Post by doa on Sept 24, 2012 19:36:29 GMT -5
Calista Vandal: Honey, I’d love to play in your big box but first I have to kick your ass in the ring …but if you want a little lick and finger action afterwards, I can oblige.
Calista said as she moved back and forth behind a barbwire fence wearing a jean vest with a leopard print on the shoulders. There were several patches of underground punk bands past and present. The most prevalent was the Dead Kennedys back patch. She wore a short bondage skirt with thigh stockings and a garter belt and huge steel toed boots. As usually her hair was up in liberty spikes. Behind her was her group of punks, skin heads, and rude boys watching her play to the cameras. She took another drag of her cigarette as she moved back and forth punching the air.
Calista Vandal: So Jayde thinks I’m SOOOOO crazy for thinking the way that I think.
She puts her hand on her cheek and does a mock gasping sound.
Calista Vandal: ‘I do declare, she doesn’t believe in the same belief system I do and she doesn’t have the same hair style I have …she must be out of her mind.’
Calista threw hands and down and began to laugh as her group of about ten leaning on the brick wall began to laugh as well. She took another drag of her cigarette and continued.
Calista Vandal: Save it for Fox News Sarah Palin.
She then took another drag of her smoke and gave the camera a more serious expression. Not one of hatred but more of a sobering look of honesty.
Calista Vandal: No, Jayde …I am not crazy …in fact, I am the furthest thing from it. You’re a grown woman talking about Sponge Bob Square Pants and inviting your friends to visit you in your gigantic box. Sexual connotations aside, you don’t think that doesn’t seem a little crazy to people looking in from the outside? To some that is flat out mental cakes. But to me, well, you just have a quirk and I respect that. But to have a whole diatribe about how I’m crazy town banana pants for not believing in a religion or in our government WHILE you do something that is ALSO unorthodox is just plain hypocritical.
She then backed up and flailed her arms in the air as if she was going to explain something very in depth to her opponent. Her followers just looked on.
Calista Vandal: I don’t believe in religion after years of having “this is right, this wrong” pumped into my system. It never felt right. It always felt “false.” I grew up in a paligimist household, Jayde, I grew up to drink the kool-aide of the Mormon church and being told what God deemed as good and what God deemed as wrong. And it sometimes seemed very convenient that God wanted the exact same things my father wanted …even if they were counter-productive to what the church said. Then I got out in the world and saw that there were others, with different religions, who used religion in the same way: as a crutch. Then it donned on me …EVERYTHING donned on me. This whole society we set up, is something WE set up. It is an illusion we made a reality. Governing rules and religious philosophies were only created to help a minority. They were created to serve a small group of people who THOUGHT everything should be one way and there were no other options. They were much like you Jayde. Thought there was only one way, thought there was only one answer. They believed there needed to be order, not to benefit society but to benefit themselves. You and they are very much …um …jayded and lack the scope of this universe.
She took one final drag of her smoke and then tossed her butt on the ground and stomped on it with her black steel toed boots. She once again looked at the camera from behind the barbed wire fence.
Calista Vanda: That is why I am seem to be so out of my head. It is called being an anarchist. I am also hedonist. It means that I like to embrace myself with all the pleasures of the flesh. Do you have a problem with that is as well?
She punched the air once more, looking a little more upset.
Calista Vandal: You know what? I am done explaining it to you. You and your conservative red state friends are going to think what you are going to think. And exposing the zeitgeist to you isn’t going to solve anything. It never does. You just see it as non-sense and think the person spouting it is quite mad. So let’s go into something that EVERYONE can understand. Let’s talk about one of the two main truths in this land of confusion.
She paused for a moment before giving a cold stare into the cameras.
Calista Vandal: Pain!
She leaned herself against the barbed wire fence and held her face up to it.
Calista Vandal: We make a lot of things up in our head …but we cannot trust those things. There is only two things that is most assuredly real: pain and sex. Jayde as said, we talk about sex and your big box later if you so please …but the issue at hand here is pain. It is tangible. I can feel pain. You can feel pain. Animals can feel pain. Anything with a brain feels pain. And come this Thursday, I am going to make sure that you feel this one true tangible thing. Because it sounds like you are in dire need to turn away from the propaganda that you have been being fed by the conspiracy of lies known as media …and open up your eyes to the primal. Sure, you talked about doing all of those horrible things to me …but I didn’t believe it. I didn’t feel it. It was all just talk because you thought that is what you were supposed to do in a wrestling promo.
She leaned in closer on the barbedwire fence.
Calista Vandal: I mean it when I say this: RUN … NOW!
She licked her lips for a moment and then continued.
Calista Vandal: Why talk about the things that I am going to do when I can just do them. And princess, am I going to do some things with you. I am going to do some blatantly nasty things with you in that ring …and if afterwards if you are down …you will let me do some blatantly nasty things to you outside the ring. But in this match, I don’t care about the win. I don’t care about being crowned a champion …if that happens then that cool. But what I really want to do is open you up to how great the world is when you live by the code of pure unadulterated chaos that surrounds us; the chaos that makes up this world when you stop looking at the distractions. And the only way to do that is to make you hurt. It is to make you black and blue. You might be cute now but can imagine how beautiful you’d be bruised and bleeding. It is dirty. It is primal. It is fucking hot. And only when you embrace that complete loss of control will you ever be the wrestler you think you are. Only then will you be this brawler you are telling everyone you are. Until you realize that beauty is scars and ink …then you just aren’t the person that you want everyone to think you are.
She climbed up the barbed wire fence a little bit.
Calista Vandal: In closing Jayde, I can’t wait to strip you of your worldly outfit and then take you as we are meant to be in the REAL real world: constantly in agonizing pain.
She stayed crawling on the fence with her followers looking on and cheering her as she blew a kiss to the camera as they faded out.
------
------
My parents called again …they urged me to change my ways and come back to Salt Lake City AGAIN. But they would only accept if I changed those way and that isn’t going to happen. They don’t really get it yet. They still see this as a rebellious and not who I really am. This is what I believe and this who I am but Mormons have a pretty damn good sense of a strong denial. And Trish and Dwayne, my parents, are denying like crazy still …even after two years of kicking me out of the community until I saw the error of my ways. There was no error in my ways. Mormonism is a cult. Religion in general is a cult. The world in general is bound by the chains of lies created by stodgy old men. I wasn’t going to be apart of that and thus I ran to wrestling school.
And there I learned all kinds of neat things about my body. Firstly, that it was a weapon. Secondly, that it was a canvas. And thirdly, that you can put things in it and it feels almost god damn Euphoric. While I was turned onto anarchy a few years before leaving the community, until I actually left, I didn’t realize what my body was capable of. I took it for granted for the most part …because all the things the body could really excel at doing was considered a huge sin. But the minute I began my wrestling training, I found that those things are the most amazing and freeing things in the world. And this all happened when I took my first clothesline in the ring. I FELT it. That was the first time I had ever felt anything. I wanted more of that feeling …and GOD did I get more of it. The adrenaline rush was insane. And then when I started being able to unleash that pain on others, I felt an arousal I had never felt before. I was capable of all of that mayhem? All of that power? All of that chaos? I wasn’t even aware my body could do that.
I wanted to find more things I could do with body.
The next step was not just realizing that my body could be a weapon but that it could actually be art. A couple of my fellow wrestlers had some ink and they encouraged me to do the same. Being the shy Mormon girl, I was a bit nervous, but after the pain that the needle delivered when it painted that work on my chest …it was freeing. Soon I realized that with pain came art …and I made my body a piece of art. I my body was soon a museum of the soul. But it wasn’t enough. I needed the kind of pain that I haven’t felt before. I needed to feel “real.”
Six months after starting wrestling training, one of my trainers finally taught me what it was like to see reality. He showed me the final great, and most euphoric use of the human body. I’d have never felt a feeling that was painful but the greatest thing at the same time. It was the closest thing to heaven that anyone is ever going to feel …EVER. But then, like the wrestling and the ink …I wanted more. But not with the same person over and over. I wanted to feel the way other men …and women …and races did it. I wanted it all at once.
Finally, my body was awakened to all the great things that it could do and feel. And then I could go onto to use the way I WANTED to. There was no authority telling me I couldn’t unleash pure anarchy on Jayde Brooklyn. No one could tell me who are what to fornicate with. This lifestyle I am living now …the one where my body is the boss and not my mind …this is freedom. Anyone else is just held back by conformity and fake laws who tell them such use of their body is “wrong.” I would never go back to being that again.
Punk Rock freed my mind. And wrestling freed my body.
And now I sit here in my small shack of a studio apartment with only a mattress and a small black and white television. I had everything as a good Mormon girl, but in reality, I had nothing but lies. Now I sit here in a black pair of boy shorts and a half t-shirt with a bottle of tequila in my hand, boy I just fucked on the mattress, a cigarette in my mouth and my debut match at MPW to prepare for. That is enough for me. I look towards the nights sky from the tiny window in my tiny apartment and realize that any more would just be that false reality everyone lives in that I have gone about numerous times already.
I am content. I am ready. Jayde has no idea what is coming.
Calista said as she moved back and forth behind a barbwire fence wearing a jean vest with a leopard print on the shoulders. There were several patches of underground punk bands past and present. The most prevalent was the Dead Kennedys back patch. She wore a short bondage skirt with thigh stockings and a garter belt and huge steel toed boots. As usually her hair was up in liberty spikes. Behind her was her group of punks, skin heads, and rude boys watching her play to the cameras. She took another drag of her cigarette as she moved back and forth punching the air.
Calista Vandal: So Jayde thinks I’m SOOOOO crazy for thinking the way that I think.
She puts her hand on her cheek and does a mock gasping sound.
Calista Vandal: ‘I do declare, she doesn’t believe in the same belief system I do and she doesn’t have the same hair style I have …she must be out of her mind.’
Calista threw hands and down and began to laugh as her group of about ten leaning on the brick wall began to laugh as well. She took another drag of her cigarette and continued.
Calista Vandal: Save it for Fox News Sarah Palin.
She then took another drag of her smoke and gave the camera a more serious expression. Not one of hatred but more of a sobering look of honesty.
Calista Vandal: No, Jayde …I am not crazy …in fact, I am the furthest thing from it. You’re a grown woman talking about Sponge Bob Square Pants and inviting your friends to visit you in your gigantic box. Sexual connotations aside, you don’t think that doesn’t seem a little crazy to people looking in from the outside? To some that is flat out mental cakes. But to me, well, you just have a quirk and I respect that. But to have a whole diatribe about how I’m crazy town banana pants for not believing in a religion or in our government WHILE you do something that is ALSO unorthodox is just plain hypocritical.
She then backed up and flailed her arms in the air as if she was going to explain something very in depth to her opponent. Her followers just looked on.
Calista Vandal: I don’t believe in religion after years of having “this is right, this wrong” pumped into my system. It never felt right. It always felt “false.” I grew up in a paligimist household, Jayde, I grew up to drink the kool-aide of the Mormon church and being told what God deemed as good and what God deemed as wrong. And it sometimes seemed very convenient that God wanted the exact same things my father wanted …even if they were counter-productive to what the church said. Then I got out in the world and saw that there were others, with different religions, who used religion in the same way: as a crutch. Then it donned on me …EVERYTHING donned on me. This whole society we set up, is something WE set up. It is an illusion we made a reality. Governing rules and religious philosophies were only created to help a minority. They were created to serve a small group of people who THOUGHT everything should be one way and there were no other options. They were much like you Jayde. Thought there was only one way, thought there was only one answer. They believed there needed to be order, not to benefit society but to benefit themselves. You and they are very much …um …jayded and lack the scope of this universe.
She took one final drag of her smoke and then tossed her butt on the ground and stomped on it with her black steel toed boots. She once again looked at the camera from behind the barbed wire fence.
Calista Vanda: That is why I am seem to be so out of my head. It is called being an anarchist. I am also hedonist. It means that I like to embrace myself with all the pleasures of the flesh. Do you have a problem with that is as well?
She punched the air once more, looking a little more upset.
Calista Vandal: You know what? I am done explaining it to you. You and your conservative red state friends are going to think what you are going to think. And exposing the zeitgeist to you isn’t going to solve anything. It never does. You just see it as non-sense and think the person spouting it is quite mad. So let’s go into something that EVERYONE can understand. Let’s talk about one of the two main truths in this land of confusion.
She paused for a moment before giving a cold stare into the cameras.
Calista Vandal: Pain!
She leaned herself against the barbed wire fence and held her face up to it.
Calista Vandal: We make a lot of things up in our head …but we cannot trust those things. There is only two things that is most assuredly real: pain and sex. Jayde as said, we talk about sex and your big box later if you so please …but the issue at hand here is pain. It is tangible. I can feel pain. You can feel pain. Animals can feel pain. Anything with a brain feels pain. And come this Thursday, I am going to make sure that you feel this one true tangible thing. Because it sounds like you are in dire need to turn away from the propaganda that you have been being fed by the conspiracy of lies known as media …and open up your eyes to the primal. Sure, you talked about doing all of those horrible things to me …but I didn’t believe it. I didn’t feel it. It was all just talk because you thought that is what you were supposed to do in a wrestling promo.
She leaned in closer on the barbedwire fence.
Calista Vandal: I mean it when I say this: RUN … NOW!
She licked her lips for a moment and then continued.
Calista Vandal: Why talk about the things that I am going to do when I can just do them. And princess, am I going to do some things with you. I am going to do some blatantly nasty things with you in that ring …and if afterwards if you are down …you will let me do some blatantly nasty things to you outside the ring. But in this match, I don’t care about the win. I don’t care about being crowned a champion …if that happens then that cool. But what I really want to do is open you up to how great the world is when you live by the code of pure unadulterated chaos that surrounds us; the chaos that makes up this world when you stop looking at the distractions. And the only way to do that is to make you hurt. It is to make you black and blue. You might be cute now but can imagine how beautiful you’d be bruised and bleeding. It is dirty. It is primal. It is fucking hot. And only when you embrace that complete loss of control will you ever be the wrestler you think you are. Only then will you be this brawler you are telling everyone you are. Until you realize that beauty is scars and ink …then you just aren’t the person that you want everyone to think you are.
She climbed up the barbed wire fence a little bit.
Calista Vandal: In closing Jayde, I can’t wait to strip you of your worldly outfit and then take you as we are meant to be in the REAL real world: constantly in agonizing pain.
She stayed crawling on the fence with her followers looking on and cheering her as she blew a kiss to the camera as they faded out.
------
------
My parents called again …they urged me to change my ways and come back to Salt Lake City AGAIN. But they would only accept if I changed those way and that isn’t going to happen. They don’t really get it yet. They still see this as a rebellious and not who I really am. This is what I believe and this who I am but Mormons have a pretty damn good sense of a strong denial. And Trish and Dwayne, my parents, are denying like crazy still …even after two years of kicking me out of the community until I saw the error of my ways. There was no error in my ways. Mormonism is a cult. Religion in general is a cult. The world in general is bound by the chains of lies created by stodgy old men. I wasn’t going to be apart of that and thus I ran to wrestling school.
And there I learned all kinds of neat things about my body. Firstly, that it was a weapon. Secondly, that it was a canvas. And thirdly, that you can put things in it and it feels almost god damn Euphoric. While I was turned onto anarchy a few years before leaving the community, until I actually left, I didn’t realize what my body was capable of. I took it for granted for the most part …because all the things the body could really excel at doing was considered a huge sin. But the minute I began my wrestling training, I found that those things are the most amazing and freeing things in the world. And this all happened when I took my first clothesline in the ring. I FELT it. That was the first time I had ever felt anything. I wanted more of that feeling …and GOD did I get more of it. The adrenaline rush was insane. And then when I started being able to unleash that pain on others, I felt an arousal I had never felt before. I was capable of all of that mayhem? All of that power? All of that chaos? I wasn’t even aware my body could do that.
I wanted to find more things I could do with body.
The next step was not just realizing that my body could be a weapon but that it could actually be art. A couple of my fellow wrestlers had some ink and they encouraged me to do the same. Being the shy Mormon girl, I was a bit nervous, but after the pain that the needle delivered when it painted that work on my chest …it was freeing. Soon I realized that with pain came art …and I made my body a piece of art. I my body was soon a museum of the soul. But it wasn’t enough. I needed the kind of pain that I haven’t felt before. I needed to feel “real.”
Six months after starting wrestling training, one of my trainers finally taught me what it was like to see reality. He showed me the final great, and most euphoric use of the human body. I’d have never felt a feeling that was painful but the greatest thing at the same time. It was the closest thing to heaven that anyone is ever going to feel …EVER. But then, like the wrestling and the ink …I wanted more. But not with the same person over and over. I wanted to feel the way other men …and women …and races did it. I wanted it all at once.
Finally, my body was awakened to all the great things that it could do and feel. And then I could go onto to use the way I WANTED to. There was no authority telling me I couldn’t unleash pure anarchy on Jayde Brooklyn. No one could tell me who are what to fornicate with. This lifestyle I am living now …the one where my body is the boss and not my mind …this is freedom. Anyone else is just held back by conformity and fake laws who tell them such use of their body is “wrong.” I would never go back to being that again.
Punk Rock freed my mind. And wrestling freed my body.
And now I sit here in my small shack of a studio apartment with only a mattress and a small black and white television. I had everything as a good Mormon girl, but in reality, I had nothing but lies. Now I sit here in a black pair of boy shorts and a half t-shirt with a bottle of tequila in my hand, boy I just fucked on the mattress, a cigarette in my mouth and my debut match at MPW to prepare for. That is enough for me. I look towards the nights sky from the tiny window in my tiny apartment and realize that any more would just be that false reality everyone lives in that I have gone about numerous times already.
I am content. I am ready. Jayde has no idea what is coming.