Post by Roxi Johnson on Mar 29, 2013 14:05:46 GMT -5
Well, that was certainly… a lot.
So, We come to what is a historic match in the making. Roxi Johnson vs. Bliss, part II in a cage match. I can’t explain how excited I am. Because Bliss apparently, REALLY wants my title. And that, makes it all the more fun.
I can’t say I’m surprised AJ Stark and I lost last week. Drake is the world champion. And I can’t say I’m surprised that Drake had his gang make sure we didn’t win. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that 6 on 2 isn’t really fair. But I’m not going to complain. I’m come to expect it at this point.
I don’t blame theme for using their numbers advantage. In war, you need to use every advantage you have at your disposal if you really want to win. But the thing is, I do not care how long it takes, or if I have go through every single member of the group to get the job done, I will do it. I’ve got nothing but time. So while Drake and Bliss won this battle in the war, the war itself, is far, far from over. I hope that they know that.
This was merely a small skirmish and it proves nothing. This war will be fought, and there will be casualties. I’m aware of that. I assume Drake is as well. It’s why I am not asking for people to join me outright. I’ll never deny anyone of wanting their shot at the AOA, but I do not expect people to fight shoulder to shoulder with me. It’s what I do. It’s my job, I took on this task, and I intend to see if through, even if it means that in the end, there are no survivors. That is what I’m willing to do.
So I guess that brings me to Sunday. A cage match is always a brutal, barbaric match, but after what Bliss and I did in a street fight, I’m more than a little excited to get into a cage with her, regardless of what she thinks, or how she tries to portray herself. She certainly had that cocky edge to her when she put out that piece of promotional work, didn’t’ she. In fact, She’s pretty angry. But, let’s be real here for a moment. What did Bliss really say, besides a lot of incomplete thoughts and nonsense to make herself sound intelligent? What great argument did she make that gave her any sort of edge?
Oh, that’s right. She didn’t do any of that.
She told me the gloves were off. Uh-oh. So she had me interested to say the least, then, it all came apart. Because she talked a lot, and she spoke in an angry tone and she cursed a lot. Typical. Nothing really new from the “Goddess” there. She called me names, she rambled on and on about hating stuff and people. Once again nothing new. She said pretty much the same thing she’s been saying for the past month, and thus far, using that, she’s a whopping 1 for 3 against me. Yes, she beat me last week. Congrats, Kahlan, you proved that after a bunch of interference, and smacking me with MY title, you can pin me. Good for you. I heard you say that, and I hope you cherish it. Really I do. Because it’s quite obvious you need any kind of help you can get.
I listened to you, and you said your piece, and told me what you’ve been telling me for the past month. You are better than me, I’m not in your league, and all that jazz that I’ve been hearing.
Then, you…smashed a gargoyle with a sledgehammer.
Bliss, I’m going to be honest here, I am so confused right now that, I’m not really sure what to say to you. I am so utterly lost that it’s pretty ridiculous. I mean, it’s funny that you ended your promo by asking if I had any questions, because after all that, I have so many questions. I listened to you, and what you have to say, and boy did you have a lot to say. I guess the first question is the most obvious.
Did you really destroy private property, on film, in an effort to make me angry?
I’m almost positive that, that’s a crime. I don’t think you can do that. I mean, seriously. Then, to top it all off, you released that on national television…I had to re-watch that over and over just to make sure it was real. I think you might get into a little trouble for that. MPW will almost have to pay the damages on that. So, great job getting the company that pays you in trouble for what you thought was a really clever promo plot device.
I mean, I don’t OWN Herman the Gargoyle you know. And this city has a lot of gargoyle statues, are you sure it was the right one? Are you positive that you didn’t just waste your time as well as your breath? That seemed like a really silly thing to do I must say. Humorous, but silly.
I think it would have been a lot more relevant that was you know, two weeks ago. If you had done that two weeks ago, when we actually had a match that used weapons, it might have meant something. Now, it just looks like you, trying really hard what you COULD have done in the Street fight we had. Here’s the thing Bliss: If you could have done it, you should have. But, you didn’t, so therefore, smashing someone else’s property with a sledgehammer is utterly pointless. It has no bearing on this match, It just means you can smash things with a hammer in your hand. And that, while it may look cool, isn’t really all that impressive. I mean, literally ANYONE can do that. I mean, I’ve fought people who don’t even need a hammer to do it. So, to me, it was…uninspired to say the least.
Having said all that, I like Herman, he’s my buddy, my confidant. But my life doesn’t exactly revolve around him. He’s a great listener, but you have to know when to shut up sometimes. It’s kinda how I know it wasn’t Herman, since he would have told you to shut up about three words into your less than impressive little speech.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say so much…yet…so little, the way you did. What exactly where you trying to accomplish with this? What, am I supposed to now believe because you smashed a gargoyle with a sledgehammer that you have suddenly become better than I have? That in addition to Culinary skills, you have a budding future in construction or demolition? What was it you were trying to go for there? My only answer is just, too ridiculous to say, because you are better than that. Let me get this straight: Your objective for that entire promo was this:
I’ll get in Roxi’s head, by smashing a gargoyle.
It’s preposterous. It’s absurd. It’s downright laughable. What were you thinking? That I would take offense to it, because you say it was Herman? That I would be thrown off my game because you are passable with a sledgehammer? I don’t get it Bliss. You openly commit a crime that will bring some heavy damaged to MPW’s PR department. Probably some fines, and quite possibly jail time… to get to me. Well, I laughed, does that count for anything? It just furthers the point that you are desperate. That you have undoubtedly lost the edge, and are searching for any time of edge you can think of.
But again, that’s what I think you were going for. Maybe you dislike gargoyle statues? Maybe you watched Ghostbusters recently, and you think they may come to life and turn you into the Gatekeeper. And Drake the Key master? Again, I’m guessing here, because otherwise, that first explanation is the one I have to go with, and it’s…really pathetic. It’s just wrong. You can’t possibly be that naïve, can you? You are smarter than that, and yet, you sunk to a level of cheap shot artist in your promos.
And what exactly was said in that Supervillain-esque monologue? I have to be honest here, I don’t really know, since the site of Bliss smashing a gargoyle was about the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen on MPW TV. And I once saw TJ Pain hassle a convenient store clerk for no real reason. It’s kind of hard to take a person seriously when they act like a complete lunatic for real explainable reason. I guess I should just knock over a trash can, and step on it, because it’ll make me look cooler. Oh wait, it doesn’t. Just like you doing that doesn’t make you look cool, or dangerous, or whatever it was you were going for there. It just makes you look like a complete idiot who thought it was be so bad ass when she thought of it. You ever had that happen? You know, when you think something up in your head, and you want to do it for real, and then when you run through it, it just looks stupid? That’s pretty much what happened there, Bliss. Was this like a closed set thing? Was no one else there besides the cameraman? Did he not tell you it looked silly? I going to assume no, which brings me to another question, didn’t you watch that back? Did it not occur to you that it made little to no sense? Maybe it did to you. Since you’re so crazy and all.
Split personalities. That’s something you’re coming at me with? That one part of you, is a crazy, homicidal lunatic? Is that correct? Funny, because there seems to be no difference between you, and the other personality. You know, being different , Which is pretty common among people with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is this “Other” just…meaner? Also, pretty funny how you display no symptoms of this. All it takes is a Google search to look this kind of stuff up, and when I hear you speak, I watch you interact with people and things, and you’re pretty much the same. You really don’t display any traces of Dissociative Identity Disorder at all. Oh wait, you did, like once or twice, like a month ago. Before and after, it seems that you were inexplicably cured of this, but now, now that it’s time for a big match, you seem to be all crazied up again.
So, the question how did I know a person who doesn’t know themselves is a pretty curious one, coming from you, when you seem to kinda not have anything really medically wrong with you. I mean, ignorance isn’t exactly a medical condition. You know, Kenneth Bianci tried that very same defense when he was interrogated by police after being arrested for the Hillside Stranglings. Turns out he didn’t have the disease either. But you’re not on trial here Bliss. You’re not trying to hide anything, so why are you clinging to this? Why are you attempting to play these games when it’s quite obvious that you have no reason to do so? Again, I struggled with this for a long time, and I can really only come to one conclusion, which again, is so preposterous that it can’t be real:
You enjoy making fun of people with real medical disorders.
That….that can’t be right. You would have to be one horrible human being to do such a ridiculous thing. I mean, if that’s true, you are a terrible, terrible person. What is wrong with you? How could you think that that is okay? Maybe you really are crazy, or just stupid. If you really have Dissociative Identity Disorder, you should probably see a doctor, and you really shouldn’t be handling anything heavy or sharp. Nor should you be employed by this company. Since it’s not really safe to work around you if you have what you say you have, but do not exhibit any symptoms of. So, again, I’m not quite sure what to make of you at this point after this information have come to light. But, maybe you ARE crazy.
Crazy in the sense that you can condemn the use of weapons in one breath, then use a weapon seconds later. Or how you called me a hypocrite but provided no evidence to this. Do you know what the word means? It means preaching against one thing then doing that thing yourself. When exactly did I do this? Because I don’t mention that I lose? What? Again, I am really confused here. When did I say I don’t lose? Or never lost a match? I mentioned that I was TV champion, and that I lost it. And I lost to Drake. I’ve said that before. How does this make me a hypocrite? I say I’m better than you. And this Sin City title I took from you, pretty much proves that. I say I’m better than a lot of the roster, and I’ve beaten almost all the roster, so that proves that. Hypocrisy is what you do. You’re promo when exactly like this:
*Says she hates using weapons in wrestling.*
*Uses Sledgehammer to destroy gargoyle for a wrestling promo.*
That, my dear, is hypocrisy. Or, the other option is, you are an outright liar. Pathological liar at this point. There have been so many statements that have come out of your mouth that are just…wrong. Like me being a loser. I do believe my wins outnumber my losses in MPW. I do believe I held the TV title for over 100 days. I do believe I was undefeated for three months. Exactly how does that make me a loser? And, if I am a loser, and I beat you…what does that make you? You would be worse than a loser, correct? And to top that off, I beat you, for a title, that you are now calling unimportant. Yet you want it back. Yet more blatant hypocrisy, but I’m beginning to expect nothing less for you.
Here’s the thing Bliss: This title is important again, because I have it. Did anyone care when you were walking around with it? Not really. I’m sure you did, and I guess Drake did, but your match at Army of One wasn’t a big attraction. It wasn’t the focus of that, or any show. No, it was…just a title that Bliss had. Now, it’s a title I have, and people want to know how long I can hold it for. People want to know if I can make this title even more important. It’s not that you want it back. I could be defending against Jason X, or Literally ANYONE else, and it would be more important than when you had it. I mean, other than Drake…who did you even defend it against? I had a triple threat ladder match. I had a Hell in a Cell match. Defending the TV title which you deem worthless. And you…defended against this guy or that girl or…did you? I don’t remember. It’s okay. No one else does either. This Sin City title is now far more interesting than you could ever make it. I’ve proven that already.
Unsanctioned main event. You giving chase to try to bring this title to the AOA. Where the title goes to rot around your waist. That’s the difference between you and me. I make titles interesting, and you suck the life out of them. I staked my claim as the best TV champion in history, while you have been a 2 time Sin City champion with really uninteresting reigns.
But this third time will be interesting right? It will be the time when you finally make something out of it. But as I said, you’ve hit your peak. It’s one of the reasons why you so vehemently wanted this rematch, because it’s the best you can hope for. See, when I lost the TV title, I didn’t ask for a rematch because I was ready to move on to this title. And when I finally lose this belt, I’ll be ready to face the world champion. Each title has been a step in my evolution. This belt represents the best you can do. Without it, you’re just the girl in AOA. Oh yeah, that‘s right, you are the only one in the AOA without a championship. Must be a real hassle when you’re at the bar or whatever and everyone pulls out a title but you.
It would almost be a shame when you lose this cage match, and go home with no title again, if it wasn’t so fitting.
Is this what you wanted me to do, Bliss, I should flaunt the fact that I am the Sin City champion? I should rub it in your face over and over again because that’s what champions do? That clearly indicates to me that you don’t know how to be a champion.
Is this what you meant by answering your arguments? Is this what you wanted? I just want you to remember, you asked me to do this. I could go line for line in your promo and point out all the glaring problems with it, but I would like to leave you with some dignity. I mean, I’m not a cruel heartless person or anything. But I think I did a pretty good job of it already, and that was really with three sentences and what you hoped would pass as clever and bold.
New flash: It didn’t.
You’re so angry you don’t even know what you’re doing anymore. You want to win the title, but this match isn’t about the title, you say this, then you say that, you’re tripping over your own words and fumbling the ball at the goal line, It’s painfully obvious that you have lost your edge and you are grasping at straws. Throwing everything at the wall and hoping something sticks. That something you say will stick with me or make me think twice about the match. Well, you at least get an “A” for effort, but in 4 promos against me, you’ve said nothing that I either haven’t already heard, or haven’t already completely dismissed in return. Have you already run out of clever one liners? Oh wait, you threw a hulk reference, a Kansas reference, and in between you managed to make a fool of yourself once again in a desperate attempt to prove yourself as some kind of monster.
I’ve fought monsters, and you, are no monster.
Is there anything else you want to try? I got a suggestion for you: Can you complete a thought or make a claim with legitimate facts behind it next time? Can you make a point that is actually relevant to this match? I’m begging you Bliss, I don’t think I’m asking for too much.
But then again, it’s you, Bliss. You are the mistress of casually casting judgment and not expecting to get called on it.
Do you really want to know what I found the most hilarious in that promo you just cut? The idea that I am jealous of you for being with Drake. That one really made me laugh. I had to pause the promo. I swear I even snorted. Zelda told me so, and I didn’t want to believe her. Even she said it was stupid And she sometimes talks to video game characters in her sleep.
This idea of me being jealous of you and your personal life is amusing. I want Zelda to shoot me in the head with an arrow if I ever become like you. I’ll deny being jealous of you, because it’s just not true. Not that that’s anything new from you, but I felt I needed to mention it.
Anyway, I suppose that I talk about this cage match, inside that cage, It’s just you and me. And as I have proven time and time again, the only way you have beaten me is when the odds are in your favor. Straight up, one on one, you threw your best at me, and you didn’t win. I have proven that without help, or another person in the match, you can’t beat me. That’s not me being smug, or arrogant, that’s me stating fact. This is a match YOU have to win Bliss. This is your one rematch, after this, you have to earn it, should you fail. And I don’t see you as a viable contender after this. Maybe you should go after that prestigious TV title. Maybe form a tag team with someone and …well, whatever you want to do, just don’t come near this Sin City title, because you, just won’t qualify as…championship material.
Oh, we’re just getting started Bliss. I hope you have something better after this. I just don’t have my hopes up any more. Because you need to understand that you will indeed have to pry this belt from my cold, dead hands to take it from me. If you think a trip to the hospital is going to stop from retaining this title, you have another thing coming. You’ll have to do better than that Kahlan.
So in closing, I’m going to make this as clear as possible So I want you to listen, extremely carefully:
You are not good enough to take this championship from me. If you were, you wouldn’t have lost it in the first place.
That’s not an arrogant remark, nor is it a cocky one. It’s simply:
The Truth.
Deal with it.
[ Roxi is getting dressed in her apartment. Zelda sits on the couch watching TV. And also Vision is around talking with them. ]
Roxi - Where is it?
Vision - What?
Sydney - What are you looking for?
Roxi - A belt.
Sydney - Check the hamper.
Roxi - Never mind. I found it.
Vision - What does she need a belt for?
Sydney - She has a date.
Vision - Really?
Sydney - Yup.
Vision - With who?
Sydney - Some guy she met online.
Vision - Hasn't she ever seen Megan is Missing? This could be really bad.
Sydney - She can take care of herself.
[ Roxi emerges from the other room ]
Roxi - I heard that you two.
Vision - Sorry.
Sydney - Well look at you all sexied up.
Roxi - Shut up, Z.
Sydney - I'm just saying, you look nice.
Roxi - I don't want to hear it. I'm just wearing a shirt and some jeans. It's not that big of a deal.
Sydney - I think you're blushing.
Roxi - Shut up, Z!
Sydney - So, where are you going?
Roxi - This is one of those "get to you know you" dates, so we're just going to...Denny's.
[ Sydney cocks an eyebrow at Roxi ]
Sydney - Denny's? Really?
Roxi - What's wrong with that. I'm a simple girl, I don't need to be wined and dined on the first date.
Sydney - Is that, you don't need to be wined and dined on the first date, or you don't need to be wined and dined on the first date to get your pants off?
[ Roxi shoots a death glare at Sydney ]
Roxi - I will kill you.
Sydney - It's just a joke.
Roxi - Whatever.
Sydney - Seriously though, Denny's, that's pretty cheap.
Roxi - I know, but it's a comfort thing. It's to break the ice.
Sydney - I don't know.
Roxi - Well, what do you think Vision?
Vision - I don't know about this Rox, You barely know this guy.
Sydney - True.
Roxi - I...I talked to him online, and he seems like a nice guy.
Vision - That's the start of every online predator story.
Roxi - Vision, I am a superhero, I can take care of myself.
Sydney - Not when you're all roofied up.
Roxi - Shut up, Z.
Vision - She has a point, Roxi. I just think that this date could end up being a bad idea.
Roxi - I can't believe you guys. I meet a guy, I happen to like him, and you guys turn him into the world person ever.
Vision - We just...don't want you to get hurt. That's all.
Roxi - I'll be fine. But, if you're that worried, I'll keep the communicator open for you.
Vision - That would certainly make me feel better.
Roxi - Fine.
Vision - Thank you.
Roxi - Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
Vision - Good luck.
Sydney - Later, come back soon so we can watch Cheers.
[ Flash forward to Roxi meeting Ted outside the Denny's. ]
Ted - Hey.
Roxi - Hey.
Ted - How are you.
Roxi - I'm okay, you?
Ted - Great. You uh, ready to get something to eat?
Roxi - Sure.
[ They enter the Denny's and eventually sit down to eat. ]
Ted - So, uh, How've you been?
Roxi - I'm good, we...we kinda went over this already.
Ted - I'm sorry. I guess I'm just nervous.
Roxi - It's okay. I don't bite.
Ted - Yeah. *chuckle* Well, uh, what do you do for a living?
Roxi - I'm a pro wrestler.
Ted - Really?
Roxi - Yeah.
Ted - No way. Someone as pretty as you?
Roxi - I know, it surprises some people, but it's the truth.
Ted - That's...crazy.
Roxi - What about you?
Ted - Oh uh...I...It's stupid.
Roxi - What?
Ted - I'm actually kind of embarrassed.
Roxi - It's okay.
Ted - I don't know.
Roxi - C'mon...
Ted - I...uh...do children's parties. I'm a clown.
Roxi - Really?
Ted - Yeah...
Roxi - That's cool.
Ted - You think?
Roxi - Yeah, you're like a modern day Bozo.
Ted - Who's Bozo?
Roxi - ....
How can you be a clown and not know who Bozo is? That is...not right.
[Flash to later on in the date, where the two laugh over drinks.]
Ted - So, Who's your favorite James Bond?
Roxi - Roger Moore.
Ted - Really?
Roxi - Yes.
Ted - Why?
Roxi - I like his movies.
Ted - You don't like Connery?
Roxi - I like Connery.
Ted - But you said you like Roger Moore
Roxi - I know. You asked my favorite
Ted - I know, it's just an interesting choice.
Roxi - Why? It's a matter of personal preference.
Ted - I know, it's just that not many people would choose Moore.
Roxi - I'm not many people.
Ted - No kidding.
Roxi - What's that supposed to mean?
Ted - Nothing, it's just you. You're different.
Roxi - I know that much. You're tone indicated something different.
Ted - No, I was just agreeing.
Roxi - You sure?
Ted - Yes.
Roxi - Good.
You know, I'm beginning to kinda like this guy. But I guess I should get to know him a little more.
Roxi - Why aren't you eating?
Ted - I've lost my appetite
Roxi - This was your idea.
Ted - I know.
Roxi - You were hungry when we came in here.
Ted - I know, I just don't like my tuna sandwitch to have this much mayo on it.
Roxi - So send it back.
Ted - Nah.
Roxi - So, you're just going to sit here and complain about and not eat it, or send it back?
Ted - Yes.
Roxi - Why?
Ted - I don't want to seem difficult.
Roxi - Difficult? What, is this going on your permanent record or something?
Ted - No, but I don't want the chef spitting in my food like in "waiting."
Roxi - We're in a Denny's.
Ted - That doesn't mean anything.
Roxi - Sure it does, I would expect that from some place like Chili's but not here.
Ted - Don't act like it doesn't happen
Roxi - I'm sure it does, but not as often as you'd think.
Ted - It could happen.
Roxi - Yes, I'm sure that that chef is waiting for just one more guy to complain, and BAM!
Ted - Could be.
Roxi - Just... send it back.
Ted - No.
Roxi - What?, are you afraid of making a scene? That's the problem with people today, everyone is so scared to say anything. If more people stood up, we wouldn't have this problem.
Ted - I think plenty of people stand up, but I just think standing up for a tuna sandwich with too much mayo is a bit extreme that's all.
Roxi - So, what isn't too extreme?
Ted - Steaks. Too rare, not rare enough.
Roxi - So beef hold more value than fish?
Ted - No. And the fish isn't the problem in this case, it's the amount of mayo.
Roxi - But still, both of these two items are prepared incorrectly, as in not to you're liking. But on of these things you would instantly send back, and the other, you would not?
Ted - Like you said earlier, personal preference.
Roxi - Touche'
[ Roxi arrives home later Sydney is still in the couch. ]
Sydney - Welcome back. How did it go?
Roxi - He's a nice guy.
Sydney - And...
Roxi - And what?
Sydney - What happened?
Roxi - Nothing...
Sydney - Nothing?
Roxi - Yeah.
Sydney - Lame.
Roxi - What did you think was going to happen?
Sydney - At least something.
Roxi - Sorry to disappoint.
Sydney - So, what's he like?
Roxi - He does children's parties. He's a part clown.
Sydney - So he's a like a Bozo the clown.
Roxi - That's what I said.
Sydney - Funny.
Roxi - But he didn't know who Bozo is.
Sydney - What?
Roxi - I know.
Sydney - How can he be a clown and not know who Bozo is.
Roxi - I was thinking the same thing.
Sydney - But otherwise?
Roxi - I think it went well.
Sydney - You going to see him again?
Roxi - Yeah...I think so.
This was a good night. I think I finally found a guy who is genuine, and good, and a great guy. Well, I guess if Herman really was destroyed, Teddy can replace him.
Wait, did I just call him Teddy?
...I think I like this guy.
So, We come to what is a historic match in the making. Roxi Johnson vs. Bliss, part II in a cage match. I can’t explain how excited I am. Because Bliss apparently, REALLY wants my title. And that, makes it all the more fun.
I can’t say I’m surprised AJ Stark and I lost last week. Drake is the world champion. And I can’t say I’m surprised that Drake had his gang make sure we didn’t win. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that 6 on 2 isn’t really fair. But I’m not going to complain. I’m come to expect it at this point.
I don’t blame theme for using their numbers advantage. In war, you need to use every advantage you have at your disposal if you really want to win. But the thing is, I do not care how long it takes, or if I have go through every single member of the group to get the job done, I will do it. I’ve got nothing but time. So while Drake and Bliss won this battle in the war, the war itself, is far, far from over. I hope that they know that.
This was merely a small skirmish and it proves nothing. This war will be fought, and there will be casualties. I’m aware of that. I assume Drake is as well. It’s why I am not asking for people to join me outright. I’ll never deny anyone of wanting their shot at the AOA, but I do not expect people to fight shoulder to shoulder with me. It’s what I do. It’s my job, I took on this task, and I intend to see if through, even if it means that in the end, there are no survivors. That is what I’m willing to do.
So I guess that brings me to Sunday. A cage match is always a brutal, barbaric match, but after what Bliss and I did in a street fight, I’m more than a little excited to get into a cage with her, regardless of what she thinks, or how she tries to portray herself. She certainly had that cocky edge to her when she put out that piece of promotional work, didn’t’ she. In fact, She’s pretty angry. But, let’s be real here for a moment. What did Bliss really say, besides a lot of incomplete thoughts and nonsense to make herself sound intelligent? What great argument did she make that gave her any sort of edge?
Oh, that’s right. She didn’t do any of that.
She told me the gloves were off. Uh-oh. So she had me interested to say the least, then, it all came apart. Because she talked a lot, and she spoke in an angry tone and she cursed a lot. Typical. Nothing really new from the “Goddess” there. She called me names, she rambled on and on about hating stuff and people. Once again nothing new. She said pretty much the same thing she’s been saying for the past month, and thus far, using that, she’s a whopping 1 for 3 against me. Yes, she beat me last week. Congrats, Kahlan, you proved that after a bunch of interference, and smacking me with MY title, you can pin me. Good for you. I heard you say that, and I hope you cherish it. Really I do. Because it’s quite obvious you need any kind of help you can get.
I listened to you, and you said your piece, and told me what you’ve been telling me for the past month. You are better than me, I’m not in your league, and all that jazz that I’ve been hearing.
Then, you…smashed a gargoyle with a sledgehammer.
Bliss, I’m going to be honest here, I am so confused right now that, I’m not really sure what to say to you. I am so utterly lost that it’s pretty ridiculous. I mean, it’s funny that you ended your promo by asking if I had any questions, because after all that, I have so many questions. I listened to you, and what you have to say, and boy did you have a lot to say. I guess the first question is the most obvious.
Did you really destroy private property, on film, in an effort to make me angry?
I’m almost positive that, that’s a crime. I don’t think you can do that. I mean, seriously. Then, to top it all off, you released that on national television…I had to re-watch that over and over just to make sure it was real. I think you might get into a little trouble for that. MPW will almost have to pay the damages on that. So, great job getting the company that pays you in trouble for what you thought was a really clever promo plot device.
I mean, I don’t OWN Herman the Gargoyle you know. And this city has a lot of gargoyle statues, are you sure it was the right one? Are you positive that you didn’t just waste your time as well as your breath? That seemed like a really silly thing to do I must say. Humorous, but silly.
I think it would have been a lot more relevant that was you know, two weeks ago. If you had done that two weeks ago, when we actually had a match that used weapons, it might have meant something. Now, it just looks like you, trying really hard what you COULD have done in the Street fight we had. Here’s the thing Bliss: If you could have done it, you should have. But, you didn’t, so therefore, smashing someone else’s property with a sledgehammer is utterly pointless. It has no bearing on this match, It just means you can smash things with a hammer in your hand. And that, while it may look cool, isn’t really all that impressive. I mean, literally ANYONE can do that. I mean, I’ve fought people who don’t even need a hammer to do it. So, to me, it was…uninspired to say the least.
Having said all that, I like Herman, he’s my buddy, my confidant. But my life doesn’t exactly revolve around him. He’s a great listener, but you have to know when to shut up sometimes. It’s kinda how I know it wasn’t Herman, since he would have told you to shut up about three words into your less than impressive little speech.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say so much…yet…so little, the way you did. What exactly where you trying to accomplish with this? What, am I supposed to now believe because you smashed a gargoyle with a sledgehammer that you have suddenly become better than I have? That in addition to Culinary skills, you have a budding future in construction or demolition? What was it you were trying to go for there? My only answer is just, too ridiculous to say, because you are better than that. Let me get this straight: Your objective for that entire promo was this:
I’ll get in Roxi’s head, by smashing a gargoyle.
It’s preposterous. It’s absurd. It’s downright laughable. What were you thinking? That I would take offense to it, because you say it was Herman? That I would be thrown off my game because you are passable with a sledgehammer? I don’t get it Bliss. You openly commit a crime that will bring some heavy damaged to MPW’s PR department. Probably some fines, and quite possibly jail time… to get to me. Well, I laughed, does that count for anything? It just furthers the point that you are desperate. That you have undoubtedly lost the edge, and are searching for any time of edge you can think of.
But again, that’s what I think you were going for. Maybe you dislike gargoyle statues? Maybe you watched Ghostbusters recently, and you think they may come to life and turn you into the Gatekeeper. And Drake the Key master? Again, I’m guessing here, because otherwise, that first explanation is the one I have to go with, and it’s…really pathetic. It’s just wrong. You can’t possibly be that naïve, can you? You are smarter than that, and yet, you sunk to a level of cheap shot artist in your promos.
And what exactly was said in that Supervillain-esque monologue? I have to be honest here, I don’t really know, since the site of Bliss smashing a gargoyle was about the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen on MPW TV. And I once saw TJ Pain hassle a convenient store clerk for no real reason. It’s kind of hard to take a person seriously when they act like a complete lunatic for real explainable reason. I guess I should just knock over a trash can, and step on it, because it’ll make me look cooler. Oh wait, it doesn’t. Just like you doing that doesn’t make you look cool, or dangerous, or whatever it was you were going for there. It just makes you look like a complete idiot who thought it was be so bad ass when she thought of it. You ever had that happen? You know, when you think something up in your head, and you want to do it for real, and then when you run through it, it just looks stupid? That’s pretty much what happened there, Bliss. Was this like a closed set thing? Was no one else there besides the cameraman? Did he not tell you it looked silly? I going to assume no, which brings me to another question, didn’t you watch that back? Did it not occur to you that it made little to no sense? Maybe it did to you. Since you’re so crazy and all.
Split personalities. That’s something you’re coming at me with? That one part of you, is a crazy, homicidal lunatic? Is that correct? Funny, because there seems to be no difference between you, and the other personality. You know, being different , Which is pretty common among people with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is this “Other” just…meaner? Also, pretty funny how you display no symptoms of this. All it takes is a Google search to look this kind of stuff up, and when I hear you speak, I watch you interact with people and things, and you’re pretty much the same. You really don’t display any traces of Dissociative Identity Disorder at all. Oh wait, you did, like once or twice, like a month ago. Before and after, it seems that you were inexplicably cured of this, but now, now that it’s time for a big match, you seem to be all crazied up again.
So, the question how did I know a person who doesn’t know themselves is a pretty curious one, coming from you, when you seem to kinda not have anything really medically wrong with you. I mean, ignorance isn’t exactly a medical condition. You know, Kenneth Bianci tried that very same defense when he was interrogated by police after being arrested for the Hillside Stranglings. Turns out he didn’t have the disease either. But you’re not on trial here Bliss. You’re not trying to hide anything, so why are you clinging to this? Why are you attempting to play these games when it’s quite obvious that you have no reason to do so? Again, I struggled with this for a long time, and I can really only come to one conclusion, which again, is so preposterous that it can’t be real:
You enjoy making fun of people with real medical disorders.
That….that can’t be right. You would have to be one horrible human being to do such a ridiculous thing. I mean, if that’s true, you are a terrible, terrible person. What is wrong with you? How could you think that that is okay? Maybe you really are crazy, or just stupid. If you really have Dissociative Identity Disorder, you should probably see a doctor, and you really shouldn’t be handling anything heavy or sharp. Nor should you be employed by this company. Since it’s not really safe to work around you if you have what you say you have, but do not exhibit any symptoms of. So, again, I’m not quite sure what to make of you at this point after this information have come to light. But, maybe you ARE crazy.
Crazy in the sense that you can condemn the use of weapons in one breath, then use a weapon seconds later. Or how you called me a hypocrite but provided no evidence to this. Do you know what the word means? It means preaching against one thing then doing that thing yourself. When exactly did I do this? Because I don’t mention that I lose? What? Again, I am really confused here. When did I say I don’t lose? Or never lost a match? I mentioned that I was TV champion, and that I lost it. And I lost to Drake. I’ve said that before. How does this make me a hypocrite? I say I’m better than you. And this Sin City title I took from you, pretty much proves that. I say I’m better than a lot of the roster, and I’ve beaten almost all the roster, so that proves that. Hypocrisy is what you do. You’re promo when exactly like this:
*Says she hates using weapons in wrestling.*
*Uses Sledgehammer to destroy gargoyle for a wrestling promo.*
That, my dear, is hypocrisy. Or, the other option is, you are an outright liar. Pathological liar at this point. There have been so many statements that have come out of your mouth that are just…wrong. Like me being a loser. I do believe my wins outnumber my losses in MPW. I do believe I held the TV title for over 100 days. I do believe I was undefeated for three months. Exactly how does that make me a loser? And, if I am a loser, and I beat you…what does that make you? You would be worse than a loser, correct? And to top that off, I beat you, for a title, that you are now calling unimportant. Yet you want it back. Yet more blatant hypocrisy, but I’m beginning to expect nothing less for you.
Here’s the thing Bliss: This title is important again, because I have it. Did anyone care when you were walking around with it? Not really. I’m sure you did, and I guess Drake did, but your match at Army of One wasn’t a big attraction. It wasn’t the focus of that, or any show. No, it was…just a title that Bliss had. Now, it’s a title I have, and people want to know how long I can hold it for. People want to know if I can make this title even more important. It’s not that you want it back. I could be defending against Jason X, or Literally ANYONE else, and it would be more important than when you had it. I mean, other than Drake…who did you even defend it against? I had a triple threat ladder match. I had a Hell in a Cell match. Defending the TV title which you deem worthless. And you…defended against this guy or that girl or…did you? I don’t remember. It’s okay. No one else does either. This Sin City title is now far more interesting than you could ever make it. I’ve proven that already.
Unsanctioned main event. You giving chase to try to bring this title to the AOA. Where the title goes to rot around your waist. That’s the difference between you and me. I make titles interesting, and you suck the life out of them. I staked my claim as the best TV champion in history, while you have been a 2 time Sin City champion with really uninteresting reigns.
But this third time will be interesting right? It will be the time when you finally make something out of it. But as I said, you’ve hit your peak. It’s one of the reasons why you so vehemently wanted this rematch, because it’s the best you can hope for. See, when I lost the TV title, I didn’t ask for a rematch because I was ready to move on to this title. And when I finally lose this belt, I’ll be ready to face the world champion. Each title has been a step in my evolution. This belt represents the best you can do. Without it, you’re just the girl in AOA. Oh yeah, that‘s right, you are the only one in the AOA without a championship. Must be a real hassle when you’re at the bar or whatever and everyone pulls out a title but you.
It would almost be a shame when you lose this cage match, and go home with no title again, if it wasn’t so fitting.
Is this what you wanted me to do, Bliss, I should flaunt the fact that I am the Sin City champion? I should rub it in your face over and over again because that’s what champions do? That clearly indicates to me that you don’t know how to be a champion.
Is this what you meant by answering your arguments? Is this what you wanted? I just want you to remember, you asked me to do this. I could go line for line in your promo and point out all the glaring problems with it, but I would like to leave you with some dignity. I mean, I’m not a cruel heartless person or anything. But I think I did a pretty good job of it already, and that was really with three sentences and what you hoped would pass as clever and bold.
New flash: It didn’t.
You’re so angry you don’t even know what you’re doing anymore. You want to win the title, but this match isn’t about the title, you say this, then you say that, you’re tripping over your own words and fumbling the ball at the goal line, It’s painfully obvious that you have lost your edge and you are grasping at straws. Throwing everything at the wall and hoping something sticks. That something you say will stick with me or make me think twice about the match. Well, you at least get an “A” for effort, but in 4 promos against me, you’ve said nothing that I either haven’t already heard, or haven’t already completely dismissed in return. Have you already run out of clever one liners? Oh wait, you threw a hulk reference, a Kansas reference, and in between you managed to make a fool of yourself once again in a desperate attempt to prove yourself as some kind of monster.
I’ve fought monsters, and you, are no monster.
Is there anything else you want to try? I got a suggestion for you: Can you complete a thought or make a claim with legitimate facts behind it next time? Can you make a point that is actually relevant to this match? I’m begging you Bliss, I don’t think I’m asking for too much.
But then again, it’s you, Bliss. You are the mistress of casually casting judgment and not expecting to get called on it.
Do you really want to know what I found the most hilarious in that promo you just cut? The idea that I am jealous of you for being with Drake. That one really made me laugh. I had to pause the promo. I swear I even snorted. Zelda told me so, and I didn’t want to believe her. Even she said it was stupid And she sometimes talks to video game characters in her sleep.
This idea of me being jealous of you and your personal life is amusing. I want Zelda to shoot me in the head with an arrow if I ever become like you. I’ll deny being jealous of you, because it’s just not true. Not that that’s anything new from you, but I felt I needed to mention it.
Anyway, I suppose that I talk about this cage match, inside that cage, It’s just you and me. And as I have proven time and time again, the only way you have beaten me is when the odds are in your favor. Straight up, one on one, you threw your best at me, and you didn’t win. I have proven that without help, or another person in the match, you can’t beat me. That’s not me being smug, or arrogant, that’s me stating fact. This is a match YOU have to win Bliss. This is your one rematch, after this, you have to earn it, should you fail. And I don’t see you as a viable contender after this. Maybe you should go after that prestigious TV title. Maybe form a tag team with someone and …well, whatever you want to do, just don’t come near this Sin City title, because you, just won’t qualify as…championship material.
Oh, we’re just getting started Bliss. I hope you have something better after this. I just don’t have my hopes up any more. Because you need to understand that you will indeed have to pry this belt from my cold, dead hands to take it from me. If you think a trip to the hospital is going to stop from retaining this title, you have another thing coming. You’ll have to do better than that Kahlan.
So in closing, I’m going to make this as clear as possible So I want you to listen, extremely carefully:
You are not good enough to take this championship from me. If you were, you wouldn’t have lost it in the first place.
That’s not an arrogant remark, nor is it a cocky one. It’s simply:
The Truth.
Deal with it.
[ Roxi is getting dressed in her apartment. Zelda sits on the couch watching TV. And also Vision is around talking with them. ]
Roxi - Where is it?
Vision - What?
Sydney - What are you looking for?
Roxi - A belt.
Sydney - Check the hamper.
Roxi - Never mind. I found it.
Vision - What does she need a belt for?
Sydney - She has a date.
Vision - Really?
Sydney - Yup.
Vision - With who?
Sydney - Some guy she met online.
Vision - Hasn't she ever seen Megan is Missing? This could be really bad.
Sydney - She can take care of herself.
[ Roxi emerges from the other room ]
Roxi - I heard that you two.
Vision - Sorry.
Sydney - Well look at you all sexied up.
Roxi - Shut up, Z.
Sydney - I'm just saying, you look nice.
Roxi - I don't want to hear it. I'm just wearing a shirt and some jeans. It's not that big of a deal.
Sydney - I think you're blushing.
Roxi - Shut up, Z!
Sydney - So, where are you going?
Roxi - This is one of those "get to you know you" dates, so we're just going to...Denny's.
[ Sydney cocks an eyebrow at Roxi ]
Sydney - Denny's? Really?
Roxi - What's wrong with that. I'm a simple girl, I don't need to be wined and dined on the first date.
Sydney - Is that, you don't need to be wined and dined on the first date, or you don't need to be wined and dined on the first date to get your pants off?
[ Roxi shoots a death glare at Sydney ]
Roxi - I will kill you.
Sydney - It's just a joke.
Roxi - Whatever.
Sydney - Seriously though, Denny's, that's pretty cheap.
Roxi - I know, but it's a comfort thing. It's to break the ice.
Sydney - I don't know.
Roxi - Well, what do you think Vision?
Vision - I don't know about this Rox, You barely know this guy.
Sydney - True.
Roxi - I...I talked to him online, and he seems like a nice guy.
Vision - That's the start of every online predator story.
Roxi - Vision, I am a superhero, I can take care of myself.
Sydney - Not when you're all roofied up.
Roxi - Shut up, Z.
Vision - She has a point, Roxi. I just think that this date could end up being a bad idea.
Roxi - I can't believe you guys. I meet a guy, I happen to like him, and you guys turn him into the world person ever.
Vision - We just...don't want you to get hurt. That's all.
Roxi - I'll be fine. But, if you're that worried, I'll keep the communicator open for you.
Vision - That would certainly make me feel better.
Roxi - Fine.
Vision - Thank you.
Roxi - Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
Vision - Good luck.
Sydney - Later, come back soon so we can watch Cheers.
[ Flash forward to Roxi meeting Ted outside the Denny's. ]
Ted - Hey.
Roxi - Hey.
Ted - How are you.
Roxi - I'm okay, you?
Ted - Great. You uh, ready to get something to eat?
Roxi - Sure.
[ They enter the Denny's and eventually sit down to eat. ]
Ted - So, uh, How've you been?
Roxi - I'm good, we...we kinda went over this already.
Ted - I'm sorry. I guess I'm just nervous.
Roxi - It's okay. I don't bite.
Ted - Yeah. *chuckle* Well, uh, what do you do for a living?
Roxi - I'm a pro wrestler.
Ted - Really?
Roxi - Yeah.
Ted - No way. Someone as pretty as you?
Roxi - I know, it surprises some people, but it's the truth.
Ted - That's...crazy.
Roxi - What about you?
Ted - Oh uh...I...It's stupid.
Roxi - What?
Ted - I'm actually kind of embarrassed.
Roxi - It's okay.
Ted - I don't know.
Roxi - C'mon...
Ted - I...uh...do children's parties. I'm a clown.
Roxi - Really?
Ted - Yeah...
Roxi - That's cool.
Ted - You think?
Roxi - Yeah, you're like a modern day Bozo.
Ted - Who's Bozo?
Roxi - ....
How can you be a clown and not know who Bozo is? That is...not right.
[Flash to later on in the date, where the two laugh over drinks.]
Ted - So, Who's your favorite James Bond?
Roxi - Roger Moore.
Ted - Really?
Roxi - Yes.
Ted - Why?
Roxi - I like his movies.
Ted - You don't like Connery?
Roxi - I like Connery.
Ted - But you said you like Roger Moore
Roxi - I know. You asked my favorite
Ted - I know, it's just an interesting choice.
Roxi - Why? It's a matter of personal preference.
Ted - I know, it's just that not many people would choose Moore.
Roxi - I'm not many people.
Ted - No kidding.
Roxi - What's that supposed to mean?
Ted - Nothing, it's just you. You're different.
Roxi - I know that much. You're tone indicated something different.
Ted - No, I was just agreeing.
Roxi - You sure?
Ted - Yes.
Roxi - Good.
You know, I'm beginning to kinda like this guy. But I guess I should get to know him a little more.
Roxi - Why aren't you eating?
Ted - I've lost my appetite
Roxi - This was your idea.
Ted - I know.
Roxi - You were hungry when we came in here.
Ted - I know, I just don't like my tuna sandwitch to have this much mayo on it.
Roxi - So send it back.
Ted - Nah.
Roxi - So, you're just going to sit here and complain about and not eat it, or send it back?
Ted - Yes.
Roxi - Why?
Ted - I don't want to seem difficult.
Roxi - Difficult? What, is this going on your permanent record or something?
Ted - No, but I don't want the chef spitting in my food like in "waiting."
Roxi - We're in a Denny's.
Ted - That doesn't mean anything.
Roxi - Sure it does, I would expect that from some place like Chili's but not here.
Ted - Don't act like it doesn't happen
Roxi - I'm sure it does, but not as often as you'd think.
Ted - It could happen.
Roxi - Yes, I'm sure that that chef is waiting for just one more guy to complain, and BAM!
Ted - Could be.
Roxi - Just... send it back.
Ted - No.
Roxi - What?, are you afraid of making a scene? That's the problem with people today, everyone is so scared to say anything. If more people stood up, we wouldn't have this problem.
Ted - I think plenty of people stand up, but I just think standing up for a tuna sandwich with too much mayo is a bit extreme that's all.
Roxi - So, what isn't too extreme?
Ted - Steaks. Too rare, not rare enough.
Roxi - So beef hold more value than fish?
Ted - No. And the fish isn't the problem in this case, it's the amount of mayo.
Roxi - But still, both of these two items are prepared incorrectly, as in not to you're liking. But on of these things you would instantly send back, and the other, you would not?
Ted - Like you said earlier, personal preference.
Roxi - Touche'
[ Roxi arrives home later Sydney is still in the couch. ]
Sydney - Welcome back. How did it go?
Roxi - He's a nice guy.
Sydney - And...
Roxi - And what?
Sydney - What happened?
Roxi - Nothing...
Sydney - Nothing?
Roxi - Yeah.
Sydney - Lame.
Roxi - What did you think was going to happen?
Sydney - At least something.
Roxi - Sorry to disappoint.
Sydney - So, what's he like?
Roxi - He does children's parties. He's a part clown.
Sydney - So he's a like a Bozo the clown.
Roxi - That's what I said.
Sydney - Funny.
Roxi - But he didn't know who Bozo is.
Sydney - What?
Roxi - I know.
Sydney - How can he be a clown and not know who Bozo is.
Roxi - I was thinking the same thing.
Sydney - But otherwise?
Roxi - I think it went well.
Sydney - You going to see him again?
Roxi - Yeah...I think so.
This was a good night. I think I finally found a guy who is genuine, and good, and a great guy. Well, I guess if Herman really was destroyed, Teddy can replace him.
Wait, did I just call him Teddy?
...I think I like this guy.
