Post by Jake Cage on Sept 6, 2012 2:32:34 GMT -5
[Suddenly, Even Flow by Pearl Jam hits and Jake Cage comes running out to the ring.]
Killconey: But what is this? here comes another new addition to Step Up roster The Real F'n Deal Jake Cage!
[Jake Cage slides into the ring and drops in front of the charging Jamal, grabbing the rope and letting the rookie send himself to the outside, he goes straight for Taufik. But Taufik lets go of Andrews and retreats to the outside, he grabs Jamal and the two head quickly up the Entrance ramp. Jake Cage helps Ian Andrews to his feet and raises his hand in victory, Andrews snaps his hand down and shakes his head angrily. Cage walks up beside him and asks him something, to which Andrews responds by grabbing him and delivers an Andrews Effect! Andrews stares down at Jake a bit, before shaking his head and climbing out of the ring. He heads back up the walkway leaving Jake Cage out in the ring.]
Dennis: What was that about?
Killconey: I’m not sure, but it seems any respect this crowd had for Ian Andrews has been lost with that display of ingratitude. Anyway, we’d like to again thank you for joining us here on MPW Step Up! Don’t go away, because up next we’re going to see a four way elimination match between some of the newest talent on the Step Up! roster!
“Did I really deserve that? I come in and help Andrews against The Curry Committee and I get hit with whatever the hell that was. Jeez…its times like this I am glad they invented………………KARAOKE!!!”
I grab my phone.....
“Of course he isn’t answering…..probably at a love in talking about how good he feels eating day old donuts and drinking crappy coff….oh the beep.”
Jake Cage: Chris-co! It’s the Cager here….just wondering if you wanted to go hang at the Karaoke bar…..and by bar I mean alcohol…..and by alcohol I mean you can have a sprite. Well call me…maybe?
“Man I just had to end with that stupid song reference….come on Cage you’re better than that! Invite to Karaoke and I end with a song reference? Man actually I am FN wicked! Hey this is crazy…..it’s catchy! Ooohhh gotta call a cab then make Christian pick me up when I’m done.”
Taxi Dispatcher: Yes where are we picking you up? And where is your destination?
Jake Cage: I’m doing fine thank you
Taxi Dispatcher: Sir?
Jake Cage: Guys could you quiet down I’m calling a cab.
Taxi Dispatcher: I….don’t get….I don’t hear anyone else in the background.
Jake Cage: I’m sorry give me a second ma’am I can’t hear……this party I am at is off the hook and it is pretty loud.
Taxi Dispatcher: Loud….i didn’t hear…..hello? Sir? Did you just turn up the music? Wait! Is that?
Jake Cage: *sings* So here’s my number…..so call me maybe? Oh sorry….things get a bit CR-A-ZAY at my parties. Yes I’m looking to take this party to the finest Karaoke bar in town.
Taxi Dispatcher: Oh you must want to go to Pistol Pete’s?
Jake Cage: Do I want to eat?
Taxi Dispatcher: No….Pistol Pete’s it’s on Lexington drive.
Jake Cage: What’s in the sky? Umm…well right now I can see the big dipper and oh hey! Its Orion’s belt man these stars are amaz………
Taxi Dispatcher: NO I SAID PISTOL PETE’S
Jake Cage: Oh yeah….Pistol Pete’s you should’ve just said so…….almost got awkward there didn’t it?
Taxi Dispatcher: Sir it was awkward minutes ago.
Jake Cage: I know so why didn’t you just say Pistol Pete’s when you heard me singing?
Taxi Dispatcher: How was I supposed to know……no you know what sir I will dispatch a driver to come pick you up right away and take you to Pistol Pete’s….have a pleasant even…..
Jake Cage: WAIT!
Taxi Dispatcher: What is it?
Jake Cage: Can you send Taxi Dave?
Taxi Dispatcher: Taxi Dave? Who…what…..Who is Taxi Dave?
Jake Cage: You don’t know Taxi Dave?!?! You know….Yeah yeah…uh huh….I’m Taxi Dave in my black and yellow cab? No? It’s safe, it’s mean and it’s super clean? Nothing? Wow! Look there’s this thing called YouTube you should…….hello?
“Man that beeping noise gets more frequent with every phone call I make. Hmm can’t believe she didn’t know who Taxi Dave was. I better phone her back get her email address so I can…..oh cab’s here! Pistol Pete time!”
-------------------------------------------------------------
I get out of the hotel lobby and walk towards the cab and stop dead in my tracks.
“Hmm that cab driver looks sketchy….I don’t know where I’ve seen that face before?”
“hmmmm OH I REMEMBER!”
Jake Cage: OH YEAAAHHHH! I didn’t recognize you without busting through a brick wall!
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: Awesome! Kool-Aid man! Driving a cab no huh? Times been tough I guess? Kool-Aid sales aren’t what they used to be?
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: That’s the spirit…..you know where we are going my friend?
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: Good man! Let’s go!
“Nice fellow this Kool-Aid guy. I really gotta see if he has some free samples. How come every cab I’m in there’s that goldish Kleenex box cover and a crown just stuck to the dash? Wtf is that for? Maybe I’m just jealous because I don’t have a crown ahh how wicked would that be? King Cage! That sounds much better than King Clash or as I like to call him Captain Cranky Pants! Man I’m bored but these beads on this seat are so relaxing….I gotta get me some of these awesome beads…..OH new idea beaded toilet seats…..you’re pooping and massaging at the same time! It’s heaven in toilet seat form. Just think of the mon….whoa! What’s this? The cab driver’s name is Jamal Abdul? That name rings a bell I better tweet my new best friend Christian Carter!”
I take out my phone to tweet….
@twistedchaosmpw You dude in a cab right now guy is named Jamal Abdul why is that familiar? Oh and I left you a message to go out WTH?
Jake Cage: There we do. So….When you are not moonlighting as the Kool-Aid guy you actually go by Jamal Abdul and drive a cab?
Jamal Abdul: Yes No Problem!
“He sure says that a lot……Maybe he is a man of few words….boy would that ever help Rye Payne a lot!”
Jake Cage: Sooooo Jamal……..OH! That’s my phone! Hang on for a second my well versed friend
Jamal Abdul: Yes No Problem!
“Sweet three tweets from Carter!”
@realfndealmpw same name as the guy you're facing this week idiot. Though Jamal the cab driver is a good guy. Used to always make sure I was
“Make sure I was?? Make sure I was what!?!? Come on man this suspense is kil…….*BING* oh here it is…”
@realfndealmpw in the house safely or passed out on lawn before driving away. And I got your call but when you hit me with Call me maybe
“K so he got my message…..Geebus Chris would it kill you to use twitlonger? Man this guy is going to be the dea….*BING* OH YIPPEE A TWEET!”
@realfndealmpw I refused to answer... Besides I'm not allowed to go in bars remember?
“Oh right…..but this isn’t a bar it’s a Karaoke bar! Big difference….I’ll convert him slowly….I’m sure of it. Wait a second now….let me read this again…..THAT’S RIGHT! Jamal Abdul is my opponent this week! How could I forget? But in no way shape or form could it be this Jamal. This Jamal is cool and less Indian then the other one. Plus he doubles as the Kool-Aid guy. Jamal has no clue what awaits him when I step into that ring. Sure I may seem like the happy go-lucky bearded sex machine before I go through those ropes….but once I step into that ring I become someone different….someone you don’t not want to get in the way of…..I become a happy go-lucky bearded sex machine with underwear on! Came you say the same Jamal? I think not! But granted you do come down to the ring with that dude from the Leprechaun movies….At least you know one celebrity.”
Jake Cage: Jamal my man! I can’t believe to tell you how pumped I am for Karaoke night! You’re a big fan of the art aren’t you?
Jamal Abdul: Yes no problem!
Jake Cage: See this is why I like you man! You make badass orange drink and you like karaoke!
“Oh he stopped! Meter says $15.75! The year Johnny Clash was born! Zing!”
Jake Cage: Jamal….if that in fact is your real name Mr. Kool-Aid guy….*wink, wink* Here’s a twenty you can keep the change.
Jamal Abdul: Yes no problem!
“Alright I got my beard groomed and best tuxedo shirt on. I ready to rock this joint! Time for my pump up music!”
I hit play on my iphone……
“Everyday I’m shufflin’…….yeah….this is it….my jam…..my tune…..my song if you will…..this is Pistol Pete’s I’m ready rock this shhhhhhhhh Applebee’s?”
Jake Cage: What in the sweet cinnamon stick of fun is going on here? Why am I at Applebee’s! DAMN IT! STOP THE MUSIC! THIS ISN’T KARAOKE! IT’S APPLEB……Ooohhh Half Price Appetizers…..well what could it hurt?
“Man that Kool Aid guy must know me well. Nothing like some jalapeno poppers to put me in a good mood.”
I walk through the door and get greeted by the host……
Host: Hi my name is Ian and welcome to Applebee’s…..Just you dining this evening?
Jake Cage: No my friend will be joining me soon…….
@twistedchaosmpw damn well hey man.....Jamal dropped me off at Applebee's half price apps up in here. Ian is showing me our table come join!
I follow Ian…..
“Man this guy looks vaguely familiar…..long slicked back blonde hair…..hmmmmmm where have I…..OOHHHH right! Andrews! That no good…….*BING* oh another tweet!”
@realfndealmpw alright I'm in my way can go for some buffalo wings. Try not to spill your drink butter fingers.
“Wicked Chris is coming! I can’t believe….anyways what was I………oh my look at those breasts.”
Jake Cage: Excuse me Miss I couldn’t help but noticed the magnificent breasts you have………
Woman: EXCUSE ME?!?
Jake Cage: I was just complimenting you on your…….
Man: HEY PAL THAT’S MY WIFE!
Jake Cage: Hey look calm down….
“Damn this guy is big…..Good thing I know…..too late…..WOW that’s a tight grip!”
Jake Cage: Hey pal be a lamb and loosen the grip….this is my favourite tuxedo shirt….well I have like fifteen but each one has their own personal meaning you know?
Husband: SHUT UP!
Ian: Is there a problem here sir?
Husband: Yes! This man was gawking at my wife’s breasts he even made a lewd comment towards her!
Ian: Sir that is not amusing at all!
Jake Cage: I wasn’t talking about her breasts….
“But now that they mention it…..wowzer!”
Jake Cage: I was admiring the chicken on her plate….I didn’t mean to offend….
The husband lets go….
Husband: I’m sorry….I was out of line……
Jake Cage: No problem…..so tell me Miss that chicken come with a side a nipple?
Husband: WHAT?!?! YOU SON OF A!!!
I take off and go around a table as the angered husband quickly follows…..
“Wow he’s angry look at that vein…..I swear it’s talking to me…..kinda gross I wonder…..oh oh….more people……ok time for the Cage-esque exit!”
Jake Cage: Sorry people! Love to stay and chat but I have a prior engagement!! Cage Away!
I ran as fast as I can for the exit….I make it past a useless Ian and run through the exit doors.
“Hey it’s Christian’s car…….Shoot he’s getting out….”
Jake Cage: CHRIS!! START THE CAR!!
Christian Carter: What? Why…..Ah man what did you…..
Husband: Look he has a friend!! Get him!!!
Christian Carter: Ah crap all I wanted was buffalo wings!
Jake Cage: Open the door man!
He opens and I get in……
Jake Cage: drive drive DRIVE!
“Man he’s a good driver….he peels away like he’s been chased by the cops before…..he’s almost too good…….hmmmmmm”
Jake Cage: Thanks buddy….say you sure peeled away fast do you have…..
Christian Carter: Shut up Jake……
Jake Cage: Jeez fine……..sorry about the wings……
Christian Carter: It’s cool….
Jake Cage: Hey man if you got some free time we can hit up a White Castle grab a crave case.
Christian Carter: Sounds good to me……you’re buying though….
Jake Cage: What? I’m only on step up! I have no money……
Christian Carter: Not my problem….I should be dining on wings but now I’m driving your dumbass straight to White Castle…..
Jake Cage: Ok fine! Say you want to get a beer aft….
Christian Carter: DUDE!
Jake Cage: Right, right…...jeez you recovering alcoholics sure are sensitive about that stuff aren’t you?
Christian Carter: Do you ever listen to yourself?
Jake Cage: Sometimes…..but most of the time I just sing……speaking of which….mind if I throw on some tunes?
Christian Carter: Go ahead………
Jake Cage: Hmmm Let’s see……
Christian Carter: Aw crap…….
Jake Cage: AWWWWWWWWWW YA! Looks like I’m singing Karaoke after all…….
Christian Carter: sigh……..
Jake Cage: Ja-mal, there's no need to come down.
I said, Ja-mal, just lay in the ring.
I said, Ja-mal, its the easiest thing
There's no need to even fight me.
Ja-mal, there's a place you can go.
I said, Ja-mal, you see Taufik is short.
You can’t see him, and I'm sure you will lose
In step up record ti-ime!
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
You can get your ass kicked, you can try your best
You can even cheat like the rest...
An-drews, are you listening to me?
I said, An-drews, how do you want lose?
I said, An-drews, you choose from three moves.
But you’ve got to act fast choose now!
No man can beat me all by himself.
I said, An-drews, put your ass on the mat,
And just get pinned, by the C.A.G.E.
I'm sure no one knows who you are.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
You can get your ass kicked; you can try your best
You can even chat like the rest...
Mor-ons, I hope you’re listening to me.
I said, I was going to win this match.
Be-cause no one, thinks you have a damn chance.
So just go cry to your mommy’s...
That's when the bookers came up to me,
And said, Cage man, take a walk to the ring.
Get inside that, and be the C.A.G.E.
They can both just get pinned at once.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
C-A-G-E
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
Ja-mal, Ja-mal there's no need to come down
Ja-mal, Ja-mal just lay in the riiiiiiiing
C-A-G-E
Then just lose to the C-A-G-E.
An-drews, An-drews how do you want lose?
An-drews, An-drews you choose from three moves.
C-A-G-E
“Why is Carter staring at me like that? OHHH he’s in awe of my singing voice.”
Jake Cage: Don’t worry man….I know…..and I agree…….
Christian Carter: Good……
Jake Cage: So wanna grab a beer?
Killconey: But what is this? here comes another new addition to Step Up roster The Real F'n Deal Jake Cage!
[Jake Cage slides into the ring and drops in front of the charging Jamal, grabbing the rope and letting the rookie send himself to the outside, he goes straight for Taufik. But Taufik lets go of Andrews and retreats to the outside, he grabs Jamal and the two head quickly up the Entrance ramp. Jake Cage helps Ian Andrews to his feet and raises his hand in victory, Andrews snaps his hand down and shakes his head angrily. Cage walks up beside him and asks him something, to which Andrews responds by grabbing him and delivers an Andrews Effect! Andrews stares down at Jake a bit, before shaking his head and climbing out of the ring. He heads back up the walkway leaving Jake Cage out in the ring.]
Dennis: What was that about?
Killconey: I’m not sure, but it seems any respect this crowd had for Ian Andrews has been lost with that display of ingratitude. Anyway, we’d like to again thank you for joining us here on MPW Step Up! Don’t go away, because up next we’re going to see a four way elimination match between some of the newest talent on the Step Up! roster!
“Did I really deserve that? I come in and help Andrews against The Curry Committee and I get hit with whatever the hell that was. Jeez…its times like this I am glad they invented………………KARAOKE!!!”
I grab my phone.....
“Of course he isn’t answering…..probably at a love in talking about how good he feels eating day old donuts and drinking crappy coff….oh the beep.”
Jake Cage: Chris-co! It’s the Cager here….just wondering if you wanted to go hang at the Karaoke bar…..and by bar I mean alcohol…..and by alcohol I mean you can have a sprite. Well call me…maybe?
“Man I just had to end with that stupid song reference….come on Cage you’re better than that! Invite to Karaoke and I end with a song reference? Man actually I am FN wicked! Hey this is crazy…..it’s catchy! Ooohhh gotta call a cab then make Christian pick me up when I’m done.”
Taxi Dispatcher: Yes where are we picking you up? And where is your destination?
Jake Cage: I’m doing fine thank you
Taxi Dispatcher: Sir?
Jake Cage: Guys could you quiet down I’m calling a cab.
Taxi Dispatcher: I….don’t get….I don’t hear anyone else in the background.
Jake Cage: I’m sorry give me a second ma’am I can’t hear……this party I am at is off the hook and it is pretty loud.
Taxi Dispatcher: Loud….i didn’t hear…..hello? Sir? Did you just turn up the music? Wait! Is that?
Jake Cage: *sings* So here’s my number…..so call me maybe? Oh sorry….things get a bit CR-A-ZAY at my parties. Yes I’m looking to take this party to the finest Karaoke bar in town.
Taxi Dispatcher: Oh you must want to go to Pistol Pete’s?
Jake Cage: Do I want to eat?
Taxi Dispatcher: No….Pistol Pete’s it’s on Lexington drive.
Jake Cage: What’s in the sky? Umm…well right now I can see the big dipper and oh hey! Its Orion’s belt man these stars are amaz………
Taxi Dispatcher: NO I SAID PISTOL PETE’S
Jake Cage: Oh yeah….Pistol Pete’s you should’ve just said so…….almost got awkward there didn’t it?
Taxi Dispatcher: Sir it was awkward minutes ago.
Jake Cage: I know so why didn’t you just say Pistol Pete’s when you heard me singing?
Taxi Dispatcher: How was I supposed to know……no you know what sir I will dispatch a driver to come pick you up right away and take you to Pistol Pete’s….have a pleasant even…..
Jake Cage: WAIT!
Taxi Dispatcher: What is it?
Jake Cage: Can you send Taxi Dave?
Taxi Dispatcher: Taxi Dave? Who…what…..Who is Taxi Dave?
Jake Cage: You don’t know Taxi Dave?!?! You know….Yeah yeah…uh huh….I’m Taxi Dave in my black and yellow cab? No? It’s safe, it’s mean and it’s super clean? Nothing? Wow! Look there’s this thing called YouTube you should…….hello?
“Man that beeping noise gets more frequent with every phone call I make. Hmm can’t believe she didn’t know who Taxi Dave was. I better phone her back get her email address so I can…..oh cab’s here! Pistol Pete time!”
-------------------------------------------------------------
I get out of the hotel lobby and walk towards the cab and stop dead in my tracks.
“Hmm that cab driver looks sketchy….I don’t know where I’ve seen that face before?”
“hmmmm OH I REMEMBER!”
Jake Cage: OH YEAAAHHHH! I didn’t recognize you without busting through a brick wall!
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: Awesome! Kool-Aid man! Driving a cab no huh? Times been tough I guess? Kool-Aid sales aren’t what they used to be?
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: That’s the spirit…..you know where we are going my friend?
Cab Driver: Yes No Problem!
Jake Cage: Good man! Let’s go!
“Nice fellow this Kool-Aid guy. I really gotta see if he has some free samples. How come every cab I’m in there’s that goldish Kleenex box cover and a crown just stuck to the dash? Wtf is that for? Maybe I’m just jealous because I don’t have a crown ahh how wicked would that be? King Cage! That sounds much better than King Clash or as I like to call him Captain Cranky Pants! Man I’m bored but these beads on this seat are so relaxing….I gotta get me some of these awesome beads…..OH new idea beaded toilet seats…..you’re pooping and massaging at the same time! It’s heaven in toilet seat form. Just think of the mon….whoa! What’s this? The cab driver’s name is Jamal Abdul? That name rings a bell I better tweet my new best friend Christian Carter!”
I take out my phone to tweet….
@twistedchaosmpw You dude in a cab right now guy is named Jamal Abdul why is that familiar? Oh and I left you a message to go out WTH?
Jake Cage: There we do. So….When you are not moonlighting as the Kool-Aid guy you actually go by Jamal Abdul and drive a cab?
Jamal Abdul: Yes No Problem!
“He sure says that a lot……Maybe he is a man of few words….boy would that ever help Rye Payne a lot!”
Jake Cage: Sooooo Jamal……..OH! That’s my phone! Hang on for a second my well versed friend
Jamal Abdul: Yes No Problem!
“Sweet three tweets from Carter!”
@realfndealmpw same name as the guy you're facing this week idiot. Though Jamal the cab driver is a good guy. Used to always make sure I was
“Make sure I was?? Make sure I was what!?!? Come on man this suspense is kil…….*BING* oh here it is…”
@realfndealmpw in the house safely or passed out on lawn before driving away. And I got your call but when you hit me with Call me maybe
“K so he got my message…..Geebus Chris would it kill you to use twitlonger? Man this guy is going to be the dea….*BING* OH YIPPEE A TWEET!”
@realfndealmpw I refused to answer... Besides I'm not allowed to go in bars remember?
“Oh right…..but this isn’t a bar it’s a Karaoke bar! Big difference….I’ll convert him slowly….I’m sure of it. Wait a second now….let me read this again…..THAT’S RIGHT! Jamal Abdul is my opponent this week! How could I forget? But in no way shape or form could it be this Jamal. This Jamal is cool and less Indian then the other one. Plus he doubles as the Kool-Aid guy. Jamal has no clue what awaits him when I step into that ring. Sure I may seem like the happy go-lucky bearded sex machine before I go through those ropes….but once I step into that ring I become someone different….someone you don’t not want to get in the way of…..I become a happy go-lucky bearded sex machine with underwear on! Came you say the same Jamal? I think not! But granted you do come down to the ring with that dude from the Leprechaun movies….At least you know one celebrity.”
Jake Cage: Jamal my man! I can’t believe to tell you how pumped I am for Karaoke night! You’re a big fan of the art aren’t you?
Jamal Abdul: Yes no problem!
Jake Cage: See this is why I like you man! You make badass orange drink and you like karaoke!
“Oh he stopped! Meter says $15.75! The year Johnny Clash was born! Zing!”
Jake Cage: Jamal….if that in fact is your real name Mr. Kool-Aid guy….*wink, wink* Here’s a twenty you can keep the change.
Jamal Abdul: Yes no problem!
“Alright I got my beard groomed and best tuxedo shirt on. I ready to rock this joint! Time for my pump up music!”
I hit play on my iphone……
“Everyday I’m shufflin’…….yeah….this is it….my jam…..my tune…..my song if you will…..this is Pistol Pete’s I’m ready rock this shhhhhhhhh Applebee’s?”
Jake Cage: What in the sweet cinnamon stick of fun is going on here? Why am I at Applebee’s! DAMN IT! STOP THE MUSIC! THIS ISN’T KARAOKE! IT’S APPLEB……Ooohhh Half Price Appetizers…..well what could it hurt?
“Man that Kool Aid guy must know me well. Nothing like some jalapeno poppers to put me in a good mood.”
I walk through the door and get greeted by the host……
Host: Hi my name is Ian and welcome to Applebee’s…..Just you dining this evening?
Jake Cage: No my friend will be joining me soon…….
@twistedchaosmpw damn well hey man.....Jamal dropped me off at Applebee's half price apps up in here. Ian is showing me our table come join!
I follow Ian…..
“Man this guy looks vaguely familiar…..long slicked back blonde hair…..hmmmmmm where have I…..OOHHHH right! Andrews! That no good…….*BING* oh another tweet!”
@realfndealmpw alright I'm in my way can go for some buffalo wings. Try not to spill your drink butter fingers.
“Wicked Chris is coming! I can’t believe….anyways what was I………oh my look at those breasts.”
Jake Cage: Excuse me Miss I couldn’t help but noticed the magnificent breasts you have………
Woman: EXCUSE ME?!?
Jake Cage: I was just complimenting you on your…….
Man: HEY PAL THAT’S MY WIFE!
Jake Cage: Hey look calm down….
“Damn this guy is big…..Good thing I know…..too late…..WOW that’s a tight grip!”
Jake Cage: Hey pal be a lamb and loosen the grip….this is my favourite tuxedo shirt….well I have like fifteen but each one has their own personal meaning you know?
Husband: SHUT UP!
Ian: Is there a problem here sir?
Husband: Yes! This man was gawking at my wife’s breasts he even made a lewd comment towards her!
Ian: Sir that is not amusing at all!
Jake Cage: I wasn’t talking about her breasts….
“But now that they mention it…..wowzer!”
Jake Cage: I was admiring the chicken on her plate….I didn’t mean to offend….
The husband lets go….
Husband: I’m sorry….I was out of line……
Jake Cage: No problem…..so tell me Miss that chicken come with a side a nipple?
Husband: WHAT?!?! YOU SON OF A!!!
I take off and go around a table as the angered husband quickly follows…..
“Wow he’s angry look at that vein…..I swear it’s talking to me…..kinda gross I wonder…..oh oh….more people……ok time for the Cage-esque exit!”
Jake Cage: Sorry people! Love to stay and chat but I have a prior engagement!! Cage Away!
I ran as fast as I can for the exit….I make it past a useless Ian and run through the exit doors.
“Hey it’s Christian’s car…….Shoot he’s getting out….”
Jake Cage: CHRIS!! START THE CAR!!
Christian Carter: What? Why…..Ah man what did you…..
Husband: Look he has a friend!! Get him!!!
Christian Carter: Ah crap all I wanted was buffalo wings!
Jake Cage: Open the door man!
He opens and I get in……
Jake Cage: drive drive DRIVE!
“Man he’s a good driver….he peels away like he’s been chased by the cops before…..he’s almost too good…….hmmmmmm”
Jake Cage: Thanks buddy….say you sure peeled away fast do you have…..
Christian Carter: Shut up Jake……
Jake Cage: Jeez fine……..sorry about the wings……
Christian Carter: It’s cool….
Jake Cage: Hey man if you got some free time we can hit up a White Castle grab a crave case.
Christian Carter: Sounds good to me……you’re buying though….
Jake Cage: What? I’m only on step up! I have no money……
Christian Carter: Not my problem….I should be dining on wings but now I’m driving your dumbass straight to White Castle…..
Jake Cage: Ok fine! Say you want to get a beer aft….
Christian Carter: DUDE!
Jake Cage: Right, right…...jeez you recovering alcoholics sure are sensitive about that stuff aren’t you?
Christian Carter: Do you ever listen to yourself?
Jake Cage: Sometimes…..but most of the time I just sing……speaking of which….mind if I throw on some tunes?
Christian Carter: Go ahead………
Jake Cage: Hmmm Let’s see……
Christian Carter: Aw crap…….
Jake Cage: AWWWWWWWWWW YA! Looks like I’m singing Karaoke after all…….
Christian Carter: sigh……..
Jake Cage: Ja-mal, there's no need to come down.
I said, Ja-mal, just lay in the ring.
I said, Ja-mal, its the easiest thing
There's no need to even fight me.
Ja-mal, there's a place you can go.
I said, Ja-mal, you see Taufik is short.
You can’t see him, and I'm sure you will lose
In step up record ti-ime!
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
You can get your ass kicked, you can try your best
You can even cheat like the rest...
An-drews, are you listening to me?
I said, An-drews, how do you want lose?
I said, An-drews, you choose from three moves.
But you’ve got to act fast choose now!
No man can beat me all by himself.
I said, An-drews, put your ass on the mat,
And just get pinned, by the C.A.G.E.
I'm sure no one knows who you are.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
You can get your ass kicked; you can try your best
You can even chat like the rest...
Mor-ons, I hope you’re listening to me.
I said, I was going to win this match.
Be-cause no one, thinks you have a damn chance.
So just go cry to your mommy’s...
That's when the bookers came up to me,
And said, Cage man, take a walk to the ring.
Get inside that, and be the C.A.G.E.
They can both just get pinned at once.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
I have all of the skills to get the 1-2-3,
You can tell all of the boys ...
C-A-G-E
It's fun to lose to the C-A-G-E.
Ja-mal, Ja-mal there's no need to come down
Ja-mal, Ja-mal just lay in the riiiiiiiing
C-A-G-E
Then just lose to the C-A-G-E.
An-drews, An-drews how do you want lose?
An-drews, An-drews you choose from three moves.
C-A-G-E
“Why is Carter staring at me like that? OHHH he’s in awe of my singing voice.”
Jake Cage: Don’t worry man….I know…..and I agree…….
Christian Carter: Good……
Jake Cage: So wanna grab a beer?
