What's there to do in Iowa? Strip Club?

[Lucas King]

-SCENE 1-

(((The scene opens up to outside of a strip club located in Iowa. We see Trey Baxter and Lucas King getting out of King's truck and walking towards the entrance.)))

Trey Baxter: Do you think strip clubs in Iowa are any good?

Lucas King: I don't know if ANYTHING in Iowa is any good.

Trey Baxter: Good point...

(((They walk up to the entrance where the doorman checks they're ID's and then to the door where they pay they're entry and head inside to see a packed house.)))

Lucas King: Damn...they're busy.

Trey Baxter: Isn't it like 4 P.M. right now?

Lucas King: On a Wednesday too...

Trey Baxter: You think we hit the jackpot?

Lucas King: Either that or there's nothing else to do in Iowa.

Trey Baxter: Good point...

(((They walk in and try to find a spot to sit down.)))

Lucas King: Hey look...a buffet...

(((He points over to the buffet as a huge smile flashes across his face.)))

Trey Baxter: 4 o' clock Stripper Buffet. Not sure that's too safe...

(((Trey looks over but is talking to himself as King has already made his way to the buffet table and is getting him a plate full of different foods. Meanwhile Trey has found a table close to the stage and has sat down and ordered two beers as King walks up to the table.)))

Lucas King: You not eating?

Trey Baxter: Hell no I'm not eating that shit...

Lucas King: Your loss bro. They got some good shit.

(((He starts crushing his food not even paying attention to the strippers.)))

Trey Baxter: I'm going to the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back...

(((King mumbles something as his mouth is full of food. Trey shakes his head and walks away as King goes to town on the food. About two minutes later Trey walks back up and sits down and looks over to see King sitting back in his seat and an empty plate of food.)))

Trey Baxter: Did you just eat all of that?

(((King is so full he can't even respond so he just nods yes.)))

Trey Baxter: I was gone for less than 5 minutes!

(((King shrugs his shoulders as Trey shakes his head. They watch the stripper on the stage as she finishes up.)))

Trey Baxter: So what you think about those bullshit matches this week?

Lucas King: The tag matches?

Trey Baxter: Yeah...bullshit ass tag matches. It's one thing if it was a tag match and it was you and me versus two other people, any two other people, but we're both going to have to depend on other people.

Lucas King: I'd say it's bullshit but the way I look at it I pretty much came out on top as far as partners go. It's going to be Gabriel Griffin and some Chrissy Starr slut against myself and Jason X.

Trey Baxter: Yeah I guess you came out on top there. Jason-X gets wins like Kobe gets buckets.

Lucas King: I know. It should be an easy win. You on the other hand have to worry about Cable.

Trey Baxter: I'll just make sure it doesn't matter who my partner is.

(((All of a sudden the lights begin to flicker and some music begins to play as they turn they're attention back towards the stage. As she dances for a little while King leans over.)))

Lucas King: Is it me or does that stripper look like Chrissy?

(((Trey looks up at her for a second.)))

Trey Baxter: I don't know about that...

Lucas King: You're right...that stripper is way too classy looking to be Chrissy.

(((Trey just shakes his head as they continue to watch. All of a sudden the stripper pulls someone from the front up onto the stage.)))

Lucas King: Is that who I think it is?

Trey Baxter: Ashton Kutcher?

Lucas King: That's Ashton Kutcher...

Trey Baxter: What the fuck is he doing at a strip club in Iowa at 4 in the afternoon on a Wednesday.

Lucas King: Oh Kelso...

Trey Baxter: I mean...who does that?

(((He pauses for a moment as they look at each other and then back up at the stage. After Ashton is done he walks off the stage and to the back with the stripper as the scene fades to Trey and Lucas laughing.)))


-SCENE 2-

(((The scene opens back up to Lucas King standing outside the strip club later on that night. King has his TV Title over his shoulder and has a camera crew standing in front of him as he looks into the camera.)))

Lucas King: I figured this would be as good of a time as any to say what I had to say for the week. As you can see I'm outside of an Iowa strip club, which surprisingly has more talent than expected and has turned out to be a great day. We even hung out with Ashton Kutcher earlier. He left though

Anyway...we are here because there really isn't anything better to do in Iowa. So basically we have been comparing the strippers to Chrissy Starr to see if she was hotter than or classier than any of them. So far the answer is no. We haven't even gotten close to finding one who is less classy and uglier than Chrissy, and that was during the day shift on a Wednesday.

(((All of a sudden a car pulls up and parks in the middle of the walkway. Out of the car pops out Ashton Kutcher. King turns his attention towards him.)))

Lucas King: ASHTON!

Ashton Kutcher: I'M BACK!!!

(((Kutcher runs back into the strip club as King shakes his head and then looks back into the camera.)))

Lucas King: That dude actually went home and changed into a different outfit to come back to the same strip club. Apparently he's from Iowa and this is the spot to be. Anyway let me get back to this so I can get back in there. You wouldn't believe the shit that's going on in there. I'm pretty sure Justin Bieber was in there at some point. It was either him or Ellen Degeneras.

Let's get to this weeks match. A match that I wasn't too sure about at first. I'm on quite a win streak and I don't like the fact that I don't have to be the one to lose tomorrow night for that streak to end. I'm more of a singles wrestler, so a tag match with somebody that is quite possibly my biggest threat for my TV Title isn't something that I enjoy. But I'm a man, so I'll do my best to make sure we walk out there with a victory.

It's going to be myself and Jason-X. Jason there's no doubt in anyones mind that you've been successful in MPW. You've had the longevity that very few have had and have a lot of wins because of it. So if you just make sure you do your thing tomorrow night, and most importantly stay out of my way, then I think we will be just fine tomorrow. I don't think they stand a chance against us. But make no mistake about it...I will keep one eye on you at all times. I don't trust you, and more so than that I don't like you. This little crazy streak you've been on has impressed me though and because of that I think we've got this thing in the bag.

Then we have our opponents Gabriel Griffin and Chrissy Starr. I'll start with Gabe because I know him more, and quite frankly he's the weaker of the two wrestlers. Which is bad considering Chrissy Star hasn't done a damn thing here in the MPW. You and I have quite a history, don't we Gabe? It's no secret that you hate me and Iconic Aggression for that matter. You hate us because you're not us. You hate us because you never will be us. You hate me in general because I've beaten you twice in a row and neither time was even close. You hate me because I've kept you away from the TV Title multiple times. You hate me because you know that as long as I hold the TV Title you will never get your hands on it.

I think I've proven to you and the world that you're not as good as me. In this whole match you're the weakest link. You're the worst person in this match and one of the people in this match hasn't even been here for a month. What is it that you're going to be able to do this week to beat us? My question is are you having nightmares about having to face me again? Are you going to come out here and discredit me again, despite the fact that I beat you twice and am the longest reigning TV Champion of all time. I am the...

(((He holds his TV Title in the air.)))

Lucas King: ...BEST TV Champion of all time. So it really doesn't matter what you have to say because when the bell rings on Thursday I will do what I do best and that's all that's going to matter.

(((He pulls the title back down and back over his shoulder.)))

Lucas King: Which brings me to Chrissy. I don't really know much about Chrissy except that she dominated in the WWO, but that doesn't really impress me. I don't have a hard on for the WWO like most of these other guys though. So welcome to the big time Chrissy. Welcome to a place where you're going to have to earn every single win you get. Welcome to the place where Iconic Aggression runs things. Half the roster fears us and the rest just want to be us.

If you're smart you will do your best to stay the fuck out of our way. I understand you've got beef with Jason-X, and that's fine with me. You can beat Jason-X's ass all you want. But tomorrow night there is nothing you are going to be able to do to stop me from getting the win. I'll see you both tomorrow night...

(((He smiles into the camera as he heads back into the strip club and the scene fades to black.)))