Post by ethancage on Sept 26, 2012 19:44:37 GMT -5
((OOC: I did a second and didn't want it to go to waste))
Press Start
The camera comes in on MPW's Ash Soulsfate, at a signing for the company within a Besy Buy, a new addition to the others at this signing. Ash is seated at a desk with his Black Chuck Taylors propped up on that desk. With looks of being bored and uninterested. Slowly but surely, his loyalty towards MPW becoming more and more within him yet it's something you'd never know. Ash is in his leather jacket with Marvel's Venom symbol shirt and ripped jeans. A local worker is sitting next to Ash, a potential new signing for MPW, in a look to find out this man's personality the local worker is seated with Ash. In some ways, it's MPW's way also to find out how Ash would represent MPW. Ash is not so much a people person, he'd much rather be fighting, his opponents for the week running through his head. Ash will do what he needs to beat the other three opponents, as it's a point he has to make to MPW, a point he has to make to himself. The fact that he is still that same man that was once on top of the mountain, that his dues have been paid, to see if he can do it once again. As well, titles run through his head, that X-Core Championship runs across his head. When he'd much rather be training, than doing these signings. And to look at Ash, and his barely presentable attire, Ash looks over at the local wrestler who is in a suit and tie. Classic, and spiffy, while looking at Ash, who might've not even taken a shower this morning.
Local Worker: I thought they'd give me Trey Baxter or Justin Fischer.
Ash: Yeah, and I thought they'd give me a wrestler that's at least on the roster.
Local Worker: Yeah, well, in due time.
Ash: I'm sure they need a janitor at MPW.
Local Worker: Yeah, apparently, they signed you didn't they?
Local Worker smirks as if he's just gotten Ash.
Ash: What's your name?
Local Wrestler: Preston Green, the call me The Body. Do you want to see why?
Ash: No thank you Broke Back, you can save that for the ring.
Preston: Why are you even in the MPW, you look almost homeless, you look like you have no drive, and it's people like you that are signed to that company who don't even appreciate it. I hope Primal-
Ash: You finish those words kid, and I'm going to show you what I'm going to do to Primal.
Preston: He's got rage for days.
Ash: He's got fat for days.
Preston: And then there's Jeff Jackson, the Enigma.
Ash: Yeah, do you know how many companies have an "enigma". It's about as original as the word "extreme" when it comes to wrestling.
Preston: And Freddie Styles?
Ash: Oh, Freddie "I can't get myself over" Styles, yeah, he's got a shot in hell of beating me.
Ash shakes his head.
Preston: You know if we weren't representing MPW right now.
Ash turns his head.
Ash: Let's get one thing straight kid, I'm representing MPW. I'm the only one getting paid to do this.
Preston: Is that what you're about, money? You're not about the purity of wrestling. You're pathetic.
The Best Buy manager steps in between the two.
Manager: Is this part of the gig, you two banter back and forth, because you guys only have 1 hour and there's a line clear to the outside.
Preston: You tell MPW's new bad boy to lighten up.
Ash: ...
Manager: Now that we have everything in order, let's let these people get their signatures.
The manager goes to unhook the velvet rope. Ash leans towards Preston.
Ash: Before you walk out of this room, we're gonna handle our business.
Preston: You wouldn't dare, what are you, some kind of heathen?
Ash: You really never heard of me, and I don't take offense, it's people like you who have no idea about the business they are getting into.
The first child walks up to Ash Soulsfate.
Kid: "Welcome to the Hunt!"
Ash smirks.
Ash: You got it down kid. Good job.
Preston: What's that, you're little tag line, a hunt?
Ash rolls his shoulders.
Preston to the kid.
Preston: You don't want my signature kid?
Kid: Who are you?
Preston: I'm Preston "The Body" Green.
Kid: My Dad said that was Jesse Ventura's name.
Preston: Yeah, but I'm the new one.
Ash: As original as the enigma I guess.
Preston: Next!
The second kid comes up to Ash, and Preston looks around.
Preston: NEXT!
And the line forms in front of Ash, who simply smirks.
Kid 2: I just want you to know Ash, you do have eyes on you. I like what you have to say, and what you did to Frost was hella tight.
Ash: Well thanks kid, wait 'til you see what I do to three guys this week at Thursday Night Takedown.
Kid 2: Sweet!
Preston: Yeah, you're gonna see Ash get his as-
Ash out of nowhere slams Preston's head into the desk. The manager panicks and tries to stop the fight but with Ash's back to the manager, Ash hits the pele kick that he calls "I Will Always Be Better". Ash looks at Preston who is holding his head with both his hands. Ash stands on the desk.
Ash: You all follow MPW?
Crowd: Yeah.
Ash: You all like Bliss?
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: Johnny Clash!
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: What about Trey Baxter?
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: Yeah, well I'm none of those guys. I am something MPW has yet to see, I am Ash Soulsfate. I'd like to call myself the future of MPW but that nowadays has become cliche. You see a lot of motherfuckers walk in through those doors and fail and leave you. They gain your trust and they leave you, and in this company which was just born itself, this is a time when you plant a seed for things to grow. Well, you've come to love who you love, and believe me, I'm one of the biggest pricks you're ever going to meet in wrestling. I'm only here because of a contractual agreement. This is all part of what I don't want to do, do I want you to idolize me, sure, but only to feed my ego. I'm a very selfish man, and I'm not afraid to admit that. But here's the deal, I'm being upfront with you. I will not stand here and kiss your ass or hold your hand. I'm in the MPW to kick some ass and win some titles. Now all those freaks that come in and fail, like Freddie Styles, those losers can eat horse shit. I will not fail, I will become this company's X-Core Champion. This week placed before me are three men that are begging, literally begging for me to kick the living shit out of them. And they've come to the right man, MPW can place me in throw away matches all they want because the wins will speak for themselves, earning my way is just fine. I thrive on challenges, just to make people eat their words. I will become a name in this company, my face will be on MPW magazines, websites and at the very sight of my name on the card, you will pay whatever cable company and however much it is just to see me. Below me is a man that believes by talking down to me, it makes him a better man. That it might generate interest, enough interest to MPW to sign him. As you've seen by looking at the man who makes his living here, I could give a shit about this local worker.
Ash points to Preston is remains unresponsive.
Ash: Because you see, I'm better than a lot of people in MPW, if not everyone. And I stand here in front of you today, within months I will have a bit more clout, I will have a bit more going for me, because I will be holding the X-Core Championship. You got guys like Kuk Killswitch, who is seen as one of the favorites and also the first man to enter the match for the pay per view, but sad to say he's in for an upset, just as Primal is, just as Freddie Styles is and Jeff Jackson can go suck a Buffalo dick. I'm here to be a legend, I'm here to make my name synonymous with Ric Flair, Austin, Steamboat, and some of the current stars you all bow and pray to. That is what drives me, to be better than all of you, to make sure that when you see my name, you're always looking up. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Ash hops down off the table and picks up Preston and throws him into a DVD standee. A cascade of dvds fall out of it. The crowd going nuts, as if ignoring the words Ash just spoke, in either respect for Ash or simply seeing someone's ass getting kicked. Ash kicks the fallen Preston in the stomach. Ash lifts him up and throws him into the X-Box television display, the television shatters. Ash walks Preston towards the carts and throws him into a cart and rolls him forward towards the refrigerators, he runs while pushing the cart and lets go of the cart. Preston goes face first into the refrigerator. Ash pulls Preston out of the cart, the crowd followed Ash, puts Preston's head into the refrigerator and holds the door open. Ash sees a kid in an old BLPW Ash shirt, his hair long, high school age, camo pants and almost the exact Ash leather jacket.
Ash: Hey kid, a little help?
The high school kid runs and kicks the door closed on Preston's head. Preston slumps down to the ground.
Ash: Hrmmm.
Ash checks Preston for a pulse.
Ash: Oh good, he's still alive, no jail for me. Okay, kid, one last thing, bring this guy up to me.
Ash steps onto a nearby washing machine as it is in the same area. The high school kid puts Preston's arm over over the back of his neck and lifts him just enough for Ash to grab Preston by the collar and up to him. Ash puts Preston in the reverse death valley driver position.
Ash: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Ash Soulsfate, I will BE MPW!
Ash throws Preston over and holds Preston's head into a cutter. Preston comes down hard, and is bleeding from the mouth and eyebrow. The crowd is stunned silent at the sight.
Ash: Now, who wants autographs?
The kids run away crying and screaming, as do the women, the men stuck on stupid as they don't know if this was a show or for real. Ash looks around.
Ash: No one, ...well, looks like I'm done.
Ash hops down from the washing machine and walks towards the exit. Ash is stopped by a cute girl, kind of resembling that chick from the Big Bang Theory.
Girl: Excuse me? So who should we charge all this damage to?
Ash: Madd Katt, ....that's Katt with two T's.
Ash winks at the girl and slides his sunglasses on and heads out and sees Poe with a Jamba Juice cup and her tablet, wearing a baby tee of Marvin the Martian and short jean shorts and pink sandles.
Poe: Well that was quick.
Ash: Yeah, weirdest thing, no one showed.
Poe: What was with that fire drill scene that just came pouring out of those doors?
Ash: Sale on Iphone 5s.
Poe: Cool.
Ash and Poe walk off into the sunset.
I've Got This
The scene comes back in on Ash Soulsfate, sitting in the arena the night before Thursday Night Takedown, being one of the first to step on the new set. A feat no doubt accomplished by his sly talk and personality. Ash stands on the stage with a microphone, maybe the first to hold and speak into one.
Ash: Primal...well it seems like I've might have struck a cord with you. I'd apologize but that was the whole point of talking down to you and verbally making you my overgrown bitch. What you had to say was pretty general. More arguing with yourself and then, oh yeah I have a match, and these people better watch out.
Ash mimics being asleep.
Ash: Wow, how generic was that, pretty much you could say the same thing and have the monkeys in the back edit the names like a curse word on TBS. Which again tells me that you have no idea who you're coming to the ring to face. And I like that, because we'll see what kind of beast you are, when I lay you out and make you a nothing in MPW. You sit around thinking there is this thirst hungry beast inside of you, and the truth is, you're on a lucky streak and like any other gambler, you don't want the table to get cold. Well, no matter what you do this week, you can pace and think until you make a whole in the carpet, this week, you're simply outmatched. Because this new determination you have, I've had that since the day I walked into this business. That's why I can look at a monster like you and spit in your face and still leave the winner of this match.
Ash: If you think Bloodhound took any fear away from you, you can count on your boy Ash Soulsfate to replace that fear. Because I will make you question your talent, I will make you lose that determination and I'm going to make sure that when people hear the name Primal, they laugh because it won't represent you as a man. It'll be what it's always been, a laughable gimmick.
Ash: This week, if you "go with the flow", you're going to find yourself overtaken, and you'll never be able to catch up. You're going to get winded, you're going to be tired and then, I'm going to really get to work. All those fries from Wendy's are going to come back and bite you in the ass you fuckin' hog.
Poe steps into the camera.
Poe: Hi Primal wimal.
Ash mimics Primal's scene.
Ash: Hi Kewwy.
Poe bats her eye.
Poe: Pwimal, you look like a beasty weasty out der.
Ash: Thank you, I'm a beast and I'm blushing. Say, it's great of your company, where you have an egostical and very strict boss to let you show up for another company, his very competition, and let you be in my promo.
Poe: Wasn't it so beweaveable that I'd be in your promo?
Ash: I think I really proved I have friends now. They'll like me for sure because I have a famous fwiend.
Poe breaks character.
Poe: What a fuckin' nerd.
Ash laughs.
Ash: Hey Primal, that was a great scene, you're in the friend zone with Kelly. God you're pathetic. You think that's going to make us jealous, that you're her girlfriend, that you bitches go shopping together and do each other's hair. Well Han Solo had Chewbacca, Boo had Sully, Million Dollar Man had Zeus, and Kelly has Primal. You're a fuckin' slave, people use you for your weight and that's all you'll ever be good for. Basically, you have the same use as a paper weight, but the paper weight knows just how useless he truly is. With your moronic brain, it's still going to take you a few years.
Ash: I watched your promo and thought of ways you got Kelly on your little promo, I took in, your lack of brain, I took in your way of speech, and I definitely took in the size of that gigantic head. And I came to this conclusion, obviously you met her at the make a wish foundation, and your wish was granted. She only skypes you, because you scare the living shit out of her, and you're one of those people who wreaks of shit, no, not b.o, I mean literally shit. You have that look and walk like you might have half a shit hanging out at all times. So I commend Kelly on keeping up her friendship with you, she has a bigger heart than you do vocabulary.
Ash: But that's the only way people are ever going to do anything for you, because they simply feel sorry for the big dumb retard. Hey, I'd feel sorry for you, but nothing is going to cost me this win.
Ash: To make things worse for you Morty, I can bypass you all together and make this a race to pin Freddie Styles or Jeff Jackson. You will not have four choices, you will have a race, and every time you think you're that monster, I'm going to humble you. I'm going to make you as small as peanut, and I'm going to make you have the confidence of the same size.
Ash: You are worried about consequences, and I will gladly take on the consequences of being a winner. Because I for one, take responsibility, while you stand there deciding which one of you is going to take a shit. What is hilarious, is that you think you're primal, but all your promos are full of, is you thinking. You're like a god damn MTV reality show, thinking and discussing with others your trials of being a big dumb jackass in a world full of winners. You want to know how to cope, why don't you become one of those woods people, that way when people see you at night, they can claim they saw big foot sights. At least you would serve some purpose there.
Ash: Primal, you talked down to all of us and said some beast was coming, but how did it end, with your ever present insecurities once again arising. I'm a man of action, and believe me, while you're thinking, the match...will already be over.
Ash: The other two who didn't even bother to promote this match, you are useless, you are pieces of shit and I hope that you get aids in your rectum and everyone questions your sexuality for the rest of your short, meaningless lives. This match goes to me....this match goes to Ash Soulsfate.
The camera fades to ....
Black
Press Start
The camera comes in on MPW's Ash Soulsfate, at a signing for the company within a Besy Buy, a new addition to the others at this signing. Ash is seated at a desk with his Black Chuck Taylors propped up on that desk. With looks of being bored and uninterested. Slowly but surely, his loyalty towards MPW becoming more and more within him yet it's something you'd never know. Ash is in his leather jacket with Marvel's Venom symbol shirt and ripped jeans. A local worker is sitting next to Ash, a potential new signing for MPW, in a look to find out this man's personality the local worker is seated with Ash. In some ways, it's MPW's way also to find out how Ash would represent MPW. Ash is not so much a people person, he'd much rather be fighting, his opponents for the week running through his head. Ash will do what he needs to beat the other three opponents, as it's a point he has to make to MPW, a point he has to make to himself. The fact that he is still that same man that was once on top of the mountain, that his dues have been paid, to see if he can do it once again. As well, titles run through his head, that X-Core Championship runs across his head. When he'd much rather be training, than doing these signings. And to look at Ash, and his barely presentable attire, Ash looks over at the local wrestler who is in a suit and tie. Classic, and spiffy, while looking at Ash, who might've not even taken a shower this morning.
Local Worker: I thought they'd give me Trey Baxter or Justin Fischer.
Ash: Yeah, and I thought they'd give me a wrestler that's at least on the roster.
Local Worker: Yeah, well, in due time.
Ash: I'm sure they need a janitor at MPW.
Local Worker: Yeah, apparently, they signed you didn't they?
Local Worker smirks as if he's just gotten Ash.
Ash: What's your name?
Local Wrestler: Preston Green, the call me The Body. Do you want to see why?
Ash: No thank you Broke Back, you can save that for the ring.
Preston: Why are you even in the MPW, you look almost homeless, you look like you have no drive, and it's people like you that are signed to that company who don't even appreciate it. I hope Primal-
Ash: You finish those words kid, and I'm going to show you what I'm going to do to Primal.
Preston: He's got rage for days.
Ash: He's got fat for days.
Preston: And then there's Jeff Jackson, the Enigma.
Ash: Yeah, do you know how many companies have an "enigma". It's about as original as the word "extreme" when it comes to wrestling.
Preston: And Freddie Styles?
Ash: Oh, Freddie "I can't get myself over" Styles, yeah, he's got a shot in hell of beating me.
Ash shakes his head.
Preston: You know if we weren't representing MPW right now.
Ash turns his head.
Ash: Let's get one thing straight kid, I'm representing MPW. I'm the only one getting paid to do this.
Preston: Is that what you're about, money? You're not about the purity of wrestling. You're pathetic.
The Best Buy manager steps in between the two.
Manager: Is this part of the gig, you two banter back and forth, because you guys only have 1 hour and there's a line clear to the outside.
Preston: You tell MPW's new bad boy to lighten up.
Ash: ...
Manager: Now that we have everything in order, let's let these people get their signatures.
The manager goes to unhook the velvet rope. Ash leans towards Preston.
Ash: Before you walk out of this room, we're gonna handle our business.
Preston: You wouldn't dare, what are you, some kind of heathen?
Ash: You really never heard of me, and I don't take offense, it's people like you who have no idea about the business they are getting into.
The first child walks up to Ash Soulsfate.
Kid: "Welcome to the Hunt!"
Ash smirks.
Ash: You got it down kid. Good job.
Preston: What's that, you're little tag line, a hunt?
Ash rolls his shoulders.
Preston to the kid.
Preston: You don't want my signature kid?
Kid: Who are you?
Preston: I'm Preston "The Body" Green.
Kid: My Dad said that was Jesse Ventura's name.
Preston: Yeah, but I'm the new one.
Ash: As original as the enigma I guess.
Preston: Next!
The second kid comes up to Ash, and Preston looks around.
Preston: NEXT!
And the line forms in front of Ash, who simply smirks.
Kid 2: I just want you to know Ash, you do have eyes on you. I like what you have to say, and what you did to Frost was hella tight.
Ash: Well thanks kid, wait 'til you see what I do to three guys this week at Thursday Night Takedown.
Kid 2: Sweet!
Preston: Yeah, you're gonna see Ash get his as-
Ash out of nowhere slams Preston's head into the desk. The manager panicks and tries to stop the fight but with Ash's back to the manager, Ash hits the pele kick that he calls "I Will Always Be Better". Ash looks at Preston who is holding his head with both his hands. Ash stands on the desk.
Ash: You all follow MPW?
Crowd: Yeah.
Ash: You all like Bliss?
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: Johnny Clash!
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: What about Trey Baxter?
Crowd: Yeah!
Ash: Yeah, well I'm none of those guys. I am something MPW has yet to see, I am Ash Soulsfate. I'd like to call myself the future of MPW but that nowadays has become cliche. You see a lot of motherfuckers walk in through those doors and fail and leave you. They gain your trust and they leave you, and in this company which was just born itself, this is a time when you plant a seed for things to grow. Well, you've come to love who you love, and believe me, I'm one of the biggest pricks you're ever going to meet in wrestling. I'm only here because of a contractual agreement. This is all part of what I don't want to do, do I want you to idolize me, sure, but only to feed my ego. I'm a very selfish man, and I'm not afraid to admit that. But here's the deal, I'm being upfront with you. I will not stand here and kiss your ass or hold your hand. I'm in the MPW to kick some ass and win some titles. Now all those freaks that come in and fail, like Freddie Styles, those losers can eat horse shit. I will not fail, I will become this company's X-Core Champion. This week placed before me are three men that are begging, literally begging for me to kick the living shit out of them. And they've come to the right man, MPW can place me in throw away matches all they want because the wins will speak for themselves, earning my way is just fine. I thrive on challenges, just to make people eat their words. I will become a name in this company, my face will be on MPW magazines, websites and at the very sight of my name on the card, you will pay whatever cable company and however much it is just to see me. Below me is a man that believes by talking down to me, it makes him a better man. That it might generate interest, enough interest to MPW to sign him. As you've seen by looking at the man who makes his living here, I could give a shit about this local worker.
Ash points to Preston is remains unresponsive.
Ash: Because you see, I'm better than a lot of people in MPW, if not everyone. And I stand here in front of you today, within months I will have a bit more clout, I will have a bit more going for me, because I will be holding the X-Core Championship. You got guys like Kuk Killswitch, who is seen as one of the favorites and also the first man to enter the match for the pay per view, but sad to say he's in for an upset, just as Primal is, just as Freddie Styles is and Jeff Jackson can go suck a Buffalo dick. I'm here to be a legend, I'm here to make my name synonymous with Ric Flair, Austin, Steamboat, and some of the current stars you all bow and pray to. That is what drives me, to be better than all of you, to make sure that when you see my name, you're always looking up. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Ash hops down off the table and picks up Preston and throws him into a DVD standee. A cascade of dvds fall out of it. The crowd going nuts, as if ignoring the words Ash just spoke, in either respect for Ash or simply seeing someone's ass getting kicked. Ash kicks the fallen Preston in the stomach. Ash lifts him up and throws him into the X-Box television display, the television shatters. Ash walks Preston towards the carts and throws him into a cart and rolls him forward towards the refrigerators, he runs while pushing the cart and lets go of the cart. Preston goes face first into the refrigerator. Ash pulls Preston out of the cart, the crowd followed Ash, puts Preston's head into the refrigerator and holds the door open. Ash sees a kid in an old BLPW Ash shirt, his hair long, high school age, camo pants and almost the exact Ash leather jacket.
Ash: Hey kid, a little help?
The high school kid runs and kicks the door closed on Preston's head. Preston slumps down to the ground.
Ash: Hrmmm.
Ash checks Preston for a pulse.
Ash: Oh good, he's still alive, no jail for me. Okay, kid, one last thing, bring this guy up to me.
Ash steps onto a nearby washing machine as it is in the same area. The high school kid puts Preston's arm over over the back of his neck and lifts him just enough for Ash to grab Preston by the collar and up to him. Ash puts Preston in the reverse death valley driver position.
Ash: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Ash Soulsfate, I will BE MPW!
Ash throws Preston over and holds Preston's head into a cutter. Preston comes down hard, and is bleeding from the mouth and eyebrow. The crowd is stunned silent at the sight.
Ash: Now, who wants autographs?
The kids run away crying and screaming, as do the women, the men stuck on stupid as they don't know if this was a show or for real. Ash looks around.
Ash: No one, ...well, looks like I'm done.
Ash hops down from the washing machine and walks towards the exit. Ash is stopped by a cute girl, kind of resembling that chick from the Big Bang Theory.
Girl: Excuse me? So who should we charge all this damage to?
Ash: Madd Katt, ....that's Katt with two T's.
Ash winks at the girl and slides his sunglasses on and heads out and sees Poe with a Jamba Juice cup and her tablet, wearing a baby tee of Marvin the Martian and short jean shorts and pink sandles.
Poe: Well that was quick.
Ash: Yeah, weirdest thing, no one showed.
Poe: What was with that fire drill scene that just came pouring out of those doors?
Ash: Sale on Iphone 5s.
Poe: Cool.
Ash and Poe walk off into the sunset.
I've Got This
The scene comes back in on Ash Soulsfate, sitting in the arena the night before Thursday Night Takedown, being one of the first to step on the new set. A feat no doubt accomplished by his sly talk and personality. Ash stands on the stage with a microphone, maybe the first to hold and speak into one.
Ash: Primal...well it seems like I've might have struck a cord with you. I'd apologize but that was the whole point of talking down to you and verbally making you my overgrown bitch. What you had to say was pretty general. More arguing with yourself and then, oh yeah I have a match, and these people better watch out.
Ash mimics being asleep.
Ash: Wow, how generic was that, pretty much you could say the same thing and have the monkeys in the back edit the names like a curse word on TBS. Which again tells me that you have no idea who you're coming to the ring to face. And I like that, because we'll see what kind of beast you are, when I lay you out and make you a nothing in MPW. You sit around thinking there is this thirst hungry beast inside of you, and the truth is, you're on a lucky streak and like any other gambler, you don't want the table to get cold. Well, no matter what you do this week, you can pace and think until you make a whole in the carpet, this week, you're simply outmatched. Because this new determination you have, I've had that since the day I walked into this business. That's why I can look at a monster like you and spit in your face and still leave the winner of this match.
Ash: If you think Bloodhound took any fear away from you, you can count on your boy Ash Soulsfate to replace that fear. Because I will make you question your talent, I will make you lose that determination and I'm going to make sure that when people hear the name Primal, they laugh because it won't represent you as a man. It'll be what it's always been, a laughable gimmick.
Ash: This week, if you "go with the flow", you're going to find yourself overtaken, and you'll never be able to catch up. You're going to get winded, you're going to be tired and then, I'm going to really get to work. All those fries from Wendy's are going to come back and bite you in the ass you fuckin' hog.
Poe steps into the camera.
Poe: Hi Primal wimal.
Ash mimics Primal's scene.
Ash: Hi Kewwy.
Poe bats her eye.
Poe: Pwimal, you look like a beasty weasty out der.
Ash: Thank you, I'm a beast and I'm blushing. Say, it's great of your company, where you have an egostical and very strict boss to let you show up for another company, his very competition, and let you be in my promo.
Poe: Wasn't it so beweaveable that I'd be in your promo?
Ash: I think I really proved I have friends now. They'll like me for sure because I have a famous fwiend.
Poe breaks character.
Poe: What a fuckin' nerd.
Ash laughs.
Ash: Hey Primal, that was a great scene, you're in the friend zone with Kelly. God you're pathetic. You think that's going to make us jealous, that you're her girlfriend, that you bitches go shopping together and do each other's hair. Well Han Solo had Chewbacca, Boo had Sully, Million Dollar Man had Zeus, and Kelly has Primal. You're a fuckin' slave, people use you for your weight and that's all you'll ever be good for. Basically, you have the same use as a paper weight, but the paper weight knows just how useless he truly is. With your moronic brain, it's still going to take you a few years.
Ash: I watched your promo and thought of ways you got Kelly on your little promo, I took in, your lack of brain, I took in your way of speech, and I definitely took in the size of that gigantic head. And I came to this conclusion, obviously you met her at the make a wish foundation, and your wish was granted. She only skypes you, because you scare the living shit out of her, and you're one of those people who wreaks of shit, no, not b.o, I mean literally shit. You have that look and walk like you might have half a shit hanging out at all times. So I commend Kelly on keeping up her friendship with you, she has a bigger heart than you do vocabulary.
Ash: But that's the only way people are ever going to do anything for you, because they simply feel sorry for the big dumb retard. Hey, I'd feel sorry for you, but nothing is going to cost me this win.
Ash: To make things worse for you Morty, I can bypass you all together and make this a race to pin Freddie Styles or Jeff Jackson. You will not have four choices, you will have a race, and every time you think you're that monster, I'm going to humble you. I'm going to make you as small as peanut, and I'm going to make you have the confidence of the same size.
Ash: You are worried about consequences, and I will gladly take on the consequences of being a winner. Because I for one, take responsibility, while you stand there deciding which one of you is going to take a shit. What is hilarious, is that you think you're primal, but all your promos are full of, is you thinking. You're like a god damn MTV reality show, thinking and discussing with others your trials of being a big dumb jackass in a world full of winners. You want to know how to cope, why don't you become one of those woods people, that way when people see you at night, they can claim they saw big foot sights. At least you would serve some purpose there.
Ash: Primal, you talked down to all of us and said some beast was coming, but how did it end, with your ever present insecurities once again arising. I'm a man of action, and believe me, while you're thinking, the match...will already be over.
Ash: The other two who didn't even bother to promote this match, you are useless, you are pieces of shit and I hope that you get aids in your rectum and everyone questions your sexuality for the rest of your short, meaningless lives. This match goes to me....this match goes to Ash Soulsfate.
The camera fades to ....
Black