Post by Kurt Newman on Nov 23, 2013 16:13:09 GMT -5
(I AM THE WATCHER!)
(I have been tasked to watch and record the pivotal events of the Earth! For time beyond reckoning, I have observed the entire pageant of human history! I am never to act. Only to observe. And no matter what struggles or horror I am forced to witness I am content and honored by the task. For I am also witness to the great grandeur and beauty of the entire planet. But mostly because I’m a huge wrestling fan. One of my favorites? Kurt freakin Newman of course. What’s not to like about him? Funny, talented, and one of the best in wrestling history. There’s only one Kurt Newman but plenty of copies of him.)
(Even though Kurt is that damn good, I’m afraid of what might happen in the upcoming weeks. Last week, I was disturbed, like many of you, with what happen with Kurt last week by taking sides with Christian Carter. I know, I want to cry with the rest of you. He’s been such a people’s champ and all but it’s highly likely that he’s chosen the dark side. I mean come on. Why would he choose to team with Christian Carter? The guys a douche. You’re lucky I don’t tell everyone about your German Porn collection and that one film that you made back in College with Helga and Bernard. No one would look at you the same. I know this because I AM THE WATCHER! And I watch everything……and I do mean everything!)
(I’ve watched as Jackson Blaze worshiped a photo of Toronto’s Mayor, Rob Ford, and lit candles underneath it while also making a sacrifice with a chicken. I’ve watched as Johnny Clash polished his collection of Pokémon figuring dolls while listening to the Spice Girls as he fantasied back to the late 90’s when he really mattered in a wrestling organization. I’ve seen Bliss take a shit, but instead popped out a fetus that belonged to Rage. She didn’t notice it and flushed it with the rest of her poop. I washed at Aeryn Ashfield and Laila tried to reenact two girls and one cup but failed because they couldn’t keep down the dookie, and threw up in each other’s mouths…….which just started off a chain reaction where throw up and poop was everywhere. It was disgusting.)
(I know I’m supposed to be neutral about who I like and who I don’t like, but this is a major bummer for all the Kurt Newman fans out there. But Kurt must have his reason for doing what he did. So I will watch anxiously to see what Kurt has to say. It must have been for a good reason. It must be! I must leave now for I have pressing manors to attend to! There’s a Gilmore Girls Marathon on and it must be watched by……THE WATCHER!)
~Who the hell was that guy?
*Who knows? Some sort of crazy dude with a huge head. I feel bad for the woman who had to give birth to that. I bet you could pass a basketball in and out of her vag with ease with no lube.
~I don’t even want to think about that.
*I think it’s hot………I’ll be right back. Have to use the bathroom for a minute. Don’t mind the noise coming out of there if you hear me screaming.
~Only a minute huh? I bet the ladies love you for that?
*When I’m hung like a horse and have the stamina of one to, they don’t mind.
~………..I need a new job. Anyways, it’s the night of the Reloaded and everyone has finally made it to their seats to watch tonight’s show in the Tokyo Dome. Everyone is excited and everyone can’t wait to see their favorite wrestler in tonight’s matches. What a line up! What an event! What a………..
*Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh……and boom goes the dynamite.
~………………..They don’t pay me enough for this.
*They pay you? This is an outrage! I demand a paid salary! I’m going on strike! Unionize!
~Suddenly, the arena is mixed with different reactions as Avon By Queens Of The Stone Age hits the PA system in the arena. A mix of boos and cheers mix with the music as the familiar music of Kurt Newman’s rocks the arena. The volume turns up louder as Kurt Newman walks into the arena with a huge smile on his face. The Awesome Title hangs on his shoulder as he strides down to the ring in a nice look business suit. In the center of the ring already is a steel chair with a microphone laying on it. As Kurt makes his way into the ring, he stops at the center of the ring and slowly takes the microphone in hand. The arena is restless as pro and anti pro chants engulf the arena.
Pro Chants: “NEWMAN ROCKS!”
Ant Chants: “NEWMAN SUCKS!”
~This goes on for what seems like a life time as Kurt looks into the crowd. The smile that he once had has slowly disappeared. Only a grin can be seen as Kurt brings the microphone up to his lips and tries his best to address the crowd.
*One, two, three, four, the guy that writes this shit is a filthy whore!
Kurt Newman: “It’s been to long since I’ve last been in a wrestling ring in Columbus, Ohio. But you can’t say that I’m not huge in Ohio.”
~The arena erupts with applause as Kurt pauses and lets the fans appreciation consume him.
Kurt Newman: “Now I’ve been getting this question over and over and over and over again. I’ve been asked in person, I’ve been asked on Facebook and Twitter and by text and by phone. I’ve been asked time and time again of why I did what I did last week. Why did I join sides with Christian Carter? Why did I attack Soul Shadow? Why did Christian Carter come down and help me with my match with Roxi? Why……why……why Kurt why. And the only response that I’ve been giving out is to wait. Wait till tonight because I was going to explain it all to you…..because you deserve it.”
~The arena erupts with a mix of reaction as Kurt lowers the microphone from his lips as he looks around the arena.
*Hey hey! Ho ho! Equal pay or we will go! Hey hey! Ho Ho! Equal pay or we will go!
Kurt Newman: “I did what I did last week because it needed to be done. Just like many of you watching now and everyone in the back, I’m sick and tired of this little feud between the Resistance and Iconic Aggression. It’s nothing more than politics in the back right now and it’s not making wrestling fun for anyone that isn’t a part of this stupid feud. It’s either you’re on one side or you’re on the other. It’s Republican vs. Democrat. It’s Star Wars vs. Star Trek. It’s PlayStation vs. X-Box. It’s Yankees vs. The Red Sox. It’s either you choose one side or the other….and if you just want to stay neutral; you’re shunned and ignored and looked down upon for not choosing a side. I look at this stupid war between these two factions and its waste of time. It’s stupid and it’s making this fed look like a total joke. This is a wrestling federation. But as of late it’s been nothing more than a Soap Opera than a wrestling fed. ”
~Kurt pauses for a second as he makes his way over to the chair and sits on it.
*I demand that we make the minimum wage of 15 dollars and hour!
~What do you do around here that you should make 15 dollars an hour? All I see you do is make fart jokes, drink, and sleep.
*Hey, that’s all hard work.
Kurt Newman: “Now that I think about it, it’s been nothing more than a pissing contest as of late of who has the bigger dick around here….and it’s causing people around here to act like major dicks. But people forget around here that Kurt Newman has the biggest dick in the back and he’s not afraid to use it. Now I don’t mind either side. I’m good drinking buddies with both sides and I don’t mind either side too much. So it’s been hard to figure out what side to choose until I finally just gave up and said fuck it. I’m not playing these stupid games and I’m not going to destroy friendships over different points of views with people. So I told both sides that I wasn’t playing their reindeer games. Well people got butt hurt and words were flung around. But we kissed and made up and I thought I was good on both sides. But nothing was cool. Old friends that I thought I were cool with suddenly didn’t return text messages or calls. Simple hello’s down the halls ways in the back of the arena turned to grunts or nasty looks. Beer nights with the friends slowly turned to me sitting at a bar by myself. Kurt Newman had lost his friends because each and everyone in the back decided that since I didn’t choose a side that I wasn’t worth their time.
So I made my point across to everyone last week when I drew a line in the sand and told not just the Resistance…..but also Iconic Aggression…….that I’m not playing this stupid fight between you two. Kurt Newman came back to wrestle and he came back to steel the spot light. So either get out of my way from fulfilling my destiny in being the very best here in MPW or get ready for a fight against Kurt Newman because I fought my way back here from cancer, and I’m not leaving because two super groups want to be idiots and stomp on everyone else who’s not a part of it.”
~The arena erupts with different emotions as Kurt leans back in his chair and stares into the camera.
Kurt Newman: “Now why Christian Carter? Why Christian Carter of all people to team up with. Well myself and Chris, we’ve known each other since this fed started. Another drinking buddy of mine. And since I left, Christian was one of the very few people who kept in contact with me. He’d come and visit and he’d call me up to see how I was doing weekly. Now I know Chris might be a pain in the ass at times….. but at the end of the day, there’s no one closer to me that I’d rather have to watch my back than Chris. But a few weeks ago, myself and Chris were drinking and we just started talking about how jacked up this fed was. We were naming out the hypocrisy and all the bull shit that was going inside this ring and behind the stage in the back and the two of us thought it was total bullshit. So finally, we both got to the point where enough was enough and there had to be a change. So this is nothing more than a warning between Iconic Aggression and The Resistance. Get your stupid feud over with and get it done soon because this whole big group shit is getting really old really fast.
I mean the Resistance originally had a purpose. They wanted revenge with Iconic Aggression and they did. They got the World Title, the Sin City Title, the Tag Team Titles, and now just recently the Television title. You made your point and Iconic Aggression is done. But you’re still sticking around and still growing with new members. When you guys going to stop huh? When is the military war machine going to stop building? Who’s the next target Clash and Roxi huh? How much more revenge are you going to want? How much more blood is going to be shed? You’re no longer a Resistance; you’re starting to become a dictatorship each and every day you guys keep that group together. Who are you to decide who the good guys and who the bad guys are huh? Who put you in charge? Who gave you the right to judge who’s right and who’s wrong? You don’t’ decide, the fans don’t decide and management doesn’t decide. The only one who does is God almighty himself. I’m sorry I had to attack you Soul Shadow. I’m sorry I had to beat you with the help of Chris Roxi. I’m sorry for the things that are going to happen here in the next couple of weeks. But someone had to do it. Someone had to put the point across and tell you because no one in the back had the guts to tell you…..but I did and I will continue to do so until this soap opera finally gets back to a wrestling. ”
~A grin appears on Kurt’s face as he looks into the camera.
*You know who a dictator is?!? Chris Cummins for not giving up a livable wage!
~Dude, we’re nothing more than voices in his head. Why do you even need money?
*My drug and alcohol needs. That shit ain’t cheap and it helps me be my creative self. Why do you think people read our promo’s? They love me?
~Who loves you? Who did you poll? Who did you ask?
*…….my pet hamsters Mr. Teeth and Mr. Kickass Awesome!
Kurt Newman: “Soul Shadow. What happen last week between the two of us…….that was nothing more than business. I got no problem with you and I’ve heard nothing but great things about you but a statement had to be made and I made it against you only because you were facing off against Chris. That’s it. No grudges. No anger. No nothing. I know you and Chris have some history……but for the masses to know that myself and Chris were going to be a team, we might as well make that statement against the current tag team champs. I wish the circumstances would had been different……but they weren’t and I did what I did. But hey, you got your shot at me this week and now you can get your revenge on me after I cleaned your clock with my Awesome Title.”
~Kurt pauses as he holds the Awesome title up to the camera to show off his face that’s on the title.
KurT Newman: “It’s an awesome title ain’t it? It’s got my face on it and everything. I mean they don’t call me Mr. Awesome and the Man That Puts Awe into Awesome for nothing.”
~Kurt places the Awesome Title back on his shoulder as he goes back to talking.
KurT Newman: “But come on Soul, you think you can really beat me? I mean I’m an MPW original. I’m a multi World Champ from numerous fed who has wrestled around the world. I’ve been undefeated since my return and I took out Crow in a Barbed Wire Ladder match. He’s never coming back to MPW Soul and that’s because of me. How happy were you when that happen huh? I know you and him hated each other’s guts, but you were never able to get rid of the son bitch. But no worries…..I did it for you and I got the scars to show what you really had to do to get rid of that son of bitch.”
~Kurt slowly stands up and makes his way over to the ropes as he stares out to the crowd.
Kurt Newman: “I’m cocky, I’m arrogant, I got a swagger that irritates individuals. But I’ve earned that right to act that way. I’ve done it all in every wrestling fed I’ve ever been in and I will continue with my success here in MPW. I steal the shows! I do moves that no one else ever does and put my body on the line every night to prove that I am the best. Now I know there are plenty of people in the back that say the opposite. But what the hell have they done? What have they done to outshine me? What have they done to put themselves above me? I’m wrestling against nothing more than copies of copies of other wrestlers. There is only one Kurt Newman. I’m original. I’m a brand. I’m a life style. MPW didn’t make Kurt Newman……but Kurt Newman is going to remake MPW into something so much better once management decides to pull the trigger with me. I’m simply the best and I have proven it time and time and time again and tonight, I will show why I am truly the best here in MPW by winning this match tonight…..or die trying because I’m looking for Championship gold and those Tag Team Titles sure would look nice around my waist.”
~The arena erupts with cheers as Kurt has a fire in his eyes.
Kurt Newman: “Last week I beat the World Champion for the three count. The weak before that, I told everyone why I’m the King of the Barbed Wire Ladder Match by beating Crow for his career. This week, this week I’m going to beat you for the win and I’m going to show everyone that Kurt Newman is for real and he’s here to dominate MPW.”
*Yeah, dominating at sucking cock like Chris Cummins does.
~Not cool man. Chris is going to stop writing you and kick you off if you keep on being a bitch.
*Oh please. Chris doesn’t have the balls to kick me of…………
~……*, you there? ………….oh well.
Kurt Newman: “I’d wish you luck Soul……but I’m fucking Lady Luck…..and she’s been liking what she’s been getting as of late. But don’t feel bad to losing to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy because you’re not going to be the first person to ever lose to me and you won’t’ be the last. I’ll see you in the ring Soul. And bring your hot little partner down so I can show her what a real man looks like.”
~Kurt winks into the camera and shows off his pearly whites as Avon by Queens of the Stone Age plays throughout the arena once again. Kurt drops the microphone and makes his way out of the arena as he holds the Awesome Title up in the air as the audience in the arena look on.
(I have been tasked to watch and record the pivotal events of the Earth! For time beyond reckoning, I have observed the entire pageant of human history! I am never to act. Only to observe. And no matter what struggles or horror I am forced to witness I am content and honored by the task. For I am also witness to the great grandeur and beauty of the entire planet. But mostly because I’m a huge wrestling fan. One of my favorites? Kurt freakin Newman of course. What’s not to like about him? Funny, talented, and one of the best in wrestling history. There’s only one Kurt Newman but plenty of copies of him.)
(Even though Kurt is that damn good, I’m afraid of what might happen in the upcoming weeks. Last week, I was disturbed, like many of you, with what happen with Kurt last week by taking sides with Christian Carter. I know, I want to cry with the rest of you. He’s been such a people’s champ and all but it’s highly likely that he’s chosen the dark side. I mean come on. Why would he choose to team with Christian Carter? The guys a douche. You’re lucky I don’t tell everyone about your German Porn collection and that one film that you made back in College with Helga and Bernard. No one would look at you the same. I know this because I AM THE WATCHER! And I watch everything……and I do mean everything!)
(I’ve watched as Jackson Blaze worshiped a photo of Toronto’s Mayor, Rob Ford, and lit candles underneath it while also making a sacrifice with a chicken. I’ve watched as Johnny Clash polished his collection of Pokémon figuring dolls while listening to the Spice Girls as he fantasied back to the late 90’s when he really mattered in a wrestling organization. I’ve seen Bliss take a shit, but instead popped out a fetus that belonged to Rage. She didn’t notice it and flushed it with the rest of her poop. I washed at Aeryn Ashfield and Laila tried to reenact two girls and one cup but failed because they couldn’t keep down the dookie, and threw up in each other’s mouths…….which just started off a chain reaction where throw up and poop was everywhere. It was disgusting.)
(I know I’m supposed to be neutral about who I like and who I don’t like, but this is a major bummer for all the Kurt Newman fans out there. But Kurt must have his reason for doing what he did. So I will watch anxiously to see what Kurt has to say. It must have been for a good reason. It must be! I must leave now for I have pressing manors to attend to! There’s a Gilmore Girls Marathon on and it must be watched by……THE WATCHER!)
~Who the hell was that guy?
*Who knows? Some sort of crazy dude with a huge head. I feel bad for the woman who had to give birth to that. I bet you could pass a basketball in and out of her vag with ease with no lube.
~I don’t even want to think about that.
*I think it’s hot………I’ll be right back. Have to use the bathroom for a minute. Don’t mind the noise coming out of there if you hear me screaming.
~Only a minute huh? I bet the ladies love you for that?
*When I’m hung like a horse and have the stamina of one to, they don’t mind.
~………..I need a new job. Anyways, it’s the night of the Reloaded and everyone has finally made it to their seats to watch tonight’s show in the Tokyo Dome. Everyone is excited and everyone can’t wait to see their favorite wrestler in tonight’s matches. What a line up! What an event! What a………..
*Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh……and boom goes the dynamite.
~………………..They don’t pay me enough for this.
*They pay you? This is an outrage! I demand a paid salary! I’m going on strike! Unionize!
~Suddenly, the arena is mixed with different reactions as Avon By Queens Of The Stone Age hits the PA system in the arena. A mix of boos and cheers mix with the music as the familiar music of Kurt Newman’s rocks the arena. The volume turns up louder as Kurt Newman walks into the arena with a huge smile on his face. The Awesome Title hangs on his shoulder as he strides down to the ring in a nice look business suit. In the center of the ring already is a steel chair with a microphone laying on it. As Kurt makes his way into the ring, he stops at the center of the ring and slowly takes the microphone in hand. The arena is restless as pro and anti pro chants engulf the arena.
Pro Chants: “NEWMAN ROCKS!”
Ant Chants: “NEWMAN SUCKS!”
~This goes on for what seems like a life time as Kurt looks into the crowd. The smile that he once had has slowly disappeared. Only a grin can be seen as Kurt brings the microphone up to his lips and tries his best to address the crowd.
*One, two, three, four, the guy that writes this shit is a filthy whore!
Kurt Newman: “It’s been to long since I’ve last been in a wrestling ring in Columbus, Ohio. But you can’t say that I’m not huge in Ohio.”
~The arena erupts with applause as Kurt pauses and lets the fans appreciation consume him.
Kurt Newman: “Now I’ve been getting this question over and over and over and over again. I’ve been asked in person, I’ve been asked on Facebook and Twitter and by text and by phone. I’ve been asked time and time again of why I did what I did last week. Why did I join sides with Christian Carter? Why did I attack Soul Shadow? Why did Christian Carter come down and help me with my match with Roxi? Why……why……why Kurt why. And the only response that I’ve been giving out is to wait. Wait till tonight because I was going to explain it all to you…..because you deserve it.”
~The arena erupts with a mix of reaction as Kurt lowers the microphone from his lips as he looks around the arena.
*Hey hey! Ho ho! Equal pay or we will go! Hey hey! Ho Ho! Equal pay or we will go!
Kurt Newman: “I did what I did last week because it needed to be done. Just like many of you watching now and everyone in the back, I’m sick and tired of this little feud between the Resistance and Iconic Aggression. It’s nothing more than politics in the back right now and it’s not making wrestling fun for anyone that isn’t a part of this stupid feud. It’s either you’re on one side or you’re on the other. It’s Republican vs. Democrat. It’s Star Wars vs. Star Trek. It’s PlayStation vs. X-Box. It’s Yankees vs. The Red Sox. It’s either you choose one side or the other….and if you just want to stay neutral; you’re shunned and ignored and looked down upon for not choosing a side. I look at this stupid war between these two factions and its waste of time. It’s stupid and it’s making this fed look like a total joke. This is a wrestling federation. But as of late it’s been nothing more than a Soap Opera than a wrestling fed. ”
~Kurt pauses for a second as he makes his way over to the chair and sits on it.
*I demand that we make the minimum wage of 15 dollars and hour!
~What do you do around here that you should make 15 dollars an hour? All I see you do is make fart jokes, drink, and sleep.
*Hey, that’s all hard work.
Kurt Newman: “Now that I think about it, it’s been nothing more than a pissing contest as of late of who has the bigger dick around here….and it’s causing people around here to act like major dicks. But people forget around here that Kurt Newman has the biggest dick in the back and he’s not afraid to use it. Now I don’t mind either side. I’m good drinking buddies with both sides and I don’t mind either side too much. So it’s been hard to figure out what side to choose until I finally just gave up and said fuck it. I’m not playing these stupid games and I’m not going to destroy friendships over different points of views with people. So I told both sides that I wasn’t playing their reindeer games. Well people got butt hurt and words were flung around. But we kissed and made up and I thought I was good on both sides. But nothing was cool. Old friends that I thought I were cool with suddenly didn’t return text messages or calls. Simple hello’s down the halls ways in the back of the arena turned to grunts or nasty looks. Beer nights with the friends slowly turned to me sitting at a bar by myself. Kurt Newman had lost his friends because each and everyone in the back decided that since I didn’t choose a side that I wasn’t worth their time.
So I made my point across to everyone last week when I drew a line in the sand and told not just the Resistance…..but also Iconic Aggression…….that I’m not playing this stupid fight between you two. Kurt Newman came back to wrestle and he came back to steel the spot light. So either get out of my way from fulfilling my destiny in being the very best here in MPW or get ready for a fight against Kurt Newman because I fought my way back here from cancer, and I’m not leaving because two super groups want to be idiots and stomp on everyone else who’s not a part of it.”
~The arena erupts with different emotions as Kurt leans back in his chair and stares into the camera.
Kurt Newman: “Now why Christian Carter? Why Christian Carter of all people to team up with. Well myself and Chris, we’ve known each other since this fed started. Another drinking buddy of mine. And since I left, Christian was one of the very few people who kept in contact with me. He’d come and visit and he’d call me up to see how I was doing weekly. Now I know Chris might be a pain in the ass at times….. but at the end of the day, there’s no one closer to me that I’d rather have to watch my back than Chris. But a few weeks ago, myself and Chris were drinking and we just started talking about how jacked up this fed was. We were naming out the hypocrisy and all the bull shit that was going inside this ring and behind the stage in the back and the two of us thought it was total bullshit. So finally, we both got to the point where enough was enough and there had to be a change. So this is nothing more than a warning between Iconic Aggression and The Resistance. Get your stupid feud over with and get it done soon because this whole big group shit is getting really old really fast.
I mean the Resistance originally had a purpose. They wanted revenge with Iconic Aggression and they did. They got the World Title, the Sin City Title, the Tag Team Titles, and now just recently the Television title. You made your point and Iconic Aggression is done. But you’re still sticking around and still growing with new members. When you guys going to stop huh? When is the military war machine going to stop building? Who’s the next target Clash and Roxi huh? How much more revenge are you going to want? How much more blood is going to be shed? You’re no longer a Resistance; you’re starting to become a dictatorship each and every day you guys keep that group together. Who are you to decide who the good guys and who the bad guys are huh? Who put you in charge? Who gave you the right to judge who’s right and who’s wrong? You don’t’ decide, the fans don’t decide and management doesn’t decide. The only one who does is God almighty himself. I’m sorry I had to attack you Soul Shadow. I’m sorry I had to beat you with the help of Chris Roxi. I’m sorry for the things that are going to happen here in the next couple of weeks. But someone had to do it. Someone had to put the point across and tell you because no one in the back had the guts to tell you…..but I did and I will continue to do so until this soap opera finally gets back to a wrestling. ”
~A grin appears on Kurt’s face as he looks into the camera.
*You know who a dictator is?!? Chris Cummins for not giving up a livable wage!
~Dude, we’re nothing more than voices in his head. Why do you even need money?
*My drug and alcohol needs. That shit ain’t cheap and it helps me be my creative self. Why do you think people read our promo’s? They love me?
~Who loves you? Who did you poll? Who did you ask?
*…….my pet hamsters Mr. Teeth and Mr. Kickass Awesome!
Kurt Newman: “Soul Shadow. What happen last week between the two of us…….that was nothing more than business. I got no problem with you and I’ve heard nothing but great things about you but a statement had to be made and I made it against you only because you were facing off against Chris. That’s it. No grudges. No anger. No nothing. I know you and Chris have some history……but for the masses to know that myself and Chris were going to be a team, we might as well make that statement against the current tag team champs. I wish the circumstances would had been different……but they weren’t and I did what I did. But hey, you got your shot at me this week and now you can get your revenge on me after I cleaned your clock with my Awesome Title.”
~Kurt pauses as he holds the Awesome title up to the camera to show off his face that’s on the title.
KurT Newman: “It’s an awesome title ain’t it? It’s got my face on it and everything. I mean they don’t call me Mr. Awesome and the Man That Puts Awe into Awesome for nothing.”
~Kurt places the Awesome Title back on his shoulder as he goes back to talking.
KurT Newman: “But come on Soul, you think you can really beat me? I mean I’m an MPW original. I’m a multi World Champ from numerous fed who has wrestled around the world. I’ve been undefeated since my return and I took out Crow in a Barbed Wire Ladder match. He’s never coming back to MPW Soul and that’s because of me. How happy were you when that happen huh? I know you and him hated each other’s guts, but you were never able to get rid of the son bitch. But no worries…..I did it for you and I got the scars to show what you really had to do to get rid of that son of bitch.”
~Kurt slowly stands up and makes his way over to the ropes as he stares out to the crowd.
Kurt Newman: “I’m cocky, I’m arrogant, I got a swagger that irritates individuals. But I’ve earned that right to act that way. I’ve done it all in every wrestling fed I’ve ever been in and I will continue with my success here in MPW. I steal the shows! I do moves that no one else ever does and put my body on the line every night to prove that I am the best. Now I know there are plenty of people in the back that say the opposite. But what the hell have they done? What have they done to outshine me? What have they done to put themselves above me? I’m wrestling against nothing more than copies of copies of other wrestlers. There is only one Kurt Newman. I’m original. I’m a brand. I’m a life style. MPW didn’t make Kurt Newman……but Kurt Newman is going to remake MPW into something so much better once management decides to pull the trigger with me. I’m simply the best and I have proven it time and time and time again and tonight, I will show why I am truly the best here in MPW by winning this match tonight…..or die trying because I’m looking for Championship gold and those Tag Team Titles sure would look nice around my waist.”
~The arena erupts with cheers as Kurt has a fire in his eyes.
Kurt Newman: “Last week I beat the World Champion for the three count. The weak before that, I told everyone why I’m the King of the Barbed Wire Ladder Match by beating Crow for his career. This week, this week I’m going to beat you for the win and I’m going to show everyone that Kurt Newman is for real and he’s here to dominate MPW.”
*Yeah, dominating at sucking cock like Chris Cummins does.
~Not cool man. Chris is going to stop writing you and kick you off if you keep on being a bitch.
*Oh please. Chris doesn’t have the balls to kick me of…………
~……*, you there? ………….oh well.
Kurt Newman: “I’d wish you luck Soul……but I’m fucking Lady Luck…..and she’s been liking what she’s been getting as of late. But don’t feel bad to losing to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy because you’re not going to be the first person to ever lose to me and you won’t’ be the last. I’ll see you in the ring Soul. And bring your hot little partner down so I can show her what a real man looks like.”
~Kurt winks into the camera and shows off his pearly whites as Avon by Queens of the Stone Age plays throughout the arena once again. Kurt drops the microphone and makes his way out of the arena as he holds the Awesome Title up in the air as the audience in the arena look on.
