Post by sonjamlickinova on Jul 29, 2012 19:27:40 GMT -5
Rain trickled down outside Our Sister of Suffering Tongues Monastery. With her current work and education visas nearing expiration, “The Molotov Mocktail” Sonja Maria Lickinova made a last ditch effort to seek asylum. Knocking on the ornate double doors she was greeted by a nun named Sister Dasha Hesper holding a dimly-lit candle. Wrapped in a ruby red bathrobe, black spiked stiletto heels, and a pink towel swirled around her head, Lickinova clearly looks outside of her element. After a few seconds to analyze the situation, the nun starts with a minor inquisition.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Why are you here, young lady?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: To seek sanctuary for beink illegal immigrant.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Undocumented individual. Are you able to find work?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Dare’s (There’s) always new business in my line of work.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What kind of work are you in?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: The business of professional wrestlink.
Sister Dasha Hesper: A brutal calling for anyone. But everyone needs means to atone for their vices. How long will you be here?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Just need a few weeks to secure a spot on the MP-Doble U roster.
Sister Dasha Hesper: M.P.U.U.?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Nyet. What is letter that looks like two V’s smashed together?
Sister Dasha Hesper: W. M.P.W…Millennium Pro Wrestling?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Is interview process almost over, dahlink?
For the first time in a while, the nun realized the minimal shower gradually upgraded to a major downpour. With a waving motion of her left hand, she guided Sonja Maria to a cloistered dormitory room. Located in the north-facing belfry, the room illuminated or darkened through a solitary window. Other amenities included a bed, dresser, nightstand with a Gideon-donated Christian Holy Bible and the Kama Sutra, and an adjacent bathroom. Gazing upon the contrasting reading material left Lickinova puzzled.
Sonja Maria Lickinova: What faith do you practice?
Nun: Nonjudgmental.
The nun then walked back down the hall with a slight smirk on her face. Obviously, she had been assigned the duty of night watch. Why else would a woman of the cloth provide such a flippant answer? Sonja Maria paid no heed as she prepared to rest. The first order of business was getting out of her damp bathrobe and into some dry clothes. The following is a list of what she slipped into: one banana-yellow bra; one baby-blue polo shirt with a torn Lickda Phi Delta crest on it; one pair of cherry-red panties with thirty single-dollar bills hugging each hip; one sky-blue secretarial skirt cut precariously above the knee; two lime-green stockings with four single-dollar bills poking out of the right one, five single-dollars secured in her left; and a pair of black, spiked stiletto heels. Such a wardrobe ensemble appeared to be suffering from a litany of malfunctions. Of course, what’s more surprising is that she ordered thirteen similar outfits through the MPW Wardrobe Department. “The Saratov Sweetheart” then re-focused attention over some notations.
Her notations were in reference to the opponents who awaited her challenge at MPW’s SuperShow. What chance in hell did she have against a misogynistic marksman (Bloodhound), an anonymous aerialist (Vulcan), and a dude willing to take himself out in order to win a match (Aaron “Kamikaze” Knight)? At the last company she worked for, Lickinova was scheduled to participate in a heated Bra & Panties Match. Here, in MPW, if she focused on her craft, Sonja Maria would be considered an equal amongst her male peers. However, the past week would be spent licking herself into a crazed frenzy inside the confusing confines of Our Sister of Suffering Tongues Monastery.
Finally, “The Saratov Sweetheart” and “Molotov Mocktail” Sonja Maria Lickinova could take no more. Wailing in self-induced exclusion, she cried out for someone to talk to. Upon hearing the call, Sister Dasha Hesper opened the door and began an impromptu counseling session.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Good afternoon, my name is Sister Dasha Hesper. Your name is?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: I have been here for what feels like week. How come you ask for my name now?
Sister Dasha Hesper: Most of the sisters were uncomfortable with your current situation, Miss…
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Ms. Sonja Maria Lickinova. Da, Lickinova is real last name.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Well, Ms. Lickinova, it appears that you have a currently uncontrolled desire to lick various objects including yourself.
Becoming self-aware for the first time in a week, Sonja Maria Lickinova stopped licking her right arm, wrist, and hand.
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Dare is somethink about lickink dat turns me into primal animal.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Do you see a correlation between such instincts and your current livelihood of professional wrestling?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Nyet. I have been released from a half-dozen organizations because of my instincts. They take over.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What can you tell me about your opponents this week?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Readink over some notes, I have three opponents this week. Smart money would be on me to not even show up to arena this week. Lay low. If Bloodhound had his way, dat’s exactly what I would do. He may think he’s biggest dog in fight, but he’s not faced bitch like me before. Break some bones about it; he always has someone to pick on. Take Vulcan, for example.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What about Vulcan?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Vulcan is a misunderstood mental mountain of a midget.
Sister Dasha Hesper: He’s a short-statured fellow?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: You could say that. However, unlike Bloodhound, Vulcan has enough logic, skill, and heart to take down the much bigger Bloodhound. Dat is why he tries to bully him. And then there’s Aaron “Kamikaze” Knight. No one can hear him like whimper in heavy wind.
Sister Dasha Hesper: You are not much better, Ms. Lickinova. What do you think prevents MPW from releasing you after your match this week?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Talent enhancements…She points to her ample chest. always get a second look. Besides, I am makink effort now.
Sister Dasha Hesper: For your sake, Ms. Lickinova, I hope you are right. Next question, what made you an undocumented individual?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Years ago, I was hired through phony foreign exchange program. At time, I belonged to a sorority known as Lickda Phi Delta. American businessman who ran professional wrestlink company placed me as a valet for two second-generation wrestlers. Their experiment as a tag-team combination went over like fart in church. They kept losink. Then, time came to split them up. The fans gravitated towards one and so did I. More time went by and I became more popular.
Sister Dasha Hesper: So, the phony foreign exchange program would be the reason why your education visa ran out?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Otherwise, I was a standout at Saratov. Dat is reason why I am “The Saratov Sweetheart.” As for being called “Molotov Mocktail”? Dat was purely for marketink purposes. Needed to appear innocent but still have the assumption dat I was straw stirrink da drink.
Sister Dasha Hesper: I believe we are just scratching the surface here. Would you like to schedule another sesssion today? Also, I believe rent for the week is due and we're down 69 dollars. Why do you have money on your person in such a way? Do you want to get mugged?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: I thought we were just havink good conversation. I have money stashed this way to maintain public perception. Besides, this money is my remainink unemployment benefits. As for being mugged? I work as a performer who willinkly gets punched, slapped, and kicked in face. Sister Dasha, I think I need some more alone time. Get myself into right frame of mind for match this week.
"The Molotov Mocktail" then sends Sister Dasha Hesper away with the 69 dollars as she reacquaints herself to addiction. Content in the knowledge that she might be awarded another opportunity, Lickinova goes to sleep. Tomorrow, she will head to the arena, put on a decent show, and be better prepared.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Why are you here, young lady?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: To seek sanctuary for beink illegal immigrant.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Undocumented individual. Are you able to find work?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Dare’s (There’s) always new business in my line of work.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What kind of work are you in?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: The business of professional wrestlink.
Sister Dasha Hesper: A brutal calling for anyone. But everyone needs means to atone for their vices. How long will you be here?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Just need a few weeks to secure a spot on the MP-Doble U roster.
Sister Dasha Hesper: M.P.U.U.?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Nyet. What is letter that looks like two V’s smashed together?
Sister Dasha Hesper: W. M.P.W…Millennium Pro Wrestling?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Is interview process almost over, dahlink?
For the first time in a while, the nun realized the minimal shower gradually upgraded to a major downpour. With a waving motion of her left hand, she guided Sonja Maria to a cloistered dormitory room. Located in the north-facing belfry, the room illuminated or darkened through a solitary window. Other amenities included a bed, dresser, nightstand with a Gideon-donated Christian Holy Bible and the Kama Sutra, and an adjacent bathroom. Gazing upon the contrasting reading material left Lickinova puzzled.
Sonja Maria Lickinova: What faith do you practice?
Nun: Nonjudgmental.
The nun then walked back down the hall with a slight smirk on her face. Obviously, she had been assigned the duty of night watch. Why else would a woman of the cloth provide such a flippant answer? Sonja Maria paid no heed as she prepared to rest. The first order of business was getting out of her damp bathrobe and into some dry clothes. The following is a list of what she slipped into: one banana-yellow bra; one baby-blue polo shirt with a torn Lickda Phi Delta crest on it; one pair of cherry-red panties with thirty single-dollar bills hugging each hip; one sky-blue secretarial skirt cut precariously above the knee; two lime-green stockings with four single-dollar bills poking out of the right one, five single-dollars secured in her left; and a pair of black, spiked stiletto heels. Such a wardrobe ensemble appeared to be suffering from a litany of malfunctions. Of course, what’s more surprising is that she ordered thirteen similar outfits through the MPW Wardrobe Department. “The Saratov Sweetheart” then re-focused attention over some notations.
Her notations were in reference to the opponents who awaited her challenge at MPW’s SuperShow. What chance in hell did she have against a misogynistic marksman (Bloodhound), an anonymous aerialist (Vulcan), and a dude willing to take himself out in order to win a match (Aaron “Kamikaze” Knight)? At the last company she worked for, Lickinova was scheduled to participate in a heated Bra & Panties Match. Here, in MPW, if she focused on her craft, Sonja Maria would be considered an equal amongst her male peers. However, the past week would be spent licking herself into a crazed frenzy inside the confusing confines of Our Sister of Suffering Tongues Monastery.
Finally, “The Saratov Sweetheart” and “Molotov Mocktail” Sonja Maria Lickinova could take no more. Wailing in self-induced exclusion, she cried out for someone to talk to. Upon hearing the call, Sister Dasha Hesper opened the door and began an impromptu counseling session.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Good afternoon, my name is Sister Dasha Hesper. Your name is?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: I have been here for what feels like week. How come you ask for my name now?
Sister Dasha Hesper: Most of the sisters were uncomfortable with your current situation, Miss…
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Ms. Sonja Maria Lickinova. Da, Lickinova is real last name.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Well, Ms. Lickinova, it appears that you have a currently uncontrolled desire to lick various objects including yourself.
Becoming self-aware for the first time in a week, Sonja Maria Lickinova stopped licking her right arm, wrist, and hand.
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Dare is somethink about lickink dat turns me into primal animal.
Sister Dasha Hesper: Do you see a correlation between such instincts and your current livelihood of professional wrestling?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Nyet. I have been released from a half-dozen organizations because of my instincts. They take over.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What can you tell me about your opponents this week?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Readink over some notes, I have three opponents this week. Smart money would be on me to not even show up to arena this week. Lay low. If Bloodhound had his way, dat’s exactly what I would do. He may think he’s biggest dog in fight, but he’s not faced bitch like me before. Break some bones about it; he always has someone to pick on. Take Vulcan, for example.
Sister Dasha Hesper: What about Vulcan?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Vulcan is a misunderstood mental mountain of a midget.
Sister Dasha Hesper: He’s a short-statured fellow?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: You could say that. However, unlike Bloodhound, Vulcan has enough logic, skill, and heart to take down the much bigger Bloodhound. Dat is why he tries to bully him. And then there’s Aaron “Kamikaze” Knight. No one can hear him like whimper in heavy wind.
Sister Dasha Hesper: You are not much better, Ms. Lickinova. What do you think prevents MPW from releasing you after your match this week?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Talent enhancements…She points to her ample chest. always get a second look. Besides, I am makink effort now.
Sister Dasha Hesper: For your sake, Ms. Lickinova, I hope you are right. Next question, what made you an undocumented individual?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Years ago, I was hired through phony foreign exchange program. At time, I belonged to a sorority known as Lickda Phi Delta. American businessman who ran professional wrestlink company placed me as a valet for two second-generation wrestlers. Their experiment as a tag-team combination went over like fart in church. They kept losink. Then, time came to split them up. The fans gravitated towards one and so did I. More time went by and I became more popular.
Sister Dasha Hesper: So, the phony foreign exchange program would be the reason why your education visa ran out?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: Da. Otherwise, I was a standout at Saratov. Dat is reason why I am “The Saratov Sweetheart.” As for being called “Molotov Mocktail”? Dat was purely for marketink purposes. Needed to appear innocent but still have the assumption dat I was straw stirrink da drink.
Sister Dasha Hesper: I believe we are just scratching the surface here. Would you like to schedule another sesssion today? Also, I believe rent for the week is due and we're down 69 dollars. Why do you have money on your person in such a way? Do you want to get mugged?
Sonja Maria Lickinova: I thought we were just havink good conversation. I have money stashed this way to maintain public perception. Besides, this money is my remainink unemployment benefits. As for being mugged? I work as a performer who willinkly gets punched, slapped, and kicked in face. Sister Dasha, I think I need some more alone time. Get myself into right frame of mind for match this week.
"The Molotov Mocktail" then sends Sister Dasha Hesper away with the 69 dollars as she reacquaints herself to addiction. Content in the knowledge that she might be awarded another opportunity, Lickinova goes to sleep. Tomorrow, she will head to the arena, put on a decent show, and be better prepared.