Post by Roxi Johnson on Jan 16, 2013 22:38:48 GMT -5
Now that the Rumble match stuff is done, it's time to focus on retaining my Television Championship.
Again.
Let's be honest here, Jason X has struck out against me, and those were non-title matches. And I much as I like Jason as a wrestler, if he thinks I don't turn it on for Pay-per-views and title matches, he's sadly mistaken. Tyler Rose is now zero for two. So, honestly guys, I am looking for a little more effort that I'm getting, and it seems that you aren't going to make any other special efforts to take this belt from me.
Jason continues to spout off about how he's going to take this title, so I'll give him an A for effort and enthusiasm. I mean, losing to Drake Hunter has made me all the more eager to face him again. But there comes a point where pride is just going to have to take a back seat to reality. The fact is no matter if it's 1 on 1, a tag team, a triple threat, you have come up short. You have lost, over and over. And now, because you're number one contender, you're going to pull off the upset win?
Not today Jason, Not the 17th, not any day.
Not to take anything away from you. You didn't win contendership on a fluke. It's just that, I've grown attached to making this Television title mean more than any other belt. Because it's champion is better than any others. 105 days as champion tomorrow. If you want my title, if you want to end my run, you're going to have to come stronger than ever before. And seeing what you had to say...I'm not impressed.
Nor am I impressed with Tyler Rose, who still hasn't fully embraced the "porn guy" in him yet. In fact, he's getting away from it. Sad, because I think he really could have worked those puns in. But instead, he's putting his porn career on hold to try to take my title. And even he, who I had high hopes for, has come up...short.
There it is again, me doing your gimmick.
None the less, Tyler, I felt you could, if you applied yourself, have given me a great challenge. Not that you won't give me on at Army of One, but not a great one. I can respect you're skills, in and out of the ring. But inside of the ring, you have greatly fallen short of expectations. I saw you come in and I really thought, here's a guy who going to give me a test if we ever face each other in the ring. But no, you have simply given a goofy character a sleezy vibe to it, and it's not even enjoyable. I mean, Porn is something that comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, whatnot. But in your case, you've confused the ''70's porn 'stache with the "Creepy pedofile" mustache. Come to think of it, you don't even HAVE a mustache. Which is why you will lose at Army of One. That's right, you're going to lose before of a lack of facial hair.
What of it?
You're going to lose, Tyler.
Again.
And Jason will lose.
Again.
It's nothing against the two of you. But if I'm going to lose this title, it's going to be someone who's good enough to beat me. And neither of you two in my eyes, are good enough. You'd just lose it the next month, and diminish all of my hard work. And I cannot allow that.
Now, should I win the Rumble, then maybe you two can fight over it. Until then, this Television title is mine, and even after January 17th, even after Army of one, even after this Rumble... It's going to stay that way.
Ta-ta.
Captain Freedom - Come in.
[ Roxi cautiously enters Captain Freedom’s office. ]
Roxi – You wanted to see me, Captain?
Captain Freedom - Yes, I did. Please, sit down.
[ She does, still smarting from the eval though. ]
Captain Freedom - I wanted to let you know that I saw your physical eval and I was impressed.
Roxi – Thank you, sir.
Captain Freedom - So, I’m happy to report that you can now officially go back to fighting crime in your area.
Roxi – Awesome.
Captain Freedom - There is one detail you need to know.
Roxi – …And that is?
Captain Freedom - Due to the events that occurred when you worked by yourself, I am hereby assigning you a partner.
What?!
Roxi – Partner? I don’t need -
Captain Freedom - No arguing this. You will have a partner, and that partner will work with you, and you will work with them.
Roxi – Can I at least pick a partner myself?
Captain Freedom - No. It’s already been done.
Roxi – Aw…
Captain Freedom - Ah, here she comes
now..
[ And in walks the short brunette woman, eating a slice of pizza. ]
Zelda – Hey, Cap. What’s up?
Captain Freedom - Lady Bedlam, meet Zelda Knite
Roxi – Uh, hey. Where did you get that Pizza?
Zelda – Out there.
[ Roxi stands to go get some. ]
Zelda – Last piece.
Son of a....
[ Clearly annoyed, Roxi slumps back down in her chair. ]
Captain Freedom - Alright ladies, I hope the two of you will work together to accomplish our goal.
Zelda – No sweat, Cap. We’ll be a great buddy-cop duo like Laverne & Shirley.
Roxi – They weren’t cops.
Zelda – Crap. Who am I thinking of then? Oh yeah, Jon and Ponch.
Roxi – They were both dudes. But I will totally be Ponch.
Captain Freedom - Could we move on, ladies.
Zelda – Sorry Cap, sure, let’s go…uh
Roxi – Roxi.
Zelda – Name’s Sydney.
[ Back at Roxi’s apartment, where Sydney is visiting. ]
Roxi – Well, this it.
Sydney – Nice.
Roxi – Just uh…make yourself at home I guess.
Sydney – Sure. Oh….oh…
Roxi – What happened? What’s wrong.
[ Sydney stares at the X-Box 360 on Roxi’s table. She notices the Call of Duty game. ]
Sydney – You have Call of Duty?
Roxi – Yeah…
Sydney – You may just be my best friend now.
Roxi – Uh…alright.
Sydney – You know what you need…
Roxi – What?
Sydney – A Wii-U.
Roxi – Why?
Sydney – So I can totally school you in Mario Kart.
Roxi – Oh please. Mario Kart. I will leave you in the dust.
Sydney – Oh, clearly you are out of your mind.
Roxi – I don’t think so. I think you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sydney – One of these days, Roxi, boom. Straight to the moon.
Roxi – Whoa. Timely Honeymooners Reference there.
Sydney – That’s right…what of it?
Roxi – It’s just been revoked.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – No one really set up that Lethal Weapon 2 reference.
Roxi – I do what I want.
Sydney – You think maybe we should fight some crime?
Roxi – Probably.
Sydney – But when we’re finished, we’re
going to Wal-mart and buying a Wii-U
Roxi – Deal.
Sydney – Make you a bet, whoever takes down the least bad guys buys?
Roxi – Oh, oh you’re on.
Sydney – Hope you have some cash.
Roxi – Yeah, because I’m just going to use it to buy ice cream.
Sydney – Oh..you no good skank.
Roxi – Hey, come at me, bro!
Sydney – You wanna throw down dawg?
[ The two go face to face, as if they are old rivals. ]
Roxi – Seriously, let’s go.
Sydney – Yeah, good idea.
[ Later, above the second national bank… ]
Roxi – Look, a group of thugs and Iron hand.
Sydney – So…what do you suggest we do?
Roxi – I suggest we attack head on.
Sydney – Direct approach is usually suicide.
Roxi – Duh.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – I like it.
Roxi – Let’s go. And remember, loses buys a Wii-U.
Sydney – Oh it’s so on.
[ The two girls spring into action, Sydney riding her arrow glider, and Roxi swinging down from her grapping hook. They land, and draw the thugs attention. ]
Roxi – Impressive.
Sydney – Thank you. Not bad yourself.
Iron Hand – Oh, look boys, two kittens to play with.
Henchmen – We’ll take them out no problem, boss.
Sydney – Do you even lift, bro?
Iron Hand – I’m tired of this already. Kill them.
Sydney – How many did you count?
Roxi – 23.
Sydney – ooh one extra.
Roxi – Don’t try too hard.
Sydney – Already got the pants on.
Roxi – And…go!
[ Sydney and Roxi spring into action. 2 thugs try to corner Roxi, but two quick shots from her staff take them down. Zelda uses 3 arrows to take out 3 guys in succession. Followed by her sword to dispatch 2 more. Roxi uses her staff to take down 2 more baddies, followed by bolos to tie up 2 more. Roxi aims and throws a small gas bomb which knock out 4 guys instantly. Zelda launches her boomerang which nails 5 guys and takes them down before landing right back in her hand She smiles to herself before side kicking 1 in the junk, and dropping him. Another quick kick KO’s him. Roxi slides between the final two men and nails them both with her staff, dropping them both to their knees, before Zelda slides in and takes out 1 with her slingshot. Nailing him in the forehead as Roxi dispatches the last with a thrust kick to the head. ]
Sydney – Heh. Heh. Heh.
Roxi – What’s so funny?
Sydney – 12 for me, 11 for you. I win.
Roxi – That’s not fair, I had those last two guys.
Sydney – It’s a competition remember?
Roxi – I’m so calling B.S. on that.
[ The girls look around for any sign of anymore bad guys… ]
Sydney – Where did Iron Hand go?
Roxi – Must have run off.
Sydney – Let’s get after him.
Roxi – Right.
[ Out of nowhere, Iron Hand bum rushes them and tackles them both, which sends them into a nearby dumpster. ]
Sydney – Ooof.
Roxi – Ouch!
Sydney – Well, at least he’s willing to fight.
Roxi – Apparently.
[ The two climb out of the dumpster, looking around. ]
Sydney – Or…Maybe not.
Roxi – Huh. Looks like he’s really gone this time.
Sydney – Yeah. Well, are you ready?
Roxi – For what?
Sydney – You lost. Remember?
Roxi – Again, because you stole my guy.
Sydney – Doesn’t matter to me. We’re going.
Roxi – I would have had him.
Sydney – But you didn’t. Too bad slowpoke.
Roxi – Whatever. I’ll get the last laugh
when you see the blue shell.
Sydney – If I see a blue shell…I will stab you.
Roxi – Just for you. Right in the tailpipe.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – We should go.
Roxi – Right.
[ Sydney and Roxi swing off…presumably to Wal-Mart.]
Sydney – So...what else do you do beside lose bets to me.
Roxi – Very funny. I'm a pro wrestler.
Sydney – Oh...sweet. My half-brother does that too. I was never into it. You...any good?
Roxi – I did lose for 113 days in a row.
Sydney – Nice.
Roxi – And I'm MPW Television champion.
Sydney – You have a belt?
Roxi – A title. Yes.
Sydney – Can I wear it?
Roxi – If you buy the Wii-U.
Sydney – Oh, nice try.
Roxi – Figured it was worth a shot...
Again.
Let's be honest here, Jason X has struck out against me, and those were non-title matches. And I much as I like Jason as a wrestler, if he thinks I don't turn it on for Pay-per-views and title matches, he's sadly mistaken. Tyler Rose is now zero for two. So, honestly guys, I am looking for a little more effort that I'm getting, and it seems that you aren't going to make any other special efforts to take this belt from me.
Jason continues to spout off about how he's going to take this title, so I'll give him an A for effort and enthusiasm. I mean, losing to Drake Hunter has made me all the more eager to face him again. But there comes a point where pride is just going to have to take a back seat to reality. The fact is no matter if it's 1 on 1, a tag team, a triple threat, you have come up short. You have lost, over and over. And now, because you're number one contender, you're going to pull off the upset win?
Not today Jason, Not the 17th, not any day.
Not to take anything away from you. You didn't win contendership on a fluke. It's just that, I've grown attached to making this Television title mean more than any other belt. Because it's champion is better than any others. 105 days as champion tomorrow. If you want my title, if you want to end my run, you're going to have to come stronger than ever before. And seeing what you had to say...I'm not impressed.
Nor am I impressed with Tyler Rose, who still hasn't fully embraced the "porn guy" in him yet. In fact, he's getting away from it. Sad, because I think he really could have worked those puns in. But instead, he's putting his porn career on hold to try to take my title. And even he, who I had high hopes for, has come up...short.
There it is again, me doing your gimmick.
None the less, Tyler, I felt you could, if you applied yourself, have given me a great challenge. Not that you won't give me on at Army of One, but not a great one. I can respect you're skills, in and out of the ring. But inside of the ring, you have greatly fallen short of expectations. I saw you come in and I really thought, here's a guy who going to give me a test if we ever face each other in the ring. But no, you have simply given a goofy character a sleezy vibe to it, and it's not even enjoyable. I mean, Porn is something that comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, whatnot. But in your case, you've confused the ''70's porn 'stache with the "Creepy pedofile" mustache. Come to think of it, you don't even HAVE a mustache. Which is why you will lose at Army of One. That's right, you're going to lose before of a lack of facial hair.
What of it?
You're going to lose, Tyler.
Again.
And Jason will lose.
Again.
It's nothing against the two of you. But if I'm going to lose this title, it's going to be someone who's good enough to beat me. And neither of you two in my eyes, are good enough. You'd just lose it the next month, and diminish all of my hard work. And I cannot allow that.
Now, should I win the Rumble, then maybe you two can fight over it. Until then, this Television title is mine, and even after January 17th, even after Army of one, even after this Rumble... It's going to stay that way.
Ta-ta.
Captain Freedom - Come in.
[ Roxi cautiously enters Captain Freedom’s office. ]
Roxi – You wanted to see me, Captain?
Captain Freedom - Yes, I did. Please, sit down.
[ She does, still smarting from the eval though. ]
Captain Freedom - I wanted to let you know that I saw your physical eval and I was impressed.
Roxi – Thank you, sir.
Captain Freedom - So, I’m happy to report that you can now officially go back to fighting crime in your area.
Roxi – Awesome.
Captain Freedom - There is one detail you need to know.
Roxi – …And that is?
Captain Freedom - Due to the events that occurred when you worked by yourself, I am hereby assigning you a partner.
What?!
Roxi – Partner? I don’t need -
Captain Freedom - No arguing this. You will have a partner, and that partner will work with you, and you will work with them.
Roxi – Can I at least pick a partner myself?
Captain Freedom - No. It’s already been done.
Roxi – Aw…
Captain Freedom - Ah, here she comes
now..
[ And in walks the short brunette woman, eating a slice of pizza. ]
Zelda – Hey, Cap. What’s up?
Captain Freedom - Lady Bedlam, meet Zelda Knite
Roxi – Uh, hey. Where did you get that Pizza?
Zelda – Out there.
[ Roxi stands to go get some. ]
Zelda – Last piece.
Son of a....
[ Clearly annoyed, Roxi slumps back down in her chair. ]
Captain Freedom - Alright ladies, I hope the two of you will work together to accomplish our goal.
Zelda – No sweat, Cap. We’ll be a great buddy-cop duo like Laverne & Shirley.
Roxi – They weren’t cops.
Zelda – Crap. Who am I thinking of then? Oh yeah, Jon and Ponch.
Roxi – They were both dudes. But I will totally be Ponch.
Captain Freedom - Could we move on, ladies.
Zelda – Sorry Cap, sure, let’s go…uh
Roxi – Roxi.
Zelda – Name’s Sydney.
[ Back at Roxi’s apartment, where Sydney is visiting. ]
Roxi – Well, this it.
Sydney – Nice.
Roxi – Just uh…make yourself at home I guess.
Sydney – Sure. Oh….oh…
Roxi – What happened? What’s wrong.
[ Sydney stares at the X-Box 360 on Roxi’s table. She notices the Call of Duty game. ]
Sydney – You have Call of Duty?
Roxi – Yeah…
Sydney – You may just be my best friend now.
Roxi – Uh…alright.
Sydney – You know what you need…
Roxi – What?
Sydney – A Wii-U.
Roxi – Why?
Sydney – So I can totally school you in Mario Kart.
Roxi – Oh please. Mario Kart. I will leave you in the dust.
Sydney – Oh, clearly you are out of your mind.
Roxi – I don’t think so. I think you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sydney – One of these days, Roxi, boom. Straight to the moon.
Roxi – Whoa. Timely Honeymooners Reference there.
Sydney – That’s right…what of it?
Roxi – It’s just been revoked.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – No one really set up that Lethal Weapon 2 reference.
Roxi – I do what I want.
Sydney – You think maybe we should fight some crime?
Roxi – Probably.
Sydney – But when we’re finished, we’re
going to Wal-mart and buying a Wii-U
Roxi – Deal.
Sydney – Make you a bet, whoever takes down the least bad guys buys?
Roxi – Oh, oh you’re on.
Sydney – Hope you have some cash.
Roxi – Yeah, because I’m just going to use it to buy ice cream.
Sydney – Oh..you no good skank.
Roxi – Hey, come at me, bro!
Sydney – You wanna throw down dawg?
[ The two go face to face, as if they are old rivals. ]
Roxi – Seriously, let’s go.
Sydney – Yeah, good idea.
[ Later, above the second national bank… ]
Roxi – Look, a group of thugs and Iron hand.
Sydney – So…what do you suggest we do?
Roxi – I suggest we attack head on.
Sydney – Direct approach is usually suicide.
Roxi – Duh.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – I like it.
Roxi – Let’s go. And remember, loses buys a Wii-U.
Sydney – Oh it’s so on.
[ The two girls spring into action, Sydney riding her arrow glider, and Roxi swinging down from her grapping hook. They land, and draw the thugs attention. ]
Roxi – Impressive.
Sydney – Thank you. Not bad yourself.
Iron Hand – Oh, look boys, two kittens to play with.
Henchmen – We’ll take them out no problem, boss.
Sydney – Do you even lift, bro?
Iron Hand – I’m tired of this already. Kill them.
Sydney – How many did you count?
Roxi – 23.
Sydney – ooh one extra.
Roxi – Don’t try too hard.
Sydney – Already got the pants on.
Roxi – And…go!
[ Sydney and Roxi spring into action. 2 thugs try to corner Roxi, but two quick shots from her staff take them down. Zelda uses 3 arrows to take out 3 guys in succession. Followed by her sword to dispatch 2 more. Roxi uses her staff to take down 2 more baddies, followed by bolos to tie up 2 more. Roxi aims and throws a small gas bomb which knock out 4 guys instantly. Zelda launches her boomerang which nails 5 guys and takes them down before landing right back in her hand She smiles to herself before side kicking 1 in the junk, and dropping him. Another quick kick KO’s him. Roxi slides between the final two men and nails them both with her staff, dropping them both to their knees, before Zelda slides in and takes out 1 with her slingshot. Nailing him in the forehead as Roxi dispatches the last with a thrust kick to the head. ]
Sydney – Heh. Heh. Heh.
Roxi – What’s so funny?
Sydney – 12 for me, 11 for you. I win.
Roxi – That’s not fair, I had those last two guys.
Sydney – It’s a competition remember?
Roxi – I’m so calling B.S. on that.
[ The girls look around for any sign of anymore bad guys… ]
Sydney – Where did Iron Hand go?
Roxi – Must have run off.
Sydney – Let’s get after him.
Roxi – Right.
[ Out of nowhere, Iron Hand bum rushes them and tackles them both, which sends them into a nearby dumpster. ]
Sydney – Ooof.
Roxi – Ouch!
Sydney – Well, at least he’s willing to fight.
Roxi – Apparently.
[ The two climb out of the dumpster, looking around. ]
Sydney – Or…Maybe not.
Roxi – Huh. Looks like he’s really gone this time.
Sydney – Yeah. Well, are you ready?
Roxi – For what?
Sydney – You lost. Remember?
Roxi – Again, because you stole my guy.
Sydney – Doesn’t matter to me. We’re going.
Roxi – I would have had him.
Sydney – But you didn’t. Too bad slowpoke.
Roxi – Whatever. I’ll get the last laugh
when you see the blue shell.
Sydney – If I see a blue shell…I will stab you.
Roxi – Just for you. Right in the tailpipe.
Sydney – …
Roxi – …
Sydney – We should go.
Roxi – Right.
[ Sydney and Roxi swing off…presumably to Wal-Mart.]
Sydney – So...what else do you do beside lose bets to me.
Roxi – Very funny. I'm a pro wrestler.
Sydney – Oh...sweet. My half-brother does that too. I was never into it. You...any good?
Roxi – I did lose for 113 days in a row.
Sydney – Nice.
Roxi – And I'm MPW Television champion.
Sydney – You have a belt?
Roxi – A title. Yes.
Sydney – Can I wear it?
Roxi – If you buy the Wii-U.
Sydney – Oh, nice try.
Roxi – Figured it was worth a shot...
