Post by Crow on Jun 15, 2013 9:53:13 GMT -5
~The scene begins as I’m coming home to my apartment in Chicago after a long night of partying. It’s 2 in the morning and I can barely stand up straight as I make it to my door. Good thing I got two girls on either side of me to keep me balanced because I am totally shit faced right now. Need to get my A game on because there was going to be a three way here in about a minute and I’m about ready to pass the fuck out. Keep it together Kurt; these two girls will finally finish off my list of chicks that I’ve banged around the world. You have no idea how hard it is to find a chick from Madagascar and Afghanistan that’s not all religious and shit.
~I reach into my pocket and pull out the key and unlock the door. We make our way in and the Playboy three way is about to begin when I feel a chill up my spine. Something’s wrong as I begin to look around the barely lit room. In the corner of the darken room, a lamp is lit with a figure sitting on a chair. I can barely make out who it is but I already know who it is.
~I have to get the girls out before the situation explodes. Talking about exploding, Kurt Jr. wants to explode after flirting with these girls for most of the night. Damn you Crow! You’re such a wet blanket. Before I can escort them out of the room, one of the girls sees the figure on the other side of the room, but she’s too drunk to understand the situation that we’re in.
Girl 1: “Who’s the creeper in the corner baby?”
~Fuck! Think Kurt think. Maybe he’s asleep. Yeah, he waited so long waiting on us that he fell asleep. Maybe we can…………*CRASH*…………..I look next to me to see one of the girls knocked over a vase that cost me 50,000 dollars. Well that sure as hell woke him up now.
Kurt Newman: “Why don’t you two go home tonight? It’s been a long night and I have to talk to my friend here.”
Girl 2: “Oh come on Kurt. My friend and I really wanted to see if it was true about you and your fat……..”
Kurt Newman: “It is but this is more important than having a three way with you two beautiful girls.”
~I can’t believe I just said that.
Girl 1: “Oh come on. Your friend could join in if he wants.”
~I don’t even want to think what’s underneath his clothes. Full of scars and shit…….all Freddy Kruger and shit.
Kurt Newman: “My friend is more into the kinky shit.”
Girl 1: “I can handle kinky.”
~Not this type of kinky darling. He’d probably rip your eye out and skull fuck your eye socket……..well that doesn’t sound to…….no, no, no, no, no. Never going to happen! Get that thought out of your head now!
Kurt Newman: “Eeehhhh, not sure about his type darling.”
~I reach into my pocket and pull out 500 dollars and give it to the two girls. They both give me kisses on my cheek and walk away. I wish I was leaving with them, but I have business to conduct with the one and only……..Crow. Sobered up now, I pull out a cigarette and light it up as I try to figure out what this surprise visit is about. But might as well ask the man himself.
Kurt Newman: “Long time no see.”
Crow: “Long enough.”
Kurt Newman: “Indeed. So, why you have to cock block me there Crow? That was going to be a Pen House article right there if you hadn’t showed up.”
Crow: “What? I can’t see my good friend? We haven’t talked in such a long time. I thought I would have a heart to heart talk to you.”
Kurt Newman: “Didn’t think you cared Crow.”
Crow: “I don’t. Just wondering why I haven’t received my wife’s ring back yet. I took out Diablo and helped bury his ass in the ground. No one has seen him for weeks now. So I’ve accomplished my end of the deal, now you do yours Kurt.”
Kurt Newman: “(Scoffs) Please. You know better than anyone that we haven’t seen the last of that jackass. You dark characters always come back like a bad horror movie. You might have buried his ass, but he’s still alive and he’s still going to wrestle again. He’s just licking his wounds and trying to figure out a plan to get back to you. 100 bucks he’ll try something at the Pay Per View against you.”
~Damn it! Crow adjusts himself out of the chair and makes his way over to me with a very ticked off look on his face. God, if you’re listening…….just don’t have him hit me in the face…….or do anything strange with Kurt Jr.
Crow: “Give me back my ring now or I’m going to rip your face off with my bear hands.”
~Damn it!
Crow: “Then I’m going to cut your dick off and stick it up your ass!”
~Double damn it! I swear you don’t listen to me sometimes God.
~Crow places both of his hands on the arm rest of my chair and stares at me, inches away from my face.
Crow: “Please say no because I would really like to kill you right now.”
~I knew I made the wrong decision to sign Crow up for this. But nooooooo, I had to go above and beyond to make a good impression on the MPW board. Think Kurt. Think! You don’t have the ring on you, it’s in a safety deposit box in a bank in New York and there was no way he was going to believe that or even let me out alive without it. I try to bring the cigarette up to my lips to relax a little, but Crow intercepts it and tosses the cigarette to the other side of the room. Seeing that Crow is uber series, I try to bullshit my way out of this situation.
Kurt Newman: “Alright, alright. Calm down. I know you want the ring and everything but you have not eliminated Diablo. You know that he’s still alive and that he’s going to come back and want some revenge on you for causing him a match. Ok…..you’re not stupid Crow, you’ve been in the wrestling business for a while now and you know nothing is that easy. You know how this guy thinks and acts and you know what’s going to come next. At the Pay Per View, either during or after your match, he’s going to come to that ring and try to make you suffer in the worst of ways. If he doesn’t, and he will……but if he doesn’t, then I’ll give you back your wife’s ring. Now we made a deal Crow. Take out Diablo for good. I want to see his body limp and in a pool of his own blood. I want his head on a plate Crow. When you’ve done this…….then you can get the ring back. Until then…….you can go fuck yourself.”
~A pause comes over the two of us as I freak out that I just told him to go fuck himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! The tension between us is so thick that you can’t even cut it with a knife……maybe with a chain saw…….or a light saber. Why the hell haven’t those things been created yet? Seriously!
Crow: “You don’t have the ring on you don’t you?”
Kurt Newman: “………..maybe?”
Crow: “Where’s it at Kurt?”
Kurt Newman: “……….up my ass.”
~Crow jerks his head towards me like he’s going to attack, which totally makes me flinch. He doesn’t do anything though as he continues to stare at me.
Kurt Newman: “Ok wrong term to use on you because I know you would totally try to go after it. It’s in New York Crow. It’s in New York safe and sound. Crow you have my word that you will get that ring back……but only when you take care of Diablo. So take out this Nathan James dude quickly so that Diablo doesn’t get a chance to sneak up on you. Or don’t. Make the guy suffer and show Diablo who he’s messing with. I really don’t care. I want results though Crow. Show me that I didn’t make a mistake by picking you.”
~Crow chuckles at me as he stands up and looks down at me.
Crow: “That’s funny Kurt…….last time I trusted you, my wife died.”
~With that, Crow walks towards the door and leaves, leaving me alone with memories of that day. Don’t know how many times I have to say sorry for what went down……….but I’ll continue to do so till the day I die. I take a drag from my cigarette and look up at the ceiling as I check myself if I pissed my pants. I feel a little wetness but it’s nothing series.
~End Scene
~I reach into my pocket and pull out the key and unlock the door. We make our way in and the Playboy three way is about to begin when I feel a chill up my spine. Something’s wrong as I begin to look around the barely lit room. In the corner of the darken room, a lamp is lit with a figure sitting on a chair. I can barely make out who it is but I already know who it is.
~I have to get the girls out before the situation explodes. Talking about exploding, Kurt Jr. wants to explode after flirting with these girls for most of the night. Damn you Crow! You’re such a wet blanket. Before I can escort them out of the room, one of the girls sees the figure on the other side of the room, but she’s too drunk to understand the situation that we’re in.
Girl 1: “Who’s the creeper in the corner baby?”
~Fuck! Think Kurt think. Maybe he’s asleep. Yeah, he waited so long waiting on us that he fell asleep. Maybe we can…………*CRASH*…………..I look next to me to see one of the girls knocked over a vase that cost me 50,000 dollars. Well that sure as hell woke him up now.
Kurt Newman: “Why don’t you two go home tonight? It’s been a long night and I have to talk to my friend here.”
Girl 2: “Oh come on Kurt. My friend and I really wanted to see if it was true about you and your fat……..”
Kurt Newman: “It is but this is more important than having a three way with you two beautiful girls.”
~I can’t believe I just said that.
Girl 1: “Oh come on. Your friend could join in if he wants.”
~I don’t even want to think what’s underneath his clothes. Full of scars and shit…….all Freddy Kruger and shit.
Kurt Newman: “My friend is more into the kinky shit.”
Girl 1: “I can handle kinky.”
~Not this type of kinky darling. He’d probably rip your eye out and skull fuck your eye socket……..well that doesn’t sound to…….no, no, no, no, no. Never going to happen! Get that thought out of your head now!
Kurt Newman: “Eeehhhh, not sure about his type darling.”
~I reach into my pocket and pull out 500 dollars and give it to the two girls. They both give me kisses on my cheek and walk away. I wish I was leaving with them, but I have business to conduct with the one and only……..Crow. Sobered up now, I pull out a cigarette and light it up as I try to figure out what this surprise visit is about. But might as well ask the man himself.
Kurt Newman: “Long time no see.”
Crow: “Long enough.”
Kurt Newman: “Indeed. So, why you have to cock block me there Crow? That was going to be a Pen House article right there if you hadn’t showed up.”
Crow: “What? I can’t see my good friend? We haven’t talked in such a long time. I thought I would have a heart to heart talk to you.”
Kurt Newman: “Didn’t think you cared Crow.”
Crow: “I don’t. Just wondering why I haven’t received my wife’s ring back yet. I took out Diablo and helped bury his ass in the ground. No one has seen him for weeks now. So I’ve accomplished my end of the deal, now you do yours Kurt.”
Kurt Newman: “(Scoffs) Please. You know better than anyone that we haven’t seen the last of that jackass. You dark characters always come back like a bad horror movie. You might have buried his ass, but he’s still alive and he’s still going to wrestle again. He’s just licking his wounds and trying to figure out a plan to get back to you. 100 bucks he’ll try something at the Pay Per View against you.”
~Damn it! Crow adjusts himself out of the chair and makes his way over to me with a very ticked off look on his face. God, if you’re listening…….just don’t have him hit me in the face…….or do anything strange with Kurt Jr.
Crow: “Give me back my ring now or I’m going to rip your face off with my bear hands.”
~Damn it!
Crow: “Then I’m going to cut your dick off and stick it up your ass!”
~Double damn it! I swear you don’t listen to me sometimes God.
~Crow places both of his hands on the arm rest of my chair and stares at me, inches away from my face.
Crow: “Please say no because I would really like to kill you right now.”
~I knew I made the wrong decision to sign Crow up for this. But nooooooo, I had to go above and beyond to make a good impression on the MPW board. Think Kurt. Think! You don’t have the ring on you, it’s in a safety deposit box in a bank in New York and there was no way he was going to believe that or even let me out alive without it. I try to bring the cigarette up to my lips to relax a little, but Crow intercepts it and tosses the cigarette to the other side of the room. Seeing that Crow is uber series, I try to bullshit my way out of this situation.
Kurt Newman: “Alright, alright. Calm down. I know you want the ring and everything but you have not eliminated Diablo. You know that he’s still alive and that he’s going to come back and want some revenge on you for causing him a match. Ok…..you’re not stupid Crow, you’ve been in the wrestling business for a while now and you know nothing is that easy. You know how this guy thinks and acts and you know what’s going to come next. At the Pay Per View, either during or after your match, he’s going to come to that ring and try to make you suffer in the worst of ways. If he doesn’t, and he will……but if he doesn’t, then I’ll give you back your wife’s ring. Now we made a deal Crow. Take out Diablo for good. I want to see his body limp and in a pool of his own blood. I want his head on a plate Crow. When you’ve done this…….then you can get the ring back. Until then…….you can go fuck yourself.”
~A pause comes over the two of us as I freak out that I just told him to go fuck himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! The tension between us is so thick that you can’t even cut it with a knife……maybe with a chain saw…….or a light saber. Why the hell haven’t those things been created yet? Seriously!
Crow: “You don’t have the ring on you don’t you?”
Kurt Newman: “………..maybe?”
Crow: “Where’s it at Kurt?”
Kurt Newman: “……….up my ass.”
~Crow jerks his head towards me like he’s going to attack, which totally makes me flinch. He doesn’t do anything though as he continues to stare at me.
Kurt Newman: “Ok wrong term to use on you because I know you would totally try to go after it. It’s in New York Crow. It’s in New York safe and sound. Crow you have my word that you will get that ring back……but only when you take care of Diablo. So take out this Nathan James dude quickly so that Diablo doesn’t get a chance to sneak up on you. Or don’t. Make the guy suffer and show Diablo who he’s messing with. I really don’t care. I want results though Crow. Show me that I didn’t make a mistake by picking you.”
~Crow chuckles at me as he stands up and looks down at me.
Crow: “That’s funny Kurt…….last time I trusted you, my wife died.”
~With that, Crow walks towards the door and leaves, leaving me alone with memories of that day. Don’t know how many times I have to say sorry for what went down……….but I’ll continue to do so till the day I die. I take a drag from my cigarette and look up at the ceiling as I check myself if I pissed my pants. I feel a little wetness but it’s nothing series.
~End Scene
