Post by Johnny Clash on May 2, 2013 0:19:22 GMT -5
[The scene opens in on Madd Katt walking through the doors of a Sheraton Hotel in Portland Maine. He takes his sunglasses off and squints. He looks around and back at his wife Trish next to him]
Madd Katt: I guess it’s on the second floor
[He walks further in and sees a convention hall which he walks towards. He peeks in and sees old fat Wrestling Legends sitting at wooden tables with photos for autograph on the table being sold for $20]
Madd Katt: What the hell is this?
Trish: Are you sure this is the right convention?
Madd Katt: I think so...
[Madd Katt pulls out a printed piece of paper and he puts on reading glasses to check it out]
Madd Katt: Yup, this is us. Huh. Where are all the fans.
[Just then Greg “The Hammer” Valentine walks past him]
Greg Valentine: Yeah you got the right place. All the little fuckers left. They don’t care about legends anymore they would rather watch “The E.” Well I tell ya.. Back in my day I would take Ric Flair and I would shove his face in my..
[Madd Katt just smirks at the obviously wasted Hammer as Tully Blanchard walks up to Hammer and pulls him away]
Tully Blanchard: Alright come on let’s go get you some coffee Valentine. Nice to see you Katt.
[Madd Katt nods and pats Tully on the back as they walk into the convention center]
Trish: Should we go?
Slick Gordon: Go!? Where are you gonna go! Stay and enjoy the day guy! Slick Gordon nice to meet you!
[Madd Katt shakes his hand and looks confused as to who he is]
Slick Gordon: Im the promotor that booked this event. And legally you can’t leave because you signed this contract and faxed it to me. But let’s not put a damper on this day! Head over to that corner over there where your table is, set your stuff up and let’s get the show on the road haha!
[Slick pulls out an old flip phone and takes a picture with Madd Katt, little to Katt’s knowing as the flash stuns him]
Slick Gordon: We will break at 2 for lunch, I got Churches Chicken to Cater the event!
*Slick whispers*
Slick Gordon: No one tell Virgil that. HA HA HA!
[Slick pats Katt on the back and smacks Trish’s butt as he walks past. Madd Katt goes towards him but Trish calms him down]
Trish: Let’s just go over there and try to have some fun.
Madd Katt: Id rather watch a re run of a Lucas Pain match...
[Just then Madd Katt starts to smirk as he looks at the table next to his. A tall man covered in tattoos sits there half asleep with an electronic cigarette hanging out of his mouth still smoking]
Madd Katt: Speak of the devil
[Madd Katt slaps Lucas in the back of the head as he wipes the drool off his mouth and sits up straight]
Lucas Pain: Look who decided to show. Fashionably late as usual
[Lucas stands up as he and Madd Katt hug]
Madd Katt: Good to see you finally quit
[Madd Katt points to the electric cigarette]
Lucas Pain: Oh, yeah the wife made it happen. I still sneak one in every once in a while. Sometimes non tobacco ones if you get what I’m saying..
Madd Katt: Yeah yeah I know what you mean. How is Shana?
Lucas Pain: Who?
Madd Katt: You didn’t tell me you guys were through!
Lucas Pain: Well, she left me
Madd Katt: Left you? For another man?
Lucas Pain: Kinda.....
Madd Katt: Well who? Do I know him? Do I need to kick his ass?
Trish: Do I need to kick her ass?
Lucas Pain: Didn’t see you there, hey Trish. But um... *takes deep breath* She left me for Matthew... Behrman
[Madd Katt’s eyes widen before he and Trish look at each other and burst out laughing. Madd Katt is hunched over laughing as Lucas rolls his eyes]
Lucas Pain: Yeah yeah, laugh away.
Madd Katt: ah ah ahhhhahahhhh I’m sorry but that’s too funny.
[The one fan who stands in line for a Lucas autograph speaks]
Fan: Who’s Matthew Behrman?
Madd Katt: Kid, he was the most vile creature you would have ever met back in the day. This guy managed the Four Horsemen in WEW. Greasy little rodent. Isn’t he in a wheel chair? Paralyzed from the waste down?
[Trish looks at her phone]
Trish: Says so on his wikipedia page
Madd Katt: So she left you for someone who can’t even feel it down there. HAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Lucas Pain: Hey good to see you too Katt. Glad you find this amusing just like I did when I pinned you in that Triple Cage match for the World Title.
[Madd Katt’s face goes serious again]
Madd Katt: Have to bring it up every time we meet huh? You will never let that go
Lucas Pain: I will hold that over you until the day I die
Madd Katt: Keep bringing that up and it will be sooner than later
Lucas Pain: Is that a threat big guy?
[Madd Katt laughs as Lucas sits back down and laughs. Trish unloads both Madd Katt and her Autographs for the fans]
Lucas Pain: How much you charging these people
Madd Katt: Charging?
Lucas Pain: For your autograph
[Lucas signs one and hands it to a kid as he blows the vapor smoke in to the kids face]
Madd Katt: Oh I was just going to give them out to people
Lucas Pain: Give them out? Ha. That’s right you’re still the big man over there in uh.. What’s it called... MPW right?
Madd Katt: Don’t pretend you haven’t watched it’s the hottest thing out there right now.
Lucas Pain: Meh, never really cared for the product. I liked that Aidan Caine guy but after that it got lame
Madd Katt: Well, opinions are opinions. I actually had one of your boys there for a little bit
Lucas Pain: Oh yeah? Who?
Madd Katt: AJ Stark. Fresh out of the Pain Gym. Kid lasted a little over a month. That’s when I noticed he really was your boy
Lucas Pain: Here we go, the Houston Story.
Madd Katt: Back in the day when you left us in Houston without a main event! He did the same to us
Lucas Pain: Talk about me holding grudges!
Madd Katt: Yeah yeah. We go way back man. We took this business to a whole new level
Lucas Pain: We sure did. Hell I’m beat up. I don’t know how you still do it.
Madd Katt: Well DDP Yoga helps
Lucas Pain: Who?
Madd Katt: Ah no one. I still enjoy it. That pop you get when the fans first see you walk out of that ramp. That moment when you hit your finisher and the fans go nuts.
Lucas Pain: meh, once they stop paying, I stop wrestling. You wrestling this week?
Madd Katt: Yeah a tag match. Our Sin City Champion, Roxi Johnson. Me and her are teaming up to take on Drake Hunter, our World Champion and Bliss. Age of Arrogance.
Lucas Pain: Drake Hunter, Bliss. Yeah I’ve heard of them. They were in last months PWI. Nothing but good about those AOA guys. Apparently they’re the new big thing. Kids wearing their t-shirts. Sucks you have to get in their way ha.
Madd Katt: Hey just sticking up for my company.
Lucas Pain: You know they kinda remind me of us back in the day. We did some crazy shit just like them. SWAT Team was legit. Without us I’m not sure there would even be an AOA today.
Madd Katt: It’s true but there is and I am now stepping in to help save the MPW. These guys are worse than we ever were. There is no partying and...
[Madd Katt turns from Trish]
Madd Katt: A new girl every night. No these guys are full of business and strictly business. Bliss is a spitfire and she has such a bright future in this business. It’s a shame she stooped that low to be with them. I’ve seen the Drake Hunter transformation as well. Back in NYCCW I was still training Johnny when them two started going at it. Drake is probably if not one of the best wrestlers in the world right now.
Lucas Pain: Not AJ Stark?
[The two laugh as Madd Katt shakes a kids hand and hands him an autograph. He takes a picture with Him and Trish and walks off]
Lucas Pain: See, that would have been fifty bucks in my pocket
Madd Katt: And that’s why no one’s on your line. You see, you pay to get in here you aren’t gonna pay for autographs if you’re a fan.
Lucas Pain: We are super heros to these guys, they will pay anything for us
Madd Katt: Ah, maybe back in the day, but remember who you are.
Lucas Pain: I will always be Lucas Pain
Madd Katt: No you’re Anthony Trace and you were once in these fans footsteps.
Lucas Pain: Yeah you’re right.
[Slick Gordon emerges back in to the room and starts flirting with Morgan Steele in the opposite Corner. She looks disgusted and pours water all over him and walks out. He dries himself with a souvenir towel that Val Venis is selling next to her. Val grabs it back also pissed. Gordon walks back over towards Madd Katt and Trish’s corner. He looks over at Lucas]
Lucas Pain: Can I help you.
Slick Gordon: Doesn’t look like you’re selling autographs boy. You better have my money by the end of today haha!
Lucas Pain: How about I take one of these autographs, roll it up and stick it...
Madd Katt: Easy boy easy.. Listen Slick, I don’t know who you think you are but you aren’t taking advantage of us.
Slick Gordon: Who I think I am? I’m SLICK GORDON! I put this whole damn show on! I don’t need you pathetic old broken rejects to tell me how to do me jerb!
[Lucas’s fists clench as Madd Katt puts his hand out to stop him]
Lucas Pain: You are lucky I’m on probation or you would easily be out that window right now.
Madd Katt: Lucas, calm down.....
[Madd Katt starts to smirk]
Madd Katt: Let me handle this one..
[Without a moments hesitation Madd Katt hits an MKO on to Slick Gordon through Lucas’s table. Autographs fly all over as Lucas puts his hands on his hips and look down at Slick out cold. Madd Katt gets up and groans]
Madd Katt: Oh man my knees. Gotta get the right one replaced. Well, looks like we can leave Trish. Have fun Lucas!
Lucas Pain: Fuck you Katt.
[They laugh as Lucas sits back down and smokes his vapor cigarette with a wreckage of autographs, broken table and Slick Gordon in front of him. ]
Madd Katt: Right back at ya man. See ya soon.
[Madd Katt steps over Slick’s body and helps Trish over the table. He packs his stuff up and they walk out of the room]
Trish: Well that was interesting..
Madd Katt: Just a normal day in the world of Wrestling.
