Post by MortyMan on Mar 21, 2013 15:43:11 GMT -5
Its funny in a world of dreams of fame and stardom, my life has turned into living nightmare. Its a constant battle getting up everyday, looking into a mirror and facing a guy I don't even care for, daily having to make the choice of not taking that first drink, choosing god over addiction. It may not sound like a difficult choice for most people, only an addict will know how it feels to fight an addiction.
I paid my prize for my addiction, I paid dearly and in some sick and twisted way, I'm grateful for it. Although it nearly ended my life, although it took me to a place where neither life nor death felt like it mattered, it taught me to fight back. A lesson well learned, as I scraped and clawed my way back into meaningfulness, fought my demons to regain my sanity and back into life.
Many might call it a great victory, but you know I don't feel it as a victory yet, not before I stand in that ring, holding gold, reach the peak of this industry.
I have a long road ahead and until I stand at the end of that road, you might as well consider me a Deadman, cause I won't care or rest till I stand with the X-Core title held high.
Jimmy has practiced that monolog over and over again, the words keep ringing through his head as he sits to his first A.A meeting, then the second and finally after four meetings and after telling his story several times, he walks out in the cold night air. The stars are out and Jimmy stares up at them as he fills he draws a long deep breath and then closes his eye.
Jimmy: is it really worth it all?
Slowly he turns to the right and starts walking down the street, his head is spinning, but he writes it off as a combination of to much coffee and to little sleep. As he walks on he passes by several bars, suddenly stopping and staring in through a window, looking at a group of people his own age drinking, laughing and in general having fun. His eyes wanders from the group and over to a guy sitting alone at the bar having a staring contest with a bottle of Jack Daniels and the bottom of his glass.
Jimmy knows how the guy feels all to well, a couple of years ago, he would be sitting right next to the guy, but not anymore. He just keeps standing staring in at the guy, almost feeling sorry for him, but then turns to walk away. After a few something deep inside him pulls him back, maybe its his own need to make talk or maybe the program has finally worked its way into his inner self, all he knows is that he wants to talk to the guy.
The bar is filled with the smell of cigarettes and stale beer, around him there are a mix up of drunken oldtimers and young people partying. Jimmy hardly notices them as he walks over and sits down next to the guy at the bar
Jimmy: Hey my name is Jimmy, you seem like you could need a friend
Guy: Piss off!!! get your own damn booze
Jimmy: You misunderstand I don't want a drink, I just want to talk
Guy: I don't swing that way
Jimmy: No I mean, I know how you feel, how this feel
The man still doesn't look at Jimmy he keeps staring at his glass and the bottle
Guy: Go hug a tree or something and share your feelings with someone who cares.... Damn Hippie!!!
Jimmy: I'm no damn hippie, now listen up, two years ago I was sitting right where you're sitting now and...
Guy: You ain't getting this stool I've been sitting here every night for the past month
Jimmy: No listen, I tried to drown my sorrows as well, I hit the bottom of the bottle and realized that drinking isn't the answer and if you want you can too
Guy: Piss off!!!
Jimmy: If you change your mind, call me or even better come to this meeting
He puts a flyer and his card on the counter and leaves, he knows that trying to talk to the guy right now wont help anything except it made Jimmy see something valuable, he needs help getting better and stronger, he needs the X-Core title so that people will finally listen to what he has to say, course how can you help someone without accepting help for yourself
I paid my prize for my addiction, I paid dearly and in some sick and twisted way, I'm grateful for it. Although it nearly ended my life, although it took me to a place where neither life nor death felt like it mattered, it taught me to fight back. A lesson well learned, as I scraped and clawed my way back into meaningfulness, fought my demons to regain my sanity and back into life.
Many might call it a great victory, but you know I don't feel it as a victory yet, not before I stand in that ring, holding gold, reach the peak of this industry.
I have a long road ahead and until I stand at the end of that road, you might as well consider me a Deadman, cause I won't care or rest till I stand with the X-Core title held high.
Jimmy has practiced that monolog over and over again, the words keep ringing through his head as he sits to his first A.A meeting, then the second and finally after four meetings and after telling his story several times, he walks out in the cold night air. The stars are out and Jimmy stares up at them as he fills he draws a long deep breath and then closes his eye.
Jimmy: is it really worth it all?
Slowly he turns to the right and starts walking down the street, his head is spinning, but he writes it off as a combination of to much coffee and to little sleep. As he walks on he passes by several bars, suddenly stopping and staring in through a window, looking at a group of people his own age drinking, laughing and in general having fun. His eyes wanders from the group and over to a guy sitting alone at the bar having a staring contest with a bottle of Jack Daniels and the bottom of his glass.
Jimmy knows how the guy feels all to well, a couple of years ago, he would be sitting right next to the guy, but not anymore. He just keeps standing staring in at the guy, almost feeling sorry for him, but then turns to walk away. After a few something deep inside him pulls him back, maybe its his own need to make talk or maybe the program has finally worked its way into his inner self, all he knows is that he wants to talk to the guy.
The bar is filled with the smell of cigarettes and stale beer, around him there are a mix up of drunken oldtimers and young people partying. Jimmy hardly notices them as he walks over and sits down next to the guy at the bar
Jimmy: Hey my name is Jimmy, you seem like you could need a friend
Guy: Piss off!!! get your own damn booze
Jimmy: You misunderstand I don't want a drink, I just want to talk
Guy: I don't swing that way
Jimmy: No I mean, I know how you feel, how this feel
The man still doesn't look at Jimmy he keeps staring at his glass and the bottle
Guy: Go hug a tree or something and share your feelings with someone who cares.... Damn Hippie!!!
Jimmy: I'm no damn hippie, now listen up, two years ago I was sitting right where you're sitting now and...
Guy: You ain't getting this stool I've been sitting here every night for the past month
Jimmy: No listen, I tried to drown my sorrows as well, I hit the bottom of the bottle and realized that drinking isn't the answer and if you want you can too
Guy: Piss off!!!
Jimmy: If you change your mind, call me or even better come to this meeting
He puts a flyer and his card on the counter and leaves, he knows that trying to talk to the guy right now wont help anything except it made Jimmy see something valuable, he needs help getting better and stronger, he needs the X-Core title so that people will finally listen to what he has to say, course how can you help someone without accepting help for yourself