Post by To Be Announced on Sept 2, 2012 15:07:30 GMT -5
Wait a minute...
I won? I won a match! I won my first match!! Unbelievable! I mean me...me! And even better, I managed to score with one of the hottest babes in the company! Did you see it? I shagged her to submission! My god, I didn't know I had it in me! I'm quite a lady killer, aren't I? Ms. Biguns has no idea what she's missing! And to top off the night, that lanky prick got a beating that he truly deserved! When Primal smacked him with the Primal Roar, I have to admit, that brought a smile to my face...not as big as when I kissed Siren...and not as big when I realized that I won my first match...but it was still a delight.
After a night like that, quite frankly, I think I deserve a drink. Normally I'm not the kind of guy who goes out for the night in Las Vegas, but this is a special occasion...although walking into this random bar...and looking at the muscle-bound freaks and glamored-up bimbos around here...I think it'd be better if I kept a low profile.
Hey, what's this?
Random Fan: Hello...umm...are you Chicken? From Step Up?
A girl? An underage girl at that...must have a fake ID or something...
Chicken: Uhh...yeah that's right, I am.
No, she can't be a fan, can she?
Random Fan: Like, oh my god, I am a huge fan. I watched you in action last night. You were awesome!
I don't believe it. I have a fan!! Me!!
Chicken: ...why...thank you.
Random Fan: Hey...umm...what you did to Siren...could you maybe...try that out on me?
What? Are you serious? I'm like over ten years older than you...
Chicken: Sure!
What? Am I serious? Oh boy, I'm doing it. I'm actually snogging a teenager at a bar...and she's loving it! Uh oh, who's that glaring at me? He's huge! What is he...oh no...trust me to try and get it on with a massive biker's girlfriend! Fuck this, I'm off! Oh crap, he's following me. Better pick up the pace...Taxi!!
Oh well, celebration cut short...might as well call it a night. Can't wait for those builders to be finished with my bloody flat, a waste of time they've been! Oh, and what a surprise. What's the first thing that happens as soon as I get back home? I get a bloody phone call from that bloody Sweeney!
Sweeney: Hey dude! Congrats on your first win man! And well done for scoring with that fit bird, I've always had a thing for Siren...
Chicken: Thanks man, it felt good...I still can't get over it though. I mean I won my first match!
Sweeney: Yeah but I still think you oughta be careful. It took balls to stand up to Brandon Nytrus, and even more to actually come out and laugh at him after he lost that match.
Yeah...that was funny.
Sweeney: You may have won your match last night, but don't forget, you were facing a woman.
Yeah? You didn't have to step in the ring with her! That girl can seriously smack the taste right out of your mouth. I've still got a slight headache after she hit me with that DDT!
Sweeney: But next week, you're not facing a woman. You're facing the Hardcore Icon. You ain't going to defeat him with a mere kiss!
Him again...
Chicken: Look dude, we've already been through this. I took him to the limit. I took him to his limit in his own backyard! The guy is a chump. People think that I'll never make it in the business? He couldn't even beat me in his own game! How is he going to hold his own in the big leagues?
Sweeney: I know, but seriously, you've already wound up in the hospital because of him. I just don't want you ending up in a morgue the next time.
Chicken: I appreciate your concern man, but you've got to understand. When he runs his mouth, I listen, but when I talk about him, he assaults me in my own home. The guy can't take criticism, and if you can't take criticism, then you don't belong in the business. Between the two of us, I'm the bigger man. I may not look it, but next week, I'm going to prove it to everyone. This isn't going to be about any lawsuit anymore, I don't care about that. All I care about now is putting that jackass in his place!
Damn, wish I could have recorded that...
Sweeney: Well alright, but just be careful will ya? I want you to fulfill your dream as much as the next guy, but I don't want you to go on and make the wrong decisions...
Time to change the subject, this guy is starting to sound too cheesy...
Chicken: But hey, I just beat a former member of the Goddess Factor! I did something that John Fisherman could not! Do you think Ms. Biguns noticed me now?
To be honest, I taped the match between Fisherman and Bliss...and I watched it over and over again...it was so beautiful watching that selfish twat lose to a chick!
Sweeney: What? You still talking about Fisherman?
Chicken: Why?
Sweeney: Dude! Haven't you checked out the MPW news? Have you checked Twitter?
For the last time, I don't have Twitter. I don't want to resort to that garbage!
Chicken: No why?
Sweeney: They're not together anymore. They just split up!
Chicken: ...What?
Sweeney: And this Monday, Ms. Biguns is beginning a search for a replacement. She's looking for a new client!
...
...
...
Sweeney: ...Chicken? Are you still there? Huh...I wonder where he went...
I won? I won a match! I won my first match!! Unbelievable! I mean me...me! And even better, I managed to score with one of the hottest babes in the company! Did you see it? I shagged her to submission! My god, I didn't know I had it in me! I'm quite a lady killer, aren't I? Ms. Biguns has no idea what she's missing! And to top off the night, that lanky prick got a beating that he truly deserved! When Primal smacked him with the Primal Roar, I have to admit, that brought a smile to my face...not as big as when I kissed Siren...and not as big when I realized that I won my first match...but it was still a delight.
After a night like that, quite frankly, I think I deserve a drink. Normally I'm not the kind of guy who goes out for the night in Las Vegas, but this is a special occasion...although walking into this random bar...and looking at the muscle-bound freaks and glamored-up bimbos around here...I think it'd be better if I kept a low profile.
Hey, what's this?
Random Fan: Hello...umm...are you Chicken? From Step Up?
A girl? An underage girl at that...must have a fake ID or something...
Chicken: Uhh...yeah that's right, I am.
No, she can't be a fan, can she?
Random Fan: Like, oh my god, I am a huge fan. I watched you in action last night. You were awesome!
I don't believe it. I have a fan!! Me!!
Chicken: ...why...thank you.
Random Fan: Hey...umm...what you did to Siren...could you maybe...try that out on me?
What? Are you serious? I'm like over ten years older than you...
Chicken: Sure!
What? Am I serious? Oh boy, I'm doing it. I'm actually snogging a teenager at a bar...and she's loving it! Uh oh, who's that glaring at me? He's huge! What is he...oh no...trust me to try and get it on with a massive biker's girlfriend! Fuck this, I'm off! Oh crap, he's following me. Better pick up the pace...Taxi!!
Oh well, celebration cut short...might as well call it a night. Can't wait for those builders to be finished with my bloody flat, a waste of time they've been! Oh, and what a surprise. What's the first thing that happens as soon as I get back home? I get a bloody phone call from that bloody Sweeney!
Sweeney: Hey dude! Congrats on your first win man! And well done for scoring with that fit bird, I've always had a thing for Siren...
Chicken: Thanks man, it felt good...I still can't get over it though. I mean I won my first match!
Sweeney: Yeah but I still think you oughta be careful. It took balls to stand up to Brandon Nytrus, and even more to actually come out and laugh at him after he lost that match.
Yeah...that was funny.
Sweeney: You may have won your match last night, but don't forget, you were facing a woman.
Yeah? You didn't have to step in the ring with her! That girl can seriously smack the taste right out of your mouth. I've still got a slight headache after she hit me with that DDT!
Sweeney: But next week, you're not facing a woman. You're facing the Hardcore Icon. You ain't going to defeat him with a mere kiss!
Him again...
Chicken: Look dude, we've already been through this. I took him to the limit. I took him to his limit in his own backyard! The guy is a chump. People think that I'll never make it in the business? He couldn't even beat me in his own game! How is he going to hold his own in the big leagues?
Sweeney: I know, but seriously, you've already wound up in the hospital because of him. I just don't want you ending up in a morgue the next time.
Chicken: I appreciate your concern man, but you've got to understand. When he runs his mouth, I listen, but when I talk about him, he assaults me in my own home. The guy can't take criticism, and if you can't take criticism, then you don't belong in the business. Between the two of us, I'm the bigger man. I may not look it, but next week, I'm going to prove it to everyone. This isn't going to be about any lawsuit anymore, I don't care about that. All I care about now is putting that jackass in his place!
Damn, wish I could have recorded that...
Sweeney: Well alright, but just be careful will ya? I want you to fulfill your dream as much as the next guy, but I don't want you to go on and make the wrong decisions...
Time to change the subject, this guy is starting to sound too cheesy...
Chicken: But hey, I just beat a former member of the Goddess Factor! I did something that John Fisherman could not! Do you think Ms. Biguns noticed me now?
To be honest, I taped the match between Fisherman and Bliss...and I watched it over and over again...it was so beautiful watching that selfish twat lose to a chick!
Sweeney: What? You still talking about Fisherman?
Chicken: Why?
Sweeney: Dude! Haven't you checked out the MPW news? Have you checked Twitter?
For the last time, I don't have Twitter. I don't want to resort to that garbage!
Chicken: No why?
Sweeney: They're not together anymore. They just split up!
Chicken: ...What?
Sweeney: And this Monday, Ms. Biguns is beginning a search for a replacement. She's looking for a new client!
...
...
...
Sweeney: ...Chicken? Are you still there? Huh...I wonder where he went...