Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2013 16:31:15 GMT -5
Even with a cooler breeze blowing in from the north, this is still the bayou and September in Louisiana which means it’s still hot and muggy. The term sweating like a whore in church comes to mind as the camera zooms in on the man sitting in a little two man boat. He pushes his small craft along with an eight foot pole. He grunts at the exertion but his facial expression never changes, a sick twisted smile plays across his lips as he begins to sing, “The only one that could ever reach me was the son of a preacher man…” He stops allowing the boat to drift as he cackles with delight at the joke that is bouncing around in his head. He shakes his head,
“No sher, no one can reach me...not since I was a boy. Not that I think that my partner gives a damn about that. Zero is what he calls himself, he comes from just up the road to the east of where I am at now as a matter of fact. We grew up about an hour apart but it might as well be a million miles considering how we grew up. While his father was spreading the word of God and robbing his flock blind mine drove into Texas every day to work at a paper mill doing hot nasty work from seven in the morning until seven at night. My pops was no saint, he normally either drank or gambled away the rent more times than not. May his sorry ass rest in peace.”
He stands up in the little boat and begins pushing again until he comes into a part of the swamp where the water seems to be boiling in one concentrated area. The water rolls and he smiles as he takes something out of nap sack and holds it low in the boat out of sight of the camera and grins.
“Locker rooms in wrestling companies are kind of like the dark water here in this swamp, all kinds of nastiness lies beneath the surface.”
He nods to the spot in the water.
“You see that spot in the water that almost seems like its rolling just under the surface? If a man were to fall into that, if he were very, very lucky he would survive. When what most folks call water moccasins gather like that you can be bitten in excess of one hundred times. I know all too well how that feels. I use to be one of them tree hugging, animal loving idiots ten years ago. A good little brush with death from nature will cure you of all those romantic ideas about saving the endangered species of the world.”
He takes his shirt off showing the scars of dozens of puncture marks all over his body.
“A gift from mother nature herself for all my good deeds as a boy. Now I hunt that bitch into extinction. Just remember, no good deed goes unpunished. After three weeks in intensive care I learned my lesson about nature and her children. That lesson almost cost me my life. But it did have one little side effect that I get a kick out of…I’m almost immune to the venom of most snakes in these waters here.”
He pushes the small boat a little ways from the snakes and takes out a zippo lighter from the pocket of his faded and tattered camo t-shirt and strikes it. He raises the stick of dynamite that he had been holding low in the boat. He lights the dynamite and tosses it into the ball of snakes, he pushes the boat a little farther away as the tnt explodes spraying water up in a six foot fountain.
“Down here the saying is the only good snake is a dead snake. We don’t like snakes in the locker room either. Sometimes one action in life can straighten a good many things out.”
He looks down at his watch and smiles.
“Looks like I have enough time to go check my traps before I need to get on that flight but I would send a word of advice to our opponents this week. You see boys, this is the real Louisiana, not some crap they show on television with those bearded idiots who wouldn’t survive 3 hours in the place I call home. I’ve been surviving here since I was old enough to crawl. You bring everything you have and me and my partner will do the same. One thing I’ve learned is that you must evolve to survive not just in this business but in life. So I’ll leave you with this image.”
He looks at the bodies of the dead water moccasins floating to the top as the Alligators in the area come to feed on the fresh meat.
“Nature at its best, natural selection in action. Millions of years of evolution on display. Evolutions a bitch ain’t it?”
The scene fades to black with the cackling laughter of a man who may not altogether be sain.
“No sher, no one can reach me...not since I was a boy. Not that I think that my partner gives a damn about that. Zero is what he calls himself, he comes from just up the road to the east of where I am at now as a matter of fact. We grew up about an hour apart but it might as well be a million miles considering how we grew up. While his father was spreading the word of God and robbing his flock blind mine drove into Texas every day to work at a paper mill doing hot nasty work from seven in the morning until seven at night. My pops was no saint, he normally either drank or gambled away the rent more times than not. May his sorry ass rest in peace.”
He stands up in the little boat and begins pushing again until he comes into a part of the swamp where the water seems to be boiling in one concentrated area. The water rolls and he smiles as he takes something out of nap sack and holds it low in the boat out of sight of the camera and grins.
“Locker rooms in wrestling companies are kind of like the dark water here in this swamp, all kinds of nastiness lies beneath the surface.”
He nods to the spot in the water.
“You see that spot in the water that almost seems like its rolling just under the surface? If a man were to fall into that, if he were very, very lucky he would survive. When what most folks call water moccasins gather like that you can be bitten in excess of one hundred times. I know all too well how that feels. I use to be one of them tree hugging, animal loving idiots ten years ago. A good little brush with death from nature will cure you of all those romantic ideas about saving the endangered species of the world.”
He takes his shirt off showing the scars of dozens of puncture marks all over his body.
“A gift from mother nature herself for all my good deeds as a boy. Now I hunt that bitch into extinction. Just remember, no good deed goes unpunished. After three weeks in intensive care I learned my lesson about nature and her children. That lesson almost cost me my life. But it did have one little side effect that I get a kick out of…I’m almost immune to the venom of most snakes in these waters here.”
He pushes the small boat a little ways from the snakes and takes out a zippo lighter from the pocket of his faded and tattered camo t-shirt and strikes it. He raises the stick of dynamite that he had been holding low in the boat. He lights the dynamite and tosses it into the ball of snakes, he pushes the boat a little farther away as the tnt explodes spraying water up in a six foot fountain.
“Down here the saying is the only good snake is a dead snake. We don’t like snakes in the locker room either. Sometimes one action in life can straighten a good many things out.”
He looks down at his watch and smiles.
“Looks like I have enough time to go check my traps before I need to get on that flight but I would send a word of advice to our opponents this week. You see boys, this is the real Louisiana, not some crap they show on television with those bearded idiots who wouldn’t survive 3 hours in the place I call home. I’ve been surviving here since I was old enough to crawl. You bring everything you have and me and my partner will do the same. One thing I’ve learned is that you must evolve to survive not just in this business but in life. So I’ll leave you with this image.”
He looks at the bodies of the dead water moccasins floating to the top as the Alligators in the area come to feed on the fresh meat.
“Nature at its best, natural selection in action. Millions of years of evolution on display. Evolutions a bitch ain’t it?”
The scene fades to black with the cackling laughter of a man who may not altogether be sain.