Post by Kurt Newman on Nov 17, 2013 18:49:35 GMT -5
-One hour after the MPW Pay Per View-
~The scene begins…….
*Wait?!? We’re in an rp again! We haven’t been in a promo for months now! Not since we left that other fed and came over here!
~Well Kurt is facing off against Roxi so Chris (the guy typing this shit) decided to bring the big guns out since this match will probably be a close one. People love us. Only reason why people read this filth to begin with. I mean a typical Kurt Newman promo is nothing more than fart and sex jokes, so we’re around to switch it up a little.
*Hey man, I’m just glad that we’re back in the job. I got a family to feed.
~But you don’t have a family. We’re just voices in Kurt’s head.
*Are we? I thought we were voices in Chris’s head.
~Now that you mention it, I never understood our meaning either.
(Will you guys shut up? I’m getting stitches and you two are talking nonsense. At least you two are finally done arguing about whose better: DC or Marvel.)
~MARVEL!
*DC
(You’re both wrong! Black Horse is the best!)
*Black Horse? Are you serious? You’re such a pussy!
(Whatever! Just go back to monologing me will you! I’d do it myself but the stitches I’m getting are hurting like a bitch.)
~Black Horse. Really? Whatever. So the scene begins with Kurt Newman, freshly off his win with Crow, in the back of the arena being attended to by medical staff. Hurting and bleeding like hell, Kurt slowly made his way to the back of the arena and was attended by the medical staff for his wounds that he received by the hands of Crow. The barbed wire did a number on his body and a rib or two were probably broken or bruised when he jumped off the top of the ladder and landed on Crow below. At the end of the match, Kurt was the victor and Crow was finally out of MPW for good. Kurt knew it was going to be a painful match. It was a painful match the last time the two met in a ring. This match felt so much better for Kurt because did something that very few men have been able to do against Crow, he out classed Crow in a hardcore type match. The sky is a the limit now for Kurt as he lays on his belly and endures the needle that will be piercing his skin for the next hour or so to close up all the deep wounds from the barbed wire.
~Kurt can’t help but think what was next. The sky was the limit and the only thing Kurt had to do was to take a step in the right direction. The question now is which direction to go? The tag team division needs some help, but who would he team with? It’s not like Kurt’s really close friends with anyone around the fed. Of course he knows plenty of people here, and he’s friendly to almost everyone. No one around here, though, that he could trust fully for a tag team partner.
~The Television Title wouldn’t be too hard to get. Taufik is a good wrestler, but he’d be no match against Kurt. Besides, the title was beneath him. But he could make the title special. Make it a one of a kind title that anyone and everyone would want a piece of with him holding it.
~The Sin City Title? Clash and Blaze will probably be going back and forth for a while battling for that title. Wouldn’t mind getting a shot at it in the near future though, held onto the International Title over in PW:U for 126 days straight and it made that title and him famous over in PW:U.
~Finally, there was the World Title. Roxi’s having her war with Iconic Aggression, so I’m sure she’s not in the mood to be defending that title any time soon. But it would be great to hold onto a World Title again.
~So many titles and each and every one of them would be just fine to have around his waist. Of course he has the Awesome Title, but one title just isn’t enough for Kurt. But before he can contend for a title, he must first show that he deserves a shot, and the best way to show that you deserve a shot at a title is by winning, and that’s what Kurt is going to do. He’s going to win matches the only way he knows how, by putting on such a show that people will always remember the match if they watch it. That’s what he’s always done and that state of mind has made him such a success in wrestling since his first match.
~No way that he’ll have a match next week though. I mean look at the guy, he’s cut up from the top of his head, all the way down to his feet. He’s going to have stitches galore and he’ll probably get an ex-ray after he’s done here to make sure everything inside his body is ok. So Kurt does his best to relax as the needle pierces his body. In and out. In and out. In and out……. Giggity.
~Just as Kurt is about to take a nap on the table that he’s on, he feels someone poking him on the shoulder. He opens his eyes, hoping its some hot chick with Double D breast, but instead is met by a MPW staff member with a pony tail and zits covering his face.
*That’s like most of the people who judge out matches. Ami right or am I right?
~Dude! Don’t’ say shit like that. Now we’re going to lose the match because you called the writers losers.
*I could have been a lot harsher in the description. Like they live with their mom’s basement and the only thing they do is play COD and eat Cheetos while jerking off to low class internet porn.
~(Face Palm)
Kurt Newman: “Can I help you?”
MPW Staff Member: “(We’ll just call him Bob because I don’t feel like typing MPW Staff Member each and every time.) Hey Mr. Newman! Great match. I know you’re busy and all but management wanted to let you know that you have a match next week.”
Kurt Newman: “You got to be kidding me man. I’m cut up like hell right now and we don’t’ even know how deep my injuries are. Can’t you get someone else to wrestle?”
Bob: “Sorry Mr. Newman, but we had some last minute cancelations and your name was brought up. We made it worth your wild though. You’ll be main eventing next week. We’ll let you know as soon as possible who you’ll be facing off against in the next day or so.”
~With that, Bob leaves, leaving Kurt to ponder in his mind of what to do now. He doesn’t want to wrestle next week. His body is hurting like hell right now; it’ll only get worse by the end of the week as the days pass and the swelling increases.
~Kurt takes a deep breathe in, it hurts like hell when he does, but he gets over it as he tells himself it’s time to man up. All he can do now is wait and see who he’s facing off against and pray like hell that he’ll be ok by the end of the week.
-Day Of Reloaded Showing-
(I’m still in pain from my match with Crow. The stitches are still in and they won’t be getting out for another week. Bruised three ribs, received an ass load of stitches, dislocated my left pinky finger, and most likely had a minor concussion. Doctors said I was cleared to wrestle for tonight’s match. So here I am, sitting down in an ice bath, trying to get my body ready for my up and coming match with the World Champ herself, Roxi Johnson in the Main Event. Any other night I would be jumping for joy, but I’m in no condition to wrestle. Every step I take is painful than the last step and I’m so stiff as hell right now that I can barely bend over to tie my shoes. But I’m not going to complain. I’m not going to cry and I’m not going to just give up. That’ what other people do. Kurt Newman doesn’t do that shit. He goes with the flow and gives it his all. I need to. I have to. I need to give it everything I have because this is an opportunity of a life time. This is my ticket to being a contender here in MPW once again. With a victory tonight, I’ll be telling everyone that Kurt Newman is back and he’s better than ever.)
(It’s so cold in this ice bath. My nipples are as hard as stones and I have some total shrinkage from Kurt Jr. I’ve been taking ice baths every day to keep the swelling down and it’s been helping so far. It still sucks though. Good thing I got company. I reach over and grab my rubber ducky and stare at it as Sesame Streets My Ducky song plays in my head. Come on people, you know the song. Sing it along with me! Follow the bouncing ball.)
(Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath times lots of fun! Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you! Quack Quack! Have fun having that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.)
Kurt Newman: “Last week, I fought against the Devil himself and I won. I beat Crow in a barbed wire ladder match and now he’s gone forever. Never to return to MPW again. It was one hell of a match and I put everything on the line to take Crow out. He took his shots on me as you can see and I’ll be feeling the effects of him for a while. But in the end of the day, it was worth getting that psychopath out of MPW for good. And because of my heroics, I’m rewarded by facing off against the current MPW World Champion, Roxi Johnson.
Roxi, I got no problem with you. You’ve always been a class act in my view and I wish you the greatest of success in the future. Tonight though, you face off against Kurt Newman. The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The Man That Puts Awe into Awesome. The Humanoid Hurricane. The Kurt Newman that fought cancer to make his way back to wrestling to get an opportunity to fight you in a match just like tonight. You know better than anyone what’s at stake for me with tonight’s match. I beat you, I tell every wrestler and everyone in management that Kurt Newman is truly back in MPW and that he is a contender for the World title belt.
Now as you can see, I’m not in the best of shape to be facing off against you. It’s a crime that I’m not at 100 percent for tonight’s match and I truly wish I was because this match would be even better if I was at 100 percent. But I’m not. I’m not going to let my injuries stop me from performing in this match because this match…..this match right now between us……I need this match…..I need to show everyone: the fans, the wrestlers, management……everyone Roxi that Kurt Newman is still a contender. So I’m going to be walking down that ramp, staying together with nothing more than tape, bubble gum, and paper clips……and I’m going to put on a show that only Kurt Newman can put on. I’m going to give it all against you Roxiu because I need this win. I lose this match Roxi and I’m just another body in the back and Roxi, I’m not just another body in the back. I’m a top wrestler in this fed and I’m going to prove it tonight when I wrestle you tonight.”
(I quickly stand up and point at the camera as the camera gets a good view of my naked body.Good thing I have the Awesome Title wrapped around my waist to hide Kurt Jr. from the camera.)
Kurt Newman: “So tonight Roxi……..don’t go easy on me. Don’t feel pity for the guy who’s broken. Don’t feel pity for the guy who survived cancer. Don’t feel sorry for Kurt Newman…..because if you do, I’ll slap you across your face and tell you to give it your all because I’m not getting pity fucked here by anyone tonight. I’m here to win. I’m here to show that Kurt Newman is the new head dog around here and not you or anyone else can stop me from fulfilling my destiny to one day hold that World Title that you now have around your waist.
I’d wish you luck Roxi…….but I’m already fucking Lady Luck, and she’s been liking what she’s been getting as of late.”
(With that, I sit back down in the tub and go back to playing with my rubber ducky.)
Kurt Newman: “Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! To make bath times lots of fun! Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you! Quack Quack!”
End Scene
~The scene begins…….
*Wait?!? We’re in an rp again! We haven’t been in a promo for months now! Not since we left that other fed and came over here!
~Well Kurt is facing off against Roxi so Chris (the guy typing this shit) decided to bring the big guns out since this match will probably be a close one. People love us. Only reason why people read this filth to begin with. I mean a typical Kurt Newman promo is nothing more than fart and sex jokes, so we’re around to switch it up a little.
*Hey man, I’m just glad that we’re back in the job. I got a family to feed.
~But you don’t have a family. We’re just voices in Kurt’s head.
*Are we? I thought we were voices in Chris’s head.
~Now that you mention it, I never understood our meaning either.
(Will you guys shut up? I’m getting stitches and you two are talking nonsense. At least you two are finally done arguing about whose better: DC or Marvel.)
~MARVEL!
*DC
(You’re both wrong! Black Horse is the best!)
*Black Horse? Are you serious? You’re such a pussy!
(Whatever! Just go back to monologing me will you! I’d do it myself but the stitches I’m getting are hurting like a bitch.)
~Black Horse. Really? Whatever. So the scene begins with Kurt Newman, freshly off his win with Crow, in the back of the arena being attended to by medical staff. Hurting and bleeding like hell, Kurt slowly made his way to the back of the arena and was attended by the medical staff for his wounds that he received by the hands of Crow. The barbed wire did a number on his body and a rib or two were probably broken or bruised when he jumped off the top of the ladder and landed on Crow below. At the end of the match, Kurt was the victor and Crow was finally out of MPW for good. Kurt knew it was going to be a painful match. It was a painful match the last time the two met in a ring. This match felt so much better for Kurt because did something that very few men have been able to do against Crow, he out classed Crow in a hardcore type match. The sky is a the limit now for Kurt as he lays on his belly and endures the needle that will be piercing his skin for the next hour or so to close up all the deep wounds from the barbed wire.
~Kurt can’t help but think what was next. The sky was the limit and the only thing Kurt had to do was to take a step in the right direction. The question now is which direction to go? The tag team division needs some help, but who would he team with? It’s not like Kurt’s really close friends with anyone around the fed. Of course he knows plenty of people here, and he’s friendly to almost everyone. No one around here, though, that he could trust fully for a tag team partner.
~The Television Title wouldn’t be too hard to get. Taufik is a good wrestler, but he’d be no match against Kurt. Besides, the title was beneath him. But he could make the title special. Make it a one of a kind title that anyone and everyone would want a piece of with him holding it.
~The Sin City Title? Clash and Blaze will probably be going back and forth for a while battling for that title. Wouldn’t mind getting a shot at it in the near future though, held onto the International Title over in PW:U for 126 days straight and it made that title and him famous over in PW:U.
~Finally, there was the World Title. Roxi’s having her war with Iconic Aggression, so I’m sure she’s not in the mood to be defending that title any time soon. But it would be great to hold onto a World Title again.
~So many titles and each and every one of them would be just fine to have around his waist. Of course he has the Awesome Title, but one title just isn’t enough for Kurt. But before he can contend for a title, he must first show that he deserves a shot, and the best way to show that you deserve a shot at a title is by winning, and that’s what Kurt is going to do. He’s going to win matches the only way he knows how, by putting on such a show that people will always remember the match if they watch it. That’s what he’s always done and that state of mind has made him such a success in wrestling since his first match.
~No way that he’ll have a match next week though. I mean look at the guy, he’s cut up from the top of his head, all the way down to his feet. He’s going to have stitches galore and he’ll probably get an ex-ray after he’s done here to make sure everything inside his body is ok. So Kurt does his best to relax as the needle pierces his body. In and out. In and out. In and out……. Giggity.
~Just as Kurt is about to take a nap on the table that he’s on, he feels someone poking him on the shoulder. He opens his eyes, hoping its some hot chick with Double D breast, but instead is met by a MPW staff member with a pony tail and zits covering his face.
*That’s like most of the people who judge out matches. Ami right or am I right?
~Dude! Don’t’ say shit like that. Now we’re going to lose the match because you called the writers losers.
*I could have been a lot harsher in the description. Like they live with their mom’s basement and the only thing they do is play COD and eat Cheetos while jerking off to low class internet porn.
~(Face Palm)
Kurt Newman: “Can I help you?”
MPW Staff Member: “(We’ll just call him Bob because I don’t feel like typing MPW Staff Member each and every time.) Hey Mr. Newman! Great match. I know you’re busy and all but management wanted to let you know that you have a match next week.”
Kurt Newman: “You got to be kidding me man. I’m cut up like hell right now and we don’t’ even know how deep my injuries are. Can’t you get someone else to wrestle?”
Bob: “Sorry Mr. Newman, but we had some last minute cancelations and your name was brought up. We made it worth your wild though. You’ll be main eventing next week. We’ll let you know as soon as possible who you’ll be facing off against in the next day or so.”
~With that, Bob leaves, leaving Kurt to ponder in his mind of what to do now. He doesn’t want to wrestle next week. His body is hurting like hell right now; it’ll only get worse by the end of the week as the days pass and the swelling increases.
~Kurt takes a deep breathe in, it hurts like hell when he does, but he gets over it as he tells himself it’s time to man up. All he can do now is wait and see who he’s facing off against and pray like hell that he’ll be ok by the end of the week.
-Day Of Reloaded Showing-
(I’m still in pain from my match with Crow. The stitches are still in and they won’t be getting out for another week. Bruised three ribs, received an ass load of stitches, dislocated my left pinky finger, and most likely had a minor concussion. Doctors said I was cleared to wrestle for tonight’s match. So here I am, sitting down in an ice bath, trying to get my body ready for my up and coming match with the World Champ herself, Roxi Johnson in the Main Event. Any other night I would be jumping for joy, but I’m in no condition to wrestle. Every step I take is painful than the last step and I’m so stiff as hell right now that I can barely bend over to tie my shoes. But I’m not going to complain. I’m not going to cry and I’m not going to just give up. That’ what other people do. Kurt Newman doesn’t do that shit. He goes with the flow and gives it his all. I need to. I have to. I need to give it everything I have because this is an opportunity of a life time. This is my ticket to being a contender here in MPW once again. With a victory tonight, I’ll be telling everyone that Kurt Newman is back and he’s better than ever.)
(It’s so cold in this ice bath. My nipples are as hard as stones and I have some total shrinkage from Kurt Jr. I’ve been taking ice baths every day to keep the swelling down and it’s been helping so far. It still sucks though. Good thing I got company. I reach over and grab my rubber ducky and stare at it as Sesame Streets My Ducky song plays in my head. Come on people, you know the song. Sing it along with me! Follow the bouncing ball.)
(Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath times lots of fun! Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you! Quack Quack! Have fun having that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.)
Kurt Newman: “Last week, I fought against the Devil himself and I won. I beat Crow in a barbed wire ladder match and now he’s gone forever. Never to return to MPW again. It was one hell of a match and I put everything on the line to take Crow out. He took his shots on me as you can see and I’ll be feeling the effects of him for a while. But in the end of the day, it was worth getting that psychopath out of MPW for good. And because of my heroics, I’m rewarded by facing off against the current MPW World Champion, Roxi Johnson.
Roxi, I got no problem with you. You’ve always been a class act in my view and I wish you the greatest of success in the future. Tonight though, you face off against Kurt Newman. The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The Man That Puts Awe into Awesome. The Humanoid Hurricane. The Kurt Newman that fought cancer to make his way back to wrestling to get an opportunity to fight you in a match just like tonight. You know better than anyone what’s at stake for me with tonight’s match. I beat you, I tell every wrestler and everyone in management that Kurt Newman is truly back in MPW and that he is a contender for the World title belt.
Now as you can see, I’m not in the best of shape to be facing off against you. It’s a crime that I’m not at 100 percent for tonight’s match and I truly wish I was because this match would be even better if I was at 100 percent. But I’m not. I’m not going to let my injuries stop me from performing in this match because this match…..this match right now between us……I need this match…..I need to show everyone: the fans, the wrestlers, management……everyone Roxi that Kurt Newman is still a contender. So I’m going to be walking down that ramp, staying together with nothing more than tape, bubble gum, and paper clips……and I’m going to put on a show that only Kurt Newman can put on. I’m going to give it all against you Roxiu because I need this win. I lose this match Roxi and I’m just another body in the back and Roxi, I’m not just another body in the back. I’m a top wrestler in this fed and I’m going to prove it tonight when I wrestle you tonight.”
(I quickly stand up and point at the camera as the camera gets a good view of my naked body.Good thing I have the Awesome Title wrapped around my waist to hide Kurt Jr. from the camera.)
Kurt Newman: “So tonight Roxi……..don’t go easy on me. Don’t feel pity for the guy who’s broken. Don’t feel pity for the guy who survived cancer. Don’t feel sorry for Kurt Newman…..because if you do, I’ll slap you across your face and tell you to give it your all because I’m not getting pity fucked here by anyone tonight. I’m here to win. I’m here to show that Kurt Newman is the new head dog around here and not you or anyone else can stop me from fulfilling my destiny to one day hold that World Title that you now have around your waist.
I’d wish you luck Roxi…….but I’m already fucking Lady Luck, and she’s been liking what she’s been getting as of late.”
(With that, I sit back down in the tub and go back to playing with my rubber ducky.)
Kurt Newman: “Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! To make bath times lots of fun! Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you! Quack Quack!”
End Scene
