pick the cum out of your beard and stand up and be a man.
Ash shakes his head.
Ash: For being the biggest man in this contest, you sure have the smallest balls.
Ash Soulsfate looks up at the spotlight, letting the light bathes his face and then back down.
Ash: You see this, this is greatness. I only have to defend my title, knowing that I am on my way to a world title, I'm still giving my title it's due, it's respect. And why, it's only a Thursday Night Takedown, not even a pay per view, it's because of the respect I have for this company, for this business, for what it's done for me, and if you pulled your head out of your ass and stopped your little pity party, what it could do for you.
Ash points to the camera as if pointing to Brandon.
Ash: But no, it's about me isn't it. It has nothing to do with me breaking my fuckin' back to study my opponent, to put the work and time in, to put up a promo that lasts longer than heating up a microwave burrito, no. It's obviously got to be, something against you, this fat kid chosen last in dodge ball attitude you have lately is for shit. And I've lost any sort of respect I ever could've had for you. I'm going to tear you apart in this match and yes, I will be winning it, because I'm going to break my back to get my title and keep it on my waist, for as long as this company will allow me to have it while holding the World title. I attack every match as if it's my last, live free and die young, and if I don't, I'll leave behind a legacy. You, you are treating this week just as every other week, as if it's not even a shot at a title. I guess beating you at your best would be just that much more of a knife in your side, so you roll a camera and spew out lies and conspiracies to make yourself feel better and hope to God for some sort of sympathy. This is wrestling, this is a sport of kings, not a sport of spoiled brats who don't have the heart for the game. People who thought by being 6'8 and 272 pounds that they would skate by. No, they have to work, just like I do, and just like you refuse to do to. You think those six failed title shots are to hold you down, but if you think about it, it's this company fuckin' BEGGING you to break out and be the monster you claim to be. You see this situation as the company letting you down, FUCK YOU, you're letting this company down, and you're getting paid to do it. You and your sister both get paid to lie on your back, must be the family business, your Dad was great at it in his career.
A smaller spotlight to the right of Ash hits a table and stays on his X-Core title.
Ash: How far we've come, from the days when the world thought I'd get squashed by you and Kuk, to the days when both of you cry because you have to face me. I guess we've come so far, and the reality set in, that I will always be better. So go ahead Nytrus, look towards Friday with hopeful eyes, look passed Thursday because you feel you'll lose anyway. Trust me, I'm going to make you hurt the way you never have before, I'm going to make you regret yet again, that you looked passed me. Kuk may not have my respect, but he has a better chance of getting my respect than you ever will. I remember the week of After Shock, you said that even if you lose that match, you wouldn't stop until you got the X-Core title. After Shock was Oct 11th, 2012 and we are looking at January 3rd, 2013, so once again, just another big lie coming out of your mouth. After facing me, you get a WORLD title shot and get the Lights Out for your trouble, was that a conspiracy or was that landing on your face with Trey ontop of you...from what I saw, it was the latter. And was Laura Tavares and Roxi beating you and Ian Andrews a conspiracy? I mean we know Roxi beating you in a Hell in the Cell was a conspiracy, you said it yourself. You spear her breaking the cage, and what happens at the end, you go for that same move and you're shocked she knew it was coming and she put you down with a shooting star press, and somehow, it's Madd Katt's fault. You lose to Kurt Newman and Kukky, and that was a conspiracy. You say that management is here to make me happy, and yet because of so called management, I've been left in a puddle of my blood twice in the time I've been here. Check your facts before you open your mouth, and it'd at least make it a little difficult to embarrass you, good thing you're so good at embarrassing yourself, you did my job for me.
Ash shakes his head.
Ash: Let's move on to TJ Pain. Hey, glad to see you awake. The last time I saw you, you and Kuk had knocked each other out with a pair of long light bulbs. I couldn't be bothered to wake you up as I was too busy getting the win, and then walking over your unconscious body to get to the back. Funny, that week you spoke as if I'd get in the way of that match and yet I was the one who got the win, while again, you were "out to lunch". Then again, what can I say, after all your father was just working the indies anyway, ain't that right poor boy. Talk of your family being happy, and all I have to say is, is that right, is that why you split your head open every match, because you are just so happy. Makes little sense, then again, how can I take the word of a man going through an identity crisis. You're fat, you're skinny, you're fat again, and now to hide your fatness, you've decided to wear camo, no matter what, you're not going to be able to hide the many fuckin' chins you have. It's said that your father put you to sleep with stories of his matches, I guess you get that from your father too, because trust me, nothing puts me right to bed like a fuckin' TJ Pain match.
Ash: TJ, Anthony, whomever you are this week, I know you've seen a lot of guys come and go through those doors, and I can respect that. But that's how far it goes, because you've become complacent, you wrestle one week, and then take two weeks off, you expect me to think that for one second you're in this business out of respect. You're a fake, if we rode harleys, you'd be a weekend warrior, bleed bitch bleed, that's all your worth. There's a reason why Ash Soulsfate brings in more money than a TJ Pain ever would. If I'm involved in the match, instant 5 star, because of the work I put into a match, plain and simple. It's who I am, it's what I do. You're mad that I didn't check in on you when you fell from the ladder to the concrete, how could I call you, I was too busy fuckin' laughing to dial your number and really the last thing you'd want is me laughing at you on the phone. I mean I'm trying to get the boys in the back to get me that on DVD so I can submit it to Tosh.0 and that's the truth. The Baltimore Badass is crying how nobody cared about him while he was gone, he wasn't sent flowers and the whole god damned show didn't stop without his presence, take a look at what your worth is to this company first. My career skyrocketed because of who I am, what I do, and the work I put into my career. The fact that I am the same motherfucker that walked into this company months ago. The fact that I'm undefeated in the months I've been here, that's why. But it's better to sit there and bitch about it, believe me, you have company, go watch Brandon Nytrus' promo.
Ash: TJ, you have no idea who you are dealing with, because you and I were on the same side the last time we were in the ring together, and believe me, you weren't talking half the shit you are now. But I get it, you have to act like you have a set on you. You have to act like you know what "hardcore" is, well with that title belt hanging from above, I hope those ropes can hold your fat ass, because you should know that that only works further in my favor. You think you're putting me in traction and these are just more words that you'll have to eat along side your triple stacker burgers. I'm going to show you first hand how I got this title, and the pain I leave you in, you're going to know why I am this belt's champion. That's who I am, and that's how I've lived, Nytrus and Killswitch both thought that I wasn't X-Core enough, that I had no idea what I was getting into, and at every turn I've succeeded. When you and I tagged, you weren't complaining, but that was because being in a match with me involved brought it up to main event level, and wouldn't you know it, once again, here you are in the main event, and who is involved, that's right, me. So sit back and say thank you like you should be, because I'm going to bring this match to the A level the way it should be.
Ash: I don't care who you face after me you selfish slut, this match is my all, and believe me TJ, you can tell by the words I'm telling you, and the way I'm building up this match, as a champion should, that I am nothing but focused on keeping my title. See, a few passing words and you are done, but I get down to the crust of a motherfucker and learn what I need to, to beat him. I've studied your matches with Kuk very closely, as well as your other matches and believe me when I say that when I walk to that ring, I will be very prepared. As well, thank you for pointing out your weaknesses from your match with Rage, that was aces of you to highlight. Giving us all a bullseye is just what we all needed to make sure you stay down. So if you're planning on me being distracted, I beg you to come in with that theory, it's going to take 14 Roxxane Pains to pull my boot from your ass, punk.
Ash: And last and certainly least, Christian Carter.
A spotlight behind Ash hits a long ladder, shining in the light, it follows the ladder until we see the X above it.
Ash: I hate to tell you, but ever since I walked into this company, the moment I spoke, you were already forgotten, and then my first match against Frost, the nail was in the coffin. I'm excellent on the mic, entertaining in promos, and I'm a master of that ring. To you this is secondary, and when I'm putting you through the pain of knowing our craft for as long as I have, and you learning a few moves after a few weeks, you're going to know pain. You are going to know it well, and then you're going to wish that you took wrestling a little more serious. This isn't yoga, this isn't zumba, this is a sport of kings, and I plan to make proud those men before us, because much like a jedi, when I pass, people will still see me. When there's a man fifty years from now with a chip on his shoulder and a genius in the ring, you're going to think me. Just as people thought Jesus Christ when they saw me. I'm going to surpass what everyone before me has done here, and I'm going to make my own name. And part of that will be painted in all of your blood.
Another smaller spotlight hits a blood stained chair to the left of Ash.
Ash: Because you see, in Ash Soulsfate fashion, you've never seen me in an Ultimate X-Core match
Ash: No one saw me as an X-Core Champion. And I attained that goal, now I look forward to putting that chair to your face and hearing that whimper out of your mouth, seeing you so helpless. Looking down at you, looking up at me, and looking for any kind of humanity, and realizing that there is just none to be found.
The lights surrounding Ash Soulsfate go out, leaving the only spotlight on Ash Soulsfate.
Ash: You are twisted chaos, I call you the lost cause. Come on Christian Carter, when I walked into this company, silently I was being compared to you, and you were above me, on Step Up involved in the big matches and you were supposed to be the golden child. The man that was to go to the Main Event roster any moment, and then out of nowhere, I took the controls and you became forgotten. I remember, being on Step Up and being made sure to take a back seat to you, while you were in the main event. Because you had the glitz and glamor of what it was to be groomed to be a champion. And then you get a title and hold on to it, for only a month and lose it to Primal. You go against Johnny Clash and even with the distraction I made, still, you couldn't do it. See, as much as people want to hate on me, for that five seconds you were the World Champion, I gave you that feeling. Sure, Johnny Clash used his owner status to pull the rug from under you, but here's my fall back plan, I'm going to make sure he's unconscious at the end of our match, that way he won't be able to restart our match, nor would he even want to.
Ash holds his hands out confidently.
Ash: You think hanging out at a mall and talking to your girlfriend is a promo, you spent more time talking about video games and the arcade and watching your girlfriend eating her food while she was thinking of my dick. Now that's great that you can fit in this match before biology class, but this match will be very dangerous Carter. And your focus just ain't there, and what can I say, I will be taking advantage of that. Because for as long as we were on Step Up, you held me down, sure it was one week, but still, I hold grudges. Because once again, the tables have turned, now you are coming to me for my title. I won my title the very same day you lost yours, so that means for as long as you have been waiting for a title, I've been a champion. I run my town like the major, and each match is main event level, even to a motherfucker like Chris Cable who can't be bothered to promote his matches. I am the fuckin' MVP of the MPW, and instead of getting respect, I'm getting a bunch of whining bitches who can't bring themselves out of themselves to become something more. Here we are in the main event over guys like Trey Baxter, Drake Hunter, Roxi Johnson and what do you do with that opportunity, you fuckin' waste it. Christian Carter, I hope you wrestle better than you do a promo, because I'm coming in to fuckin' shut down the night. And in the end they will be announcing my name...and still the X-Core Champion. I am the best thing going for the MPW and the world expects me to take away Johnny Clash's title. Now whether it's in the Army of One match or he grows a pair and gives me a title shot, I waste no opportunity. And I know why all you bottom feeders are waiting for me to release this title, because on the ladder, it's considered the lowest and all of you are waiting so in your heads you can say at least I held the X-Core championship. I know that once I release this title, it'll be passed around more than the Television title and Sin City title combined, but this match is to etch in everyone's mind what the X-Core division could be. And as Johnny Clash thought he was stacking the deck against me, he should've given the wrestlers against me a little more thought, because I'd take on three Kuk Killswitches in this match one of each of you. You fuckin' wastes of time, but don't worry, each of you are going to pay dearly for it.
Ash shakes his head.
Ash: You are making this really easy Carter, you've told everyone just what you think of our X-Core title and had World title shots. People have said that if you are not here to be the world champion stay the fuck home, well, the names that have held that title will one day go into MPW's hall of fame. You will be remembered forever, and the rumors have it, that was sent to me had said that you want to be remembered in this business. However, somewhere along the line that title shot became about what it can do for your lacking in a career. Yes, you're right I am the last person before the X-Core title, and I am that last person because I am the one who actually deserves that X-Core title. I've made people hate me, I've made people laugh and I've made people glue their eyes to the television not wanting to miss a beat, and in my matches it's the very same if not better. Love me or hate me that crowd is in the palm of my hand, and what makes a champion, you're looking at it. I am what makes a champion in this company. I am the spoken truth. You have reached this height only for me to send you to hell where you belong.
Ash: You will never be a name in this company, and more over it will never be at the cost of me. I don't work that way. No, don't get me wrong, I know and fully understand that circumstances may happen where I may lose a match or two, however it will not be in this match and it won't be to any of you.
Ash once again points at the camera.
Ash: I hope you've enjoyed your last meal with Myra, as the person that you are today. Because soon she will be having to spoon feed you. And sooner or later she will realize that she can't care for you like this, she'll look at a useless woman. She'll look at you like Christopher Reeves wife looked at him, not as a lover, but as a hinderence, a responsibility. And she'll get fed up and leave you, and won't that feel great to visit you in a few months, look at you sitting your little Shits and Giggles or Promised Ones locker room, taping up those limbs that are still tender to the touch. To look up at me and see the emptiness in your eyes, to look at me and know that you can't even bring yourself to hate me because you're so full of self hatred. I'd just bring popcorn and a Shock Top because I could look at the expression on your face all day.
A smirk arises on Ash's face.
Ash: I know you're watching this now and wondering just how heartless I am, what a cold hearted bastard I am, and believe me, there is a place in hell for me, hell I'm sure it's marked with my name on it. But for now, on earth, I'm going to walk this world a legend, everywhere I step, there is going to be a kid in the future that is going to step where I once did and want to be me. Everything I have touched, there is going to be a woman who gets wet knowing I touched that same spot, and guys right now just bought a gym membership to even attempt to look like I do. That is my legacy, to be so good in this business in my way of speak, that it is unattainable to even touch the surface of how great I am. Wrestling brings me this joy, Carter, it is this place, it is that ring where I shine. You talk about shining brighter than ever, and you have a chance every single week to shine, and you keep waiting for a future date, I'm shining now, and right now I'm shinning brightest.
The colgate smile of Ash's arises and he adds a smile wink.
Ash: In your mind I am some newcomer that needs to learn the ropes, no one ever thought with me replacing a man in this division that a new person would ever win it. Infact everyone in the King of the Mountain match thought he had an easy week, as did Terrin Reign, as did Killswitch, they all talked down to me like I was out of my mind. They thought I was out of my league, they thought their seniority would get them passed me. They couldn't understand how I reached them in the ladder of the MPW. And in the end, it was me, this place was about me the day I took someone's place. After facing Frost, management saw something in me, something special. And then after Primal, they knew once again, I was going somewhere but after Killswitch, I silenced a lot of naysayers. The fluke excuses started going away, and now the eyes of acceptance are on me from those that idolize me, and then there are the haters that know how great I am but hate that they'll never be as good as me. And as Katt Williams said, if you don't have any haters in your life, then you're not doin' your job.
Ash: Boys, as I climb each rung in MPW, I want you to see that opportunity going away more and more. With every swing at your face, I'm aiming for a homerun, I want to see your eyes roll to the back of your head like slot machine. I have no room for error, and I will be walking away with my title And I will walk into Army of One with this title, and I will terrorize whoever tries win my championship. Thus is my life, to keep the MPW world on it's toes. And as I said, once I make my name in this company, whenever you see my name next to yours, you know it will mean your ass. And you've seen my name next to you three dumbasses. And at Thursday Night Takedown, I come to gain glory, I come to make my first step into MPW's hall of fame. After this, comes greatness, comes the money. I told the world that I am here for titles and titties, and this match will be getting me in a World title hunt and well, I'm in a match with one already, so it's pretty much a win-win.
Ash: When you're on your back, looking at me ascend on that X, getting my title, begging for death, begging for the humiliation to stop. Hoping that it was all just a dream and you're going to wake up at your next failed title shots. After I grab that title, I may fall on you using you as a cushion to my fall. But as you three beg, cry and plead for me to end it, I want you to think of that Godsmack song.....Death will come....when I'm good ...and ready.
Ash lifts both his hands and snaps his fingers and the lights go out.
Black