Post by Johnny Clash on Jan 16, 2013 12:54:54 GMT -5
[The scene opens as Johnny Clash's round face fades in. He has sunglasses on and a grey suit. A black backdrop hangs behind him as he breathes and looks into the camera]
Johnny Clash: you know, I have never been one for the glitz and glamour. I don't go out to clubs and get wasted. I don't go to rock concerts and was never one for the music. I don't enjoy hearing people whine. I don't enjoy stereotypes and what's "hip." What do I enjoy? I enjoy a nice glass of scotch and my wife's tan thighs wrapped around my face buried in my beard. And I enjoy winning.
[Johnny stops to take a breathe and flips the world title over his shoulder]
Johnny Clash: winning is what I pride myself on and what I do. Ever since I stepped foot on this earth and this business particularly I have been a winner. Since day one I was noticed as the guy who will carry a company to the top and succeed to amounts not even reached by the greatest leaders of our free world. And what have I done you ask? Win a hunk of metal? Well that's just the icing on the cake children. Look at my life. There is not a single one of you who wouldn't get your fat ass up off the couch right now and trade in your magic the gathering world of Warcraft horse shit life for mine.
[Johnny takes another breather and takes a glass of scotch and holds it up. He swishes the ice around in the glass before taking a sip and placing it down next to him]
Johnny Clash: that's some good stuff right there. Now you see what the problem is people. We have guys in this place acting like their shit don't stink and they can run this place. Well guess what. My shit smells like lilacs and I do run this place. So that's why guys like Trey Baxter have been no where to be found. I ran him out of here like I will do to his boyfriend Thursday. That's why guys like Drake Hunter and Chris Cable are getting title shots because they deserve it. They paid their dues and paved their way to the big dance. The only thing Trey had paid for is a cheap lap dance from a stripper that has a c section scar. A scar which he himself came out of. "Mommy!!?"
[Clash pauses again and laughs as he scratches his beard]
Johnny Clash: that's the problem with this establishment. Guys like that. Guys like Rage who retire tens of hundreds of times to just rest their old bones up and make their big return just to retire again. How about you go to the local Walgreens Rage, buy a nice set of tennis balls. Buy a cheap pair of fiskers and cut holes in four of them. Now only three come in a pack so make sure you go on Wednesday. That's senior discount day. Now take those tennis balls and put them on each leg of your walker and walk right the hell out of the spotlight already. Oh that's right you can't because you are in the same place you spent most of your career. No no not on the mid card. In a hospital bed. How many times has it been this year you ended up there? Thank god you're retiring because its not long before your old wrinkled brittle body just gives out.
[Johnny looks at the title laying across his shoulder]
Johnny Clash: that brings me to Ash and Army of one. There are about thirty wrestlers fighting for a spot to face me at Road to glory in the main event. Only one can do it and only one can fail. Just like Ash will. I'm no pushover and I'm certainly no one new to this game. If Ash wants to think he can beat me than more power to him but going in with an attitude like that can't be good for his mental state. I'm going in there as champion and leaving as champion. It's what I do. I win. I succeed and I make the payday. Now these thirty other wrestlers can fight for the spot all they want but in the end they will be right back where they started at the bottom of the ladder. I have seen some new faces too. There's el cunado? There is some big many looking woman. There is Ice also who seems to be the man in that odd relationship. Than Tristan Slater who I complimented. I don't compliment many but I stepped aside and told him I liked his style. And what did he do? He pushed me away and basically told me to fuck off. Well Tristan wrong move. It's fairly easy to tell the new guys from the veterans. No respect.
[Clash picks up his scotch once again and takes a sip]
Johnny Clash: so let's make a toast. Lets celebrate. Lets all bring it in right now and celebrate the greatness. Celebrate who I am and who I will always be. A winner. Here's to you Ash
[Johnny points the glass at the screen before taking his final sip]
Johnny Clash: ah!
[scene fades]
Johnny Clash: you know, I have never been one for the glitz and glamour. I don't go out to clubs and get wasted. I don't go to rock concerts and was never one for the music. I don't enjoy hearing people whine. I don't enjoy stereotypes and what's "hip." What do I enjoy? I enjoy a nice glass of scotch and my wife's tan thighs wrapped around my face buried in my beard. And I enjoy winning.
[Johnny stops to take a breathe and flips the world title over his shoulder]
Johnny Clash: winning is what I pride myself on and what I do. Ever since I stepped foot on this earth and this business particularly I have been a winner. Since day one I was noticed as the guy who will carry a company to the top and succeed to amounts not even reached by the greatest leaders of our free world. And what have I done you ask? Win a hunk of metal? Well that's just the icing on the cake children. Look at my life. There is not a single one of you who wouldn't get your fat ass up off the couch right now and trade in your magic the gathering world of Warcraft horse shit life for mine.
[Johnny takes another breather and takes a glass of scotch and holds it up. He swishes the ice around in the glass before taking a sip and placing it down next to him]
Johnny Clash: that's some good stuff right there. Now you see what the problem is people. We have guys in this place acting like their shit don't stink and they can run this place. Well guess what. My shit smells like lilacs and I do run this place. So that's why guys like Trey Baxter have been no where to be found. I ran him out of here like I will do to his boyfriend Thursday. That's why guys like Drake Hunter and Chris Cable are getting title shots because they deserve it. They paid their dues and paved their way to the big dance. The only thing Trey had paid for is a cheap lap dance from a stripper that has a c section scar. A scar which he himself came out of. "Mommy!!?"
[Clash pauses again and laughs as he scratches his beard]
Johnny Clash: that's the problem with this establishment. Guys like that. Guys like Rage who retire tens of hundreds of times to just rest their old bones up and make their big return just to retire again. How about you go to the local Walgreens Rage, buy a nice set of tennis balls. Buy a cheap pair of fiskers and cut holes in four of them. Now only three come in a pack so make sure you go on Wednesday. That's senior discount day. Now take those tennis balls and put them on each leg of your walker and walk right the hell out of the spotlight already. Oh that's right you can't because you are in the same place you spent most of your career. No no not on the mid card. In a hospital bed. How many times has it been this year you ended up there? Thank god you're retiring because its not long before your old wrinkled brittle body just gives out.
[Johnny looks at the title laying across his shoulder]
Johnny Clash: that brings me to Ash and Army of one. There are about thirty wrestlers fighting for a spot to face me at Road to glory in the main event. Only one can do it and only one can fail. Just like Ash will. I'm no pushover and I'm certainly no one new to this game. If Ash wants to think he can beat me than more power to him but going in with an attitude like that can't be good for his mental state. I'm going in there as champion and leaving as champion. It's what I do. I win. I succeed and I make the payday. Now these thirty other wrestlers can fight for the spot all they want but in the end they will be right back where they started at the bottom of the ladder. I have seen some new faces too. There's el cunado? There is some big many looking woman. There is Ice also who seems to be the man in that odd relationship. Than Tristan Slater who I complimented. I don't compliment many but I stepped aside and told him I liked his style. And what did he do? He pushed me away and basically told me to fuck off. Well Tristan wrong move. It's fairly easy to tell the new guys from the veterans. No respect.
[Clash picks up his scotch once again and takes a sip]
Johnny Clash: so let's make a toast. Lets celebrate. Lets all bring it in right now and celebrate the greatness. Celebrate who I am and who I will always be. A winner. Here's to you Ash
[Johnny points the glass at the screen before taking his final sip]
Johnny Clash: ah!
[scene fades]
