Post by Johnny Clash on Jul 11, 2013 0:16:53 GMT -5
[The scene opens backstage in the arena where Johnny Clash is hitting on one of the new interns in the hallway, sitting on one of the crates. She is eating it up twirling her hair while he speaks]
Johnny Clash: Yeah I beat him a few months ago it was easy. I held that World Title high above my head and that was history
Intern: Wow, that’s amazing. You’re like really good at wrestling
Johnny Clash: Oh honey, I already know that and Trey Baxter already knows that. This week for our one year anniversary show... I will show him just how good I can be.
Intern: I totally think you will like beat him
Johnny Clash: In my mind I already beat him honey.
Intern: I’ll be watching
“I don’t think you will be”
[The intern turns around to see Bob Herman standing behind her. She gets all nervous and panicky as she gathers the papers in to her clip board]
Bob Herman: Relax.... No one’s crucifying you here. Just get back to work okay?
[Johnny laughs as he hops off the crate and stands in front of Bob]
Johnny Clash: the man, Bobby Herman. How the hell are you
Bob Herman: You know, it is one hell of a ride running a corporation like this. I don’t know if my old bones can handle it.
Johnny Clash: Speaking of bones, you are hiring some find piece of ass interns around here. I like the new change
Bob Herman: Well I keep you in mind during the interviews.
Johnny Clash: Damn right you do
Bob Herman: So you and Baxter for the anniversary show. What do you think? Did I do good?
Johnny Clash: I would love nothing more than to shut that good up on the one year mark of this company.
Bob Herman: I knew it would be a good choice.
Johnny Clash: I don’t get where Trey and Jackson with their little side cart retard Lucas King get off the talking as much shit as they do. Yes they hold all the gold in MPW right now but congratu-fucking-lations. There’s a certain saying “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” And if their little TWI ripoff wants to think that for this long they will be running the show they have another thing coming
Bob Herman: Well I can’t bash them I have to be completely bias now that I’m owning this place.
[Bob leans in]
Bob Herman: But kick his ass will ya. WOOOOOO
Johnny Clash: You know I will.
Bob Herman: Well Johnny my man I am off. Gotta go pick up my new assistant from the airport. She is making her debut Thursday Night WOO
Johnny Clash: Oh a she huh? I hope you had me in mind for the interview like you said
Bob Herman: Oh baby I had myself in mind for this one. Even if she is old enough to be my grand daughter haha!
Johnny Clash: Enjoy Bob. I myself am heading home for a few days before TNT so I gotta go too.
[Bob pats Johnny on the back as he walks away. Johnny shakes his head with a smile. He walks down the hallway and slips a little bit. He looks down and a black cloth is laying in the hallway. Johnny picks it up]
Johnny Clash: What the fu... Hmmmm
[Johnny looks in to the black cloth and walks off]
=================================================================
Da’nel: Grab the money and go!
Lamar: I got it I got it! Keep watching
[The cops surround the place as Da’nel holds a gun to an innocent womans head]
Da’nel: don’t come in and don’t shoot or this woman gets GOT!
Lamar: I got it all lets go
[Da’nel pushes the woman to the ground and he and Lamar run to back of the bank where the employee and security entrance is. They suddenly stop in their tracks]
Lamar: It’s him...
Da’nel: Shoot!
[The two men start firing bullets down the hall. A gloved hand reaches out and grabs both guns and bends the barrels. The same hand punches Lamar in the face and elbows Da’nel. The cops outside look in and see movement]
Cop: It’s him, he’s in there!
Civilian: Its... BAT CLASH!
[Back in the bank this masked figure in leather get up with a cape beats the hell out of Lamar and Da’nel. Suddenly they both go crashing through the front of the bank window in slow motion. The cops rush them to arrest them. Standing in the midst of the broken glass is none other than Johnny Clash in a batman suit]
Commissioner Hudson: Thank you Clash I don’t know what we would do with out you
Johnny Clash: Probably stay sitting on your fat asses eating donuts you pig.
[Johnny takes out his zip line gun and shoots it up to a nearby building. The woman who was held hostage comes running out to him]
Ashley: Thank you Bat Clash! How can I ever repay you?!
Johnny Clash: A blowjob would do
[The commissioner and the woman’s face turn blank]
Johnny Clash: haha I’m just playin! No need to thank me!
Cop: Bat Clash you might want to see this.
[The cop hands Johnny a patch that is on Da’nel’s jacket. It reads “INDIANA BAXTER”]
Johnny Clash: I knew he was up to his antics again. Fear not citizens! Bat Clash is on the case and will make the city of Empeedoubleyou safe again.
[Johnny takes the zip gun with two hands and Ashley walks over to him and puts her arms around his waste]
Ashley: Well I don’t have anything to do the rest of the day..
Johnny Clash: than hold on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride
[Johnny presses the release and zips up in to the sky with Ashley around his waste. The scene fades]
[When it comes back we are in a dark dreary cave where typing is heard. Johnny is sitting at a computer in street clothes. An old man walks behind him with oreos and a glass of milk]
Johnny Clash: Thank you Arlington.
[Johnny drinks the milk and spits it out]
Johnny Clash: IM LACTOS INTOLERANT YOU IDIOT!
[Johnny throws the glass of milk at Arlington as he sighs and cleans it up]
Arlington: Stressed are we Master Clash?
Johnny Clash: You have no idea Arlington. Indiana Baxter is at it again
Arlington: What is he after this time?
Johnny Clash: Well I thought it was money since the whole bank robbery thing... But I realized it was just a diversion.
Arlington: For what?
Johnny Clash: He has stolen... This
[The screen lights up with a big gold MPW Championship title belt]
Arlington: He... Stole... That...
Johnny Clash: It’s breath taking I know. Kudos to the designer. But he has taken it from it’s vault locked up in city hall. If only I could find a way to locate him.
“I might know where he is”
[Clash and Arlington turn their heads to see Ashley in nothing but a robe behind them]
Johnny Clash: how did you get in here? This is the Bat Cave no one can find it
Ashley: Well there is a sign over the entrance that says “This way to the Bat Cave” I didn’t think it was too hard...
Johnny Clash: Huh.. I should probably change that. Nevermind that. You know where Indiana Baxter is?
Ashley: it was a long time ago... I was just an intern at the bank at the time and I was on break. I heard this man talking about fried chicken and marijuana and he was very obnoxious and rude. I took a glance and it was him. I recognized him right away from the newspapers I knew it was him. So I followed him. I always wanted to be a news reporter when I was younger so I found this thrilling. I followed him to beneath the sewers under this town. There is a whole new world under there that is unlike anything you have ever seen.
Johnny Clash: did he know you followed him?
Ashley: No he was high as a kite.
Johnny Clash: Arlington, I defeated him before to reclaim this Title Belt and this time I will beat him again. We must move. Ashley, you’re coming with me
Ashley: In a robe?
Johnny Clash: Nah I have something better.
[Johnny pushes a button on the computer and two pods start arising from the floor. Johnny winks at her and raises his eyebrows up and down. Finally through the smoke Ashley takes a look at the pod in front of her with a revealing suit in the glass]
Ashley: You can’t be serious
Johnny Clash: That or the robe. I mean unless you want to go home and change.
[Ashley looks at Clash sternly and opens the pod and takes out the outfit. The ass and breasts are cut out of it and Johnny laughs]
[Scene flashes to the two changing one garment at a time. It finally ends and they are ready for battle. Johnny summons the Clash mobile which is a 1969 black Chevy Camaro with big rims and tinted windows. It has two wings hanging out on the sides of it as well]
Johnny Clash: If you thought the ride I gave you last night was awesome. Get ready for this one!
[Scene cuts again to the backseat where Johnny is banging Ashley in the back seat. They both finish and Ashley looks up at him]
Ashley: I think it’s time to fight the bad guys now.
Johnny Clash: Let’s go!
[Johnny zips up the bat suit and hops to the front seat with Ashley. He revs the engine and speeds off]
Johnny Clash: Arlington give me the coordinates of where Baxter’s hideout is located
Arlington: They are on their way sir
[Coordinates light up on the dashboard]
Johnny Clash: Alright let’s do this!
[Johnny kicks it in to hypergear and speeds off even faster. They reach their destination which is a sewer drain in the middle of the street across from a Churches Chicken]
Johnny Clash: Typical! I should have known
Ashley: down here.
[She lifts the cover off the sewer and starts to climb down. Johnny follows and closes the lid.]
Johnny Clash: Bat Light On!
[Johnny’s belt lights up guiding their way. They walk for a while before reaching a bucket of Chicken spilled over]
Ashley: It’s over here.
[Johnny goes to kick the chicken out of the way and realizes it is fake, metal even. He leans down and goes to pick up a piece of a thigh but it doesn’t budge]
Johnny Clash: I think it’s stale. It’s a shame because Im hungr..
Ashley: No no no, it’s the entrance
[Ashley slides the bucket over to the left and spins it three times. A door opens in the brick wall. Johnny looks at her and walks in]
Johnny Clash: Even with the light I can’t see a damn thing
[Ashley takes out a lighter and lights a rope hanging. It shoots down a stair case and around a whole sandy area filled with jewels and treasure]
Johnny Clash: Woe...
Ashley: This is it.
“RARAHRHAHHHHHH”
Johnny Clash: Oh no watch out! It’s the Wild Blaze!”
Ashley: Take the left Ill take the right side
[They split up leaving the bear a choice. Johnny throws a trinket at it’s head and it just pisses it off]
Ashley: Don’t throw stuff at it! Fight it!
[Johnny runs and dives at the bear drop kicking it. It moves a little. Ashley on the other side jumps on it’s back and tries to wrestle it in to submission. Johnny kicks the bear between the legs and it drops down to a knee. Ashley keeps the hold in until the bear is asleep from the sleeper hold]
Ashley: There. He’s asleep we have to move quick.
Johnny Clash: AYYYYYAAA!!!
[Johnny stabs the head of the bear with a bladed stick. Blood pours everywhere and Ashley just looks at him]
Ashley: That was a bit much don’t you think?
Johnny Clash: What? I’m not Batman I can kill
Ashley: Whatever dude
[They turn around and walk deeper into the maze looking stair case. Suddenly they hear rumbling]
Johnny Clash: What the hell is that
Ashley: Whoever smelt it dealt it.
Johnny Clash: No not that... THAT! RUN!
[They turn around to see a giant ball rushing towards them. Johnny and Ashley keep running until they hit a wall and are cornered]
Ashley: What do we do!
Johnny Clash: I know!
[Johnny takes a magnum XL Condom out from his utility belt]
Ashley: Johnny this isn’t the time.. Maybe again later but not now!
Johnny Clash: NO! Take this side and run opposite me
Ashley: But its slippery
Johnny Clash: JUST DO IT
[They stretch the condom out as the ball grows nearer]
Johnny Clash: HOLD ON TIGHT!!!
[The ball gets caught in the condom and makes a stretching noise. The condom fights it back and the ball loses momentum and stops. Johnny and Ashley lose their grip and let go. They both are out of breath on the ground in front of the giant lube covered ball]
Johnny Clash: You did good kid
Ashley: Thanks. It’s only because I have a great leader
[Five minutes later Johnny is zipping his pants back up and Ashley is smoking a cigarette]
Johnny Clash: RIGHT! We must get Baxter!
[The two get up from the ground and look around]
Ashley: do you see a way out?
Johnny Clash: No but I see a way in... I thank you
[Johnny winks at the camera]
Johnny Clash: Over there.
[Johnny points to the corner where a brick is lose. He pushes it in and a door opens behind them. The room continues down a spiral staircase where they walk down slowly. They get to the base level where they hear crazed laughing]
Johnny Clash: Shh.. Hear that?
Ashley: It sounds like Holly
Johnny Clash: Who?
Ashley: Nevermind!
Johnny Clash: I think I know what it might be..
[They get closer and see a hyena sitting there laughing with a crown on it’s head and chained to a metal rod]
Ashley: What is that?
Johnny Clash: It’s a wild Lucas King. While very Retarted it’s also a very rabid animal. It could have STD’s so don’t let it go near you
[Ashley walks to the side of it to get a better look]
Ashley: Ew it’s masterbating!
Johnny Clash: it does that.. All day. It has nothing better to do since it’s basically just the slave of Indiana Baxter.
Ashley: It’s kinda cute. If only it wasn’t such a psycho animal. I would love to take you home. Yes I would. Yes I would!
Johnny Clash: AYYYYYAAAAA
[Johnny harpoons the head of the Lucas King and Ashley looks stunned again]
Johnny Clash: Better safe than sorry
[They walk closer to a glowing gold door]
Johnny Clash: Smell that?
Ashley: It smells like... Fried Chicken?
Johnny Clash: And Gold.
[Johnny slides a small scope camera under the door to check it out. He sees’s Indiana Baxter sitting at a desk like Scarface]
Ashley: what’s the plan
Johnny Clash: What if we send you in first to take his attention away. Then I’ll ambush him!
Ashley: What if he recognizes me?
Johnny Clash: True. We must go in guns blazin. Ready?
[Johnny kicks down the door and Baxter looks up at him unphased. He has a pile of chicken seed on his desk and he buries his face in to it and snorts it]
Johnny Clash: Game’s over Baxter! Hand over the title
Indiana Baxter: That’s how it’s gonna be huh!? You wanna play OKAY! Say hello to my little friends!
[Chickens fly out from coves in the wall and start attacking Johnny and Ashley. They fight them off but more keep coming]
Ashley: He’s getting away with the title!
Johnny Clash: Not if I can help it!
[Johnny punches a chicken in the face and grabs his utility belt. He presses a button which causes the chickens to stop moving and drop to the ground]
Ashley: Woe. What did you do?
Johnny Clash: Sonar system. Cool huh?
Ashley: You just think to use this now?
Johnny Clash: Hey listen. I can’t do it all here “Trusty Sidekick”
Ashley: Whatever let’s get him!
Indiana Baxter: You will never catch me ha ha ha!
[Indiana Baxter escapes through an emergency shoot behind his desk. Johnny keeps the shoot open and Ashley jumps in. Johnny jumps in next. They fall in to a giant mound of plastic balls]
Johnny Clash: He has a ball pit? That’s fucking awesome!
Ashley: He’s getting away!
[Johnny swims through the plastic balls towards him with Ashley following. He grabs Baxter’s foot who kicks Clash in the face]
Indiana Baxter: Get away from me! This belt is mine!
Johnny Clash: Johnny Clash Not for long!
[Johnny leaps out of the ball pit and dives on to Baxter. They wrestle around until the edge of the ball pit where they both tumble out hitting the ground hard. They both are out of breath laying there motionless.]
Johnny Clash: What are we doing? Fighting over a silly belt?
Indiana Baxter: I have a better idea of what we can do
[Scene cuts to 10 minutes later where they are all three back in Baxter’s office with a cloudy film filling the room and their eyes blood red]
Johnny Clash: And then I said to her... Bitch just the tip for five minutes!
[Baxter loses his mind and laughs hysterically.] They title belt sits on the table in front of them and Johnny puts a hand on it. Baxter puts a hand on the other side. They start pulling as the music fires back up and the fight scene continues. They wrestle around on the ground as the belt flies through the air and is going towards the window]
Johnny Clash & Indiana Baxter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Ashley dives and catches the belt in slow motion. She crashes to the ground with it and Clash falls on top of her]
Ashley: OW!
Johnny Clash: Oh sorry, thought you needed uh.. Help
[Ashley pushes him off of her and gets to her feet. Johnny corners Baxter on the floor in the corner of the room]
Johnny Clash: You are done Baxter. Your games are up. You and your little Goons you call the Iconic Aggression are no more!
[Johnny lifts up that bladed stick again but Ashley grabs it]
Johnny Clash: too much?
Ashley: too much..
[Johnny instead kicks Baxter in the head and ties him up]
[The scene cuts to the outside of City hall where Bat Clash and Ashley receive a key to the city]
Johnny Clash: I couldn’t have done it with out my side kick and my drive to help this city of Empeedoubleyou ride it’s streets of scum like Indiana Baxter. I will continue fighting the good fight citizens!
[The citizens clap as the scene cuts to a jail cell where Baxter is being raped by a big black man]
Indiana Baxter: Ill get you Johnny Clash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Back at Clash’s place he and Ashley are in a bed both topless]
Ashley: You never cease to amaze me Johnny Clash
Johnny Clash: I know... Im just that damn good! Not flip over it’s time to get my brown belt
[Ashley bends over and laughs as suddenly scene quickly cuts to a dark quiet room in reality. The lights turn on and Johnny’s mother stands in the door way]
Johnny’s Mom: Johnny are you playing with your toys again.. Frank! Johnny’s playing with his batman dolls again
Johnny Clash: MA CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PLAYING HERE!
[Johnny has a batman playset in front of him with a Johnny Clash and Bat Girl toy in his hands pretending to hump each other. Trey Baxter, Lucas King and Jackson Blaze toys lay with their heads chopped off on the carpet]
Johnny’s Mom: Dinner is ready in five minutes go wash up!
Johnny Clash: Fine mom. God!
[She closes the door and Johnny gets up. He looks back down at the action figures.]
Johnny Clash: We will meet again Indiana Baxter... We will meet again
[Johnny exits the room and turns the lights off]
Johnny Clash: Yeah I beat him a few months ago it was easy. I held that World Title high above my head and that was history
Intern: Wow, that’s amazing. You’re like really good at wrestling
Johnny Clash: Oh honey, I already know that and Trey Baxter already knows that. This week for our one year anniversary show... I will show him just how good I can be.
Intern: I totally think you will like beat him
Johnny Clash: In my mind I already beat him honey.
Intern: I’ll be watching
“I don’t think you will be”
[The intern turns around to see Bob Herman standing behind her. She gets all nervous and panicky as she gathers the papers in to her clip board]
Bob Herman: Relax.... No one’s crucifying you here. Just get back to work okay?
[Johnny laughs as he hops off the crate and stands in front of Bob]
Johnny Clash: the man, Bobby Herman. How the hell are you
Bob Herman: You know, it is one hell of a ride running a corporation like this. I don’t know if my old bones can handle it.
Johnny Clash: Speaking of bones, you are hiring some find piece of ass interns around here. I like the new change
Bob Herman: Well I keep you in mind during the interviews.
Johnny Clash: Damn right you do
Bob Herman: So you and Baxter for the anniversary show. What do you think? Did I do good?
Johnny Clash: I would love nothing more than to shut that good up on the one year mark of this company.
Bob Herman: I knew it would be a good choice.
Johnny Clash: I don’t get where Trey and Jackson with their little side cart retard Lucas King get off the talking as much shit as they do. Yes they hold all the gold in MPW right now but congratu-fucking-lations. There’s a certain saying “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” And if their little TWI ripoff wants to think that for this long they will be running the show they have another thing coming
Bob Herman: Well I can’t bash them I have to be completely bias now that I’m owning this place.
[Bob leans in]
Bob Herman: But kick his ass will ya. WOOOOOO
Johnny Clash: You know I will.
Bob Herman: Well Johnny my man I am off. Gotta go pick up my new assistant from the airport. She is making her debut Thursday Night WOO
Johnny Clash: Oh a she huh? I hope you had me in mind for the interview like you said
Bob Herman: Oh baby I had myself in mind for this one. Even if she is old enough to be my grand daughter haha!
Johnny Clash: Enjoy Bob. I myself am heading home for a few days before TNT so I gotta go too.
[Bob pats Johnny on the back as he walks away. Johnny shakes his head with a smile. He walks down the hallway and slips a little bit. He looks down and a black cloth is laying in the hallway. Johnny picks it up]
Johnny Clash: What the fu... Hmmmm
[Johnny looks in to the black cloth and walks off]
=================================================================
Da’nel: Grab the money and go!
Lamar: I got it I got it! Keep watching
[The cops surround the place as Da’nel holds a gun to an innocent womans head]
Da’nel: don’t come in and don’t shoot or this woman gets GOT!
Lamar: I got it all lets go
[Da’nel pushes the woman to the ground and he and Lamar run to back of the bank where the employee and security entrance is. They suddenly stop in their tracks]
Lamar: It’s him...
Da’nel: Shoot!
[The two men start firing bullets down the hall. A gloved hand reaches out and grabs both guns and bends the barrels. The same hand punches Lamar in the face and elbows Da’nel. The cops outside look in and see movement]
Cop: It’s him, he’s in there!
Civilian: Its... BAT CLASH!
[Back in the bank this masked figure in leather get up with a cape beats the hell out of Lamar and Da’nel. Suddenly they both go crashing through the front of the bank window in slow motion. The cops rush them to arrest them. Standing in the midst of the broken glass is none other than Johnny Clash in a batman suit]
Commissioner Hudson: Thank you Clash I don’t know what we would do with out you
Johnny Clash: Probably stay sitting on your fat asses eating donuts you pig.
[Johnny takes out his zip line gun and shoots it up to a nearby building. The woman who was held hostage comes running out to him]
Ashley: Thank you Bat Clash! How can I ever repay you?!
Johnny Clash: A blowjob would do
[The commissioner and the woman’s face turn blank]
Johnny Clash: haha I’m just playin! No need to thank me!
Cop: Bat Clash you might want to see this.
[The cop hands Johnny a patch that is on Da’nel’s jacket. It reads “INDIANA BAXTER”]
Johnny Clash: I knew he was up to his antics again. Fear not citizens! Bat Clash is on the case and will make the city of Empeedoubleyou safe again.
[Johnny takes the zip gun with two hands and Ashley walks over to him and puts her arms around his waste]
Ashley: Well I don’t have anything to do the rest of the day..
Johnny Clash: than hold on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride
[Johnny presses the release and zips up in to the sky with Ashley around his waste. The scene fades]
[When it comes back we are in a dark dreary cave where typing is heard. Johnny is sitting at a computer in street clothes. An old man walks behind him with oreos and a glass of milk]
Johnny Clash: Thank you Arlington.
[Johnny drinks the milk and spits it out]
Johnny Clash: IM LACTOS INTOLERANT YOU IDIOT!
[Johnny throws the glass of milk at Arlington as he sighs and cleans it up]
Arlington: Stressed are we Master Clash?
Johnny Clash: You have no idea Arlington. Indiana Baxter is at it again
Arlington: What is he after this time?
Johnny Clash: Well I thought it was money since the whole bank robbery thing... But I realized it was just a diversion.
Arlington: For what?
Johnny Clash: He has stolen... This
[The screen lights up with a big gold MPW Championship title belt]
Arlington: He... Stole... That...
Johnny Clash: It’s breath taking I know. Kudos to the designer. But he has taken it from it’s vault locked up in city hall. If only I could find a way to locate him.
“I might know where he is”
[Clash and Arlington turn their heads to see Ashley in nothing but a robe behind them]
Johnny Clash: how did you get in here? This is the Bat Cave no one can find it
Ashley: Well there is a sign over the entrance that says “This way to the Bat Cave” I didn’t think it was too hard...
Johnny Clash: Huh.. I should probably change that. Nevermind that. You know where Indiana Baxter is?
Ashley: it was a long time ago... I was just an intern at the bank at the time and I was on break. I heard this man talking about fried chicken and marijuana and he was very obnoxious and rude. I took a glance and it was him. I recognized him right away from the newspapers I knew it was him. So I followed him. I always wanted to be a news reporter when I was younger so I found this thrilling. I followed him to beneath the sewers under this town. There is a whole new world under there that is unlike anything you have ever seen.
Johnny Clash: did he know you followed him?
Ashley: No he was high as a kite.
Johnny Clash: Arlington, I defeated him before to reclaim this Title Belt and this time I will beat him again. We must move. Ashley, you’re coming with me
Ashley: In a robe?
Johnny Clash: Nah I have something better.
[Johnny pushes a button on the computer and two pods start arising from the floor. Johnny winks at her and raises his eyebrows up and down. Finally through the smoke Ashley takes a look at the pod in front of her with a revealing suit in the glass]
Ashley: You can’t be serious
Johnny Clash: That or the robe. I mean unless you want to go home and change.
[Ashley looks at Clash sternly and opens the pod and takes out the outfit. The ass and breasts are cut out of it and Johnny laughs]
[Scene flashes to the two changing one garment at a time. It finally ends and they are ready for battle. Johnny summons the Clash mobile which is a 1969 black Chevy Camaro with big rims and tinted windows. It has two wings hanging out on the sides of it as well]
Johnny Clash: If you thought the ride I gave you last night was awesome. Get ready for this one!
[Scene cuts again to the backseat where Johnny is banging Ashley in the back seat. They both finish and Ashley looks up at him]
Ashley: I think it’s time to fight the bad guys now.
Johnny Clash: Let’s go!
[Johnny zips up the bat suit and hops to the front seat with Ashley. He revs the engine and speeds off]
Johnny Clash: Arlington give me the coordinates of where Baxter’s hideout is located
Arlington: They are on their way sir
[Coordinates light up on the dashboard]
Johnny Clash: Alright let’s do this!
[Johnny kicks it in to hypergear and speeds off even faster. They reach their destination which is a sewer drain in the middle of the street across from a Churches Chicken]
Johnny Clash: Typical! I should have known
Ashley: down here.
[She lifts the cover off the sewer and starts to climb down. Johnny follows and closes the lid.]
Johnny Clash: Bat Light On!
[Johnny’s belt lights up guiding their way. They walk for a while before reaching a bucket of Chicken spilled over]
Ashley: It’s over here.
[Johnny goes to kick the chicken out of the way and realizes it is fake, metal even. He leans down and goes to pick up a piece of a thigh but it doesn’t budge]
Johnny Clash: I think it’s stale. It’s a shame because Im hungr..
Ashley: No no no, it’s the entrance
[Ashley slides the bucket over to the left and spins it three times. A door opens in the brick wall. Johnny looks at her and walks in]
Johnny Clash: Even with the light I can’t see a damn thing
[Ashley takes out a lighter and lights a rope hanging. It shoots down a stair case and around a whole sandy area filled with jewels and treasure]
Johnny Clash: Woe...
Ashley: This is it.
“RARAHRHAHHHHHH”
Johnny Clash: Oh no watch out! It’s the Wild Blaze!”
Ashley: Take the left Ill take the right side
[They split up leaving the bear a choice. Johnny throws a trinket at it’s head and it just pisses it off]
Ashley: Don’t throw stuff at it! Fight it!
[Johnny runs and dives at the bear drop kicking it. It moves a little. Ashley on the other side jumps on it’s back and tries to wrestle it in to submission. Johnny kicks the bear between the legs and it drops down to a knee. Ashley keeps the hold in until the bear is asleep from the sleeper hold]
Ashley: There. He’s asleep we have to move quick.
Johnny Clash: AYYYYYAAA!!!
[Johnny stabs the head of the bear with a bladed stick. Blood pours everywhere and Ashley just looks at him]
Ashley: That was a bit much don’t you think?
Johnny Clash: What? I’m not Batman I can kill
Ashley: Whatever dude
[They turn around and walk deeper into the maze looking stair case. Suddenly they hear rumbling]
Johnny Clash: What the hell is that
Ashley: Whoever smelt it dealt it.
Johnny Clash: No not that... THAT! RUN!
[They turn around to see a giant ball rushing towards them. Johnny and Ashley keep running until they hit a wall and are cornered]
Ashley: What do we do!
Johnny Clash: I know!
[Johnny takes a magnum XL Condom out from his utility belt]
Ashley: Johnny this isn’t the time.. Maybe again later but not now!
Johnny Clash: NO! Take this side and run opposite me
Ashley: But its slippery
Johnny Clash: JUST DO IT
[They stretch the condom out as the ball grows nearer]
Johnny Clash: HOLD ON TIGHT!!!
[The ball gets caught in the condom and makes a stretching noise. The condom fights it back and the ball loses momentum and stops. Johnny and Ashley lose their grip and let go. They both are out of breath on the ground in front of the giant lube covered ball]
Johnny Clash: You did good kid
Ashley: Thanks. It’s only because I have a great leader
[Five minutes later Johnny is zipping his pants back up and Ashley is smoking a cigarette]
Johnny Clash: RIGHT! We must get Baxter!
[The two get up from the ground and look around]
Ashley: do you see a way out?
Johnny Clash: No but I see a way in... I thank you
[Johnny winks at the camera]
Johnny Clash: Over there.
[Johnny points to the corner where a brick is lose. He pushes it in and a door opens behind them. The room continues down a spiral staircase where they walk down slowly. They get to the base level where they hear crazed laughing]
Johnny Clash: Shh.. Hear that?
Ashley: It sounds like Holly
Johnny Clash: Who?
Ashley: Nevermind!
Johnny Clash: I think I know what it might be..
[They get closer and see a hyena sitting there laughing with a crown on it’s head and chained to a metal rod]
Ashley: What is that?
Johnny Clash: It’s a wild Lucas King. While very Retarted it’s also a very rabid animal. It could have STD’s so don’t let it go near you
[Ashley walks to the side of it to get a better look]
Ashley: Ew it’s masterbating!
Johnny Clash: it does that.. All day. It has nothing better to do since it’s basically just the slave of Indiana Baxter.
Ashley: It’s kinda cute. If only it wasn’t such a psycho animal. I would love to take you home. Yes I would. Yes I would!
Johnny Clash: AYYYYYAAAAA
[Johnny harpoons the head of the Lucas King and Ashley looks stunned again]
Johnny Clash: Better safe than sorry
[They walk closer to a glowing gold door]
Johnny Clash: Smell that?
Ashley: It smells like... Fried Chicken?
Johnny Clash: And Gold.
[Johnny slides a small scope camera under the door to check it out. He sees’s Indiana Baxter sitting at a desk like Scarface]
Ashley: what’s the plan
Johnny Clash: What if we send you in first to take his attention away. Then I’ll ambush him!
Ashley: What if he recognizes me?
Johnny Clash: True. We must go in guns blazin. Ready?
[Johnny kicks down the door and Baxter looks up at him unphased. He has a pile of chicken seed on his desk and he buries his face in to it and snorts it]
Johnny Clash: Game’s over Baxter! Hand over the title
Indiana Baxter: That’s how it’s gonna be huh!? You wanna play OKAY! Say hello to my little friends!
[Chickens fly out from coves in the wall and start attacking Johnny and Ashley. They fight them off but more keep coming]
Ashley: He’s getting away with the title!
Johnny Clash: Not if I can help it!
[Johnny punches a chicken in the face and grabs his utility belt. He presses a button which causes the chickens to stop moving and drop to the ground]
Ashley: Woe. What did you do?
Johnny Clash: Sonar system. Cool huh?
Ashley: You just think to use this now?
Johnny Clash: Hey listen. I can’t do it all here “Trusty Sidekick”
Ashley: Whatever let’s get him!
Indiana Baxter: You will never catch me ha ha ha!
[Indiana Baxter escapes through an emergency shoot behind his desk. Johnny keeps the shoot open and Ashley jumps in. Johnny jumps in next. They fall in to a giant mound of plastic balls]
Johnny Clash: He has a ball pit? That’s fucking awesome!
Ashley: He’s getting away!
[Johnny swims through the plastic balls towards him with Ashley following. He grabs Baxter’s foot who kicks Clash in the face]
Indiana Baxter: Get away from me! This belt is mine!
Johnny Clash: Johnny Clash Not for long!
[Johnny leaps out of the ball pit and dives on to Baxter. They wrestle around until the edge of the ball pit where they both tumble out hitting the ground hard. They both are out of breath laying there motionless.]
Johnny Clash: What are we doing? Fighting over a silly belt?
Indiana Baxter: I have a better idea of what we can do
[Scene cuts to 10 minutes later where they are all three back in Baxter’s office with a cloudy film filling the room and their eyes blood red]
Johnny Clash: And then I said to her... Bitch just the tip for five minutes!
[Baxter loses his mind and laughs hysterically.] They title belt sits on the table in front of them and Johnny puts a hand on it. Baxter puts a hand on the other side. They start pulling as the music fires back up and the fight scene continues. They wrestle around on the ground as the belt flies through the air and is going towards the window]
Johnny Clash & Indiana Baxter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Ashley dives and catches the belt in slow motion. She crashes to the ground with it and Clash falls on top of her]
Ashley: OW!
Johnny Clash: Oh sorry, thought you needed uh.. Help
[Ashley pushes him off of her and gets to her feet. Johnny corners Baxter on the floor in the corner of the room]
Johnny Clash: You are done Baxter. Your games are up. You and your little Goons you call the Iconic Aggression are no more!
[Johnny lifts up that bladed stick again but Ashley grabs it]
Johnny Clash: too much?
Ashley: too much..
[Johnny instead kicks Baxter in the head and ties him up]
[The scene cuts to the outside of City hall where Bat Clash and Ashley receive a key to the city]
Johnny Clash: I couldn’t have done it with out my side kick and my drive to help this city of Empeedoubleyou ride it’s streets of scum like Indiana Baxter. I will continue fighting the good fight citizens!
[The citizens clap as the scene cuts to a jail cell where Baxter is being raped by a big black man]
Indiana Baxter: Ill get you Johnny Clash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Back at Clash’s place he and Ashley are in a bed both topless]
Ashley: You never cease to amaze me Johnny Clash
Johnny Clash: I know... Im just that damn good! Not flip over it’s time to get my brown belt
[Ashley bends over and laughs as suddenly scene quickly cuts to a dark quiet room in reality. The lights turn on and Johnny’s mother stands in the door way]
Johnny’s Mom: Johnny are you playing with your toys again.. Frank! Johnny’s playing with his batman dolls again
Johnny Clash: MA CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PLAYING HERE!
[Johnny has a batman playset in front of him with a Johnny Clash and Bat Girl toy in his hands pretending to hump each other. Trey Baxter, Lucas King and Jackson Blaze toys lay with their heads chopped off on the carpet]
Johnny’s Mom: Dinner is ready in five minutes go wash up!
Johnny Clash: Fine mom. God!
[She closes the door and Johnny gets up. He looks back down at the action figures.]
Johnny Clash: We will meet again Indiana Baxter... We will meet again
[Johnny exits the room and turns the lights off]
