Post by Kurt Newman on Jul 15, 2012 22:23:52 GMT -5
~Meditation is any form of a family of practices in which practitioners train their minds or self-induce a mode of consciousness to realize some benefit……that’s what Wikipedia says at least. Damn site lies all the time. Looked up Obama to see where he was born. It says Hawaii……Hawaii isn’t a sate! It’s where people go to get a tan, spend a lot of money or crappy Hawaiian gear, and surf while trying not to be eaten by sharks…….anyways meditation, I see it as nap time where I go to my little happy place where I hunt down life sized Gummy Bears, drink from water falls of beer, and ride a super-fast unicorn. They’re not gay by the way people. Cowboys ride horses and their manly as hell and plus the unicorn has a freakin sworn on top of its head so it can stab you to death…….don’t you judge me!
~For some reason though I’m not there in my personal paradise. I sit on the ground with my eyes closed in my empty personal room. For some reason I’m having flashbacks to my wrestling days so many years ago. It’s the sights of people falling on the mat, the noise of the crowd cheering and booing, and the smell of fresh blood in the air. It’s these feelings and more that keep running through my head, going over a thousand miles per hour.
~I take a couple of slow and deep breaths to try to calm myself down but it ain’t working for some reason. I just want to get this match over with. So hyped…..so excited……I’m like a kid that shot gunned an entire Rock Star Energy Drink in one gulp. I’m flying off the walls right now…..I can hardly think straight.
Tasha Jordan: “Hello? Kurt Newman?”
~ Ooooh, it’s a lady. My concentration is soon disrupted as I hear the ladies voice. A smile comes across my face as I open my eyes to find this angel sent from heaven. I quickly jump up to my feet and look over at the lady standing behind me. Dressed up in my wrestling attire, I look the lady over and I can’t help but like what I see…….oh if you’re wondering what I’m dressed up in, it’s nothing really special. It’s the same type of trunks that Billy Gunn “aka Mr. Ass” use to wear but it’s all white with the name Kurt Newman on the back with a black and white nautical star behind that. That same nautical star covers on my black knee pads and the white vest that covers my upper. My chest is bare to show off my muscles and my perfect six-pack…..its ok ladies, you can have some “personal time” for yourself. I’ll wait………..done already? You cheeky little monkey you.
Kurt Newman: “Well hello there Mssssssss?
~She stares at me with a smile on her face as she pulls the microphone up…..where the hell did that come from…….did she……naaaaah can’t be……(if you don’t get this joke, maybe you’ll get it when your older)
Tasha Jordan: “Well I’m Sasha Long and I’m here to interview you.”
Kurt Newman: “(Raises and eyebrow) Interview as in?”
~Sasha looks at me funny, one of those looks that’s like “What the hell are you talking about.”
Sasha Long: “Interview as in talking about your match with Fisherman and Styles tonight.”
Kurt Newman: “Oh…..OH! That type of interview with the talking and stuff. Of course. See in Great Britain, they have this one sex move called the interview where you take a ball and some cream cheese and…….you know what never mind.……So yeah, interview let’s do it…….with the talking in the microphone and everything……not the sex and stuff……maybe if you want to try it later?”
Tasha Jordan: “No.”
Kurt Newman: “Gottcha……I don’t blame you, it’s really strange.”
~I look behind Tasha to see a camera crew that looks to be rolling. A slight smile comes across my face as I look back at Sasha.
Kurt Newman: “Have they been recording the whole time?”
Tasha Jordan: “Yeah.”
~I bite my lip as I look at the camera crew and then back at Tasha.
Kurt Newman: “You guys are going to edit that whole part out right?”
Tasha Jordan: “This is live right now.”
~DAMN! Damn, damn, damn!
Kurt Newman: “Well let’s start this then.”
Tasha Jordan: “Well Mr. Newman, it’s nice to finally meet you. The entire locker room has been a buzz about you as of late.”
~Taking Tasha by her free hand, I softly place a kiss on her hand.
Kurt Newman: “Well it’s nice to meet you to Miss Jordan. You’re so hot that I would need an oven mitt to handle you.”
~A smile comes across my face as I look back up to see Tasha who’s blushing on her cheeks.
Tasha Jordan: “Well Mr. Newman. You have a match against Styles and John Fisherman in a three way contest tonight. Are you nervous, scared, or excited for your first match with these two other super stars?”
~I bring my hand up so that the camera can see it shaking.
Kurt Newman: “You see my hand there? My hand is shaking not because I’m nervous. I haven’t been nervous since this girl I was dating when I was 20 said she was pregnant. It turn out that she wasn’t, I said goodbye the next day…….. I’m not scared because Styles and Fisherman are nothing more than little kids to me. All I have to do is to extend both my arms and hold their heads and watch as they swing their little fist in the air……such a funny sight. I’m not even excited because excited ain’t the right word that would best describe me right now……there isn’t even a word for how pumped I am right now. I’m like a crack addict on Angel Dust, Meth, and shotgun 20 Rock Star Energy Drinks to wash it all down. My heart is thumping so fast that it’s about to freakin explode. I am enthusiastic right now because I’m back to the sport that I love. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in, in my life. I mean look at that six back! You could cut and form a diamond with these six packs.”
~I smack my abs to show them off.
Kurt Newman: “I was hoping more out of Johnny boy and Mr. Styles. I was hoping to see that fire in their eyes and that aroma of greatness. I was hoping to see that thing that would make them special…….I haven’t seen any of that though. Hopefully I’ll see it when I get into the ring with them because I want a challenge. I want to show off my skills in the first night and I want these guys to help me with that. From what I’m seeing now though, it’s going to be a one man show, and the star attraction will be me. I sort of feel sorry for everyone else that’s going to follow us in the card because I’m positive that after I bring the house down with my match, that the other matches aren’t going to meet up to par. It’s something management will have to learn though. I talk a big game; the thing though is that I can back it up. Good luck boys, you’re going to need it. As for everyone at home, watch the match people, because this match is going to be legend……hope you’re not lactose intolerance……dairy!”
~A smile comes across my face as I hold up a peace sign and walk off the set.
~End Scene
~For some reason though I’m not there in my personal paradise. I sit on the ground with my eyes closed in my empty personal room. For some reason I’m having flashbacks to my wrestling days so many years ago. It’s the sights of people falling on the mat, the noise of the crowd cheering and booing, and the smell of fresh blood in the air. It’s these feelings and more that keep running through my head, going over a thousand miles per hour.
~I take a couple of slow and deep breaths to try to calm myself down but it ain’t working for some reason. I just want to get this match over with. So hyped…..so excited……I’m like a kid that shot gunned an entire Rock Star Energy Drink in one gulp. I’m flying off the walls right now…..I can hardly think straight.
Tasha Jordan: “Hello? Kurt Newman?”
~ Ooooh, it’s a lady. My concentration is soon disrupted as I hear the ladies voice. A smile comes across my face as I open my eyes to find this angel sent from heaven. I quickly jump up to my feet and look over at the lady standing behind me. Dressed up in my wrestling attire, I look the lady over and I can’t help but like what I see…….oh if you’re wondering what I’m dressed up in, it’s nothing really special. It’s the same type of trunks that Billy Gunn “aka Mr. Ass” use to wear but it’s all white with the name Kurt Newman on the back with a black and white nautical star behind that. That same nautical star covers on my black knee pads and the white vest that covers my upper. My chest is bare to show off my muscles and my perfect six-pack…..its ok ladies, you can have some “personal time” for yourself. I’ll wait………..done already? You cheeky little monkey you.
Kurt Newman: “Well hello there Mssssssss?
~She stares at me with a smile on her face as she pulls the microphone up…..where the hell did that come from…….did she……naaaaah can’t be……(if you don’t get this joke, maybe you’ll get it when your older)
Tasha Jordan: “Well I’m Sasha Long and I’m here to interview you.”
Kurt Newman: “(Raises and eyebrow) Interview as in?”
~Sasha looks at me funny, one of those looks that’s like “What the hell are you talking about.”
Sasha Long: “Interview as in talking about your match with Fisherman and Styles tonight.”
Kurt Newman: “Oh…..OH! That type of interview with the talking and stuff. Of course. See in Great Britain, they have this one sex move called the interview where you take a ball and some cream cheese and…….you know what never mind.……So yeah, interview let’s do it…….with the talking in the microphone and everything……not the sex and stuff……maybe if you want to try it later?”
Tasha Jordan: “No.”
Kurt Newman: “Gottcha……I don’t blame you, it’s really strange.”
~I look behind Tasha to see a camera crew that looks to be rolling. A slight smile comes across my face as I look back at Sasha.
Kurt Newman: “Have they been recording the whole time?”
Tasha Jordan: “Yeah.”
~I bite my lip as I look at the camera crew and then back at Tasha.
Kurt Newman: “You guys are going to edit that whole part out right?”
Tasha Jordan: “This is live right now.”
~DAMN! Damn, damn, damn!
Kurt Newman: “Well let’s start this then.”
Tasha Jordan: “Well Mr. Newman, it’s nice to finally meet you. The entire locker room has been a buzz about you as of late.”
~Taking Tasha by her free hand, I softly place a kiss on her hand.
Kurt Newman: “Well it’s nice to meet you to Miss Jordan. You’re so hot that I would need an oven mitt to handle you.”
~A smile comes across my face as I look back up to see Tasha who’s blushing on her cheeks.
Tasha Jordan: “Well Mr. Newman. You have a match against Styles and John Fisherman in a three way contest tonight. Are you nervous, scared, or excited for your first match with these two other super stars?”
~I bring my hand up so that the camera can see it shaking.
Kurt Newman: “You see my hand there? My hand is shaking not because I’m nervous. I haven’t been nervous since this girl I was dating when I was 20 said she was pregnant. It turn out that she wasn’t, I said goodbye the next day…….. I’m not scared because Styles and Fisherman are nothing more than little kids to me. All I have to do is to extend both my arms and hold their heads and watch as they swing their little fist in the air……such a funny sight. I’m not even excited because excited ain’t the right word that would best describe me right now……there isn’t even a word for how pumped I am right now. I’m like a crack addict on Angel Dust, Meth, and shotgun 20 Rock Star Energy Drinks to wash it all down. My heart is thumping so fast that it’s about to freakin explode. I am enthusiastic right now because I’m back to the sport that I love. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in, in my life. I mean look at that six back! You could cut and form a diamond with these six packs.”
~I smack my abs to show them off.
Kurt Newman: “I was hoping more out of Johnny boy and Mr. Styles. I was hoping to see that fire in their eyes and that aroma of greatness. I was hoping to see that thing that would make them special…….I haven’t seen any of that though. Hopefully I’ll see it when I get into the ring with them because I want a challenge. I want to show off my skills in the first night and I want these guys to help me with that. From what I’m seeing now though, it’s going to be a one man show, and the star attraction will be me. I sort of feel sorry for everyone else that’s going to follow us in the card because I’m positive that after I bring the house down with my match, that the other matches aren’t going to meet up to par. It’s something management will have to learn though. I talk a big game; the thing though is that I can back it up. Good luck boys, you’re going to need it. As for everyone at home, watch the match people, because this match is going to be legend……hope you’re not lactose intolerance……dairy!”
~A smile comes across my face as I hold up a peace sign and walk off the set.
~End Scene
