Post by Kurt Newman on Aug 12, 2012 17:18:17 GMT -5
WARNING: This scene is away from cameras and meant only for a story line. If you use this section of my promo in your promos, I will deny it and call you an idiot. Enjoy my role play.
~The scene begins as I wake up in the middle of the night. I was right in the middle of a dream where myself, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T were playing baseball on the moon against these aliens. If we lost, Earth would be destroyed. If we won though, we would rule over their home planet. I had just hit a home run to win the game. I was rounding the bases and heading home where Eva Mendes was naked and begging me to take her. Just when I was about to kiss her, I wake up from an over loaded bladder. I look up at the blank ceiling above me and I can’t help but cuss underneath my breathe Story of my life.
~I slowly get out of bed in my apartment in Chicago and make my way to the other side of the room to the bathroom. Wiggle lifts his head from his bed to see what the noise is. He goes back to bed though when he notices it’s me. I’m blinded for a few seconds when I turn the lights on and try to make my way over to the toilet. Knowing I’m somewhere near the toilet seat, I whip out Kurt Jr. and begin to drain the lizard. My aim wasn’t as close to the toilet as I thought it would be when I don’t hear my piss hitting the water in the toilet. So I adjust myself until the sound is just right of piss hitting water. Relief fills my face as the pressure on my bladder begins to lighten.
~A minute, or what seems like a minute, passes until the last drop exits my body. I shake Kurt Jr. twice, (because if you shake it more than twice, your just playing with yourself) and tuck him back into my boxers. I slowly shuffle my feet back to my bedroom to get some well needed rest………I stop though as I’m at the door, and slowly look at the one person that I hate the most in this world. The one person that I can’t stand more than anyone else in this world. The one person that I wish I never knew……..myself.
Kurt Newman: “What the hell you looking at.”
~To you, I’m just talking to myself in the mirror. To me though, I’m talking to a completely different person at the other side of the mirror; with his own thoughts, his own views, and his own life. What people don’t know about me, and what I keep secret from everyone…..is that I’m not Kurt Newman. I’m not the Kurt Newman that everyone loves to be around and watch to wrestle. That person is just a character, a mask that I wear over my face to fool everyone to who I truly am. I’m Kurt Newman, a man that’s had a problem with depression since his Dad left him at the age of 3 to start up another family and where his mother told him at the age of 7 that he was born only for a welfare check. I’m the sad clown in the circus known as life.
~The reflection of myself just smiles as I stare at him with a smug look on my face.
Kurt Newman: “You got nothing to judge me on.”
Refection of Kurt Newman: “Sure I do. I got plenty to judge you on. You’re starting to break at the seams buddy. Bliss is in your head too much and she knows this. So she’s going to slowly pull on that lone string of sanity that you have hanging around. She’s going to pull on that string until you’re nothing more than unusable cloth and stuffing.”
Kurt Newman: “Bliss wouldn’t do that to me. She’s not that type of person.”
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “You really think so? You were like a Raggedy Ann Doll that she loved to hold and play with on a daily basis. You got broken though, and she forgot all about you when she stuck you underneath the bed. By the time that she found you, she got older and her views changed in life. Besides, by the time that you came back into her life, she found herself a new toy.”
Kurt Newman: “Shut up!”
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “It’s funny though. You, in this situation right now…….how many ladies have you treated the same way as Bliss has done to you? A few? Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? How do you think they felt when you promised them the world, and come next day, you were gone from their bed. Do you even remember the faces of all the women that you have had sex with? How about the kids that you might of given birth to? You’re acting just like your Dad. Starting up franchises all over the world and then leaving.”
~I bite my lip as the anger on my face is showing now as I continue to listen to my reflection.
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “You smile though, have a good time, have a few laughs, wrestle a few matches, and see the money that comes into your banking account from Newman Industries. You don’t care about the life’s that you’ve affected with your actions. You see life as a joke. So that’s how you treat it. One giant joke.”
~I should just turn the lights off to the bathroom, it’ll shut him up. I don’t though. I want to hear what he says. I want to see how I see myself. I want to see the self-portrait that I paint of myself.
Kurt Newman: “I’ve done a lot of good though for a lot of people.
Kurt Newman: “And why do you do that then? Because your just an awesome individual, or to make up for all the life’s that you’ve ruin. Lie to yourself all you want. You know it’s the truth. You’ve known it though for years. That you’re just a mistake, and no one ever wanted you and will never want to be with you because you are pathetic.”
~All I want to do is hit my reflection. Just shut him up and have him stop talking. My voice though in response to my refection is soft and quite.
Kurt Newman: “I’m working on changing my life. I’ve done a lot of stupid things but I am who I am.”
~The reflection of myself chuckles and gives me a huge smile as he address me.
Kurt Newman: “Whatever helps you sleep at night. You love the spotlight to much though, so much that you’re blinded by the light and you can’t see that you’re just like Blaze. You’re not going to change, you’ve been trying to change for the past 30 years of your life. So why change now? Because you’ve hit that age where you finally see how fucked up your life is? Because Bliss made you open your eyes? Or because you finally see who you truly are. A pathetic loser.”
~I can’t stand the self-torment anymore as I lift my fist up and smash the mirror into itty bitty pieces. I leave my fist against the broken mirror and let my reflections words go round and round and round my head. Haunting me and consuming me.
~Breathe In. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
~I snap out of my trance of being ticked off as I look down at my hand to see my fist covered in glass. Suddenly, blood begins to flow out of the shards that dug deep into my skin. Instincts kick in now as I grab my hand with my non-injured hand and scream like a little baby as I look at the war zone that covers my right hand.
Kurt Newman: “MOMMY!”
~Three Hours Later
~The scene begins as Ashley sits outside a room in a local hospital reading a magazine without a sign of concern on her face. Myself on the other hand is in the room behind Ashley screaming, cussing, and crying like a little baby while a doctor is pulling out glass shards from my hand.
~Four Hours Later
~The scene begins again outside the room that I was screaming like a little baby in. My hand is wrapped up in gauze and bandages, my eyes are red from my crying so much from the pain of the removal of the glass and stitches that followed, and because I was such a good boy, I’m sucking on a cherry Lolly-Pop that the doctor gave me. Ashley, still reading her magazine, doesn’t pay any attention to me as the two of us are quite. After about a minute of this, I look over to Ashley and offer her a lick of the Lolly-Pop.
Kurt Newman: “You want a lick? It’s good.”
Ashley: “Not really Kurt.”
Kurt Newman: “It’s cherry though.”
~She puts the magazine down and looks over at me with a concern look on her face.
Ashley: “I want to know why the hell I got called at 4 in the morning to you crying about glass shards in your hand. I’ve known you for a very long time Kurt and this is a first from you. I didn’t question you when you got your hand stuck up that donkeys butt or when your head got stuck in the toilet or even when I found you naked in that corn field in Iowa. This though. This incident right here. I have to ask Kurt, what the hell happen?”
Kurt Newman: “I saw a spider. You know how I hate spiders. Stupid bugs with their eight legs and ass load of eyes.”
Ashley: “Not buying it.”
~Damn.
Kurt Newman: “I looked in the mirror and said redrum three times and I saw Chariot Top in the mirror. Scared the living hell out of me.”
Ashley: “Not even close.”
~Damnit!
Kurt Newman: “I literally wanted to kick my own ass?”
Ashley: “Kurt! If you can’t trust me after all the years that we’ve worked together, then why should I even work with you anymore?”
~I don’t say anything for a while as I look at Ashley in the eyes as she waits for a response. I take a deep sigh as I look around the hallway to see if anyone is around. I lift my hand and comb my hair with my hand as I figure out what I should tell her. She’s right. She’s never let me down before and she’s stood by my side through worse moments. I look at the ground as I pour my heart to Ashley.
Kurt Newman: “I’ll tell you Ashley, but you got to promise me not to tell anyone about this. Mostly because I don’t want the board members or the investors for Newman Industries to know about it. Also, I don’t want MPW management to know about it. If anyone really new about this, it might ruin my reputation and career.”
~The aggressive look on Ashley’s face soon turns to concern as she addresses me.
Ashley: “Yeah Kurt. I promise.”
~I pause again as I think to either tell her the truth or make up another lie. I need to get this load off my back. I need to change, because I can’t go down this path any more.
Kurt Newman: “This is tough for me to say, mostly because I’ve never told anyone about this. (Deep breathe) I have a depression problem that I’ve been dealing with since I was young. It’s never been to the point where I wanted to off myself. Suicide to me is a cowards way out of life. As of late though, mostly since Bliss hit me over the head with that blunt object, it’s been getting worse. About a month ago I locked myself in my room and just looked at a razor blade for hours to see if I wanted to play Tick Tack Toe on my arm or not. Two weeks ago, I wanted to see how deep I could put the barrow of a 9mm down my throat. Three days ago, I was standing on top of a 5 story building, looking down the street below and imagined how many summersaults I could do before I hit the concrete. This is just when I’m by myself though. When I’m around people though, I’m Kurt Newman that you see at wrestling shows. The always smiling, lovable, and goofy guy that everyone knows and loves. When I’m by myself though, I look at that guy and I hate him. I hate myself and everything about me. This is why I never like to be alone. This is why you never see me drinking alone at a bar. This is why I hit on women so much and want them to go back to my place. This is why I have you and Wigs around all the time. Because if I’m by myself, that gives me time to look at myself. It gives me time to evaluate myself. It gives me time to know myself just a little bit better.”
~I look over at Ashley with a slight smile on my face for some reason as I continue to address her.
Kurt Newman: “I look at myself Ashley…….and I hate everything about me. I hate that I’m such a sleaze bag. I hate that I have to be the center of attention of everything. I hate that I have to be loved by everyone. I hate myself and I can’t’ stand being around myself. I keep on living this life though, this life that I hate so much, because I would let so many people down and I can’t do that. So I wear that mask with the smile on it. I push play on that tape recorder to fool everyone that I’m a happy individual. I play it cool to show everyone that nothing bothers me. I’m a role model for so many people…….yet I hate myself and what I’ve become.”
~Ashley, with a shocked look on her face, is speechless as I look back down on the ground.
Kurt Newman: “What I’m going to tell everyone is that I punched a big ass spider that was on the mirror. The truth of the matter is, I looked at myself in the mirror, hated what I saw, and punched my reflection in the face.”
~I feel Ashley’s hand on my back as she slowly rubs my shoulder.
Ashley: “What do you want to do now?”
~I had been thinking about that question now for a few hours. I thought I could defeat this problem by myself but I couldn’t. Only one option left.
Kurt Newman: “Give me an appointment with one of the best therapist in town for next week. If anyone ask why I’m seeing a therapist, tell them I got a problem of wetting the bed or I’ve been having dreams about a giant crab chasing after me for a month now. People would believe that right?”
Ashley: “Sure Kurt. I’ll get right on that for you.”
~Ashley quickly gets on her phone and is about to work on it, but I grab her attention as I speak to her.
Kurt Newman: “I’m sorry Ashley.”
Ashley: “About what?”
Kurt Newman: “For not telling you sooner.”
~Ashley smiles as she looks over at me.
Ashley: “It’s fine Kurt. It’s something that not to many people like to talk ab……..”
~A smell catches Ashley’s attention as she stops in midsentence. She sniffs and sniffs and sniffs some more until she covers her noise and looks at me with a “I can’t believe you did that” face.
Ashley: “I can’t believe you farted Kurt!”
Kurt Newman: “That’s what I was talking about when I said I’m sorry.”
~I can’t help but laugh as Ashley has a hard time breathing from the smell.
Ashley: “Oh my God Kurt, what the hell did you eat? It smells like there’s a dead hamster up your butt.”
Kurt Newman: “Oh man, I forgot all about Mr. Cheeks. You think this place would be able to get him out?”
~The two of us let out a much-needed laugh as the scene fades to black.
Day Of Monday Night Main Event
The scene begins again as Frank Sinatra’s, The Summer Wind, begins to play in my locker room. It’s been a tradition of mine for years to have him playing before a match. His music calms me down and I don’t have to think about the outside world. I sit down in a chair, in my underwear, and look down at my wrestling gear laid out in front of me. I think I’ve stared at my wrestling gear now for 15 minutes……..maybe it’s more. Lost track of time, trying to get in the mind set for the match and all. It’s time to play dress up now as my match is only a few hours away. I lean over, grab my wrestling shorts and begin to put them on. While doing so, I begin my promo.
Kurt Newman: “I’d like to start off this promo by congratulating Paul Ryan as being picked the Vice President pick for Mitt Romney. Now we’ll hopefully have a conversation in America on what to do with Social Security, Medicare, tax reform, and Health Care, instead of kicking it down the road like the Obama Ministration has been doing for years now. I wish Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan the best in the up and coming election, because we need someone who knows what they’re doing in the presidency.”
I get done with my shorts and adjust myself before sitting back down and putting my boots on.
Kurt Newman: “Ok, so I got Fisherman and Enigma tonight in a three way match with Rage as a special guest referee and Bloodhoud as a special enforcer. This isn’t going to be a pretty match because I have no idea what Rage or Bloodhound will do. I hope they play fare. I really, really, really, reaaaaaalllly hope they do. Something tells me that one of them….or both won’t though. I hope I’m wrong. Like I said before, they probably won’t play fair though. So I’ll be having eyes in the back of my head as I dominate this match.”
I get my left wrestling boot laced up and move over to my right boot.
Kurt Newman: “John, I’m sorry if I scared off Ms. Biguns again. I don’t know what happens to me every time I see her. My sex drive just goes wild and all I want to do is hump something whenever I see that lovely face of hers. If Ms. Biguns was a bowling alley, I’d roll my balls up and down her daily. Why she’s sticking around like a loser like you is beyond me. I mean I’ve been in wrestling for a while. I can tell the greats or the rising stars when I see them, and you my friend are not one of the greats and you’re not a rising star. You just don’t have that ‘It’ factor. Only reason why anyone knows your name is because your being managed by Tits McGee. It’s laughable that you call yourself King Of The World when you haven’t done shit anywhere. I mean if you were that great, you would of won against me in our first encounter and you would be the MPW TV Title holder. You’re not though. So take that nick name that you gave to yourself, get some more training over at the Step It Up Roster, and talk to me when you shave that pubic hair off your chin. Try as you might to defeat me John, but you’re just not up to my level.”
Both boots are on now as I lean over, reach my hand into my duffel bag, and pull out a roll of white tape. I begin to wrap my wrist with the tape as I continue my promo.
Kurt Newman: “As for you Enigma. Wrestling is a joke. It’s entertainment for individuals. It’s a chance for people to enjoy life. I mean their watching a match where two or more guys are fighting each other, half naked, wearing ridicules outfits with personalities that range from: I want to destroy everyone that I come across, to I’m so roid up that I don’t have any balls. I mean look at our match Enigma. We got a Fisherman, we got yourself who looks like he just got done at a Halloween party, we got a guy named Rage who really doesn’t have a rage problem, a dog, and myself. I mean that’s a bar joke right there. A fisherman, a boogieman, a guy full of rage, a dog, and Kurt Newman walk into a bar. I may act like a goof ball at times, but I’m just fitting in with all the other goofy characters here in MPW. Lighten up a little bit though bud. Life ain’t that shitty. If it is, then life will get better. How low can an individual absolutely go until they finally hit rock bottom? So smile Enigma……well I’m not sure if you can with that device on your face…….still, think positive and life gets a little bit brighter. This week though and next week. Kurt Newman will be stealing the show and winning both matches because he’s just that good, and everyone else just isn’t even close. Good luck though Enigma, because yourself and John are going to need it.”
I get done wrapping my wrist. I take the roll of tape and toss it back into the duffel bag. I slowly stand up, grab the Awesome Title from a nearby table and button it around my waste. I throw up a peace sign before walking off the set.
End Scene.
~The scene begins as I wake up in the middle of the night. I was right in the middle of a dream where myself, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T were playing baseball on the moon against these aliens. If we lost, Earth would be destroyed. If we won though, we would rule over their home planet. I had just hit a home run to win the game. I was rounding the bases and heading home where Eva Mendes was naked and begging me to take her. Just when I was about to kiss her, I wake up from an over loaded bladder. I look up at the blank ceiling above me and I can’t help but cuss underneath my breathe Story of my life.
~I slowly get out of bed in my apartment in Chicago and make my way to the other side of the room to the bathroom. Wiggle lifts his head from his bed to see what the noise is. He goes back to bed though when he notices it’s me. I’m blinded for a few seconds when I turn the lights on and try to make my way over to the toilet. Knowing I’m somewhere near the toilet seat, I whip out Kurt Jr. and begin to drain the lizard. My aim wasn’t as close to the toilet as I thought it would be when I don’t hear my piss hitting the water in the toilet. So I adjust myself until the sound is just right of piss hitting water. Relief fills my face as the pressure on my bladder begins to lighten.
~A minute, or what seems like a minute, passes until the last drop exits my body. I shake Kurt Jr. twice, (because if you shake it more than twice, your just playing with yourself) and tuck him back into my boxers. I slowly shuffle my feet back to my bedroom to get some well needed rest………I stop though as I’m at the door, and slowly look at the one person that I hate the most in this world. The one person that I can’t stand more than anyone else in this world. The one person that I wish I never knew……..myself.
Kurt Newman: “What the hell you looking at.”
~To you, I’m just talking to myself in the mirror. To me though, I’m talking to a completely different person at the other side of the mirror; with his own thoughts, his own views, and his own life. What people don’t know about me, and what I keep secret from everyone…..is that I’m not Kurt Newman. I’m not the Kurt Newman that everyone loves to be around and watch to wrestle. That person is just a character, a mask that I wear over my face to fool everyone to who I truly am. I’m Kurt Newman, a man that’s had a problem with depression since his Dad left him at the age of 3 to start up another family and where his mother told him at the age of 7 that he was born only for a welfare check. I’m the sad clown in the circus known as life.
~The reflection of myself just smiles as I stare at him with a smug look on my face.
Kurt Newman: “You got nothing to judge me on.”
Refection of Kurt Newman: “Sure I do. I got plenty to judge you on. You’re starting to break at the seams buddy. Bliss is in your head too much and she knows this. So she’s going to slowly pull on that lone string of sanity that you have hanging around. She’s going to pull on that string until you’re nothing more than unusable cloth and stuffing.”
Kurt Newman: “Bliss wouldn’t do that to me. She’s not that type of person.”
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “You really think so? You were like a Raggedy Ann Doll that she loved to hold and play with on a daily basis. You got broken though, and she forgot all about you when she stuck you underneath the bed. By the time that she found you, she got older and her views changed in life. Besides, by the time that you came back into her life, she found herself a new toy.”
Kurt Newman: “Shut up!”
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “It’s funny though. You, in this situation right now…….how many ladies have you treated the same way as Bliss has done to you? A few? Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? How do you think they felt when you promised them the world, and come next day, you were gone from their bed. Do you even remember the faces of all the women that you have had sex with? How about the kids that you might of given birth to? You’re acting just like your Dad. Starting up franchises all over the world and then leaving.”
~I bite my lip as the anger on my face is showing now as I continue to listen to my reflection.
Reflection of Kurt Newman: “You smile though, have a good time, have a few laughs, wrestle a few matches, and see the money that comes into your banking account from Newman Industries. You don’t care about the life’s that you’ve affected with your actions. You see life as a joke. So that’s how you treat it. One giant joke.”
~I should just turn the lights off to the bathroom, it’ll shut him up. I don’t though. I want to hear what he says. I want to see how I see myself. I want to see the self-portrait that I paint of myself.
Kurt Newman: “I’ve done a lot of good though for a lot of people.
Kurt Newman: “And why do you do that then? Because your just an awesome individual, or to make up for all the life’s that you’ve ruin. Lie to yourself all you want. You know it’s the truth. You’ve known it though for years. That you’re just a mistake, and no one ever wanted you and will never want to be with you because you are pathetic.”
~All I want to do is hit my reflection. Just shut him up and have him stop talking. My voice though in response to my refection is soft and quite.
Kurt Newman: “I’m working on changing my life. I’ve done a lot of stupid things but I am who I am.”
~The reflection of myself chuckles and gives me a huge smile as he address me.
Kurt Newman: “Whatever helps you sleep at night. You love the spotlight to much though, so much that you’re blinded by the light and you can’t see that you’re just like Blaze. You’re not going to change, you’ve been trying to change for the past 30 years of your life. So why change now? Because you’ve hit that age where you finally see how fucked up your life is? Because Bliss made you open your eyes? Or because you finally see who you truly are. A pathetic loser.”
~I can’t stand the self-torment anymore as I lift my fist up and smash the mirror into itty bitty pieces. I leave my fist against the broken mirror and let my reflections words go round and round and round my head. Haunting me and consuming me.
~Breathe In. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
~I snap out of my trance of being ticked off as I look down at my hand to see my fist covered in glass. Suddenly, blood begins to flow out of the shards that dug deep into my skin. Instincts kick in now as I grab my hand with my non-injured hand and scream like a little baby as I look at the war zone that covers my right hand.
Kurt Newman: “MOMMY!”
~Three Hours Later
~The scene begins as Ashley sits outside a room in a local hospital reading a magazine without a sign of concern on her face. Myself on the other hand is in the room behind Ashley screaming, cussing, and crying like a little baby while a doctor is pulling out glass shards from my hand.
~Four Hours Later
~The scene begins again outside the room that I was screaming like a little baby in. My hand is wrapped up in gauze and bandages, my eyes are red from my crying so much from the pain of the removal of the glass and stitches that followed, and because I was such a good boy, I’m sucking on a cherry Lolly-Pop that the doctor gave me. Ashley, still reading her magazine, doesn’t pay any attention to me as the two of us are quite. After about a minute of this, I look over to Ashley and offer her a lick of the Lolly-Pop.
Kurt Newman: “You want a lick? It’s good.”
Ashley: “Not really Kurt.”
Kurt Newman: “It’s cherry though.”
~She puts the magazine down and looks over at me with a concern look on her face.
Ashley: “I want to know why the hell I got called at 4 in the morning to you crying about glass shards in your hand. I’ve known you for a very long time Kurt and this is a first from you. I didn’t question you when you got your hand stuck up that donkeys butt or when your head got stuck in the toilet or even when I found you naked in that corn field in Iowa. This though. This incident right here. I have to ask Kurt, what the hell happen?”
Kurt Newman: “I saw a spider. You know how I hate spiders. Stupid bugs with their eight legs and ass load of eyes.”
Ashley: “Not buying it.”
~Damn.
Kurt Newman: “I looked in the mirror and said redrum three times and I saw Chariot Top in the mirror. Scared the living hell out of me.”
Ashley: “Not even close.”
~Damnit!
Kurt Newman: “I literally wanted to kick my own ass?”
Ashley: “Kurt! If you can’t trust me after all the years that we’ve worked together, then why should I even work with you anymore?”
~I don’t say anything for a while as I look at Ashley in the eyes as she waits for a response. I take a deep sigh as I look around the hallway to see if anyone is around. I lift my hand and comb my hair with my hand as I figure out what I should tell her. She’s right. She’s never let me down before and she’s stood by my side through worse moments. I look at the ground as I pour my heart to Ashley.
Kurt Newman: “I’ll tell you Ashley, but you got to promise me not to tell anyone about this. Mostly because I don’t want the board members or the investors for Newman Industries to know about it. Also, I don’t want MPW management to know about it. If anyone really new about this, it might ruin my reputation and career.”
~The aggressive look on Ashley’s face soon turns to concern as she addresses me.
Ashley: “Yeah Kurt. I promise.”
~I pause again as I think to either tell her the truth or make up another lie. I need to get this load off my back. I need to change, because I can’t go down this path any more.
Kurt Newman: “This is tough for me to say, mostly because I’ve never told anyone about this. (Deep breathe) I have a depression problem that I’ve been dealing with since I was young. It’s never been to the point where I wanted to off myself. Suicide to me is a cowards way out of life. As of late though, mostly since Bliss hit me over the head with that blunt object, it’s been getting worse. About a month ago I locked myself in my room and just looked at a razor blade for hours to see if I wanted to play Tick Tack Toe on my arm or not. Two weeks ago, I wanted to see how deep I could put the barrow of a 9mm down my throat. Three days ago, I was standing on top of a 5 story building, looking down the street below and imagined how many summersaults I could do before I hit the concrete. This is just when I’m by myself though. When I’m around people though, I’m Kurt Newman that you see at wrestling shows. The always smiling, lovable, and goofy guy that everyone knows and loves. When I’m by myself though, I look at that guy and I hate him. I hate myself and everything about me. This is why I never like to be alone. This is why you never see me drinking alone at a bar. This is why I hit on women so much and want them to go back to my place. This is why I have you and Wigs around all the time. Because if I’m by myself, that gives me time to look at myself. It gives me time to evaluate myself. It gives me time to know myself just a little bit better.”
~I look over at Ashley with a slight smile on my face for some reason as I continue to address her.
Kurt Newman: “I look at myself Ashley…….and I hate everything about me. I hate that I’m such a sleaze bag. I hate that I have to be the center of attention of everything. I hate that I have to be loved by everyone. I hate myself and I can’t’ stand being around myself. I keep on living this life though, this life that I hate so much, because I would let so many people down and I can’t do that. So I wear that mask with the smile on it. I push play on that tape recorder to fool everyone that I’m a happy individual. I play it cool to show everyone that nothing bothers me. I’m a role model for so many people…….yet I hate myself and what I’ve become.”
~Ashley, with a shocked look on her face, is speechless as I look back down on the ground.
Kurt Newman: “What I’m going to tell everyone is that I punched a big ass spider that was on the mirror. The truth of the matter is, I looked at myself in the mirror, hated what I saw, and punched my reflection in the face.”
~I feel Ashley’s hand on my back as she slowly rubs my shoulder.
Ashley: “What do you want to do now?”
~I had been thinking about that question now for a few hours. I thought I could defeat this problem by myself but I couldn’t. Only one option left.
Kurt Newman: “Give me an appointment with one of the best therapist in town for next week. If anyone ask why I’m seeing a therapist, tell them I got a problem of wetting the bed or I’ve been having dreams about a giant crab chasing after me for a month now. People would believe that right?”
Ashley: “Sure Kurt. I’ll get right on that for you.”
~Ashley quickly gets on her phone and is about to work on it, but I grab her attention as I speak to her.
Kurt Newman: “I’m sorry Ashley.”
Ashley: “About what?”
Kurt Newman: “For not telling you sooner.”
~Ashley smiles as she looks over at me.
Ashley: “It’s fine Kurt. It’s something that not to many people like to talk ab……..”
~A smell catches Ashley’s attention as she stops in midsentence. She sniffs and sniffs and sniffs some more until she covers her noise and looks at me with a “I can’t believe you did that” face.
Ashley: “I can’t believe you farted Kurt!”
Kurt Newman: “That’s what I was talking about when I said I’m sorry.”
~I can’t help but laugh as Ashley has a hard time breathing from the smell.
Ashley: “Oh my God Kurt, what the hell did you eat? It smells like there’s a dead hamster up your butt.”
Kurt Newman: “Oh man, I forgot all about Mr. Cheeks. You think this place would be able to get him out?”
~The two of us let out a much-needed laugh as the scene fades to black.
Day Of Monday Night Main Event
The scene begins again as Frank Sinatra’s, The Summer Wind, begins to play in my locker room. It’s been a tradition of mine for years to have him playing before a match. His music calms me down and I don’t have to think about the outside world. I sit down in a chair, in my underwear, and look down at my wrestling gear laid out in front of me. I think I’ve stared at my wrestling gear now for 15 minutes……..maybe it’s more. Lost track of time, trying to get in the mind set for the match and all. It’s time to play dress up now as my match is only a few hours away. I lean over, grab my wrestling shorts and begin to put them on. While doing so, I begin my promo.
Kurt Newman: “I’d like to start off this promo by congratulating Paul Ryan as being picked the Vice President pick for Mitt Romney. Now we’ll hopefully have a conversation in America on what to do with Social Security, Medicare, tax reform, and Health Care, instead of kicking it down the road like the Obama Ministration has been doing for years now. I wish Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan the best in the up and coming election, because we need someone who knows what they’re doing in the presidency.”
I get done with my shorts and adjust myself before sitting back down and putting my boots on.
Kurt Newman: “Ok, so I got Fisherman and Enigma tonight in a three way match with Rage as a special guest referee and Bloodhoud as a special enforcer. This isn’t going to be a pretty match because I have no idea what Rage or Bloodhound will do. I hope they play fare. I really, really, really, reaaaaaalllly hope they do. Something tells me that one of them….or both won’t though. I hope I’m wrong. Like I said before, they probably won’t play fair though. So I’ll be having eyes in the back of my head as I dominate this match.”
I get my left wrestling boot laced up and move over to my right boot.
Kurt Newman: “John, I’m sorry if I scared off Ms. Biguns again. I don’t know what happens to me every time I see her. My sex drive just goes wild and all I want to do is hump something whenever I see that lovely face of hers. If Ms. Biguns was a bowling alley, I’d roll my balls up and down her daily. Why she’s sticking around like a loser like you is beyond me. I mean I’ve been in wrestling for a while. I can tell the greats or the rising stars when I see them, and you my friend are not one of the greats and you’re not a rising star. You just don’t have that ‘It’ factor. Only reason why anyone knows your name is because your being managed by Tits McGee. It’s laughable that you call yourself King Of The World when you haven’t done shit anywhere. I mean if you were that great, you would of won against me in our first encounter and you would be the MPW TV Title holder. You’re not though. So take that nick name that you gave to yourself, get some more training over at the Step It Up Roster, and talk to me when you shave that pubic hair off your chin. Try as you might to defeat me John, but you’re just not up to my level.”
Both boots are on now as I lean over, reach my hand into my duffel bag, and pull out a roll of white tape. I begin to wrap my wrist with the tape as I continue my promo.
Kurt Newman: “As for you Enigma. Wrestling is a joke. It’s entertainment for individuals. It’s a chance for people to enjoy life. I mean their watching a match where two or more guys are fighting each other, half naked, wearing ridicules outfits with personalities that range from: I want to destroy everyone that I come across, to I’m so roid up that I don’t have any balls. I mean look at our match Enigma. We got a Fisherman, we got yourself who looks like he just got done at a Halloween party, we got a guy named Rage who really doesn’t have a rage problem, a dog, and myself. I mean that’s a bar joke right there. A fisherman, a boogieman, a guy full of rage, a dog, and Kurt Newman walk into a bar. I may act like a goof ball at times, but I’m just fitting in with all the other goofy characters here in MPW. Lighten up a little bit though bud. Life ain’t that shitty. If it is, then life will get better. How low can an individual absolutely go until they finally hit rock bottom? So smile Enigma……well I’m not sure if you can with that device on your face…….still, think positive and life gets a little bit brighter. This week though and next week. Kurt Newman will be stealing the show and winning both matches because he’s just that good, and everyone else just isn’t even close. Good luck though Enigma, because yourself and John are going to need it.”
I get done wrapping my wrist. I take the roll of tape and toss it back into the duffel bag. I slowly stand up, grab the Awesome Title from a nearby table and button it around my waste. I throw up a peace sign before walking off the set.
End Scene.
